Normally when I write a blog, I try to make it something that can appeal to a wide audience. Something that it’s worth your time to read no matter who you are.
For example, if I answer a piece of fanmail asking for writing advice, I try to make the blog entertaining even if you’re not an aspiring writer. I make jokes, arcane references, and interesting word usements.
So today, I’m sorry. Because this blog is really just for one person. That’s something I don’t ordinarily do.
Here’s the story:
A couple months ago, a reader sent me a piece of mail. They’re in a high-school senior, and they invited me, in a very polite, n0-pressure way to their graduation party.
It was a lovely letter. And it was a very charming and genteel request. So I thought to myself, “What the hell, if I’m not doing anything that day, maybe I will stop out.”
Then it turned out that I was free that day, (This Monday, Memorial day.) What’s more, I was going to be driving from Madison to Stevens Point that evening. And their hometown was right on my way home….
So I decided I’d stop by and surprise them.
Here’s the problem:
Two days ago when I went looking for the letter they sent, I couldn’t find it. I remember putting it somewhere safe so I wouldn’t lose it. And I can only assume that it’s still there, too safe for me to find it.
I never contacted them, because I wanted it to be a surprise. Also, I didn’t want them to be disappointed if I couldn’t make it.
That means I don’t have any record of their name, the address, or time of the graduation party. I can’t even remember the name of their hometown. I just remember that it was somewhere in south-central Wisconsin.
So here’s what I’m hoping.
That you, that one particular reader, happen to read this blog in time, and drop me a line letting me know when and where your party is. Barring that, maybe one of your friends might read this blog and think to themselves, “Mandy is a big Rothfuss fan, and we live in the right area, maybe they’re the one that blog is about…” Then they’ll tell you to get in contact with me.
(Mandy isn’t the name, mind you. Like I said, I can’t remember the name.)
I realize it’s kind of a vain hope, but I just can’t find the letter.
Here’s what I don’t want:
Now this is the big thing. I don’t want a hundred people to e-mail me asking if I’ll come to their graduations, keggers, bat mitzvas, ritual scarifications, handfastings, whatever.
I really don’t want this. I am specifically asking you n0t to do this. Not in the comments below, not in an e-mail to me. Seriously. Don’t wheedle and bribe and beg at me.
The reason is this, I just can’t go to everyone’s party. So if I have to slog through 30 of those e-mails, I’ll feel guilty as well as put upon and clawed at. And that bad feeling will shit on my day and completely negate any good feeling I’d get out of stopping by the party I’m actually hoping to swing through.
I’m trusting y’all to be cool about this. This is a test, in a way. I’m betting that y’all are polite, civilized people. Please don’t let me down.
Also, please don’t e-mail me with wild speculations as to who it might be. If you think it might be your friend, please e-mail them, not me.
Lastly, (and I hope this goes without saying) but don’t pretend to be the person who sent me the letter if you’re not. The letter had a few distinguishing features, so I’ll find out after a quick e-mail exchange. When that happens, not only will you be on my eternal shit list, but my faith in humanity will be damaged. I’m trying to keep that faith undamaged for at least another year or two….
So for that one reader out there: how about it? Is there a chance in hell that you might check my blog the day before your graduation party?
For the rest of you, I hope you have a lovely memorial day.
With love,
pat
P.S. If you’re in the Madison Area, I’m doing a reading/signing at Room of One’s Own at 2:30 today. Feel free to swing by….
101 Comments
Ok, how about if I can come to YOUR next party? Yeah…didn’t see that one coming…lol, good luck, take pictures if you make it to her shindig!
Haha, good one.
keep the faith I knew there was a reason I liked you beyond that wonderful beard and that fantastic book you will find her
Nothing is nicer than laughin loudly at your laptop on a busy train. the crazy looks are worth it. I recomend you try it sometime. x
i know you dont want it but:
would you mind to come to my graduate party in June 2011 in Germany ? xD
I’ve lost count of the number of things that I put away for safe keeping and never found again. Hope she hears from you in time, that’ll be special. =)
Sorry, but I’m a guy and I graduated two years ago, technically. If you branded all your fans, Patrick, then we could go on a witch-hunt and find here and um…yeah. Keep looking folks.
That would be so cool! Well, maybe not branding, but Patrick could have this little symbol and we could all wear it to identify ourselves as fans.
Someone needs to do this.
Sorry, also can’t help. I’m Australian and a 3rd year english student.
Best of luck though xx
Oh Pat, I wish you the very best of luck! I really hope that you and she find each other in time, because I just know that would make her year!
You know the way things work regarding too-well hidden items? They always turn up exactly one day after you needed them!
Once when I was a teenager I hid my wallet, so that my cousin would not be able to steal it while visiting. After he left, my wallet was gone, so I cursed him as a thief for about 18 months. Eventually stumbling across my hidden wallet and having a flashback of hiding it there, I was laughing, memory is a funny thing!
The mind of most intelligent people is a labyrinth of cognitive passageways. What seems perfectly reasonable one day is lost forever the next.
I wish you the best of luck in finding your party Mr. Rothfuss. I also mourn with you the loss of your surprise. That would have been a pretty sweet surprise, and I feel as though you’re the sort of person that appreciates such things.
Well put! (:
(But D: that you can’t find the letter Pat.)
Awwww, I hope you find it/hear from her.
If it worked out it would be so utterly amazing for her (and also for you as the amazing famous guest of honor, etc etc)
Make sure to tell us if it works out so we can have that nice picture in our heads as an actuality rather than a potentiality.
awesome pat
Hey,
That’s a super awesome deed you’re planning… Hope that safe place is found in time…and I know it’s all catholic-y and what not but St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost things, in whom my mother has a ridiculous amount of faith…So in aid of the super awesome deed, I’ll give it a try… What could it hurt?
Best of luck to you…
Check the top of the refrigerator. Lost items are ALWAYS on top of the refrigerator.
or the third kitchen drawer
Oh, the price of fame…did you EVER think you would have to post so many caveats and addendums after publishing a book? Every little thing becomes a circus with such a public life.
I am soo jealous!
That’s pretty badass of you to consider stopping by and even more badass to make a post once you realized you lost the letter.
I guess there is a reason to live in Wisconsin after all.
We have the best cows. And badgers. I literally and in all truthfulness have a genuine Wisconsin badger living in the hillside by my house. I like him a lot, but he tends to act kind wary and standoffish toward me.
should read “kind of wary…”
Also, if you like snow, this is THE place to be. Just saying, between the cows, badgers, deer and snow, you pretty much can’t find a cooler place to live. Oh, and bonus points for Pat living here.
i’d like t move there but ilike georgia summers even if they r annoyingly hot besides i doubt my parents would let me decide where to live
This is such an awesome thing to do. If this works out, it’s going to make her decade. My fingers are crossed for you two!
Sounds like a game Kvothe would play by splitting his mind into two parts and then hiding something. Maybe if you could split your mind you could remember it Pat. ;)
Best of luck, you’re a badass with a heart of gold.
I absolutely LOVE how you phrase things. You should honestly get into politics cuz I would vote for you over half the idiots in there. Good luck on the search, and as always…. very well done.
Only half?
course politics would rot your soul and soon you’d be another Newt Gingrich. :P
I’d still vote for him.
You could hypnotize yourself and remember where you put the letter…
Just when I’ve convinced myself that the world has gone to hell and left the hand basket behind, someone does something splendid.
I do hope you find that letter. Because this small gesture from you will quite likely make this young lady’s entire year.
Hooray for our hero!
Shall we slap you in some spandex and buy you a cape? :)
Please let us know how it all turns out. This is a really cool story.
Hey Pat, that would be super wicked if you could show up for the young lady in question. Wish my favourite author could have done that for me in high school. Mind you, Prof Tolkien would have been dead for 21 years at that stage…still I would have been popular at last !
Anyone would be popular if they got Zombie Tolkien to come to their Graduation!
I’m keeping my fingers crossed she finds this and emails you right away.
Try checking your diaper/baby-to-go bag. Everyone I know with babies sticks important stuff in there and promptly forgets about it for a few weeks.
Is usement a word?
It’s a perfectly cromulent word.
cromulent?!
I guess, it’d be no loss to throw out my ‘Big Student’s English-Dictionary’. Just hanging out on your blog will be much more effective… ^_-
thanks and good luck to you
Mr. Rothfuss, your clever word usement has embiggened the vocabulary area of my brain. Thank you!
Thank you Katalyst. Such a perfect reference to the Simpsons should not go overlooked. Kudos to you Pat.
Stop wallowing in your own crepulance :p
Wow sooo sorry….. crapulence.
Pff, if you want to use SLANG…damn kids and their jibber jabbers…
Best of luck finding her and the invitation. I have this habit of finding things I’ve put away for safe keeping only when I move out of a room. Like at the end of the school year or when my brother took over my room when I left for college.
Since I graduated overseas on an American military base the school put on their own grad party. They were worried that we would go out to the local bars and make wonderful drunken mistakes since the drinking age was 16. In order to entice us away from such revelry they gave away almost $1000 in cash prizes at the school-sponsored party…which everyone spent the next weekend getting drunk off-post =)
Good luck on your quest Most Awesome Mr. Rothfus, and may you find the mysterious graduate you seek!
It would be interesting to know if you ever connect with this fan. Let us know if you don’t mind.
Oh you and losing letters, and addresses… sigh. :P I hope you haven’t lost mine.
I’m sure its somewhere under that pile of letters you have… after all, who doesn’t put their name and contact information at the bottom of an invitation. Good luck on your search, she will be very excited once you find it and show up. You give the best hugs :D
L Yost
P.S. Working on another letter for you ;-)
Patrick,
I’m literally stuck in the middle of nowhere surrounded by glaciers everywhere in Norway for literally ten hours. It may be beautiful here, but I’m honestly going insane. The town I’m in isn’t really a town, it’s just the train station with a couple buildings and a hotel that’s nice enough to let me use their internet. This town is so small that it’s closing down for a couple months as of tomorrow, there’s absolutely no way out of here until the next train that I’ve been waiting for for about five hours now. All of this because the tourist guide I was using fucked up and told me to get off at the wrong train station. I think I’m going insane and I want to jump off a glacier.
What I’m trying to get at is at least you’re not in my predicament.
Good luck in finding her.
PS: Never get stuck here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Finse_trainstation_Norway.jpg
Once again you show yourself to be one of the coolest authors around. Great book, awesome blog entries, and now you are going to see a random fan. I wont ask how cool that is because last time you spent a lot of time figuring that out. So I’ll tell you, It’s awesome. Good Luck!
Promise you’ll tell us the story if you get her address in time. Please?
I promise…
I guess since we have not heard about it sadly you were not able to make it.
This puts you even higher on my non-shit list, restores even more my faith in humanity, and, well, makes my day.
Very cool of you to consider going! Hopefully the letter turns up or she checks in on the blog! Anyone fangirlish enough to send you a letter has to keep up on the blog, right?
Wouldn’t it be cool if her name really is Mandy?
Places you might try to check (in addition to the top of the fridge and the diaper bag):
– recycling bin
– the junk drawer (we all have one, don’t we? that collects everything?)
– the place where you keep your to-do list for WMF, if you work from a hard copy
– the drawer/folder/pile for bills
– your backpack. (judging from a previous post it sounds like it doesn’t get a regular cleaning, despite containing treasures)
– the car floor, glove compartment, place where you keep maps
– briefcase or man-purse or whatever you use, if you have something in addition to the backpack
I can’t think of any other good ones. I would come and look around if I could. Good luck!
Oh, do you by chance have a place where you keep favorite fan letters? (I would, for reference on my lower days.) Might be there. . .?
Love the idea of this. What a fantastic thing to do for a graduate. Best of luck in finding the letter or the person.
Why don’t you try throwing everything you can find around. I find that often times my stuff can only be found through a self-induced violent outbreak on all of my non-worldly possessions.
Thank you Pat for being the one sparkling moment in my otherwise horrid day. I hope you do find her. I would offer to help, but I doubt she is running around Toronto.
Hey pat! i think is awesome that you are doing this! hope she gets the message in time! and also have fun! :D
Best of luck getting to her party, i hope that she either sees your post or you find the letter. would make for a bad day if she saw your blog on Tuesday hehe.
Reason #48 why Pat is even cooler than his own beard.
And that is one cool beard. A beard to end all beards…
i saw a beard that might match pats beard. maybe, possibly, it helped that he was short though and had a cool accent
oh and was collecting money 4 a childrens charity
Pat,
I hope you know what a generous and thoughtful author/person you are. There are a lot of author web pages and blogs out there, but your blog always feels like I’m checking in with a friend.
I know a lot of people want to get next to you for whatever reasons, I would just like to thank you for being the person, and author, that you are. I am looking forward to March, 2011.
Cheers,
Jules
[in reference to doublenerds] Or, if you have a desk with one of those nifty pen, paper clip, scissors staplers, etc. holders in it then it is probably underneath there. At least that’s where I would put it. There or in my filing cabinet under “letter from a really nice girl that wants me to go to her party”
Prediction: Mandy is not going to find this post in time. She is going to find out the day after her graduation party and there will be much weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. She will be so distraught over missing out on partying with her favorite fantasy author that you’re eventually going to have to end up going to her college graduation party just to talk her down from the ledge. Get ready to drink beer out of a plastic cup!
Thanks for raining on everyones parade……
She’s IN a high school senior?!? Obviously she’s a sexual deviant/fetus, avoid at all costs.
Very cool thing to do…good luck!
Good luck! I’d help, but I’m stuck on an island floating off the west of Europe. Little place called England…you know, well known for football and some old woman with her mug on the coins. I don’t think “Mandy” is here…
i don’t have time to read all of the responses.
(i’m preparing my domicile for a party of my own)
but please let me know if the girl responded.
it’s a way cool thing to do, Pat.
good luck.
You are such an awesome guy Mister Pat, that you’d even think of doing something like this is yet more testament to that [as if it were needed]. I hope with all my gooey, fluffy heart that you get the reply you’re looking for, and make her day!
We’ve got our fingers crossed for your Pat.
Come on Universe!
Gosh-darn. “….fingers crossed for you”*
Psssst, Pat….first place you should always check is all those hidden pockets in your favourite tarvelling cloak, not onlywill you find the letter but you’ll probably be about seven bucks better off !
Hope you find her brother, and just so I can add to the places she is not…I looked all around South Africa but couldn’t see her. X-ray vision isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…..sigh….
err…travelling cloak that is…
X-ray vision in South Africa? Hehe that could totally come in handy!
The time it took you to right this you could have been looking for the letter.
Or is the some elaborate excuse to turn her down without really turning her down?
dont be so drowl we arent all as jaded as that sometimes the best way to find a thing is to not think so hard about a thing try it some time it does work
If you’re referring to the blog post, I think you mean ‘write’. Unless you’re talking about some wrong Patrick has corrected?
Excellent observation.
To everyone who says, “just find the letter, duh!” he probably has a stack of a couple thousand letters. As he doesn’t remember her name, he’d have to read through every letter, only discarding those written by men. Also, she probably spent most of the letter praising him, mentioning the party in passing, so he’d have to read to the END of each letter. He could easily waste 8 hours doing this, which he could use to drive to her house, play WoW with her for 6 hours and drive back. It’s just not worth it to sift through all those letters, possibly in vain. Easier just to write a blog post in fifteen minutes and spend the rest of the time, you know, living his life.
I’m guessing you lived a miserable life and no one ever did anything for you. What other reason do you have for being so full of buncombe.
Hrm, RemoE’s post seemed perfectly reasonable to me. He was just trying to offer an explanation for why it might be a major task for Pat to hunt down the letter. Are you sure you both the post completely and/or applied reading comprehension skills to it?
Have you heard anything yet Pat?
Keep us updated, yeah?
(:
Haha it happens all the time, eh?! I always put something in a completely reasonable, safe place, so I DON’T forget where I put it. Then I end up forgetting that place! Don’t worry about it, it happens to the best of us! I think it is a great idea to go to her party, I hope it worked out. Send us a picture if you ended up at the party.
TinTin
UPDATE, Mr. Fussy!
Did you find her info or someone sent it to you and you made it on time?! (This still hasn’t restored my faith in humanity as I never gave a crap about this particular species in the first place, but, that aside, it’s a very nice gesture).
First, I must agree with all of the above who are saying that this totally made my day!!
Please, please, please let us know what happened??
I keep coming back to check if there’s been an update. I’m dying of curiousity!!
Happy Day, Pat!!
As odd as this is going to sound, the two places I ALWAYS put important things, so that I don’t forget where they are, but always forget where they are, can usually be found in my address book/ daily planner, or in with my socks.
(you can also have a look at school registers (names of the schools in the state)… that my help with your memory as to where this lucky girl can be found, and you can be a creepy old man and facebook stock her!)
Good Luck!
So now I’m wondering how it all worked out… hopefully you have time to tell us sometime soon. Awfully nice of you to give it a try, in any case.
Do you know what really sucks? Well I’ll tell you. Now that you made this post if you were not able to make it, you will have to make it up to her. Otherwise, it’s going to nag at you like fiend crouched on your should for the rest of your God-forsaken life…
With Love,
Sam
[Offtopic] Hmm… I’m not sure, but I think so…
Happy birthday? ^^
Happy Birthday!
A Quick Request For Help:
Ok, I’ve created an account specifically so I can remind you that you said “I promise…” to update us about how it all worked out. You sucked me right in to this crazy scheme and now I can’t stop checking for updates. For 9 days now I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even shit. Please save me from this terrible torment!
Thanks Pat. You’re the best
Patrick promised to “…tell us the story if you get her address in time”. Since we’ve heard no story, I’m assuming that he didn’t get the address in time.
-J
Ahhh…..I guess technically you are correct. I was interpreting it to mean an update either way. I guess you’re probably right.
Unfortunately the sickness is even greater now that I made that post. I’ve upped the checking for updates twofold. Work is suffering:)
Neds moar lesbian unicorns and candy underthings…