When in Rome….

Well folks, I’m in Rome. And you know what they say, “When in Rome, do what the Romans do.”

Personally, I’m assuming that the Romans blog.

My overall impressions of Rome will have to wait for a while. As will the anecdotes of my first few fumbling days as a world traveler.

For now, I just wanted everyone to know that:

1. I did not die in a terrible plane-type accident.

2. I will be posting up a blog about my UK reading/signing dates and times as soon as they’re all set up and solid. So far we’ve got the firm details on a Manchester signing at Waterstones on the 28th swtarting at 7:00. More specifics so that will be up on the Tour Schedule page soon.

3. Lastly, for those of you that care about this sort of thing, I got the first draft of book two finished Manuscript printed and mailed to my editor two hours before I got on my plane. To say it was a bit of a rush doesn’t really convey the frantic nature of the past two weeks of my life.

The manuscript is a beast, by the way. Here’s a quick picture I snapped of it. Included is the US hardcover to give some perspective.

Align Center

Thing is huge. Took more than 3 reams of paper to print. Took six hours just to spellcheck….

Do you know what it’s like to run spellcheck for six hours? It’s like a party in purgatory. A party in purgatory where all they have to drink is sugar-free Kool-aid, and the only game to play is Monopoly, and none of your friends show up.

On an unrelated note, recently, I got a really funny piece of fanmail from someone telling me how to live my life. I was going to post it up in a blog and make fun of it, but then I wondered if that would make me a dick.

I mean, it is my nature to mock. It is my way. It’s who I am. I try to be honest about the me that I show here on the blog.

But at the same time, when I wrote the College Survival Guide, I developed powerful mocking abilities. Like superhero-level stuff. I don’t know if it’s fair to turn the withering blowtorch of my sarcasm onto an unsuspecting person who just happens to be a clueless, controling, passive-agressive fucker.

What do y’all think? Mock or not?

More later, as soon as I can get internet access again.


This entry was posted in book two, foreign happeningsBy Pat269 Responses


  1. Kirk
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:39 AM | Permalink

    Mock please!

  2. C. Nickolas Carlson
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:41 AM | Permalink

    I’m all for unrepentant obliteration, but it might make you a bit of a jerk. Still, so long as you’re not giving out his email address or identifying him in some way, it seems harmless enough. It’s obviously your call, sir, but if it were me I would probably choose mocking.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:08 AM | Permalink

    Well, congratulations on finishing the manuscript. Now you can tour the world in peace, without it hanging over your head!

    You mess with fire, you get burned. Mock’em.


  4. Vae
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:08 AM | Permalink

    MOCK! please Pat, mock your hilarious ass off, please!!! Also, congrats on the manuscript. I’m sure I could never imagine the stress and time and love you poured into it. But I’m also sure it’s gonna be great, perhaps even better than NotW *gasp* so thanks again, for all your hard work. looking forward to some world-class mockery.

  5. Justin
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:09 AM | Permalink

    my vote is for mocking!!!

  6. Dave-Brendon de Burgh
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:10 AM | Permalink

    Awesome stuff, Pat! :-) We all know how hard you’ve been working and the stress you’ve been under – it’ll all pay off! Congrats!

    P.S. leave the poor guy alone – he’s (or she’s) probably one of those sorry types who get some weird kick out of being knocked down to size by someone with a life. :-)

  7. Chicochi
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:12 AM | Permalink

    No need to waste time on people like that. You’re on a vacation of sorts. Enjoy yourself. Though if mocking that guy sweetens your trip then by all means mock away but if you feel that your time would be better spent doing other things then let it be. Grats on finishing the manuscript. It looks monstrously entertaining.

  8. Timothy
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:16 AM | Permalink

    What I am wondering is whether or not a novel of that length will be able to fit into a hardbound book. Three reams is already 1500 pages! I guess it’s single sided, and it’s in manuscript layout, so it should condense quite a bit…

    Also, why are you sending a printed manuscript at all? Surely they won’t need to hand type that all into the computer again! Why not send a nice, tidy electronic file?

    But anyways, Yay! It’s nice to know that the end is in sight. Now for the editors to dig into it!

  9. Brian Igelchen
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:18 AM | Permalink

    How the hell did you spellcheck that shit in six hours. That’s sick xD But awesome anyway xP

    Have fun in Rome Mr.Patfuss.

  10. Insa Miller
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:33 AM | Permalink

    6 hours?? I was fed up after 2 hours spent with the spell-checking of my last story.
    Worst thing is when you try to believe what Word wants to tell you and Open Office hates the new words. I’m very confused about that. Hope you didn’t have to go through that, too (Please don’t start spell-checking in 2 different programms, it
    s really annoying).

    Anyway, have fun in Europe and mock your head of!

  11. ReaderMayne
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:46 AM | Permalink

    Holy Crap that’s HUGE…. It’s thick and probably tangled up plots and all that. Kinda reminds me of your beard in a way… Tis a thing of beauty. I can only imagine the postage it took to mail that thing off. Congrats. Not only will Sarah be giving birth, but after 6 hours in purgatory, you will too!

    Oh and if it is in your nature to mock, then mock you must, for as Shakespeare once wrote, “to thine own self be true.” meh… it’ll be good for a laugh.

    Enjoy Rome with your family.

  12. Liam
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:05 AM | Permalink

    vote number 8 for mock! (vs a piddling 3 votes for not mock, I’m thinking mocking should win).

    There’s quite a difference between wishing an author would finish a book faster, and writing to said author to lecture them about how they spend their time. I’m sure your publishers and assistants lecture you enough, nobody needs some ignorant frothing fanboy doing the same.

    Absolutely stoked about book two by the way! That thing is a beast, might take me two sittings this time (depending on how many sick days I take this time :P)

    Have fun in Rome!

  13. Chiara
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:16 AM | Permalink

    yeah, have fun in rome!! hopefully the weather’s good, in rome you have to walk quite a bit, if i remember it well… remember to go see “fontana di trevi” and throw a coin in the water :)

    congratulations for the new book!!! how many pages is it going to be, when printed out?? i am a read-a-holic, so i’m not worried about the huge number it’s going to come out :P the bigger, the better!

    it surprised me a bit that you need to send it all printed out, anyway. i’m writing short stories for children and i never had to send anything different from word files, so far, lucky me (but they’re *hardly* that long!!!)

    ciao, have fun everybody and… well, mock only if you really have to… some people just do not have a lot to do in their own life, they are miserable enough like that – this is only my opinion, of course!

  14. moofmoofmoof
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:22 AM | Permalink

    The cries so far have been to mock. Fair enough; mocking is entertainment and we wish to be entertained. But that poor bloke (or lass) maybe just needs a break. Why not shrug, move on, and forget all about it? I’m sure you have some cutting and witty response; you always do. It’s one reason why we all love you. You’ve already proven aspect of yourself, though, and I bet there are more than enough other topics to discuss in a clever and entertaining way without denigrating this sad sap.

  15. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:26 AM | Permalink

    Ah mock him of course! (So many freaks, not enough circuses…)

    That is a damn good-looking mountain of paper by the way, am doing a surreptitious ‘happy dance’ in the office.

    Have a ball in Rome!

    Kerry Mac

  16. Wilfred Berkhof
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:28 AM | Permalink

    Mockery is great and personally I can’t get enough of it, but I think you’ve set yourself up to fail here.

    If you do mock him publicly now, I think it will definitely damage your image with some people. And after all you’ve got the Rothfuss brand (being an allround nice guy) to think about. Once you lose that you can never get it back.

    See you in Amsterdam Pat!

  17. Fyorl
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:31 AM | Permalink


  18. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:39 AM | Permalink

    Mock the hell out of the poor dumb bastard. He knew what he was getting into.


  19. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 8:55 AM | Permalink

    oh dear god please mock! if someone’s going to write a stupid letter then they should expect a stupid response. that is not to say that your response will be by any means stupid but you catch my drift! as for the size of that manuscript: good god man!

  20. Skyler H.
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 9:01 AM | Permalink

    What’s the point in having a withering, whirling blowtorch of napalmy, acidic destructive sarcasm if not to turn it on and melt someone into a puddle of used-to-be-a-blustery-idiot? Besides, the rules state you aren’t a jerk unless you insult first. It’s only fair that the original attacker be called on their complete and utter asshattery.

  21. marky
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 9:16 AM | Permalink

    Prego, Prego!
    Na, I wouldn’t mock em. I’d send them back an email on how to run their life. It’s your call. While I appreciate people can be arseholes, public humiliation only exacerbates the situation.

    Anyway, I’m gagging to know how you’re finding us Europeans. We’re a classy bunch, eh? And what great drivers we are too!

    So the manuscript is off to your editor. Brilliant news!

    Enjoy Rome, It’s a beautiful city. You’ve picked the right time to visit, the weather is great here.


  22. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 10:16 AM | Permalink

    Not sure if you’ve decided what you’re doing in Rome yet, but if you haven’t checked it out I highly recommend the Trevi Fountain, especially at night while it’s entirely backlit. Most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my travels.

    As for the rest, congratulations on the finished manuscript, and more importantly the extra sleep. Roast the jerk.

  23. Tom
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 10:26 AM | Permalink

    Congratulations on the manuscript! Having it finished must make life look a lot more pleasant.

    I agree with the previous post that Rome is beautiful this time of year. Also the weather perfectly compliments all the amazing gelato (like ice-cream but nicer and healthier for those who don’t know) you get on almost every street corner.

    While I wouldn’t dare presume to tell you how to live your life… :)

    I definitely recommend it.

    On the subject of mocking: please mock. Your rants bring smiles to so many people that the humiliation of some self important dick is a small price to pay.

    5000 smiles >> 1 frown.

    PS. awaiting Manchester’s signing with baited breath.

    PPS. Just thought, maybe the “advice” giver knew how said advice would make you deliciously angry and did it deliberately to give you something to rant happily about. Maybe this is a kind of self sacrifice for the greater good? If so it would be churlish of you to turn down such a generous gift…

  24. Akiva
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 10:28 AM | Permalink

    Mock, of course.

    Wait, Pat, was that <><>my<><> letter? Don’t mock! Don’t mock!

    Just follow my instructions, dammit!

  25. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 10:30 AM | Permalink

    Since a quick glance shows mocking taking a commanding lead, I shall be a contrarian. I suggest parceling the mockery out indirectly over time. Reference it in passing… “That’s like telling someone to …”.

    That pile of paper is impressive, but I was amazed that you <> printed it on paper<>. I can’t imagine a publisher preferring that to getting a Word file via email.

  26. Dan of Oxford
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 10:48 AM | Permalink

    You have to ask yourself.
    What would Kvothe do in this situation?

    Mock. Ruthlessly, efficientlty and possibly fataly.

  27. Damien
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 11:20 AM | Permalink

    MY GOD U ROCK. cant w8 for the release now :D hope they take pity on us and speed up the release date :P

  28. jdcb
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 11:22 AM | Permalink


    If you took the time to submit a letter to an author, you probably noticed the blog on his website. So if you proceed to mail that letter, you know there is at least some chance your letter may be brought up there.

  29. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 11:53 AM | Permalink

    Congrats to nearly finishing book two! That means to me, reading ist getting nearer ;-)

    Mocking? If the letter is insulting, vent your anger. if the letter is just poor, depresssive and jealous, leave it – as Chichoci said, waste of time.

    Greets from Germany to wonderful Rome (regarding gelato: try Della Palma, via della Maddalena)

    P.S. I am confused, that you blog ba day…..

  30. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 11:55 AM | Permalink

    “La Palma” — Scusi!

  31. Caleb Armstrong
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:31 PM | Permalink

    Chalk up another vote for Mock!

    About the manuscript. In the words of Tiny Elvis (of SNL fame): “Man, lookit that thang! Man that thang is huuugge!”

    Hope you enjoyed Rome!

  32. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM | Permalink


    It’s true that mocking now would only hurt your image. That’s why, you should just post the message, and let us mock in the comments!


  33. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM | Permalink

    Ok, first, from one mocker to another – you MUST mock. Do not deny your inner mocking child, or you will suffer until your head blows.

    Or at least, you’ll end up mocking something serious that will get you mocked on your ass (ha. I’m clever).

    I know this. For I have been there.

    Second – I may throw a party now. For I have spawned a legion of rabid NotW fans here in the boondocks and I fear if I don’t, I may have to buy a shotgun – apparently *I’m* supposed to know when #2 is coming out.

    Now, my dear Mr. Rothfuss, mock away!


  34. Katherine
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:39 PM | Permalink

    Can’t WAIT to read the new book – even though I will have to.

    I JUST LOVE it when people tell me how to run my life – what a joy – what a bloody incredible relief that SOMEONE is so bored with their own existence that they have the time and fortitude to study my life through a microscope AND send me helpful comments. It must be so painful for them when I ignore them completely – but on the other hand it does give them something else to rail about…and would so hate to disappoint them by turning all perfect-like!

    Have fun in Rome –

  35. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:52 PM | Permalink

    Constructive mocking is the vote I would choose. Glad to hear your trip is going well. And even more excited to hear that book two is on the next step which brings it that much closer to being completed.

  36. Hanna
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:57 PM | Permalink

    Happy to see this huge pile of paper.
    Couldn’t you just make two books out of it? Would be easier to take along…

    Though I would surely enjoy your mocking, I consider a letter as something personal, so I feel it shouldn’t be discussed in public.
    Maybe he didn’t mean it mean by any means ;)
    (Sorry, those words just had to be written. Pardon my English.)

    Have fun!

  37. Malikelm
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 12:59 PM | Permalink

    Go for it Pat…unless it was me who wrote whatever it is your about to ravage. But otherwise, you answered this question in the begining of the blog…”When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

  38. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:04 PM | Permalink

    where do I find this legendary College Survival Guide of yours?

  39. PJ
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:07 PM | Permalink

    Oh – Heat up the blowtorch and burn the bastard. You’re on vacation. Live a little. :-)

  40. Annalee
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:11 PM | Permalink

    I’m sure you know that Team Mock is going to be in the majority here, because that’s just the way the internet works.

    Not that I’m knocking that, mind you. Mock! (Or at least post the letter, so that we can imagine the mocking it would have gotten?).

  41. Agent Scully
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:12 PM | Permalink

    I am de-lurking to cast a vote for mocking the self-absorbed asshole.

    <>*joins the angry mob*<> MOCK! MOCK! MOCK!…

  42. Jessica
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:13 PM | Permalink

    Mock! Otherwise, how will they learn?

    And YAY for the manuscript!!!!!

    Also, please blog asap regarding hilarity of world travel.

    Peace out.

  43. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:32 PM | Permalink

    Totally Mock

  44. Maureen
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:36 PM | Permalink

    That is one huge block of paper…. but guess what? Knowing that it is finished and ready for the editing makes the four back-to-back final exams looming over my head for today <>that<> much less threatening.

    AS for the mocking… I guess it depends on if they were being dickish about it and took the time to write it out themselves or if it’s one of those “Fwd 2 10 ppl & u get ur wish!” kind of things. If it’s the former, I vote just sending them an irritable e-mail, if it’s the later, mock away in a slightly non-dickish way. Since you set yourself up for it, you might seem like a not-so-nice guy if you really wail on them.

    But that’s just me.
    Toodles! I’m off to eight hours of finals.

  45. Jambo
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:36 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat,

    Congrats on the finished manuscript. Hope you’re enjoying Europe.

    On the question of whether to mock or not, I think that it is only fair that whilst in the home of Juvenal, the father of mockery, you mock!

    Happy mocking.

  46. Jennifer
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:39 PM | Permalink

    Hope you’re having a great time in Rome. I’m totally jealous, by the way. I did convince my husband that we should have a vacation before our baby is born in September, but Rome is not in the cards. We’re going to Las Vegas instead.

    I totally squealed at the pic of the manuscript. That thing looks damn impressive. Oh I hope that we get and advance copy at work before too long. Blood might be shed over who gets to read it first amongst my coworkers.

    And finally, as to the person who told you how to live your life and the question of mocking said person. That really depends, I think. Was it done with the intent of offering advice and being helpful, or was it done is a “You suck. Let me show you how to be awesome like me” sort of way? I’m assuming the latter, but since I haven’t seen the letter, I don’t know. Honestly, it annoys me so much when random people think they know better than I do about my own life. Or when people make random snide comments directed towards me. For example, I was sitting at a local Chinese place, stuffing my face with my dinner in the time I had after work and before my Knit Club meeting. I am 5 months pregnant, remember. There were 3 teenager girls splitting a bowl of steamed rice and going on loudly about how healthy they were eating. I was reading a book and listening to my iPod, but I could still hear them. One of the girls points at me with her chopsticks and says, “I’m glad we’re eating right and not stuffing our faces like that woman there.” I lay my book down, look up at her and say, “I’m glad I learned manners and don’t have to make personal comments towards a pregnant woman I don’t know.” Then I picked my book back up and went back to my dinner. Oh, it was enjoyable to see them beat a hasty retreat, followed by the laughter of some of the other patrons. Sometimes, people just need to be knocked down a peg.

  47. Cat
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:39 PM | Permalink


  48. Kelmar
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:43 PM | Permalink

    MOCK time!

  49. Walker
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:43 PM | Permalink

    Can someone please explain to me why the publishing industry still requires printed manuscripts in the digital era? PDFs are extremely portable and allow easy annotations for your publisher to give you line edits.

    Is it just so that they don’t have to pay for printing costs for editors that are not comfortable reading from a screen (or a Kindle)?

  50. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:43 PM | Permalink

    I vote for posting the e-mail and letting the readers mock him.

  51. Doug Warren
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 1:53 PM | Permalink

    *engage chant mode*
    *disengage chant mode*

  52. Sefarina
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:01 PM | Permalink

    Oh, that huge pile of paper sweetens my day, as I hope it sweetened yours. :-) Just looking at it makes my heart beat faster.
    Enjoy Rome and have fun, you definitly earn it!

    The fanmail thing made me thoughtful, you know. At first, I was for mocking, because I wanted to laugh, but then I thought about the poor guy, who made this terrible mistake – and suddenly I felt sorry for him. It won’t be too much fun for him.
    We all love you, sir, and personally, I would suffer a lot if you made fun of me.
    It’s one thing to be slapped in the face by an enemy, but by your favorite author?

    Maybe you should turn this case over to higher powers, meaning: ask Sarah!
    She knows you, she knows the mail, she seems to be nice, and she has the Belly of Power ;-)

  53. rainy-day1991
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:01 PM | Permalink

    I don’t feel so bad about whoever wrote that letter, but I’m in agreement with some others here. It would probably hurt your public image. I think that person would know by now, and if he doesn’t, then it means that he’s not reading the blog and therefore won’t be able to cry over being mocked.

    But I’m happy as everyone about the manuscript. XD If we find any spelling mistakes, we’ll just keep them as a souvenir.

  54. Yoni
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:06 PM | Permalink

    The person might be a jerk, but there has to be an understanding of personal privacy when letters are exchanged – you know, freedom of speech and all.

    Any chance you’ll be flying into New York after this Euro trip?

  55. Dave
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:06 PM | Permalink

    That is a sizeable stack of paper.

    Please condense to hardcover and send my way at your earliest convenience.

    Also, mocking annoying fanmail is your right. We promise to enjoy it.

  56. Bonnie
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:08 PM | Permalink

    Oh hell yeah, mock. The idiot shouldn’t have sent a stupid letter to begin with. People like that should know what will happen to them if they do.

  57. KillerKitKat
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:10 PM | Permalink

    Mock! And looking forward to seeing you in London – will you be doing readings as well???

  58. Morgan
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:11 PM | Permalink

    Yes! Yes Mockery! I’ve missed it since you stopped writing for the Pointer, and the Guide can only sate mock hunger for so long.

  59. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:11 PM | Permalink

    Mock the $%#* out of him/her. Mock ’em so hard that they–well…er…you get the idea.

    Something cool:


    This is the kind of crazy-complicated picture (video?) I get in my head when I think of anyone performing Savien Traliard. Except, you know, with a vocal part, and less of the audience wearing Birkenstocks and smoking clove.

  60. Christopher
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:31 PM | Permalink

    If a fan writes you a letter than clearly they are hoping for a response.

    Carefully crafted sarcasm is a joy. You should share the joy.

  61. David
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:32 PM | Permalink


    Also, as someone who used to live in Rome, may I recommend for one of your nights for dinner going to a little place called Nuraghe Sardo. It’s up the hill from Piazze degli Eroi on Via Medaglie d’Oro, very near to the Cipro Metra station. It’s really some of the best and most authentic Roman cuisine you will find. I lived in Rome for a year and it’s a place that I think you would love eating at.

  62. Kathryn
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:33 PM | Permalink

    By all means, mock them. I think it’ll be hilarious and more than a little karma to that useless person.

  63. Dallas
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 2:56 PM | Permalink

    Ego inrideo ergo sum.

  64. Laurie Y
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:05 PM | Permalink

    I’m excited, one more step towards getting that big boy in my hands! Of course, I’ll have to fight my husband for it. He introduced me to The Name of the Wind last year and it’s now my favorate read!
    I’ve also been reading your blog over the last few days… I found it while searching for the release date of book 2.
    We’re currently stationed in England, so maybe we’ll make it to a book signing! Or if you’d like some freebee portraits of the two (err… three) of you, let me know!

  65. Laurie Y
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:06 PM | Permalink

    PS – I think it’s just asking to be mocked!

  66. locallyunscene
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:08 PM | Permalink

    I vote no mocking. Save it for someone who you can’t ignore as easily.

  67. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:13 PM | Permalink

    Congrats on getting the draft in! 6 hours of spellcheck – a hell of a dream date, I’ll bet! All while you’re trying to get the hell out of Dodge.

    Rome is a wonderful place – I go there once a year (my gf lives there, as did I back in the early 90s). Antiquities abound and they’re wonderful to see, but maybe hook up with a local and do the ‘living in Rome’ bit just for a day. Or, maybe head for the Amalfi Coast for a night.

    As for the mocking bit – would that be therapeutic for you? Cathartic? I say do what you feel and let the chips fall where they may.

  68. Inkcharm
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:36 PM | Permalink

    Damn, I want that manuscript. Can I volunteer to do spellcheck on the book 3 manuscript? *blinks in utter innocence*

    Congratulations on finishing that monster. Can’t wait to read it :o)

    Oh, and please, do the mocking. I believe as long as you keep the identity secret it’s fine. Anyone who writes you fanmail should have some semblence of what kind of person you are or what you do and do not appreciate in fanmail. So, yeah, I believe you have every right unleash your superpowers.


  69. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:41 PM | Permalink

    I vote for Nice Pat & Evil Pat – a response from each

  70. gregwak
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:46 PM | Permalink

    If someone feels they can tell you how to live your life then they leave the door wide open to a full salvo. Please blast away.

  71. Milamber310
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:52 PM | Permalink

    My vote – Mock away!

  72. Aleron
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 3:53 PM | Permalink

    <>Mock!<>and holy crap that’s a big manuscript.

    how many words is it? looks well over 300k to me

  73. Bryn
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:15 PM | Permalink

    Mock!! Though, only because us humans take perverse enjoyment out of the embarrassment/misery/stupidity of others. But I didn’t write the letter…
    Mock away! You can get away with it, just remind them it isn’t personal, it’s not them, it’s you.

    P.S. My parents did the whole Europe thing when I was a little unborn fetus as well… do you have any idea how irritating, annoying and most importantly BORING in a start clawing your ears off kind of way it was to hear the “Bryn’s been to Italy, France, England, Ireland! She was a world traveler before she was born! That means she is going to be a President or an Ambassador! “

    Don’t do that to your baby. Besides, the story only entertained soccer mom/PTA moms.

  74. Furious George
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:24 PM | Permalink

    There is a problem. Mocking him/her/it is mostly not constructive. It might help you deal with the sting of someone being wrong/ someone being right enough to make you reactionary. On the other hand this person is a jerk and ought to pay the consequence i.e. being the nameless villain of your online fanbase. I read your books, pat, in no small part for your wit and…well im not sure if charisma is the right word, but its the word that comes to mind. I want to read the mocking. Also, it’s hard to resist wanting to know secret information.

  75. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:29 PM | Permalink

    That thing is a behemoth! Can’t wait to read it. Have fun in Europe Pat.

  76. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:34 PM | Permalink

    You’re kind of a celebrity now. Celebrities attract crazy people. Crazy people come in all forms…from just wacky to downright dangerous. You don’t know what kind of crazy this person is. I would think ‘I have a big book and a baby on the way. I really don’t want some vengeful maniac bugging me because I mocked his stupid letter. Not worth even the slightest of risks.’ You could always post the letter without comment — seem to be enough smart asses on your blog to do the mocking on your behalf. Trust me, I will help out :)

  77. Pumpkinshell Erica
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:49 PM | Permalink

    let the mockery begin!!!

    I also hope you have a wonderful time in Scotland… I went on a whim last summer and was completely blown away by its awesomeness…..


  78. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:50 PM | Permalink

    First, let me just say that I’m sure Sarah loves you for more than the size of your manuscript, but it is awfully impressive!

    Ah, to mock or not to mock, that IS a conundrum. Hmmm, will mocking the letter/writer make others less likely to write letters in the future telling you how to live your life? Quite possibly yes, which makes it totally worth it. Also, if telling you how to live your life included references to Sarah and the new little one, they deserve to be spitted… none of their business what you do in your personal life. Especially at such a joyous time.

    On the other hand, anyone who wants to be mentioned on your blog may now start writing you holier-than-thou letters just to see themselves published on such an illustrious site. This would still have the benefit of being fun for us though.

    I’m going to have to swing my vote heartily towards MOCK, MOCK, MOCK. I do so love blistering sarcasm and it really would be cruel to withhold it from us at this point, with all of the anticipation you have created. I’m sure even those who voted the opposite are curious to see what some fan would have to say to you about living your life when it is obvious that you are already doing a fine job yourself.

    -Fry Mama

  79. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:52 PM | Permalink

    By all means, mock! Here’s how I see it:

    1) Email-writer has read The Name of the Wind.
    2) Therefore, email-writer cannot claim ignorance about your nature.
    3) Email-writer was aware of the risk of mocking and has accordingly invited said mocking upon his head.

  80. n810e
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:53 PM | Permalink

    Like most everyone else, my vote is for mocking. Mocking is society’s way of telling someone they’re a dumbass. If you don’t mock, said dumbass might just think you agree with him.

  81. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 4:54 PM | Permalink

    Mock it! Mock it! Make it squeal like the dying little piggy that it is!

  82. Dixie
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 5:08 PM | Permalink

    Mock. How else are your antisocial fans going to learn how not to live their lives?

    Then again, Neil Gaiman only ever gently mocks some of the truly ridiculous stuff he gets. If you take the moral high ground, you’ll have a little company. (I personally live my life by asking myself, What Would Picard Do? And if I can’t divine the answer, I go with What Would Neil Do? That takes care of most dilemmas.)

  83. Amanda
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 5:12 PM | Permalink

    Absolutely mock…

    And holy buckets that manuscript. I hope the book comes out that big, cause I need some heavy Kingkiller Chronicles medication to help me wait for book 3 while you’re all being a parent and such.

    Enjoy your world tour, and keep us updated :)

  84. Nate
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 5:24 PM | Permalink

    Remember Pat, that with great power comes great responsibility…

    Therefor I say you should wear a superhero costume during the process of mocking him.

    … it’ll make us all feel better

  85. Shulynn
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 5:27 PM | Permalink

    Mock I say!! The person who sent you this apparent rubbish set themselves for a mocking. Therefore it would be a waste not to use your mocking talents to the best of your abilities.

  86. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 5:41 PM | Permalink

    Now that I made this huge effort to post this anonymous message saying that you should mock, I think you are obligated to do it.

    Ps I love your blog, your funny as hell.
    Pss In case your wondering, I also love your book, not just your blog.

  87. stormseaker
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 5:50 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat!

    When in doubt; mock.

    It’s how I live my life!

    (Sorry couldn’t help it, I am a slave to my sense of humor.)

  88. John
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:22 PM | Permalink

    Guns blazing mockery. Any kook that feels compelled to tell an author who has created such a unique vision how to do anything deserves the gas face. Fire away.

  89. Casseopia
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:28 PM | Permalink

    Yay for manuscript! That made my day!

    Don’t deny who you are, Pat. Mock him or it will eat at you and you’ll snap mock people who don’t deserve it, like Sarah or the baby. For their mental well being, Mock.

  90. Steamkettle Parent
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:32 PM | Permalink

    Really? Would ya even wanna know yourself if you didn’t mock. Look inside and answer the question. And thanks for the second book; I wait with patience and reverence dear sir.

  91. Ray
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:37 PM | Permalink

    Kvothe would mock and do it to a tune. Mock!

  92. Carolyn
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 6:46 PM | Permalink

    That manuscript is a thing of beauty.

    Also, by all means, mock.

  93. Florian
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:01 PM | Permalink

    MOCK,MOCK,MOCK! (DrumsDrumsDrums)
    Seriously Pat you are my everlasting well of Joy with your mockering. YOu can mock those people i have to be nice and friendly too, and there are way to many clueless, controling, passive-agressive fucker who get their way, because noone iss howing them how stupid and the things tey say are.
    SO let there be MOCKING TIME
    ’nuff said.

  94. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:19 PM | Permalink

    faster, pussycat – kill! kill!

  95. Gugala
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:20 PM | Permalink

    Congratulations on finishing the manuscript. Seeing as you’re an author, it must be quite an accomplishment to actually do your job some days.

    I guess that’s my way of saying, feel free to mock as much as you want.

    Looking forward to Book 2; enjoy the British accent while you can.

  96. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:21 PM | Permalink


    Mocking=makes my day. I think You and George RR Martin should collaberate on a letter mocking combined blog.

    Also Assholes are assholes. Mock, but dont be cruel.

  97. Phil
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:22 PM | Permalink

    Mock it up, Mocky Mockerson.
    Release the beast.

  98. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:27 PM | Permalink

    Wow, you and Joe Abercrombie will miss each other by a week at the Manchester Waterstones. Lucky Manchester people…

  99. Anonymous
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:46 PM | Permalink

    Well, for those of us who lack the awesome powers of sarcasm and belittlement that have clearly been bestowed upon you, we thrive on watching a master do his worst… it allows us to feel as though that which we wish to say, but cannot convey adequately with our meager abilities, is said. And that makes us happy. Especially when we get to watch!

  100. Alicia
    Posted May 12, 2009 at 7:50 PM | Permalink

    I would be honoured to stand out in the slavering hoardes for long enough for you to mock me. So yeah, I’m with the slavering hoardes on this one. MOCK!


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