So a couple days ago, I come home, open the door, and find this waiting for me:

My first thought is that I might have blacked out and overdone it on Amazon again. But when I looked closer I realized what was really going on:
My book. My baby.
My next thought was that these might be my author copies. But there was WAY too many for that. Then I remembered that a couple weeks ago, one of the PR people at Penguin told me that a bookstore owner had read the advance copy of the book and really loved it. He wanted to buy a hundred copies for his store, and was wondering if I would sign them for him.
I said, “sure, no problem,” then pretty much forgot about it.
Carrying all the books inside really made me realize that 100 books is, to put it delicately, a whole shitload. And this is just for one store….
So anyway, I pulled out a book and decided to get started. I figured this was going to take me a while, unpacking, signing, then repacking the books to ship back out.
But before I even opened the first book, I was paralyzed with performance anxiety. Seriously. I held the pen and thought, “What if my signature doesn’t look… well… authory enough?”
You know that phase you go through when you’re in middle school, where you practice your signature so you’re ready for when you become a rock star and have to sign autographs all the time? I know most of my peer group went through this somewhere between the ages of 11 and 16. One of my friends actually developed an entire variant style of cursive writing that he’s used ever since. It was, and still is, totally cool looking.
Anyway, I never went through that phase. I wanted to be a rock star. But I suspected I didn’t have the right sort of hair. I also had the penmanship of a demented monkey. Plus, I was lazy and had no musical talent to speak of.
Instead I wasted my time reading books, talking to girls, and doing my physics homework. As I looked down at the hundred books I was supposed to sign, I mourned my misspent youth.
So I sat down and signed my name a couple times. Its one of those things that’s easy if you’re not thinking about it, and hard when you’re concentrating too much. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that the O leading into the T and the H is kinda hard to do quickly. If you rush it, you get tripped up and your H gets tangled up with the F.
That’s right. Laugh it up. It’s a hard name to sign, especially when you’re obsessing, and nervous, and you have, at best, the penmanship of a third grader.
Anyway, I toughed it out and did my best. I still think my signature looks a little goofy, and there are a few of them where the H looks like it’s getting freaky with the F, and the F might not be entirely cool with it. But still, given the fact that I started this whole process with a significant handicap, I think I did pretty well.
I just finished the last one, repacked the boxes, and got them ready to send out.
So before I go to bed, I’d like to give you aspiring writers out there some advice. Learn from my mistakes. Practice your signature now.
pat


Ask The Author #2 – The first step to publishing.
Hi Pat,
I have just finished the first draft of my first novel and have a short story that will see print in the Dragonmount anthology for 2006.
Now I have to do the agent thing, and not only would I not know a query letter if it jumped up and bit me in the nose. I dont really know what I should do now. I mean what is the thing that will help me get to the next step. (Feeling very green and newbie at the moment.)
I mean I will have my name in print I want to use that to get to the next step.
Any advice would be welcome.
Thanks for your time.
Karl.
Honestly Karl, my advice is to work on the book before you even start hunting for an agent.
I know that’s not what you want to hear. But it’s the best advice I can give you.
Now believe me. I understand how you feel. You don’t want to wait, revise, tinker, and edit. You’ve finally finished your huge project. You feel awesome. You’ve worked for months or years to get to this point. It’s finally done. Now you can sell it and get rich and famous. Or you can at least take the first step toward becoming moderately less poor and obscure.
I know that’s how you feel because that’s how I felt back in 1999 when I “finished” my trilogy.
I say “finished” because it wasn’t. My story had an ending, sure. I’d written the trilogy all the way through. But was it finished? Good lord, no. Nowhere close.
Let’s approach this from another angle. Let’s say your query letter catches someone’s attention. If you’re lucky, the prospective agent will want to see the first 30 pages of your book. When they read those pages are they going to say, “WOW, this is awesome! I can sell this for sure!” or are they going to say, “Hmmmm, it looks pretty rough.”
I’m guessing if you just finished the first draft, it’s going to be the latter.
At that point the agent either has the option of putting in a ton of time and effort into you and your rough manuscript. OR they can toss it aside and read one of the dozens still sitting on the slushpile, hoping for something that’s clean, tight, polished-up, and ready to sell right now.
Which option do you think they’re more likely to pick?
It’s my belief that you should never show your work to anyone in the publishing world until it shines like a diamond. Rough drafts don’t shine, as a rule. Mine certainly didn’t. That’s why I was rejected for years and years.
I’m actually glad the book was rejected during those years. Sure it was frustrating, but it forced me to go back, improve the story, and improve myself as a writer. I learned things about plot and character, about structure and brevity, about scene and story.
If that early version had made it into print, you wouldn’t be reading my blog right now. That early version of the book wouldn’t have recieved gushy reviews and author quotes. The publisher wouldn’t have ponied up money for this cool website. If that early version had been bought, it would have been read by a handful of people, then probably quickly remaindered and forgotten.
But I was lucky, and I got seven extra years to work on my story. My book is worlds better now, and, as a result, people are really enjoying it.
You say you want to take things to the next step, Karl. Here’s the next step. Revision. The first step is the draft. The second step is the revision. The third and fourth steps might be revision too.
Am I saying you should spend ten years working on your novel? No. Of course not. I’m just saying that first you need to work on your craft as a writer, THEN you should focus on your product, LAST comes the selling of it. Leave that for later.
But when it comes time to get that agent, Karl. Tap me. I can give you some pointers. I spent two years doing it wrong, I can help you avoid my mistakes.
pat