Okay guys. Are you ready? This is my best idea ever.
Did you know if you mix tea and cup-a-soup together it tastes really good?
I’m not going to tell you which kind of tea or which flavor cup-a-soup, because honestly, I think I might want to patent this. I’m serious. It’s like I’ve discovered the philosopher’s stone.
I have an unhealthy fondness for cup-a-soup. I drink… well… kind of a lot of it, and I’m not proud of that. It’s also not a secret that I have a burgeoning substance abuse problem when it comes to caffeine, either.
But here’s the beauty of the situation. When you put these two things together, they form an elegant balance.
Sure the cup-a-soup has my entire day’s worth of sodium in a single serving, but the caffeine in the tea is a diuretic. Zero sum.
Sure the cup-a-soup is full of MSG and terrible artificial preservatives, but the tea is full of all sorts of healthy antioxidants, so I’m pretty sure they just cancel each other out.
It’s low calorie. It’s delicious. It’s cheap. It fills me with energy. I’m pretty sure it’s boosting my metabolism right now. I’m pretty sure if I keep drinking this, I’ll be able to communicate directly with angels and shit. When I market this, I’m going to put this on the side of the box: Now With More Enochian!
My heart is beating really fast right now. That’s how I know it’s working.
How did I have this brilliant idea? I’m glad you asked. See, I had a lot of e-mail to get through this morning, so I made a big cup of tea and drank half of it.
And then I wanted cup-a-soup, so I made some and drank half of it:
I know what you’re thinking. “Wow Pat. Your life is pretty glamorous! Someday I hope I become a #1 New York Times Bestselling author so I can eat soup in a cup and have a desk that consists of a piece of particle board sitting on two filing cabinets!!!!”
Well fine. Be that way. Mock all you like. You’re just jealous because it never occurred to you to do this:
No, I’m not talking about the photoshop filter. I’m talking about mixing tea and soup together to form a miraculous uberbeverage that is going to revolutionize life as we know it and usher in an age of peace and harmony to all mankind.
Now you might be looking at saying to yourself, “Wow, that’s a pretty big mug, Pat.”
Yes. It is a big mug. Self-actualization is not for the faint of heart. And besides, the size of the mug is just going to be another selling point of my miraculous three-tiered souper-tea regimen. Each of those mugs contains a full quart of liquid. That means after drinking both of them, I’ve already had all eight of my recommended eight-ounce servings of water for the day. And it’s not even 10:00 yet.
That’s right. I’ve figured out all the angles. I can feel myself getting healthier by the minute. I think my entire body is turning into pure energy. What does a stroke feel like? Does it feel like you are becoming a being of pure transcendent light? Probably not. I think it’s more likely that I’m just fast-tracking my way to Nirvana here.
I’m fine. Today is going to be a really productive day. I’m fine.
* * *
In other news. The Pairs Kickstarter is clipping along nicely.
There are five decks unlocked right now, and we just passed the stretch goal for the second one of mine: the Modegan Deck with art by Shane Tyree.
I’m really looking forward to giving y’all a look into that world. You haven’t even caught a glimpse of Modeg yet. It’s a very different place.
We’ve got two more of my decks lined up as future stretch goals too. One is a Princess and Mr. Whiffle deck, and the other one is a Faen deck. Specifically, it’s set in the Twilight court, the corner of the Fae where Felurian and Bast hie from.
The art for both of those will be done by the excellent Nathan Taylor.
Nate drew these sketches to tease y’all a bit, but remember we’re only going to be doing those decks when they get unlocked around the 115K level.
We’re well on our way to hit that, mind you. I’m just letting you know. Full disclosure.
I’ll be making a more detailed update about the Kickstarter early next week, including showing off some more of the art.
But for now, here’s the link to the kickstarter if you want it.