As I mentioned before I took a recent trip to Iowa City because Nancy Andreasen wanted to take a picture of my brain. She’s a Big Deal neurophysician who’s doing research into how the brains of creative folk do their big, weird think-makings.
The plan was for me to go in, get my brain scanned, have an interview, then do some tests that measure cognitive function.
It was going to be a full day, so I drove down to Iowa City and spent the night. The morning before I went into the hospital, I was nervous.
Specifically, I was nervous about what shirt I was going to wear.
While I was driving down to Iowa, it occurred to me that if, say, lightning struck the building when I was in the MRI, I might develop superpowers of some sort. And on a day when you might develop superpowers, the shirt you wear is a pretty important decision. As they say, clothes make the man.
Because I hadn’t planned ahead, I only had two good options. One was my Legend of Neil t-shirt. And the other was my tried and true, Joss Whedon is my Master Now shirt.
At first the Neil shirt seems to be the front-runner. While pixelated, Link’s powers are nothing to scorn. In addition to a cool pan-dimensional inventory system. I could throw bombs, shoot fire, and engage in some implausible but terribly convenient music-based teleportation.
Plus, when I was at full health, I’d be able to throw my sword. Or shoot lasers out of it. I was never really clear on that.
Despite all this, I went with the Whedon shirt. While less tangible, Whedon’s storytelling prowess is more in keeping with my lifestyle. If I could add his powers to my own, I would become nigh-unstoppable. Plus, I hear that due to contractual obligations, he can call up Alyson Hannigan at any hour of the day or night and have her drive out to his house just so he can smell her hair.
That’s a power I wouldn’t mind inheriting. It would be nice to cross that off my list of…
Okay. Hold on for a second. Time out. I’ve got to tangent away for a moment.
Here’s the deal. Sometimes, late at night, when I’m low on sleep and writing a blog, I write stupid bullshit that strikes me as funny. This isn’t a new thing. In addition to my novels, I’ve been writing ridiculous humor pieces of one sort or another for almost twenty years now.
What’s different now is that I’m doing it online. Also, these days a ridiculous number of people read the blog. People link to it. Sometimes 7-8 thousand people a day stop by to read what I write.
Usually I don’t think about it much. But every once in a while I get a terrible thought: what if someone reads this?
I’m not talking about us geeks. I write this blog for my fellow geeks to read and laugh at. I’m worried about one of THEM reading it. Y’know. One of the cool famous people…
What if a couple years from now I’m at some party out in LA, and I get to meet Alyson Hannigan? A mutual acquaintance waves her over and introduces me as “New York Times Bestselling Author, Patrick Rothfuss.”
She smiles politely. Nods. But wait… there’s something more. I see a flicker of recognition in her eye. I get excited, thinking, “She’s read the book! She knows who I am!”
Then she says, “You’re that pervert who wants to smell my hair!”
I freeze in place, trying to think of something witty and disarming to say. But all I can think is, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why did I ever write that blog? Why didn’t I just post up tour dates on my website like all the other authors? Why didn’t I write nice safe blogs with funny pictures of my cat? What is wrong with me that I’m compelled to tell these weird fucking stories all the time?”
Then, with the fluid grace that comes from years of experience, Alyson maces me. I fall to my knees, clawing at my eyes and saying something garbled about the fact that all humor is rooted in transgression. But before I can make my point clear, Alexis Denisof steps up and proceeds to give me the beating of three different lifetimes in the space of about 45 seconds.
Which sucks, because that means I probably won’t ever get a chance to smell his hair either. So that’s two things that are never getting crossed off my list.
Jesus. You see? I can’t stop. I swear there is something wrong with my brain.
Speaking of which, *that* was supposed to be the point of this blog. Showing you the picture of my brain.
So here it is:
(Click to Embiggen)
It’s actually a computer model that they generated based on the MRI scans. If any of you can find the spot on there that compels me to endlessly make an ass of myself, I’d appreciate it if you’d point it out to me. Maybe then I could do a quick Dremel trepanation and let the demons out or something.
Wearily yours,
pat





50K Blog – A Few of my Favorite Things
Over the last couple years, I’ve been cautious about the donation goals I set for Worldbuilders. I set my sights on a goal I’m pretty sure we can hit, and only after we get there do I bump up the target number on our donation thermometer. Some years I’ve done this eight or nine times.
I do it this way because back in 2008 when I started all this, I thought to myself, “I wonder if I could get people to donate 5000 dollars if I gave away prizes and offered to match donations?”
When I raised that much in just a couple of days, I was stunned. So I moved it up to $10,000 dollars, worrying that I was overstepping myself, not really believing that we could raise that much….
Three years and 600,000 dollars later, I still feel the same way. Every year I find myself thinking, “Will publishers help out again? Will authors care enough to send me books? Will people tweet and link and spread the word to their friends? Will geeks of all creeds and nations step up to the plate one more time?”
Then it all comes together, and I’m full of stunned, warm-fuzzy joy all over again.
This year, I decided to try something different. Rather than move our donation goal around all higgledy-piggledy, I decided to set some target levels. Something we could shoot for as a team. Then, if people are awesome enough to help me hit those goals, I’d put extra stuff into the fundraiser as a way to thank everyone for contributing.
We hit our first goal of 50,000 last Friday, so today you get the first of these blogs. I’ve got four more planned, each with increasingly cool additions to the fundraiser.
This is the one I like to think of as the AV blog. Where I share some of my favorite non-book media with with y’all.
Over the years, I’ve made no secret of my love for Joss Whedon. I started watching Buffy seriously in 2002, right when I was seriously starting revision on The Name of the Wind. Watching this series changed how I thought about storytelling, and the tricks I learned from it taught me a lot about plot and characterization.
Simply said, I think this is the finest television show ever produced. So I’m adding it to the prize lottery.
I started watching Red Dwarf way back in the day. Back when it was on VHS tapes, and you couldn’t find copies for love nor money in the US.
This is the full eight seasons and the recent three-part: Back to Earth.
In my opinion, you aren’t a real sci-fi geek if you haven’t watched this. It’s one of the classics. Best of all, because the show relies on the cleverness of the writing rather than special effects, it holds up very well these days even though the first season was more than 20 years ago.
I will never get over the cancellation of Firefly. Not in a hundred years. And I meant what I said earlier in the year when I wrote an open letter to Nathan Fillion.
If you don’t like this series, odds are we can’t be friends. I’m sorry. That’s just the way it is.
Some people didn’t like Dollhouse. Then again, some people are idiots who drink their own pee.
[P.S. If y'all in the marketing department at Fox would like to use this as a promotional quote for the series, feel free. Just spell my name right.]
This is one of the CD’s that you can get from Dreamhaven. It’s one of the earlier recordings of Neil Gaiman reading his own work. Good stuff.
Like the above, but different. If you catch my meaning.
This is a two-CD set also features music by Dave McKean and the Flash girls. It features Gaiman reading poems and stories from Angels and Visitations.
As an interesting aside, in the liner notes, it reads:
Some people think that I hate poetry, not realizing, perhaps, that Kvothe and I are actually two different people.
Believe it or not, we are separate entities with different thoughts and emotions. Other telltale differences include hair color: Mine is brown. His is red. He is mostly a fictional character, and I am mostly real. He is a better singer, while I am a better kisser.
We also radically differ on our opinions of poetry. He has an irrational loathing of it, while I myself quite enjoy it.
Well…. some of it. The good stuff.
This is the good stuff. Lovely poems selected and read by America’s greatest living storyteller: Garrison Keillor.
You can also tell that these are good poems. Because, well, it says so right there: Good Poems. You can’t get much clearer than that.
This is a 4 CD set, containing a marvelous selection of poetry read by a number of wonderful readers, including Keillor himself. Honestly, I would listen to the man read a phone book. Getting to hear him read some of the finest poetry ever is just a bonus.
I loved Flight of the Conchords before they were cool. If you haven’t watched their HBO series, you really need to.
I raved about this BBC Audio production last year on the blog.
And you know what? Everything I said about it then is just as true today. I listened to this a couple weeks ago and laughed my metaphorical ass off. If anything, I think it’s funnier the 20th time around.
While Garrison Keillor is my favorite living storyteller. David Sedaris takes a close second place.
I only discovered him a couple years ago when someone recommended I listen to “Six to Eight Black men.”
They were really insistent, so I looked it up on Youtube just to shut them up about it.
The next day I went out and bought this box set, which contains 20 CD worth of David Sedaris reading the entirety of Me Talk Pretty One Day, Naked, Holidays on Ice, Barrel Fever and Other Stories, and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.
I’ve been a fan of The Guild since back in 2008 when I interviewed Felicia Day and we became BFFs.
Because I love spreading the word about cool indi geekery like this, I picked up several sets of the first two seasons of The Guild when I was at San Diego ComicCon with the sole purpose of giving them away to people and getting them hooked on the series.
Felicia was nice enough to sign them for me. She’s just an all-around nice person.
*Â Â Â Â *Â Â Â Â *
Remember, you for every 10 dollars you donate on the Worldbuilders Team Page, you get a chance to win everything here, not to mention the hundreds of other books that have already been donated.
What’s more, if you donate before January 31st of 2012, Worldbuilders will match 50% of your donation.
Also, every dollar donated brings us closer to $100,000. Once we hit that, I’ll post up another blog with more personal additions to the fundraiser.
And lastly, don’t forget about the auctions Worldbuilders is running right now. Some of them will be ending soon…
Spread the word…
pat