Tag Archives: conventions

I’m off to Norwescon.

In about four hours I’ll be heading out to Seattle for Norwescon. It’s the first con I’ve ever recieved a pro-invite to, and the first con I’ve attended as a professional.

I’m sure it’s going to be fun. I’m on a few panels, and I REALLY enjoy being on panels talking about writing. I’m also doing a couple signings and and a radio interview. Cool stuff.

But I hate getting ready for these things, packing and making the travel arrangements. And I hate to fly.

I’m not afraid of flying. Well, okay I am, mildly. Any sensible person is. But the real reason I hate to fly is because security always identifies me as requiring some sort of special attention. They scan me, pat me down, toss my luggage. Every. Single. Time.

I don’t know why. Maybe it’s my trenchcoat. Maybe it’s my beard. Maybe it’s because whenever I fly it’s at the ass crack of morning, so I have to wake up seven hours earlier than I like to, ane I look like a zombie or a meth addict.

So this time around, I’m planning on beating the system. First, I’m not going to go to sleep at all tonight, I’m going to stay up until 4:30 in the morning, then drive to the airport.

Second, I decided to toss my backpack and travelsack to remove anything suspicious that might draw attention from the Man.

It’s been a while since I cleaned these out, so I discover:

Laser pointer should stay at home. I could… I dunno… blind someone with it. I’m not being twitchy here. Last time I went through security, they pulled a rock out of my bag and asked me what it was.

“A rock,” I said. “It’s a cool rock.”

The woman gave me a look, then took the rock to show her supervisor. The real reason I wanted to keep the rock is because the rock had a line all he way through it, and I had a suspicion that it would protect me from fairies. Maybe they would have been less suspicious if I’d given them the full explaination…..

So yeah. If a rock throws up a red flag, I’m guessing that a laser is probably right out.

I pulled they keys out of my bag too. I have a vague suspicion this isn’t something a normal person carries. I can imagine a conversation similar to the one with the rock. “What are these?” “They’re cool old keys.” Why do you have them?” “In case I find a cool old door I want to try to open.”

Fine. Keys stay home too. If I find any cool old doors out in Seattle, I’m going to be pissed.

My Incredible Hulk valentines. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought these, but they certainly don’t fit into the well-ballanced persona I’m hoping to convey.

Same for the garden gnome and the jar of cloves. I honestly can’t remember why I thought it was a good idea to have cloves with me.

Yeah. This thing is right out. I don’t even want to think about what it would look like in that x-ray machine. (It’s a backrub tool I got as a gift. Honest.)

Damn. I’d completely forgotten that I had my ninja stars in the bottom of my bag. I took them over to a friend’s house a couple weeks ago and then spaced out about them. I guess this pre-flight bag search has just paid for itself. Especially considering the last thing I found….

Like everything else here, this is innocent, it just looks criminal. It’s a vial of caffiene. But I’m guessing the security people aren’t going to be real interested in giving me the benefit of the doubt.

Alright folks. I’m off to re-pack my bags. I’m going to be out of contact for a couple days, but early next week I’ll be back, hopefully with some interesting stories from the con.

pat

Posted in appearances, conventions | By Pat17 Responses
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