Category Archives: babies

Published: July 30, 2010

Lesbian Unicorns

Pat,

I had to miss San Diego ComicCon this year. It’s my first one I’ve missed in five years. Many tears.

What did you think of it compared to last year? This was only your second ComiCon, wasn’t it?

Michelle

This was only my second ComiCon, Michelle. But I have to admit that it felt a lot different than the first one.

Part of the difference was that this year I knew the lay of the land. I knew where the all night deli was. I knew the layout of the dealer’s room and how to find the place with the good seafood.

The other big change was that this year I’m a dad. This was the longest stretch of time I’ve spent away from Oot since he’s been born. It was harder than I expected, and I missed him from the very first day.

For example, last year when I went to the con, my mental commentary was like this: “Hey! Hot girl dressed as Poison Ivy! Hot girl in chainmail! Hot catgirl! Batman!”

I make no excuses for this. I am who I am.

But this year when I walked around the con, I was thinking, “Oh, look at that baby! Cute baby! Baby dressed up as Yoda! Hot Catgirl! Batman!”

Also, this year I was smart enough to schedule times to meet people instead of just hoping we could get together. As a result, I got to have dinner with Brandon Sanderson and Christopher Paolini on Saturday night.

We had a lovely conversation, and at some point Paolini told us that in an early draft of his first book, the main character was named Kevin, not Eragon.

Not to be outdone, I said that in an early draft of The Name of the Wind, Kvothe was actually a lesbian unicorn.

I didn’t think much of it. This is the sort of thing I say all the time, and I don’t expect people to pay much attention to me.

But I failed to take into account twitter. Which led to someone sending me the profoundly bizarre e-mail.

So the next day when I was doing a reading and signing at Borders, one of my lovely readers brought me a present:

It is, of course, a lesbian unicorn. His name is Kvothe. You may of heard of him.

I had a good laugh over it, and thought that would be the last I ever heard of it. But after I get back from the Con, I find one of my friends has sent my the following surreal e-mail.

Pat,

Okay, so I am doing a search for “pink unicorn gay” in Google Images because, well, it’s a long story…  (Shut up!)

Thing is I spotted something very odd pretty early on in the results.

I swear to you this isn’t a set up or faked or anything.  I just typed in “pink unicorn gay” and this is what I got!

[name withheld for blackmail purposes]

(Click to Embiggen.)

So yeah. That was the unexpected result of this year’s ComiCon. Permenently linking Kvothe’s name with the phrase “Lesbian Unicorn.”

Working to make your day a little more surreal,

pat

Also posted in Brandon Sanderson, Catgirl, conventions, fan coolness, lesbian unicorns
|posted by Pat 68 Comments
Published: September 25, 2009

What all the Fuss is about….

It’s been a busy couple days over here.

Because:

There are many of you out there who deserve to hear this news by phone. Or by getting an e-mail. Or through a sarcastic gorrilagram of some sort. But I just can’t manage it right now. As you can see by the picture, we’re all pretty tired around here.

Everyone always says things like, “The labor was 8 hours long…” or “She was in labor for 15 hours.” Or something like that. I don’t know where to officially start counting the official labor, but she started having contractions Friday night, and we had the baby Tuesday morning. So no matter how you count it, it was long.

The end result is pretty good though. Little Oot is healthy and happy. He resembles his daddy in that he likes boobs and sleeping. Everything else will be sorted out later.

I won’t trouble you with his measurements. I’ve never really understood the desire people have to quantify a baby. “He’s X big and Y long,” As if the baby is a fish you’re not sure you’re going to keep. Or some prize potato you’re hoping will win a prize at the county fair.

Rest assured that he does posses mass and volume. He has all three dimensions and the requisite number of usual parts. He is a boy child. A Libra. Full of grace. An ox. Pinkish in color. Soft. And we have just received independent verification that he is cute as a button.

I’ve been stockpiling blogs over the last couple months, so you’ll see some of those when I’m too busy writing and being domestic to write a new one. If anything, posts will probably be more frequent for a while.

If you have a piece of baby advice (and it seems like everyone I meet does) feel free to post it below. I will also accept cute baby stories. Everyone likes cute baby stories.

Sweet dreams everyone,

pat

Also posted in Oot, Sarah
|posted by Pat 316 Comments
Published: May 17, 2008

Photo Contest Part II – Babies

Everyone, I would like you to meet Captain Joe. You saw him paying homage to the book in the last blog.

Though Joe put together a lovely shrine and took an excellent picture, I mentioned in that he couldn’t win a prize in that category.

Joe came into the contest early, and he came in strong. He photoshopped, posed, dramatised, and wrote captions that cracked me up. What’s more, he seems to have put his life at risk at least once or twice. As in this one, where apparently he climbed up onto a roof….

…to set up a scenic shot.

So why can’t Joe win?

Well, the first problem is that Joe entered so many photos, of so many types, that if I let him win, he could, potentially, crowd out a lot of the other folks in the competition.

But the second reason is the larger of the two. You see, Joe is an Australian.

And I hate people from Australia.

No. Kidding. Just kidding. Well… I’m half kidding…. Joe is actually from Australia, Perth specifically. But I don’t hold it against him.

The real problem is that back when I set this up, back when I was hoping to get maybe a dozen entries, I said that the picture needed to include the paperback. They don’t have access to the US paperback in Australia yet.

This was a short-sighted mistake, and I don’t plan on repeating it if (when) I do another one of these.

Still, I’m left with a problem. On one hand, it is a rule. IN a way, it’s unfair to everyone else if I suddenly change it after the fact. But on the other hand, Joe’s pictures were pretty cool, and, in my opinion, this sort of fanatical minioning should really be rewarded.

So here’s the deal. In the upcoming blogs you’ll see Joe’s photos included in the categories such as “Most Sexy” “Most Dramatic,” but he won’t be eligible to win. Instead, I’ve decided to make create a new category for him. Let’s call it… “Most Most.”

What does Joe win? Well, that’s a good question. I’ve got some various stuff to give away as prizes.

1. Good old-fashioned signed copies of my book. I’ve got a bunch of the new hardcovers here at my house, and though I love them, they are taking up quite a bit of shelf-space. I’ll sign or personalize them and send them off to you if that’s what you want.

2. Copies of my first published book, The College Survival Guide.

This is a collection of the first four years of a humor column I used to write. It came out in 2005 and they only printed about 500 copies. I still have a box of them here at my house, so I’ll offer them up as prizes. Signed by me and my fabulous illustrator friend, Brett Hiorns.

3. Maps of the Four Corners, as rendered by my friend Nathan Taylor. Signed by both of us.

The winners and the runners-up can have their pick from these three. So if you see you’re a winner or a runner up, you might want to send me an e-mail letting me know which you’d like, and your real-world address too, if you haven’t done that already. Remember the address is paperback.contest {squiggly at thinger} gmail.com

In Joe’s case, because he really went the extra mile, I’m also going to include either one of the old black-cover galley copies of the book, or one of my old manuscripts. Whatever makes him happier.

Now, on to today’s category.

When I finally gathered all the pictures and tried to group them together, I found they didn’t fit neatly into the categories I’d been expecting. Oh sure, there were dramatic pictures, and cute pictures, and pictures of people reading. I’d counted on that. What I hadn’t anticipated were groups of pictures involving food, or birds, or babies.

This photoshopped one was the exception to the rule. Everyone else sent me pictures of their babies, which now that I think of it, is really unexpectedly sweet.

This guy has hair like mine.

Ah yes. This guy seems to have his priorities straight….

Eeeeeee! No! Don’t bend the cover back like that!

Awwww…. This guy wants it too. What’s more, he’s picking it over a bunch of brightly colored toys. I think we could hang out.

The Runner-Up. This is about the cutest thing ever. I think it’s a combination of the hoodie and the fact that the little pink elephant wants in on the action too.

But here is the undisputed winner. The caption that went along with this picture reads:

“Levi can’t believe he has to wait so long to continue the story. A year is a long time for a 2 month old.”

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but every time I look at this picture I end up laughing. I’ve never seen anyone so absolutely furious in my entire life. It’s nice to know that the angriest fan I ever have will never be this angry.

That’s all for now folks. More on the way….

pat

Also posted in College Survival Guide, maps, photo contest
|posted by Pat 20 Comments