My Far Wanderings: San Diego and Spain

So this week begins the pure madness of my convention season.

Amanda and I did the math a few days ago and realized that between now and mid-September, I’m only home for 15 days. And those days are not all in a row.

First on the docket is…

  • San Diego Comic Con

I’ve made a habit of SDCC for years now, but this year I’m trying something a little different.

Because I hate being away from my family for large swaths of time, Sarah, Oot, and Cutie Snoo are coming with me to the con.

Cutie - 8 weeks

(The shirt was a gift. Honestly.)

Because I don’t normally travel with my kids, I think this would be a good time to establish some ground rules. Okay?

1. Being off-duty.

One of the main reasons I go to conventions is to see/hang out with/interact with my readers. I like meeting you guys.

That said, one of the *other* reasons I like going to conventions has nothing to do with you. It’s simply that I like going I like going to conventions. I like wandering the dealer’s room, looking at stuff, hanging out with my friends, and just being a geek.

Does that mean that I resent it when someone comes up to me in the dealer’s hall and asks for a picture or an autograph? No. Not really.

But you have to realize that sometimes I’m in a hurry to get somewhere. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I haven’t eaten all day. Sometimes I’m enjoying the only free time I have available all day. Sometimes I’m just trying to get to the bathroom and you’re the third person to stop me in the hallway.

That means that if I beg off, and say, “No, I’m sorry, not right now.” You have to respect that.

I’m not saying you have to be delighted. I get that you might *really* have your heart set of getting a picture with me and the nearby statue of Sailor Moon. But it could be I’m late to a panel. It could be I only have 25 minutes to eat some food before I’ve got an interview. It could just be that I’m really, really weary and not feeling very social at the moment.

Let me put it this way. While at many points in the convention I am absolutely all-the-way there just for you. At other times I’m not. And if you hit me in one of those *not* times, I’m well within my rights to politely decline your request.

To simplify, when I’m at a convention, I exist in two possible states:

On Duty – Signing stuff. Doing panels. Taking pictures. Playing games.

Off Duty But Approachable – With the understanding that I might not be up for anything right now.

But now we have a third option, too: With My Family

If you see me at the convention and I’m carrying a baby, or pushing a stroller, or sharing an ice cream cone with my son that means I’m With My Family. During these times you should probably consider me extra-off duty.

Can we exchange companionable nods with one other? Sure. Can you offer up a geek solidarity fist bump? Absolutely.

But asking me to pose for a picture, sign a book, or explain the best way to get an agent? Not so much.

2. Don’t touch my kids.

I know. My children are fucking adorable. It’s like their mutant power.

And I know that wanting to touch kids is a totally normal mammalian response.

And I also know that a lot of you feel a connection with me, and with my kids. You’ve seen pictures of them. You’ve read stories about Cutie on facebook and seen the #OotSays hashtag on Twitter.

But seriously. Don’t touch them. I don’t know you. We don’t want them getting convention plague. And more likely than not, a stranger coming up and pawing at them is just going to freak them out.

And you *really* don’t want to see my grizzly bear type protective dad instincts kick in. You really don’t. Really. You don’t want to spend comic con in the hospital, and I don’t need the bad press.

So. Consider this fair warning. Tell your friends.

*     *     *

  • My San Diego Comic Con Schedule

Thursday, July 24
4-5pm Putting the Epic in Epic Fantasy Room: 25ABC
With Robin Hobb, Joe Abercrombie, Raymond E. Feist, Django Wexler, Morgan Rhodes, Sam Sykes, Moderated by Brent Weeks

5:30-6:30pm Signing table, AA09

Friday, July 25
1:30-2:30pm Playing Gloom with Geek and Sundry
JOLT ‘N JOES
379 4TH AVENUE, SAN DIEGO, CA 92101

Saturday, July 26

1-3pm Signing at Badali’s booth – #532
4:15-5:15pm Rulers of the Realm Final, Room 6A
With Joe Abercrombie, Diana Gabaldon, Lev Grossman, George R.R. Martin, and moderated by Ali T. Kokmen.

Other booths where I tend to lurk:

  • Mysterious Galaxy: #1119
  • Penguin Booth: #1028
  • Badali: #532
  • Geek Chic: #4928
  • Thinkgeek: #3849
  • Karen Hallion: Artist’s Alley BB-11

If anything else comes up, I’ll probably just tweet about it.

  • Spain: Madrid and Aviles

After San Diego, I’ll be going straight to Spain.

First, I’ll be doing a live interview on Espacio Fundación Telefónica on Tuesday, July 29th.

The show starts at 19:00 (UTC+02) and it will also be broadcast on their podcast channel, so you can listen to it from anywhere. For more details, the podcast, and a chance to get tickets, visit their site at http://espacio.fundaciontelefonica.com/.

Then, I’ll be headed to Aviles to Celsius 232. From what I’ve heard, it’s a really cool con. What’s more, it has no badges or entrance fees, so anyone who is in the area can come see me.

Thursday, July 31
1:15 PM – 2:00 PM Adventures of the Princess Panel. Carpa de Actividades.
Conducted by Jorge Ivan Argiz.
2:00 PM – 2:45 PM Signing in the Carpa de Actividades.

Friday, August 1
10 AM – 12 PM Signing in the Carpa de Actividades.
6:15 PM -7:30 PM The Works of Patrick Rothfuss. Casa de la Cultura.
Conducted by Diego Garcia Cruz.

Saturday, August 2
10 AM t – 12 PM Signing in the Carpa de Actividades
6:15 PM -7:30 PM Three Different Approaches to Fantasy. Casa de la Cultura.
With Brandon Sanderson and Joe Abercrombie. Conducted by Cristina Macia and Jorge Ivan Argiz in the Casa de la Cultura

Hope to see some of you soon….

pat

This entry was posted in babies, Being a Curmudgeon, conventions, How to be a Worthwhile Human Being. By Pat90 Responses

90 Comments

  1. Marvelld
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 3:13 AM | Permalink

    Completely understand the whole don’t touch my kids thing. It was very difficult trying to explain to my mum why we couldn’t shake Stan Lee’s hand or touch him at all at the LFCC.

    Why on earth would anyone want a thousand people touching them?? No idea where those geeky hands have been (well apart from the obvious – pawing comics, pawing cosplayers, pawing merch haha).

  2. MaeSusume
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 3:47 AM | Permalink

    This strikes me as an excellent time to link to Peter David’s Fan/Pro Bill of Rights for conventions. (Special emphasis on Rights the First and Third):

    http://www.peterdavid.net/2011/11/28/the-fanpro-bill-of-rights/

  3. midobal
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 4:17 AM | Permalink

    The first time you came to Spain I was in Scotland as an exchange student. I told myself that if you came again I would definitely try to go to see you, but now that the time has come I have responsabilities that doesn’t allow me to cross the country. I know it probably doesn’t depend on you, but it would be awesome if someday you could also come to Valencia (one of Spain’s largest cities, right after Madrid and Barcelona, and quite pretty if I may say so). Hope you have a nice time here, and be prepared for quite a warm weather.

  4. Holmelund
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 5:13 AM | Permalink

    A few people have learned in a very painful manner that I live by and enforce this rule:
    If you touch my daughter without my up front consent, I touch you.

  5. firebird
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 7:10 AM | Permalink

    Gotta set boundaries. It sucks but maybe a body gaurd to watch the kids? If it’s gotten to the point of having to tell us not to touch them then it might be time for a little muscle.

  6. Posted July 22, 2014 at 7:17 AM | Permalink

    Have a great time at SDCC!
    I considered going, but when I heard about many months ago, it was already sold out. Oh well, some other time then.
    Hope you will enjoy Spain as well.

  7. XETWS
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 8:13 AM | Permalink

    I really don’t know why and i’m 100% not seeking any kind of violence here, but this blog post made me angry with you Pat.
    Please don’t get me wrong, i don’t want anybody touching my kids and i don’t want to touch yours either.
    Just an isolated feeling maybe.
    With love.
    X.

    • firebird
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 8:50 AM | Permalink

      Well i think it’s safe to assume he posted this because these things have happened. Now we know not to be pricks because he’s human and doesn’t like it huh who would have gussed?

    • StacyInAlaska
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:52 AM | Permalink

      What’s to be angry about? I think establishing some boundaries ahead of time is important for both Pat & Family’s enjoyment of Comic Con and his fans’ enjoyment of seeing him and of Comic Con. Staying polite and respecting boundaries should be at the top of every attendee’s list. I know that’s hard to do when a fan sees so many of their heroes/idols at Comic Con and one can be overcome with excitement, but that’s no excuse for not remaining respectful of personal boundaries, especially where his family is concerned.

      • Posted July 23, 2014 at 1:20 PM | Permalink

        Makes me angry, but for the other reason…. that he HAS to say these things, and voice these boundaries. Kinda leads into my now daily mantra:

        “common sense is anything but common these days”

      • XETWS
        Posted July 25, 2014 at 11:48 AM | Permalink

        Of course, i totally agree with you.

    • trunuyawkr
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 10:24 AM | Permalink

      My guess at why you are feeling angry? (And agreeing up front this is just a guess): Because Pat is going on the offensive in being proactive. Rather than saying, “Hey, would you guys mind please not……..” he is giving you fair warning – basically, I envision Pat as Moses saying THOU SHALL NOT on top of Mount SDCC. And you know what? That is *totally* cool by me. I used to get completely p.o’d when complete strangers tried to touch my kids in the grocery store. And that was just one or two people. Here you have THOUSANDS trying to do so. My youngest kid literally almost died at birth, and was medically fragile for the first few months of his life. I actually hung a sign on his carrier saying, “Yes, he is cute. I get it. But he is NOT YOURS to touch, so please don’t. Seriously. It is for his health and welfare – and yours.” with a picture of a Momma Bear standing protectively over her cub. People may have thought I was a b**ch, but at that point their feelings were not my concern – the health of my kid was. That’s my job as his parent, and Pat’s job as Oot and Cutie Snoo’s job as theirs – to protect his kids.

      Bravo on this post, Pat. Have fun at your conventions!!

    • Rob3
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 12:31 PM | Permalink

      Honestly, I felt the same way. It’s because of the following:

      And you *really* don’t want to see my grizzly bear type protective dad instincts kick in. You really don’t. Really. You don’t want to spend comic con in the hospital, and I don’t need the bad press.

      If he had left out that paragraph, it would have been a perfectly clear and reasonable thing to say.

      Instead, it’s like walking down the street and having some random guy walk up to you and say “I have a Ferrari in the parking lot down the street; I know it’s sweet, but if you touch it I will put your ass in the hospital”. It feels like aggression without any provocation, and puts you on the defensive.

      Intellectually, I understand where he’s coming from.
      Emotionally, it elicts a “screw you, douchebag” response.

      Still a fan of Pat, but this lowers my respect for him a bit.

      • sayonion
        Posted July 22, 2014 at 3:35 PM | Permalink

        I think Pat’s whole post was entirely reasonable. I’m positive that there are fans out there who will think that these requests don’t apply to them, so he’s just being extra clear and firm up front.

      • Swimmingly
        Posted July 22, 2014 at 7:04 PM | Permalink

        Intellectually, I can see where you’re getting your emotional response from.
        Emotionally, I’m getting a “screw you, douchebag” response.
        What he’s saying is not “I have a Ferrari and you can’t touch it.”
        It’s “I have a two young children and you can’t touch them.”
        I see a clear distinction between these two scenarios. You really shouldn’t lose respect for a father who is protective of his children.

        • Rob3
          Posted July 23, 2014 at 8:04 AM | Permalink

          What I should have said was that I was disappointed, not that I had lost respect.

          My example was intentional, I know that there is a big difference between a Ferrari and Your Child (I’m not a sociopath). I wanted to remove the protective-father element from it, to show why it instinctually raises the hackles of some people (myself included). I can’t control my emotional response, only what I do with it.

          It’s not a case of “How dare he protect his children”, it’s a case of “Someone is threatening me without cause; invoke anger response!”.

          From his point of view, it probably feels appropriate, and I do get it.
          I’m also allowed to feel the way I feel.
          My intention was only to let XETWS know he wasn’t alone, and why he might be angry.

          • Karissima
            Posted July 23, 2014 at 8:43 AM | Permalink

            ^ This.

            I don’t think Pat is being unreasonable either, but I had the same emotional response.

          • Swimmingly
            Posted July 23, 2014 at 10:53 PM | Permalink

            Fair enough; neverless, given that it’s a public blog, and wasn’t targeting any particular individual, a threat like that has about the personal enmity attached to it of a “Beware of Dog” sign. It was a joke, if in poor taste.

      • cloudjumper
        Posted July 24, 2014 at 6:44 PM | Permalink

        Yeah, I agree Rob3. That bit was jarring. But my emotional response wasn’t “Screw you”. It was “Then don’t bring your kids to an enormously popular event that brings people who have a shaky concept of socially appropriate behavior.” (Sorry if this is a baseless stereotype.) It’s not fair to Pat but this is what comes with fame. That said, I fully support his grizzly bear protective instincts. He’s a dad. That’s his job and it’s the most important job. More important than bringing us all book 3.

        • bostoncharm
          Posted August 27, 2014 at 12:23 AM | Permalink

          I think Pats comment was rude. It could have been said with tact and less threats.

      • Posted July 28, 2014 at 2:28 AM | Permalink

        No, really, try walking around with cute kids. Even if nobody around knows you or the kids, if the kid is cute enough people tend to be touchy. I’ve literally had complete strangers come up and pick up my niece just because they thought she was cute. He is just establishing that Dad comes before Author. Frankly, it helped restore my faith in humanity that he is putting his family’s welfare before fan happiness. He loves his kids. And, seriously, if I get people trying to touch my niece and neither of us is famous, how much worse do you think it will be for somebody so well known and sociable as Mr. Rothfuss and his, I must say, gorgeous children? I think the warning was absolutely in order, and there is no point where I would be off put by somebody having reasonable concern for kids who can’t take care of themselves or even fully understand what is going on.

        And, if it is offensive that it seems unwarranted, well, like I said, go take a walk with a cute kid.

        • justajenjen
          Posted July 29, 2014 at 1:09 AM | Permalink

          Totally. I used to have random little old ladies shove candy in my son’s mouth and then ask me if it was ok if he had some. Then people get all pissed off and offended when I say, “Hey! Not cool!” Thankfully, the kid doesn’t have any food allergies and the worst fall out I had to deal with was crying child because Mommy took his candy away, but there is NO WAY random old lady knew that. I have a friend who’s child had a severe peanut allergy and random well meaning person gave the kid a mini Snicker’s bar. Kid ended up in the hospital with a reaction.

          So, yeah, DO NOT TOUCH, or feed, other people’s kids without permission.

      • bostoncharm
        Posted August 27, 2014 at 12:30 PM | Permalink

        I agree with you 100% His comments were OVERKILL

    • Jsherry
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 12:46 PM | Permalink

      I respectfully have to disagree with those of you who were somehow hurt/angry/offended by anything Pat said here. It’s good that you are a little taken aback that Pat would need to be so forceful in his assertion of protectiveness for his children, since it means that you are probably sensible people who feel a little bewildered that Pat would have to come on so strong. But while I’m sure the vast majority of Pat’s fans are just as sensible, let’s not forget that “fan” is short for “fanatic,” and there are still plenty of people who either willfully ignore or innocently overlook boundaries, and they need a dose of clarity and directness in such situations. And Pat gave it to them along with a spoonful of humor to help it go down.

    • Kali
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:08 PM | Permalink

      If you are baffled by Pat’s vehemence, likely the vehemence isn’t for you or people like you.

      Pat probably sees thousands of people at conventions. If even 1% of those are really awful, that’s ten terrible interactions his kids could be in range of. One bad situation with his family would probably be deeply upsetting to everyone involved.

    • GhostWriter
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:53 PM | Permalink

      SoLars typically beyond gracious, so I can understand being a little surprised by his post, but come on. He’s a man with a family, not a PR firm. You know how protective folks get when it comes to their kids, not to mention how obnoxious crowds can be. You can’t expect him to be PC 100% of the time.

      • GhostWriter
        Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:55 PM | Permalink

        *Patrick is typically beyond gracious. (Darned autocorrect)

    • amandasb
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 5:50 PM | Permalink

      You seemed to be a little confused. Pat is reasonably asking for a bit of privacy and alone time with his kids. Don’t touch his children would seem extremely obvious, but we all know there are people who don’t have boundaries. He has gave plenty of opportunities on when to approach him. Pats not a robot, he’s an author, father and husband (with grizzly bear transforming abilities), so leave the man be! Hats off to you pat!

    • Aynelise
      Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:12 PM | Permalink

      I would have to agree completely with Pat. Having your kids touched by PERFECT Strangers is very disconcerting and, as a parent, would make me feel:
      a) fearful
      b) pissed off
      c) both–which is a bad combo
      These feelings are intensified the younger the kids are–so with a baby, it goes to volcanic proportions.

      If you’ve never experienced these feelings, try going through security at LAX when TSA decides to pull both adults out of the line for search and SEPARATES the kids (ages 2 & 4) from the parents. It happened to me and, frankly, I’m surprised that I’m still a free citizen. Good for you Pat. More parents should be this protective

  8. khil1
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 8:47 AM | Permalink

    In my head I read the part of being with my family as in a kind and understanding but stern voice.
    Rule 2 started in the same voice but ended with a menacing growl sitting at the back of the throat with my imaginary Pat brandishing a medieval melee weapon (I’m thinking a mace).
    I’m not sure I would even look at Oot or Cutie after reading this post, it’s just full of fatherly protectiveness.

    On a side note, I just imagined Pat as a bear which then lead to an Oot bear, who is crazy adorable.

  9. Steven
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:34 AM | Permalink

    I think a more important reason to obey rule #2 is that having your favorite author and idol seriously pissed off at you would do terrible things to your soul.

  10. UrsulaK
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:37 AM | Permalink

    But Pat, when are you coming to Ankh-Morpork?! Whaaaah!

  11. inizitu
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:40 AM | Permalink

    The fact that you actually have to SAY “don’t touch my kids” is O.o. who DOES that? Who leaves their house thinking “I think today would be a good day to make a strange child feel violated and uncomfortable. Wouldn’t want them to get any silly ideas about personal space or bodily autonomy.” Just….O.o

    • Pangurbon
      Posted July 26, 2014 at 9:36 PM | Permalink

      Have you ever been a parent in a grocery store? Or been the child with a parent who had a small baby in the grocery store?

      This literally happens ALL the time. I am a sister and have a brother who is MUCH younger than I am. There were multiple times when I was around 16 that I’d be in the grocery store with my broher in his stroller and some looney would just walk right on up and jam their entire face into his space.

      “OMG HOW *OLD* IS HE!?!?” “Can I hold him”, one lady said, as she ACTIVELY tried to unbuckle him. I saw red, and gave her such a freaked out demonstration of my 16 year old vocabulary that she walked away looking like she was ready to cry. It wasn’t that I was a bad person at 16. I was extraordinarily protective, and the lady just came out of nowhere SO quick and with such disregard to our personal space that I just kind of flipped out.

      And THAT was not a situation where I was a parent. If I had been his mom, she probably should have considered herself lucky to leave the building with her head firmly attached to her shoulders. Crazy stuff happens all the time to kids. And when in large crowds, the likelihood that you will run into someone who’s just completely batshit crazy with no regards to your space or feelings goes up tremendously. I’m glad for Pat’s sake that he decided to post this. It will make people think about personal boundaries and potentially save someone some very severe injuries.

  12. gabogap
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 10:01 AM | Permalink

    I think it’s a very fair warning, cause as you say, many people have read about Oot and might “feel that they know him”. If I were famous and had kids, I would never post pictures of them, though. Some people are crazy, and your job is to break people’s hearts. It’s a dangerous cocktail.

  13. Tabz
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 10:19 AM | Permalink

    It’s always hard to be someone who is so open and loving of his/her fans and then try and establish some boundaries. When fans feel a connection with someone as deeply as a lot of us do with our geek celeb “friends” it can be hard not to go up to them when we spot them. I think Pat’s got a great, approachable set of rules.

    Personally, living in Los Angeles, I see a lot of celebs out and about in the wild and normally don’t ever approach them or snap photos. ESPECIALLY when they’re with their kids. The kids didn’t sign up for the famous part and they need their parent and enjoy a normal kind of setting.

    Be cool with celebs. It may seem sad that you don’t get the picture, but you always get the experience of seeing someone you like — and sometimes that’s way better.

  14. DragonSoul
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 10:33 AM | Permalink

    Perfectly reasonable requests! You might not think it would be necessary to warn people not to touch your kids but, people sometimes do idiotic things before thinking them through.

    Many years ago when my daughter was a baby we went shopping. I took her stroller into the dressing room with me so I could try on some clothes. She started to cry as I was changing and the next thing I knew an older woman had pushed open the curtain and picked her up! When she saw the shocked look on my face she realized what she had done and apologized profusely. She said it had been “instinctual” to want to pick up and comfort a crying baby.

    Fortunately, she had meant no harm and wasn’t looking to kidnap her. I’m just glad I didn’t have to chase her through the mall in my underwear. Oh, and I never used a dressing room again that didn’t have a latching door.

  15. ericturner29
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 10:47 AM | Permalink

    Related to: my kids are my kids and you may not touch them.

    When I am pregnant: my belly is my belly and you may not touch it. Me being pregnant does not make my abdomen part of the public domain. Keep your hands to yourself.

    • Karissima
      Posted July 23, 2014 at 8:48 AM | Permalink

      Seriously, what’s up with people?? I’ve heard of this craziness from so many pregnant women. Who thinks it’s ok to touch a perfect stranger? Were these people raised by monkeys?

    • justajenjen
      Posted July 29, 2014 at 1:14 AM | Permalink

      This. I told one person that if they didn’t remove their hand from my belly, I was going to rip off their arm and beat them with it.

      The only people who were allowed to touch was my doctor, my husband, and sometimes my Mom because she was understandably excited about her first grandchild.

  16. dorwinrin
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 10:48 AM | Permalink

    About the chance to get tickets in Madrid… nope :_(

    They were all gone in 15 minutes last Thursday. Now all that most of us can hope is to win the twitter contest and earn a ticket!

    About the conventions… have you considered hiring a bunch of us as your personal guard? Nothing would be more awesome/frightening than you entering a place flanked by a dozen red-handed Amyr.

  17. jazdia
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 11:12 AM | Permalink

    I totally understand. When we went to the Phoenix Comic Con, my husband and I saw you several times outside of panels or signings. (I brought the calendar!) We saw you outside of the Drinks with Authors panel, with Cutie and Sarah. My husband spoke with you and you answered. I probably looked star struck, but left you alone otherwise. I thought about offering to help, because Cutie was fussing a bit, but didn’t think it would be welcome. And then on Sunday morning, we saw you and Oot in line for an ice cream. My husband wanted to go over and say hi, but I disagreed, and then we saw you later for a panel. I can be as star struck as the next geek (you should have seen my reaction to Jonathan Frakes earlier this year at another con!), but I know that everyone deserves the respect to be just a regular person, too.

  18. MommaAng
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 11:28 AM | Permalink

    You are an amazing author, a down to earth famous dude, a compassionate giver and most of all and the most important; a rocking Grizzly Bear Daddy. That’s the coolest to me. I always tell people to watch out cause they don’t want to see my Momma Bear come out…she will mess you up. Enjoy your Cons Pat and I think your honesty with your fans makes you that much cooler.

  19. Posted July 22, 2014 at 11:30 AM | Permalink

    Have a nice time! Personally, I’m hoping to catch you at one of your smaller CA events though. SDCC is soooooo packed, it’s outrageous, too many fandoms at once.
    Seems to me if someone has some hope or expectation of actually getting a chance to chat with you, take pictures, whatever, they should hit an event that is focused solely on you. These are totally fair guidelines.

    Anywho, hope you all have a lot of fun, I think its great that your whole family is getting to attend more events with you.

  20. PanicMoon
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 11:46 AM | Permalink

    Any chance you’re w00tstocking this year? (fingers crossed)

  21. sandibd
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 11:53 AM | Permalink

    Have fun at SDCC. I hope Oot looks around and is in awe of all the cool stuff he will get to see and experience.

    I would never in my wildest dreams ever take a picture of someone’s kid if I didn’t know them personally. I don’t even post pics of kids in my own family without their parents ok. Kids are kids and should have the fun and joy of spending time with their family just being kids. So keep in mind folks, if you do see Pat and Oot eating ice cream, you might want to reconsider before snapping that picture too. Oot deserves that right to privacy.

  22. JJLeggo
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 12:28 PM | Permalink

    Ha, I read this post picturing myself walking up to you at a convention, murmuring “be cool, man – I got the stuff,” while surreptitiously handing you a couple of granola bars :)

    As for myself, I’ve never understood the fascination with touching babies or pregnant bellies…

  23. Kali
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:03 PM | Permalink

    Totally understand about the kids thing. Stranger kid touching is distinctly uncool. Here’s hoping the kids get the positives of the visit to SD without too much overload or any drama from over-friendly people!

    FYI, you have admirers at the SD zoo and safari park (Hi!), which is a really cool place for kids and adults. If y’all haven’t already planned on it but have free time available (slim chance, I know), ping me and I’ll hook you up with some passes or something. You’re likely insanely busy, but if the Mom-and-Munchkins unit want a non-ComicCon experience, this can be arranged. Keep in mind that both zoo and park have evening hours during the summer and this is often both less busy and a little cooler.

    (I’m not asking to barge in on the fam vacation or anything creepy, just offering to hook you up and turn you/fam loose. If you want a tour of the science side, where I work, I’d be happy to oblige, but the zoo and park are more fun for kids!)

  24. Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:43 PM | Permalink

    Pat, I totally get what you’re saying. And I believe that most of your fans are pretty smart and should be able to “get” it, regardless of your forewarning.

    For example, when you came to Phoenix ComiCon, I saw you talking to someone near Artist’s Ally on Friday, and thought, “AHA! Now will be my chance to try to speak actual words to Mr. Rothfuss (rather than the monosyllabic nonsense-babble that was all I seemed able to produce earlier at your book signing) and ask him for a photo-opportunity. Yes, just as soon as he is done talking to this guy.” At that moment, you completed your conversation, I saw you were about to take off at a sprint to somewhere, and then you noticed I was standing there. But rather than hold you up from your Terribly-Important-Author-Business™, and even though you looked like you MIGHT be able to stop for a moment, I gave a tiny wave and grin and let you go, receiving a nice smile in return. Sad, but still, it felt kind of like I shared a secret with my favorite author for just a moment in time.

    Which still made my con much better than it would have otherwise been.

    However, I suggest you print copies of your rules to hand to clueless geeks who feel impelled to touch your children. Fair warning and all that.

  25. Hibs
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:49 PM | Permalink

    Agree with everything you mentioned, especially the note to fans with Must-Pet-Ze-Cute-Babeh urges.
    Tried to imagine you as Grizzly Papa Bear…
    Came up with this;

    NO TOUCHIE!
    http://ioneglobalgrind.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/tumblr_m64jsgrdfv1qfnxj6o1_400.gif?w=640&h=506

    Clearly, I failed.

  26. kitty713
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 1:50 PM | Permalink

    Fully and totally support this post. And anyone who is offended by it should perhaps remember “Pat Rothfuss is not my bitch” and take a little chill pill.

    You have every right to your privacy and this is probably the nicest way I’ve seen someone do it.

    Maybe get a bunch of small cards printed up, saying something like “I think you’re awesome for being a fan, but right now I’m busy. Hopefully we will cross paths later.” Keep them in your pocket and hand them out to anyone who stops you when you’re “off duty”

    Though that might encourage more people to bother you in order to get cards… :-/

  27. GhostWriter
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 2:00 PM | Permalink

    Pat, I have to ask, if convention season is so crazy, who go? Is it just because you enjoy it? Your books certainly don’t need the promotion. Maybe the publisher makes you go? Maybe you do it for the fans?

    Not judging here or anything, just genuinely curious. I know you stay more than busy and you often lament being away from your family, so I wonder, why do the conventions at all?

    • Posted July 24, 2014 at 2:47 PM | Permalink

      1. I enjoy the conventions.

      2. What’s more, I feel an obligation to make myself available to my readers.

      3. There are some people I only get to meet at conventions. Other authors, for example.

      • GhostWriter
        Posted July 24, 2014 at 8:49 PM | Permalink

        That makes sense, I didn’t think about the “other authors” angle. I guess cons are one of the few times you can see an author in the wild. =]

        You’re under no obligations to us readers in my book. You’re a cool dude for sharing your time, though.

        Thanks for the reply, sir.

  28. gilgamesh
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 3:59 PM | Permalink

    I’m just curious, do authors who go to convention get paid to go?

    • Posted July 24, 2014 at 2:46 PM | Permalink

      Almost never.

    • bostoncharm
      Posted August 27, 2014 at 12:35 PM | Permalink

      Not sure if they get paid, BUT.. the FANS buy the books and watch their TV shows and movies.. so ultimately.. yes.. they get paid.

  29. Isabel66
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 5:16 PM | Permalink

    Totally confused by the “hurt-angry-offended” responses? I thought you were perfectly clear that when you’re with your family, you’re with your family. Period. Where’s the problem? Unfortunately I know (and you know) there are a LOT a people who think because they’ve read your books they own a piece of you – I really hope you don’t have to show your grizzly and that you and your family have a great time! from Vermont!

  30. Istezada
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 6:58 PM | Permalink

    Now, see? I just take my knitting with me to cons. This gives me something to do when I can’t bear to be on my feet any more, but it also, as an unexpected and charming bonus, lets me meet curious and adorable children who want to know (and thus approach me) what the strange lady is doing with the string and the sticks. And since I’m sitting down and my hands are busy, I’m all harmless, which keeps the parents happy too!

    But… yeah. I’m sorry you have fans who approach your kids, Pat, much less try to touch them. That well and truly sucks.

    (For some reason, if I bring my drop spindle with me, the immediate question shifts from “What are you making?” to “Do you have a farm?” I still haven’t figured that one out yet.)

  31. coppertop
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:24 PM | Permalink

    I wonder if there will be any chance for you to do a book signing outside of SDCC? those tickets went quickly and would love to get a book signed!

    • Posted July 24, 2014 at 2:44 PM | Permalink

      Unfortunately, the local bookstore close to the convention center closed years ago.

      I will be signing books with Mysterous Galaxy. So they’ll have signed copies of my stuff after the convention is over.

      If you’re truly desperate to get *me* to sign it directly to you, you could hit Jolt n Joes on Friday. That’s outside the convention center. After I finish gaming there I could sign your stuff before heading off to my next appointment.

      • coppertop
        Posted July 26, 2014 at 1:28 PM | Permalink

        Thank you! We were able to get a picture with you at the gloom game. I played next table over doing my best master blaster impression with my middle son!
        It was great meeting you and thanks for posing with my family.
        We need to add the picture books (kids?) to our collection so will head to that bookstore. Thanks!

  32. Fang
    Posted July 22, 2014 at 9:26 PM | Permalink

    41 comments and no “Get your stinking paws off them you damn dirty apes” joke? I’m disappointed

  33. Sahirioth
    Posted July 23, 2014 at 2:38 AM | Permalink

    Oh, well, there goes my plan. I was thinking of going up to Oot, requesting “a high five with the progeny of the greats”, and then and “oh and they’re your kids too, Pat”. Cheeky shenanigans averted, I guess.

  34. Marvelld
    Posted July 23, 2014 at 2:50 AM | Permalink

    I actually cannot believe some of you have taken offence to Pat’s post.

    Here is a man, that is giving his fans a little heads up that if he’s with his family he wants to be left alone so he can spend time with them. I think i’d be more offended if he’d said “Here are my children, you can touch them all you want”….. Now I’ve written that it sounds kinda wrong. But you know what I mean.

    When I eventually get round to having sprogs of my own, I expect my husband to go batshit crazy if anyone goes near them. I think a grizzly bear type reaction is the exact reaction he should have.

  35. Abel3189
    Posted July 23, 2014 at 2:15 PM | Permalink

    I hope you enjoy your visit to Asturias, a really nice place, with friendly people. And I hope to get my books signed, even if it means taking the friday off work.

  36. felinecannonball
    Posted July 23, 2014 at 11:11 PM | Permalink

    Have a fun trip!

    I can’t even imagine being the slightest bit of a celebrity and I think some basic respect should be given all the recognizable folks at these things. Not sure I get people not separating a vicarious interest, or professional respect, from an actual personal relationship. Legitimate concerns.

    That said, some parents are wacko ;) As a 4-time uncle I find the conflicting reality distortion fields “interesting” and have learned to nod my head at the appropriate times and avoid interference when fingers or eyes are not in danger. Bear mode is a real thing.

    • Posted July 28, 2014 at 2:39 AM | Permalink

      Totally sympathize with the head nodding. I’m about to be a 6-time aunt. I got on the wrong side of bear mode once. Now I’m a little more cautious. Respect the bear mode!

  37. firebird
    Posted July 24, 2014 at 10:24 AM | Permalink

    Sweet baby jesus pat I’m dieing here. Eric heisserer tweeted something about the tv pilot/series bible ( I don’t even know what that means) Went out for buyers the other day. What does this mean? I thought FX already bought it.

  38. gilgamesh
    Posted July 24, 2014 at 1:41 PM | Permalink

    The series bible is just a break down of what the series will be about.

  39. alisir
    Posted July 24, 2014 at 3:28 PM | Permalink

    Really looking forward to listen to your talk in Madrid. I have been looking around in the linked site but can’t find the streaming site for the podcast. If you could maybe tweet the link to the stream at some point before going live, it would be really awesome!

  40. mgshredder
    Posted July 25, 2014 at 6:35 PM | Permalink

    I was setting off rockets with my kid when Pat came through Appleton WI last weekend and didn’t get wind he was in town until a friend called me from the back of the ticket line. Stopped by the store this afternoon and took a look at the stack of signed books that he left behind, and I think I might have located a 1st Edition of Wise Man’s Fear in the pile of signed books. It had the printing error with the missing numbers anyway. Maybe the printing error just recurred in a later printing, because I’d be pretty surprised if B&N still had a 1st ed. laying around 3 years after release. I picked it up anyway.

    The folks I know that went had a great time, although they missed the excitement of my son and I stomping out one of his rockets which was on fire when it came down.

    • Posted July 28, 2014 at 2:53 PM | Permalink

      You should be able to tell what edition it is by looking at the copyright page. It will have a series of numbers, like 1 2 3 4 5 or 5 4 3 2 1 etc…if it contains a 1 then your copy is a first edition.

  41. ACleverLettuce
    Posted July 25, 2014 at 10:41 PM | Permalink

    Regarding the people upset about Pat’s “hands off” policy, I think Pat’s own writing says it best.

    “When someone tells you a piece of their life, they’re giving you a gift, not granting you your due.”

    He invites you here to be part of his life. Accept that gift and be thankful for it.

  42. Marquita
    Posted July 26, 2014 at 6:37 AM | Permalink

    I get why people felt a little disturbed by this post, and I don’t think it’s very nice to shame them for feeling that way. No one was outraged, it just plucked an emotional chord inside, and we all know that that can be totally outside of a person’s control (( KVOTHE)) so let’s all give each other a break. It’s okay to feel a bit miffed or turned off, especially since not one person here said they wouldn’t follow the rules. Just that the tone was a little hurtful, and that’s alright! I know I kind of felt like a puppy getting smacked with a rolled up newspaper ..tail between my legs ..but I didn’t even do anything! Lol whatever, overall we all get what he means. Just respect his space, por favor.

    Mayyyybe the delivery was a bit much those of us sensitive types :)

    • kooyla
      Posted July 27, 2014 at 12:04 PM | Permalink

      Right there with you, Marquita. I don’t disagree with the sentiment of not touching other people’s children (which I certainly would never do without express permission, because people with children are totally nuts in that arena, no offense parents), but I also don’t like being vaguely threatened…maybe that’s just me?

      • kooyla
        Posted July 27, 2014 at 12:07 PM | Permalink

        And also, this is all purely intellectual- I’d be way too nervous to approach one of my favorite writers, with or sans kids.

  43. Posted July 28, 2014 at 2:16 AM | Permalink

    This post made me very happy. (And sad, but that is just cause I’m a poor college student living to far away to go to ANY conventions. >.>) But, seriously, I was getting so sick of hearing all these stories about bad parents and mistreated children, This made my day. The me that is a babysitter, and an older sister, and an aunt, all broke out in huge smiles reading about the “With Family” rules. It added a huge amount to the already over full “I-Love-Mr. Rothfuss-o-meter” C=

  44. Eli N. Lockne
    Posted July 28, 2014 at 2:57 AM | Permalink

    It’s instinct to guard our children and also make them feel safe. If someone, a stranger, accidentally or not, scares or make your flesh and blood feel uncomfortable, you react and act from that pure instinct. And this instinct does not say: “Well, maybe it’s rather okay, i mean perhaps he/she is a terrific human being. Let’s take it easy and see if it all goes well.” It would rather say: “It takes one single blade and some force to kill my baby for all eternity! Fucking do something!” and then you stand between them and let your guarding fist hit their face with such force they will be incapable of hurt your child.
    Some people are oblivious to this fact and will also, if they are unlucky, feel the consequences.
    Take it easy with fathers and their children. Show respect, let them introduce you if they feel it is safe. Because it is not to be an ass, it is to guard the most precious thing in their life.

  45. justajenjen
    Posted July 28, 2014 at 1:59 PM | Permalink

    So, I’m kinda hoping you and Diana Gabladon became new best friends when doing your panel together, because you guys have the most super awesome red-head characters ever. (Except Amy Pond, but no one can deny that.)

    Now I think I’ll go write a crappy fan fiction about Jamie and Kovthe hanging out in a bar and drinking together and trying to teach each other all the languages they know.

  46. bostoncharm
    Posted August 27, 2014 at 12:29 AM | Permalink

    I’m a huge Diana Gabaldon fan and RE Martin fan. Thought I wod check I out. But your post about threats to fans that touch your kids I’d just rude. I am no longer interested in reading your books. These conventions are for your fans, you know… The people that pay your bills .maybe keep your kids at home.

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