Tag Archives: Genitals

Father’s Day

It was a good weekend. On Saturday Sarah, Oot, and I drove down to Madison to celebrate Father’s Day. We hung out with my Dad, my aunt, my sister, and her boyfriend.

It may not seem like many people to you, but I don’t have much family. For my side of the family, this is a pretty big gathering.

My dad grilled and my sister and her boyfriend cooked. I removed the lids on the various types of side dishes that I’d lovingly bought from the store. We ate brats and pasta salad and hung out on the deck. We tried to fly a kite and utterly failed.

Oot was in fine form, and charmed everyone with his ability to cram food clumsily into his craw, speak broken English, and walk around without hardly falling over at all. Seriously. He’s like a little rockstar.

It was a great day. My father summed it up best when he said, “Good weather, good food, nudity, and kite flying. What more could you want in a party?”

Today (Sunday) was more low-key. I slept late, and when I got up I learned that Sarah had been coaching Oot to say, “Happy Father’s Day!” He did this with great enthusiasm. Over and over. All day.

But you know what? It never got old.

In fact, when we got back from dinner tonight, I grabbed a little video of it.

You know what? I think this is the first video that I’ve ever uploaded. Look at me striding boldly into the year 2007.

After this touching moment, Oot began to say, “Humdyfal!” over and over. It only took me about 30 seconds to figure him out. You have to do a lot of interpreting with kids this young. They’re not really good with words, yet.

He was saying, “Humpty Fall.” He wanted to hear about Humpty Dumpty.

So I picked up one of his nearby toys. If I call it a plush toy you’ll get the wrong impression. It’s a turtle packed tight with some kind of beans. It’s the size of a round loaf of bread. It’s about as plush as a sandbag and it weighs more than hardcover of my second book.

I put it on my knee and said, “Humpty Dumpty sat on the….”

“Wall!” Oot finished.

“Humpty Dumpty had a great….” I pushed the turtle off my knee and it hit the ground hard. It sounded like someone dropping a heavy workboot onto the floor.

“Fall!” Oot shouted excitedly.

Then he picked up the turtle with both hands and affectionately smashed it into my nuts.

I made the sort of noise you make when you’re trying not to roar and scare the hell out of your kid. Sarah laughed. Then looked guilty about laughing. Then laughed again.

“Fall!” Oot said.

I removed the turtle and put a protective hand over my groin. It took a moment, but eventually I figured out what he was trying to say. You have to do a lot of interpretation with someone this young. There’s a lot of reading in between the lines.

After about a minute or so, I realized Oot was making it clear that he respected the vasty strength of my generative organs. He was trying to indicate that he understood where he’d come from, that he knew exactly whose godlike loins had helped bring him into this world. He was trying to say….

“Happy Father’s Day!” he said, throwing his hands into the air.

Yes. Exactly that.

Happy Father’s Day.

pat

Posted in Oot, videos | By Pat54 Responses
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