Normally when I write a blog, I try to make it something that can appeal to a wide audience. Something that it’s worth your time to read no matter who you are.
For example, if I answer a piece of fanmail asking for writing advice, I try to make the blog entertaining even if you’re not an aspiring writer. I make jokes, arcane references, and interesting word usements.
So today, I’m sorry. Because this blog is really just for one person. That’s something I don’t ordinarily do.
Here’s the story:
A couple months ago, a reader sent me a piece of mail. They’re in a high-school senior, and they invited me, in a very polite, n0-pressure way to their graduation party.
It was a lovely letter. And it was a very charming and genteel request. So I thought to myself, “What the hell, if I’m not doing anything that day, maybe I will stop out.”
Then it turned out that I was free that day, (This Monday, Memorial day.) What’s more, I was going to be driving from Madison to Stevens Point that evening. And their hometown was right on my way home….
So I decided I’d stop by and surprise them.
Here’s the problem:
Two days ago when I went looking for the letter they sent, I couldn’t find it. I remember putting it somewhere safe so I wouldn’t lose it. And I can only assume that it’s still there, too safe for me to find it.
I never contacted them, because I wanted it to be a surprise. Also, I didn’t want them to be disappointed if I couldn’t make it.
That means I don’t have any record of their name, the address, or time of the graduation party. I can’t even remember the name of their hometown. I just remember that it was somewhere in south-central Wisconsin.
So here’s what I’m hoping.
That you, that one particular reader, happen to read this blog in time, and drop me a line letting me know when and where your party is. Barring that, maybe one of your friends might read this blog and think to themselves, “Mandy is a big Rothfuss fan, and we live in the right area, maybe they’re the one that blog is about…” Then they’ll tell you to get in contact with me.
(Mandy isn’t the name, mind you. Like I said, I can’t remember the name.)
I realize it’s kind of a vain hope, but I just can’t find the letter.
Here’s what I don’t want:
Now this is the big thing. I don’t want a hundred people to e-mail me asking if I’ll come to their graduations, keggers, bat mitzvas, ritual scarifications, handfastings, whatever.
I really don’t want this. I am specifically asking you n0t to do this. Not in the comments below, not in an e-mail to me. Seriously. Don’t wheedle and bribe and beg at me.
The reason is this, I just can’t go to everyone’s party. So if I have to slog through 30 of those e-mails, I’ll feel guilty as well as put upon and clawed at. And that bad feeling will shit on my day and completely negate any good feeling I’d get out of stopping by the party I’m actually hoping to swing through.
I’m trusting y’all to be cool about this. This is a test, in a way. I’m betting that y’all are polite, civilized people. Please don’t let me down.
Also, please don’t e-mail me with wild speculations as to who it might be. If you think it might be your friend, please e-mail them, not me.
Lastly, (and I hope this goes without saying) but don’t pretend to be the person who sent me the letter if you’re not. The letter had a few distinguishing features, so I’ll find out after a quick e-mail exchange. When that happens, not only will you be on my eternal shit list, but my faith in humanity will be damaged. I’m trying to keep that faith undamaged for at least another year or two….
So for that one reader out there: how about it? Is there a chance in hell that you might check my blog the day before your graduation party?
For the rest of you, I hope you have a lovely memorial day.
With love,
pat
P.S. If you’re in the Madison Area, I’m doing a reading/signing at Room of One’s Own at 2:30 today. Feel free to swing by….
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