Tag Archives: appearances

Back From the Convention….

Despite all my careful preparations, airport security flagged me down and tossed my bags the same as they always do. This time the dangerous materials were.

1. A half-full container of vanilla extract.
2. Two of those little Vaseline lip balm things. (Cherry flavor.)
3. And a small container of superglue.

They graciously left me the lip balm, but made me put it in a little baggie first. Apparently putting something in a little baggie prevents it from being used for terrorism. The vanilla they made me throw away, which was a pisser because it was really good vanilla.

But apparently the possession of superglue was such an egregious offense that they not only confiscated it, but took down all my personal information from my driver’s license. Lovely, as if my government file needed more material.

So I pretty much give up trying to make them happy. Next time I’m going to go through security with a fucking chainsaw and jar of live wasps just so they have a legitimate reason to put my name in the book.

The convention itself was pretty fun. If you’ve been to these sort of cons before, you can probably imagine it pretty well. Lots of geeks of various creeds and nations, all free to be themselves for the weekend. I myself register at 50% writer geek, 20% gamer geek, 10 % comic geek, 5% anime geek.

A good time was had by all. There were girls in cat-ears and corsets, guys wearing cloaks and swords. There were also guys in corsets and girls with swords. It was a pretty non-judgmental atmosphere, which, honestly, I think is the thing that I like best about cons. Everyone is pretty much free to do their own thing and nobody’s going to raise too much of an eyebrow at you. In fact, the farther away from the norm you go, the more likely people are to be impressed.

But by far the coolest costume I saw was this….

When I first saw them walking down the hall, I started laughing and couldn’t stop. They’re the yipyip aliens from Sesame Street. For those of you whose childhood was lacking, here’s something to bring you up to speed:

I also discovered that I love speaking on panels. I love it. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to do more of that in the future.

I returned home on Monday to over 600 emails. So if you’ve written me and I haven’t replied yet, I plead for patience.

Later,

pat

Posted in appearances, conventions, Tales from the Con | By PatLeave a comment

I’m off to Norwescon.

In about four hours I’ll be heading out to Seattle for Norwescon. It’s the first con I’ve ever recieved a pro-invite to, and the first con I’ve attended as a professional.

I’m sure it’s going to be fun. I’m on a few panels, and I REALLY enjoy being on panels talking about writing. I’m also doing a couple signings and and a radio interview. Cool stuff.

But I hate getting ready for these things, packing and making the travel arrangements. And I hate to fly.

I’m not afraid of flying. Well, okay I am, mildly. Any sensible person is. But the real reason I hate to fly is because security always identifies me as requiring some sort of special attention. They scan me, pat me down, toss my luggage. Every. Single. Time.

I don’t know why. Maybe it’s my trenchcoat. Maybe it’s my beard. Maybe it’s because whenever I fly it’s at the ass crack of morning, so I have to wake up seven hours earlier than I like to, ane I look like a zombie or a meth addict.

So this time around, I’m planning on beating the system. First, I’m not going to go to sleep at all tonight, I’m going to stay up until 4:30 in the morning, then drive to the airport.

Second, I decided to toss my backpack and travelsack to remove anything suspicious that might draw attention from the Man.

It’s been a while since I cleaned these out, so I discover:

Laser pointer should stay at home. I could… I dunno… blind someone with it. I’m not being twitchy here. Last time I went through security, they pulled a rock out of my bag and asked me what it was.

“A rock,” I said. “It’s a cool rock.”

The woman gave me a look, then took the rock to show her supervisor. The real reason I wanted to keep the rock is because the rock had a line all he way through it, and I had a suspicion that it would protect me from fairies. Maybe they would have been less suspicious if I’d given them the full explaination…..

So yeah. If a rock throws up a red flag, I’m guessing that a laser is probably right out.

I pulled they keys out of my bag too. I have a vague suspicion this isn’t something a normal person carries. I can imagine a conversation similar to the one with the rock. “What are these?” “They’re cool old keys.” Why do you have them?” “In case I find a cool old door I want to try to open.”

Fine. Keys stay home too. If I find any cool old doors out in Seattle, I’m going to be pissed.

My Incredible Hulk valentines. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought these, but they certainly don’t fit into the well-ballanced persona I’m hoping to convey.

Same for the garden gnome and the jar of cloves. I honestly can’t remember why I thought it was a good idea to have cloves with me.

Yeah. This thing is right out. I don’t even want to think about what it would look like in that x-ray machine. (It’s a backrub tool I got as a gift. Honest.)

Damn. I’d completely forgotten that I had my ninja stars in the bottom of my bag. I took them over to a friend’s house a couple weeks ago and then spaced out about them. I guess this pre-flight bag search has just paid for itself. Especially considering the last thing I found….

Like everything else here, this is innocent, it just looks criminal. It’s a vial of caffiene. But I’m guessing the security people aren’t going to be real interested in giving me the benefit of the doubt.

Alright folks. I’m off to re-pack my bags. I’m going to be out of contact for a couple days, but early next week I’ll be back, hopefully with some interesting stories from the con.

pat

Posted in appearances, conventions | By Pat17 Responses
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