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Category Archives: Fucking With You

Wherein I Start Reading Fifty (50) Shades of Grey

Okay, so everyone’s been talking about it for ages. Everyone’s reading these books. There’s a movie out. Articles are being written all over the place…

I tend to have a irrational aversion to things that are really popular. But at the same time, I feel its my job to be aware what the general populous is reading.

So I’ve decided to start reading 50 Shades of Grey:
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It might take me a little while….

I’ve heard that there’s some racy stuff in there, so I’ve been careful to keep Oot away, lest his innocence be irreparably harmed….

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God. He’s such a little ham. I can’t imagine where he gets it from….

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Now right now I can hear you thinking, “Pat, did you just spend 500 dollars on books just so you can make a joke on the internet?”

To which I reply: You bet your ass I did. What’s more, I don’t feel even the slightest bit bad about it.

The main reason for this is the fact that Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde is an amazingly good book. And I never feel bad about spending money on books I love. (You can see my gushy review of it over here on Goodreads.)

What’s more, I’m sure I’ll find something else fun to do with these books. Maybe I’ll go and hand them out at the movie theatre to people standing in line to see Fifty Shades of Grey. Maybe I’ll just give them away to friends. Maybe we’ll include them in something we’re doing in the future for Worldbuilders.

That’s all I’ve got for today, folks. Sorry to pun and run….

pat

P.S. And just to head off people who will doubtless be asking in the comments. I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey or seen the movie, so I don’t have much of an opinion on them.

That said, I have heard that they’re not a good depiction of proper BDSM behavior. Which is a shame, because tying people up (or being tied up) can be a ton of fun with the right partner if you do it in the right way. Alternately, it can be a supremely bad scene when you do it in the wrong way. Do your homework before jumping into something like this, folks.

P.P.S. There’s only two days left on on the Humble Bundle book deal. Then it’ll be gone forever.

Also posted in My Iconoclastic Tendencies, Oot | By Pat69 Responses

Preview, Review, Redo

Still recovering from the fundraiser and my recent trip to LA. Most of my time is spent catching up on sleep, writing, and spending time with my boy…

Even so, I’ve got some stuff I ought to share. Three things, actually. Because… well… y’know. Three.

  • First off…

…here’s a Kickstarter thing I’m involved with for next year. A cool, fantasy-themed photography calendar.

What they can’t mention on Kickstarter is that the proceeds from the project will go to support charity.

What charity, you ask? Why Worldbuilders, of course. And another favorite of mine, First Book.

But Kickstarter won’t let you discuss charity stuff on their site. So Lauren, the photographer spearheading the project, goes into it in more detail over here.

  • Secondarily…

Anyone interested in the classics might want to take a look at my goodreads review of Go, Dog, Go!

Here’s a teaser for those of you disinclined to click a link….

I respect what the author is attempting to do here, thematically. Eastman is a philosopher at heart, examining how things relate to one another. Are we a green dog or a yellow one? Is it day or night? These are big questions, and they need to be asked….

You can read the whole thing over on goodreads. Or, if you’re really trying to avoid doing any work today, you can browse through all my reviews on there…

  • Thirdly and lastly…. 

For those of you who have not yet seen the pictures, last week at Confusion I did a thing with some other authors.

I will speak no more of it, merely provide a link.

Be careful, once you’ve seen it, you can’t un-see it.

If you happen to be the odd sort of person who *wants* to see something like that, perhaps even multiple times, you can bid on a rare, multiple-autographed copy of it over here.

Proceeds, as always, go to charity.

pat

Also posted in being awesome, recommendations | By Pat27 Responses

(Fantasy) Avengers Assemble!

I’m busy writing stuff and otherwise being awesome.

So instead of a great wordy blog you get a link to an article on Tor.com where they talk about assembling an avengers-style team out of fantasy characters. I was flattered to see that Kvothe got a spot on the team. That’s some rarified air he’s breathing up there with LOTR, Song of Ice and Fire, and the Princess Bride.

Quite aside from the obvious observation that Kvothe would have to be played by Robert Downy Jr. This list raises some interesting questions.

More to the point, a list like that is fanfic waiting to happen. And I personally wonder who Kvothe would:

1. Buddy up with.

2. End up Fighting in a Dark Knight Returns style grudge match.

(Yeah. Yeah. I know. That’s DC. Shut up.)

3. Rub the wrong way.

4. Rub the right way. (If you know what I mean.)

Feel free to speculate away in the comments below. I know I’m going to….

pat

Also posted in fanfic, Fantasy, geeking out | By Pat74 Responses

My Sweet…

I talk about a lot of things here on the blog. I answer fanmail. I tell stories. I ramble and pontificate.

But it’s on days like this, days that center around kisses and chocolate, that I realize I’ve never really gone out of my way to mention a very special woman in my life.

Those of you who read this blog fairly regularly might find it strange that someone as screwed up as me is currently in a loving, long-term relationship. The truth is, I’m a little surprised myself. I’m not an easy man to live with. I can be moody, anti-social, and irritating. Truth is, anyone who could put up with me for all these years must be some sort of saint.

Well she is a saint. She’s has stuck by me when no one else would. She’s given me love and comfort when I needed it most. Some folks say she’s too nice to be going out with me. Some say she’s too young. But they’re wrong; we’re perfect together.

I am, of course, talking about Little Debbie.

Debbie, I’d like to thank you for all you’ve done for me. We’ve had our bad times, and I know I haven’t always been faithful. But in the end I’ve always come back to you. That fling I had with the foreign girl was a mistake. It was just one of those whirlwind romances, it was exciting, and hot, and wet. But afterwards I felt empty inside, we didn’t even speak the same language. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. No Swiss Miss could never be as sweet as you.

You stuck by me during those experimental couple of months when I sowed some wild oats with that Quaker guy. It was just a phase, really, and I was just curious. And later on… that brazier thing…. Well, I just wanted to try it on for size. I know that was hard for you when you found out I’d been sneaking out to the Dairy Queen three or four times a week to meet up with Buster and the rest. Oh sure, they treated me right, but none of them treated me as good as you.

I’ve made mistakes along the way. There was the time when I tried to spice up our relationship a little by bringing that Crocker woman in. She seemed so mature, so worldly. I fell for her sweet talk of alternative lifestyles and polyamory. What a fiasco. You were right all along, she made things more complicated than they needed to be. I wish I’d never laid eyes on that braisin’ hussy.

But we’re together now, and that’s what matters. Who would have thought when we met long ago, (Do you remember? That nutty bar down in Madison?) that it would have lasted this long….

Yours forever,

pat

Posted in Fucking With You | By Pat50 Responses
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