3 – 2 – 1 Contract

So for the last couple months we’ve been selling the foreign rights to the book. And by “we” I mean my agent and his compatriots. My contribution usually amounts to listening to the offer, then asking, “Is it a good offer?” They explain to me why it is, in fact, a good offer. Then I say, “Okay, let’s do it.” Yet another example of why it’s so important to have an agent you can trust.

More recently, the contracts have been coming in. It’s a new and exciting world of me not really knowing what the hell I’m doing. You know those reading comprehension tests you took back in high school where you had to read a passage and then answer a question? These contracts are like that, except instead of a low SAT score, I’m worried if I don’t pay attention someone will slide in some a clause that gives them the legal right to one of my testicles or something.

This is the most recent contract to show up, the Russian one….

I’m not exactly sure what they use for money over there. Rupees or something like that. Regular money would be nice so I could pay off my credit card debt, but once these contracts go through, I’ll be able to buy a better shield and stock up on arrows. If I have enough left over after I’m done with that, I might buy a blue potion, too. Just to be safe….

Later all,


This entry was posted in foreign happeningsBy Pat11 Responses


  1. Danny
    Posted May 12, 2007 at 5:38 PM | Permalink

    I’ve always found it a little weird when books are translated in to one language or another, especially when a big part of that book is the actual writing style. When I watch movies in, say, Spanish, with English subtitles, I find myself disagreeing with the English translation they’ve made. Like, if I were in charge, I would have chosen a different English word. That’s just because I speak Spanish, though. If it was Russian or something, I’d have no idea that the translation I’m reading actually isn’t the kind of translation I’d be writing. That means if someone’s reading the translation and they decide it’s junk or something, you never really know if it’s your fault, or if the translator didn’t get it quite to your liking, or what would have been your liking if you spoke Russian.I think that made sense. They’ll probably sell English copies over in Russia too, though, for English-speaking people over there.

  2. Josie
    Posted May 13, 2007 at 3:03 AM | Permalink

    I’m glad that your book is being translated into other languages, but tycho’s comment is a little disturbing. However, if your book sells diddly in Russia, you have the excellent excuse that your translator did a crappy job. But you’ll still have diddly in the end.On the other hand, I think they might should sell copies over there in English. I’ve heard that the European countries like have more advanced language programs, so I’ll bet that there are a lot more Russians that know English than Americans that know Russian. So maybe you won’t end up with diddly after all.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted May 13, 2007 at 3:04 AM | Permalink

    omigosh…i’v always wondered why in the world authors publish… it’s to fund the war against ganondorf

  4. Pat
    Posted May 13, 2007 at 5:43 AM | Permalink

    I’m so glad someone got my geeky little joke….

  5. Danny
    Posted May 13, 2007 at 4:02 PM | Permalink

    <>Buying<> anything is silly. The trick is just to pick it up and run around the shopkeeper in circles until you can sneak out the door. He’ll kill you next time you enter, though.

  6. Sean T. M. Stiennon
    Posted May 13, 2007 at 6:08 PM | Permalink

    And then everyone will know you simply as…”Thief”. Until the Wind Fish wakes up, that is.Man, in the old days, you had to save up 800, maybe 900 rupees for the bow. Now you just find it lying around in some chest.

  7. Dan
    Posted May 13, 2007 at 8:29 PM | Permalink

    Actually, a testicle clause is fairly common in contracts. It always pays to read the fine print.I hope you get enough rupees that you need to find the big wallet to hold them all.

  8. Anonymous
    Posted May 14, 2007 at 3:47 PM | Permalink

    I’d be nervous paying off debt with an advance; you still have to earn it out right? The bow idea is definitely the way to go, especially if you know an elf who’ll fork over good money for a used one.

  9. noblehobo
    Posted May 14, 2007 at 9:19 PM | Permalink

    ah, plenty of us whiled our days away, looking for pieces of our heart, lost in a forest that looked the same…and the same…and the same…and the same…and the same…

  10. Sean T. M. Stiennon
    Posted May 15, 2007 at 3:38 AM | Permalink

    That grass is what you would call a “cash crop”.Hee hee hee….

One Trackback

  • By A New Addition to the Family – Russia on July 12, 2010 at 4:40 AM

    […] new enough to this whole professional writer thing that everything is still fresh and new.  Foreign contracts are still interesting to me. I get an envelope in the mail and think, “Yay! I get to read an 8 page contract […]

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