They are not all good days….

When I stop to think about it, I realize how odd blog-writing is….

These last several months of posting haven’t been that strange for me. I’ve had years of practice writing a weekly humor column in the local paper. For nearly a decade I’ve told stories, given bad advice, and generally tried to make people laugh.

This blog is kind of like those columns.

Also, when I was growing up, I always loved it when the books had author’s notes in the back. Not just a little one-paragraph blurb. But a real message from the author to the reader. I thought that was the coolest thing, getting a little glimpse into their lives.

I like to think that this blog is kind of like those notes, too.

The blog is other things too: It’s a way for me to spread book-related news to those of you who give a care. It’s an easy, if rather unscientific, way to gather information. It also allows me to give some writing advice to people who are interested, though I’ll admit, I haven’t had much time for an “ask the author” blog lately. I should do one of those soon.

But recently, I’ve been wondering about the blog. What troubles me is this:

Though I am a liar by profession, I like to think of myself as a fundamentally honest person. Painfully honest, some people have said. But recently I’ve come to realize that the picture I’ve painted here is a somewhat dishonest portrayal of myself and my life.

It started months ago when I had a bad day and I thought about writing about it in the blog. Then I thought to myself, “Pat, people don’t come to your blog to listen to you bitch and moan about your sad life.”

“But I tell them about other stuff,” I protested. “Why shouldn’t I mention this?”

“Because they come here for news or for laughs, not so you can get all weepy on them.”

I realized I had a pretty good point, so I decided to keep quiet. Once I made that decision, it was fairly easy to abide by it. And lord knows there’s certainly been enough cool news lately so that I haven’t been scraping for stuff to post.

But over the last several weeks I’ve come to realize the other side of this. Sure I’m keeping it light and entertaining. But by only posting when I have cool news or a joke to make, it looks like my life is some sort of happily-ever-after, candy mountain place constructed entirely of rainbows and orgasmic bliss.

But this just isn’t the case. Things are not all sunshine and roses in Patland. I have bad days too.

Don’t get me wrong, life is pretty good. Hell, after all these years, my book is in print and people like it. That’s the top of the mountain, things don’t get any better than that.

But shit still happens. Today I bounced a check for the first time in ten years. Cost me fifty bucks and make me feel like an idiot incapable of performing simple math. Instead of leaving my credit union with money in my pocket, I left knowing my account balance was -2.56 even after depositing the whole check I’d gone in to cash. I didn’t even have enough to bring my balance up to zero.

Later on, I went to the coffee place and after I’ve ordered, I see the sign that says they don’t take credit cards. And of course I don’t have any money. So I have to explain that I can’t actually pay….

Then I come home and I see that on Amazon someone posted a one-star review of NOTW. That means my average dropped just enough for me to lose my perfect 5-star status, which I was unreasonably proud of. Then I feel like a dink for even caring about something like that. But I go on being irritated even though I know it’s silly, and that makes me even more irritated….

That’s the reality of things. I have money troubles. I make bad choices. I get pissed off for no good reason. It’s stupid how a few relatively small things can just wear you down.

It used to be that when I had a day like this I’d call my mom. I’d tell her about the one-star review and she’d be pissed. She’d go online and read it and just seethe about how the person was a total ass, and probably a half wit too. She’d be furious on my behalf, and I’d explain that it wasn’t really that big a deal (which it isn’t) and it would be off my chest and over with. It was enough to know that she was looking out for me, even if only to protect me from one-star reviewers.

You see, that’s the main thing that I’ve avoided talking about on here for months now. Months and Months. Normally if something big happens to me, I tell stories about it. It’s how I’m built. But I’ve been keeping that particular piece of story under wraps for a while now. Not only has it made me feel dishonest, but it really goes against my nature.

The thing is, my mom died a little while back, just a few weeks before the book came out.

She was great. I wish you all could have met her, and I’m sure most of you would have if she were still around. She’d be on here reading your posts, calling me on my bullshit, and telling stories. She would have gotten such a kick out of all the attention the book has been getting lately. The movie talk. All the foreign deals….

The Quill award. Oh man, she would have been unstoppable with a piece of news like that. She’d be telling strangers on the street. Moms don’t have to be modest so she would have been bragging all over the place. I’d be embarrassed about it, of course, but knowing that she was being excited on my behalf would mean that I’d feel better about just being calm and happy about the news. Sometimes it’s not that much fun being excited about your own stuff.

She didn’t miss all of it. She got to have some fun with NOTW. She read the galley and saw the printed versions before she went. She was around for some of the initial cool news: the first few foreign sales, some of the movie talk. She was so proud of it even then, before it even hit the shelves, even before it ever had an agent or a publisher. She referred to it as her “grandbook.”

I tell you though. I’d set these books on fire if I could have her back healthy and happy for one good week. Fuck. Some days I’d trade it for a good fifteen minutes.

What’s my point? Hell. I have no idea. If I had a point when I started writing this, I’ve long since forgotten it. I certainly didn’t sit down tonight with the intention of writing about my mom….

I think I mostly just wanted to let the cat out of the bag. I generally live my life with policy of full disclosure, and it was feeling increasingly weird keeping mentions of such a big part of my life out of these blog posts. I prefer to keep my lies and editing for my books. My life I just like to live and share.

Tell you what though. Let’s not have a big sympathy fest in the comments section. I’m not looking for a pity party. Aside from the occasional bad day where I can’t seem to do anything but miss her, I’m doing pretty good. I’m doing pretty good right now, actually. I feel better than when I started writing this. Which might be the moral of the story.

You be happy too, okay? As for me, I’m going to go eat a cookie and go to bed.

Maybe two cookies.

Fondly,

pat

This entry was posted in day in the life, the man behind the curtainBy Pat43 Responses

43 Comments

  1. Greg
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 11:05 AM | Permalink

    Sorry to hear about your mom, Pat. They really are amazing people. I think it’s a wonderful gift of life that everyone gets one. :)I for one think it’s cool of you to open up a bit. The fact that you bounced a check is a reality check to a lot of people who think that being a published author is all sunshine and lollipops. I mean, you’re a published, award-winning author with fanbois around the world. Don’t you fart roses?Just remember, it’s your blog. Not ours, so you can write whatever you want to write. If you feel like ranting about the political situation in your hometown, or in Myanmar, it’s totally up to you. Some people won’t read it, but potentially, people who wouldn’t otherwise find your site will, and will then hang around, and possibly check out your book.Anyway, I hope your cookies were satisfying and that you slept well! Take it easy today.

  2. Josh Anderson
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 12:20 PM | Permalink

    You made the right move with the cookies Pat. The Oracle knew how to ease Neo’s troubled mind. Cookies. They always make things better.Listen, most people like a little insight into the normal side of their “heroes”. Real fans will enjoy the post, while others, well, who knows…P.S. We don’t enjoy your pain, it just brings us closer to who you are.

  3. Cory
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 12:43 PM | Permalink

    The ability to admit to other that you have your share of bullshit days is admirable. Everyone, now a days, is so centered on making themselves look like a rose, that I must tip my hat to your admittance. Movie Talk?!? We need more information on this as it becomes available. Cookies make everything better. As stated on all those ‘Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned In Kindergarten’ “Warm Cookies and Milk are good for you”

  4. logankstewart
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 12:47 PM | Permalink

    This side of you reminds me dearly of one of my best friends. He never tells what he really is, his life is largely disclosed, but every time he opens up to me I feel like we are a little closer. It’s good to hear that even a bigshot author is human, too. Cause, honestly, sometimes when I’m reading I think “Wow, I bet a 120V android wrote this.”Take care. Godspeed.

  5. ryan k.
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 12:52 PM | Permalink

    Hey, loyal readers:Patrick does not lie in this post. His mom was a great lady. In the years that I knew her, she was always kind and ever ready to laugh. She was one of those people who made the world a better place in which to live, who left a large hole in it when she left, and who made sure her children turned out to be honest, decent human beings. Her legacy lives on.And yes, she would’ve been pissed about a one-star review. As are we all (and if you’re not, you should be). NOTW deserves more respect than that.And Pat, what kind of coffee place doesn’t take credit cards? Are the owners trying to sell as little coffee as possible? Is there a shortage?

  6. black Sunshine
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 2:08 PM | Permalink

    Your mom sounds just like MY mom . . . here’s to great moms (and the wicked cool children they produce)!!!

  7. Jessica
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 2:38 PM | Permalink

    So sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like you were so lucky to have a mom like that. It helps explain how you could be so cool and write such a great book. I know you said you don’t want a pity party, and there is a weird false intimacy to blogging, I mean, you don’t know me or anything, so who am I to say anything about this? But I just want to say that it really is very sad and awful that she died right when the book was coming out. It must make the good stuff that’s happening for you now sometimes tinged with sadness too. I guess the good part of it is that she got to see you on the brink of success. Having two kids myself, I can almost imagine how happy and proud she must have been. I hope I can be half that good of a mom myself!Okay enough pity party that you didn’t want. You could look into overdraft protection (being too busy and, frankly, a bit flaky sometimes, I highly recommend it). And very shop should take a card these days, what if you wanted to use your debit card. And finally, a one-star review of your book is just ridiculous. Even if a person hates fantasy or wants their fantasy more weird or somehow different, just the quality of the prose has to get you at least three or four stars in any fair system of judging. It’s so clear, brisk, pleasant to read! I have read one-star books, and NOTW just isn’t one, no way.Well I do hope the cookies were good and that the better mood lasted till morning! It occurs to me that of course anyone who wants to can and should go buy the book on amazon and write a five-star review, balancing out against that stupid, ludicrous one-star review….

  8. Shara Saunsaucie
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 2:44 PM | Permalink

    So you don’t want a pity party, but I also want to extend my consolences. It’s harder than hell to lose a loved one, but it’s also good to talk about them, because that’s how we keep them alive. I’m glad you’ve decided to open up more. Like others have mentioned, hearing about the downside of life helps us understand you better, and it also makes you human. I, for one, am all about being human.I’m going to have to find that one-star review, and when I get home from work, I’ll try to remember to post my own over at Amazon. :)Hope the cookies helped, and remember: it’s your blog. Your audience is going to be interested no matter what you write. :)

  9. Nancy
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 2:49 PM | Permalink

    Years ago when I was taking a writing class, the professor gave advice as to how (after you’d submitted a piece for publication) to deal with the rejection slips. The advice? To say “The editor is a dumb-butt!” and immediately submit your work somewhere else. Now, obviously a person who’d give NOTW a one-star rating is an idiot; it’s as simple as that. I’m sorry that a person of that nature has the ability to affect your overall ranking, but he or she certainly doesn’t deserve the energy of a second thought.And I loved your description of your mother. It shows that you appreciated many of the things that she was, which included being a person to brag about what you accomplished and to rant about those who misused you. Believe me, I understand those things, being myself a mom who’s been called a walking PR-machine when it comes to my daughters’ accomplishments. [You know my daughters, Pat. They cosplay NOTW and other characters, they write, they make cloaks….] :DBut, anyway: Think of where you are now, after this latest blog entry. Now you’ve got a whole slew of people who can appreciate with you what your mom was like and can now sympathize with you in missing her. You’ve got a blog readership that now realizes that being an published and award-winning novelist doesn’t magically remove bad days or bounced checks from your life. And you’ve got someone to remind you that a Quill Award goes a LONG way to offset one one-star review.Oh, and Pat? I locked my keys in my Jeep yesterday. ;-)Nancy

  10. Angie
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 3:22 PM | Permalink

    Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. I’ll make you feel a bit better and wend my way over to amazon to leave you a stellar review. I LOVED NOTW. It’s also good to know you’re human like the rest of us.I’ll share my story. I needed groceries…BAD….so I went to the store and put all the things in the cart. I was happy, thinking about all the things that I was going to be able to cook. (I basically didn’t have anything left in the apartment to eat.)I put it all on the conveyer, the bagger’s doing his job, the cashier’s totalling up my order, I pull out my credit card. Declined. I get out the other one. Declined. I pull out the 3rd one (which is also my debit card). Declined. By this time, I’m probably as red as an overripe tomato, I can’t believe the horror! I’m also completely flummoxed, since I paid my cards off and knew they were fine. I tell the cashier I’ll be right back, my bank’s right there, and I’ll go get out cash. The bank’s closed, so I head to the ATM. Insert card, enter PIN, hit what I need to get out….and the stupid machine tells me no can do….In the end, I have to go back to the store and tell them that I can’t buy all the groceries they have so lovingly bagged for me. I’ve never been quite as humiliated as I was that day.Turns out my cards had all been demagnetized, so they weren’t scanning. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the money, it was that my cards evidently thought I needed to lose weight….stupid cards.I’ll also start threatening people to buy your book. That’ll help the funds, right? We could all start a new society….NOTW-OBBN (Name of the Wind – Operation Buy Book NOW!) :)Hope the rest of this month turns out better for you.

  11. Calenhíril
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 3:54 PM | Permalink

    Not a day goes by that I’m not thankful for parents who love me. It sounds like your mother was a wonderful person, and I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone needs someone they can unburden themselves to. You’ve now got lots of someones…I’m grateful for the glimpse into your life. It’s a comfort to know that even our heroes have mundane moments.Think of it this way. Now you have lots of people to send you cookies ;) Your book is one of the few that I gave 5 stars at Amazon. We all know you’re deserving of far more.If all life was good, we would never have glorious moments. We need the bad to make us realize the wonder of the good.

  12. Adam B. Shaeffer
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 4:18 PM | Permalink

    When one of my favorite authors says he’s going to have a cookie or two, I can’t help but wonder what kind of cookie he chooses . . .

  13. mmmmmpig
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 4:42 PM | Permalink

    It is a fine line that the non-naked blogger walks. I completely understand the sentiment of trying to keep it light and fluffy. Making the blog fun. I get the need to make this a space where people don’t need to hear about the negativity that rudely intrudes upon your life.Most bloggers also understand that even under the best intentions to keep something light and fluffy, the crap of life will intrude upon the blogosphere from time to time. Don’t sweat it. I still come here looking for pithy writing and bad jokes with good puns. I come here to hear the musings of an author whose work I respect. I will still come here to hear about the mundane daily life of the published even if a bit of unhappiness is shared.Since you asked this not to be a pity party, I will not extend my condolences, but I will be absolutely inscensed that someone 1-starred you on Amazon. WTF?!?! 1-star? Sweet Jebus, What the Hell!?!?

  14. Ben
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 5:57 PM | Permalink

    Sorry to hear about your Mom. :(Speaking of cookies .. I should have my wife bake some for you. She’s DA BOMB at baking .. hence the very fattened people I work with. muwahaha! A good triple chocolate chip cookie makes a lot of things better.Hang in there and may peace find you wherever life takes you.– Ben (STL)

  15. Arevanye
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 6:22 PM | Permalink

    I know you said you’re not looking for a sympathy fest, but I’d like to extend mine anyway. It’s tough to lose a parent and your mom sounds like she was very special.You need to put out a PayPal tip jar! I’d love buy you a cup of coffee– after reading such a wonderful book I’d be honored.

  16. Bek
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 6:47 PM | Permalink

    Pat, I would let you borrow my mom but I know it just wouldn’t be the same. Your recent blog makes you real to me. Most, if not all of us, identify with people in our lives similar to identifying with characters in stories. What draws us to your wonderful characters is their substance which is made up of their faults and their accomplishments. And it is from your experiences you have drawn them from. The love you have for you mom was placed tenderly in the heart of Kvothe. And from the young Kvothe, we see you.On a lighter side, when I met you, my palms were sweaty and my stomach somehow wound its way up into my throat. =) Hey, I was meeting my favorite author. You are adorable, Mr. Rothfuss!Rebekah

  17. Hob Gammidge
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 6:53 PM | Permalink

    Write whatever is in you to write Pat. I like it all, even when it’s stuff that’s frustrating, sad, angry, etc. It makes you seem so much more human when we do get to see that other side of you. Me personally, I almost equate you to some golden god who couldn’t possibly be a real person because you are that awesome.Cookies and cake always make me feel better. *huggles*

  18. Jordan R
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 8:37 PM | Permalink

    A ‘Blog’ is literally a Web-Log. A log of your life. Many blogs take the form of a diary. Diaries are meant to include the good and the bad. They offer the writer a way to expel ideas or thoughts that may be locked up within them. Some times this is good therapy. You wrote: “Pat, people don’t come to your blog to listen to you bitch and moan about your sad life.” What I come here for, and I speak only for myself, is because it allows me to feel close to someone I admire greatly. I (oddly enough) feel a friendship with you and the other folks who comment here, because we share this common interest. But this is a 2 way street Pat. You are giving us this gift but you may not realize we can give as well as take. When you have a bad day let us know. You bring joy to us every day we spent with your book and more so with each post here. Let us return the favor. Just be honest and if the truth is bad, throw it down, and together lets do our best to work it out.This too shall pass.

  19. Joshua Champion
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 9:24 PM | Permalink

    Moms are wonderful, aren’t they? They have your back when nobody else does, not like siblings, who will try to force a bottle of reality down your throat. I’m sorry to hear that she passed away. Losing family members is a terrible pain.Man, that 1 Star review is pretty lame. Ptth, I just finished it today after a 500 page reading-spurt. I loved every page. To call it boring is an unforgiveable injustice. I gave said person thumbs down, and placed a rather snyde remark. =P

  20. Kelly Swails
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 9:30 PM | Permalink

    Sorry to hear about your mom, dude. That sucks. Onward …One of my favorite parts of reading books in my youth was the author blurbies in the back. Still is, really. Stephen King is notorious for ’em. Sure, it gives you insight into the author, but I think there’s more to it. It’s something fundamental in the wiring of a writer. I like reading blogs–friends or strangers, I don’t care–and I might admit to peeking into a person’s medicine cabinet once or twice. It’s that insatiable curiousity about people that writers have.

  21. Anonymous
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 10:33 PM | Permalink

    why not share your feelings? There are of course always ppl on the internet who are envious and destructive and may try to hurt you with their words.. but i hope and think that the vast majority of users posting and reading on this blog are devoted fans of yours and to be honest, who could understand you better than the ones cherishing your book(s), so your written word.this is not about pity. even if you don’t read the comments at all.. write these worries off your mind so that we don’t have to diagnose later “oh, he had a hard time and you can see that in his book” ;-)oh yeah. 5 star reviews are just cosmetics. there is always a little ambrose trying to spoil you the party. ;)greets

  22. Ben
    Posted September 27, 2007 at 11:15 PM | Permalink

    Thanks, Pat.

  23. Stormy70
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 12:49 AM | Permalink

    Sometimes a person just needs to vent the grievances of life to another person, not for sympathy, but to just get it out of their system. I give a warning to my husband that what will follow is a “venting”. Then he knows I just want to get something (usually work related)off my chest, by ranting and raving like a banshee. He just needs to nod and coo or yell “to hell with them!” until I am done. Then it is back to life, with a much lighter heart.So, vent away. As an aside, I read your book because everyone recommended it so highly. I broke my hard and fast rule of not reading a series until all the books are out, too. Now I am hooked and waiting for the next fix.

  24. Paul
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 2:19 AM | Permalink

    I find it curious that your Mom died a few weeks before your book came out.You see, my Dad -almost- died a few weeks before your book came out. He was having some serious heart problems and it was touch and go for a while. The doctors weren’t sure they could do anything. As it turned out, he was taken in for emergency heart surgery and we got lucky. Immediately afterward, I drove down to Florida to spend two weeks with him as he was recovering. We did a lot of movie-watching and a lot of time wasting in bookstores, as he wasn’t up to much as you might imagine.At any rate, while puttering around at the local Barnes and Noble, I spotted your book. I knew nothing about it, and would only later learn that it had come out a mere two days before I saw it. I bought it on the strength of the jacket blurb and began reading it that night. Needless to say, it was the strongest piece of fiction I had read all year.My point is only this.. That the memories of reading your book are now inextricably tied to my memories of seeing my Father recover after a time when I thought I would lose him.Just wanted to share that.Hope you enjoyed your cookies.-Paul

  25. Nick
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 2:19 AM | Permalink

    Well, I cant do anything about the whole death-in-the-family thing, but I can help you with that one star rating.Your book was found by me on the public library’s ‘Best reader’s picks’ shelf. Yay!And some light humor; as I picked it up to admire it once again, I happened to find someone’s bookmark- a folded box of Nestle Smarties! Seems that someone had a good time while reading… or they never finished, but I doubt that.I’m going to digress for a moment… W00T cookies!

  26. Josie
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 2:30 AM | Permalink

    Whoever left your book a one-star review has to be a complete idiot. Don’t pay any attention to the imbeciles, Pat.Personally, I love reading your blog, whether you write about winning the Quill award or “emo bullshit”. Everyone has bad days, and you shouldn’t feel bad about telling of yours. I love how you still manage to look on the bright side most of the time. We all have our manic depressive moments. Enjoy your cookies. You deserve them.

  27. Anonymous
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 4:25 AM | Permalink

    SEAN:We all love you Pat, but not in that creepy shouldn’t give out your home address sorta way, more like the thank you thank you thank you so much for bringing Kvothe into our lives sorta way.I think the best evidence of our feelings about your blog is displayed in the lengths of comments posted. Nearly every post is a substantial multi paragraph submission.Not only does it do you good to let us know, it does us good to know. I’m impressed by the depth of comments on this one, and in recognition to everyone who has contributed would like to say thank you, your stories have been uplifting to me, and hopefully to pat as well.

  28. Pat
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 6:25 AM | Permalink

    I agree. I’m always impressed with the quality of the comments on here.Truth is, y’all like my book, so I’m biased toward liking you folks anyway, but it makes me proud that my readers are thoughtful, kind, articulate people. That makes me think I must have done something right while writing the book….

  29. Ruth Ann Zeimet
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 7:16 AM | Permalink

    its okay to have a bad day and rant about it online. like when something bad happens, or you do something stupid just cause youre in a crappy mood… but the point is, its okay to be you. because even on the bad days, you are a wonderful person.

  30. MsTrace
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 7:58 AM | Permalink

    I lost my Dad recently. When I was a little kid, he would take me to the local library and let me pick out whatever books I wanted. He gave me no restrictions, no limits. If I could carry it out of the library, I could read it. The library became, and still is today, a sacred place full of wonder. There isn’t anyone on this planet more responsible for the joy I find in reading than him. I think of him when I read a great book. When I finished NOTW I had such a longing to share it with him. He would have loved it, he would have felt a bit of kinship with Quothe.[[big sigh]]I love your blog Pat. I hope you never get to a point in your writing career where you aren’t able to share a bit of yourself with your readers in this way. Nothing draws me in more then honesty, directness and humor. Your latest entry had me remembering my Dad and how very much I miss him. I hadn’t thought about our library visits in quite some time. So I’ll just end by saying thank you, and keep…keepin’ it real.

  31. MsTrace
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 8:06 AM | Permalink

    Yep. So caught up in my little reverie that I spelled Kvothe phonetically. Must recoup brain power with some major REM action. ZZZZzzzzzz

  32. Thad A
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 8:14 AM | Permalink

    Mom’s are totally bitchrod( to quote a character in S. King/P. Straub’s Black House) They may not always agree with you, but they just about always support you, and they never stop loving you. Even after they’ve moved on…

  33. Miriam
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 2:07 PM | Permalink

    I’ve been blogging for about 3 years now and it’s a difficult balance to strike between being VERY real and putting on the face that people want to see.But you shouldn’t feel bad about not blogging about your mom. You are grieving and the grieving period for a parent can be the rest of your life. It’s the tender bit at the beginning that is so dear to you that you can’t talk about it for fear of either breaking down or risking someone saying something hurtful that will sting all the worse for the tenderness of the wound.It’s ridiculous for a blog-reader to think that they know someone very well just by reading their blog. No matter how honest the blog writer is. And anyone who’s been around a while or has any logical thought processes would realize that. So blog what you want to, blog what you’re comfortable with. The conclusion I came to when I was struggling about how professional to be on my blog was that I wouldn’t post anything that I would be uncomfortable with my regular-work boss seeing, but that everything I posted would be the truth. Sometimes just the RELEVANT truth, so that I didn’t offer up too much information, but true nonetheless. *hug* Sorry about your mom. Someday when you feel more whole maybe you could tell us stories about her? She sounds like an excellent woman.

  34. Mary J.
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 4:05 PM | Permalink

    I don’t have the words that I need to express myself over this post so I will move on to the incidentals…I left your one star reviewer a bit of constructive feedback. I am sure his days are not going very well because of the combined mental power of your friends and fans. (That amount of bad vibes aimed at someone surely has an effect) He is a true sapsucker.I hope your cookies were warm, wonderful, and comforting. You should throw us some hints on your favorites or you will just get bags and bags of Oreos. (The only previously mentioned cookie choice that I can remember on your blog)My supreme stalking skills and mild telepathic bond to you were obviously in effect. I hope you got your Quill note and will have the enclosure handy for your next coffee shop visit. :-*

  35. Pat
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 6:02 PM | Permalink

    Miriam: Yeah. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, it won’t be too long before I tell some stories about her.Mary: I got your card just last night. It was very sweet. Thanks so much….Good lord. I wish this blog could do threaded comments. Responding this way is so cumbersome and irritating….

  36. Jennye
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 6:21 PM | Permalink

    Okay, I promised myself I wasn’t going to do this, as you didn’t want a pity party but I’m going to anyway. And since YOU don’t want a pity party, I will make this mostly about me.Your post touched me because it reminded me that I am not the only person who shares such a deep connection with my mother. And it’s good to hear others who do, and use words that convey that feeling so well. And when you lose that connection, how lost and disoriented you feel.I try to explain that feeling as something akin to a spacewalker. Stick with me here. When we’re born, our mothers put us out into space with this huge lifeline connected to us. As we grow older we connect more lifelines to others, but the spacestation that is the mother is always in sight and provides constant support that we can always turn and rely on. When the spacestation dies, all of the sudden you feel cut adrift. And even though you know you have all that you need to survive, and that all your other lifelines are there for you, they can’t replace the one that was with you since the beginning and you feel like you’re being sucked toward a black hole. And space sure is much more scarier without that sure support!Well, I could take the metaphor further, but I think you get the idea. The main thing is that you get used to being in space without that anchor.I lost my Mom a little over a year ago and she was my best friend. Reading was a shared obsession. I’m sure I would have shared your book with her were she still here.As usual, thanks for sharing. We appreciate it and sorry if my metaphor was lame. I envy all you writers who can so easily do what it takes me a half a day to do. (No, this didn’t take me a half a day, but it would have been a lot better if I could have used that much time.)Thanks again!

  37. Christine
    Posted September 28, 2007 at 9:04 PM | Permalink

    I get the same way on my blog. I try to be happy and creative, but I do find it that people appreciate it more when you write about evening good and bad. Thank you so much for sharing with us and my sympathies to you from one who has just had a similar loss.As for cookies, it’s always chocolate chip ones for me! Not the crunchy ones though. Cookies shouldn’t be crunchy! They need to be soft and sweet so they worthy of me sharing the bed with their crumbs.

  38. Sabrina
    Posted September 29, 2007 at 1:17 AM | Permalink

    I’ve learned something about reviews whether it be movies, books, music, or video games and that is: stupid people like bad things. That person on amazon just didn’t get the greatness of your book. I think you are a great guy, Pat. Thanks for your book and your blog.

  39. Llyralei
    Posted September 29, 2007 at 2:13 AM | Permalink

    Aw, Pat, I’m sorry. Like greg said, it’s your blog. Even if my blog was read by thousands of fans, I’d still bitch and moan. xDActually, it’s kind of nice that you post up the bad stuff, too. It shows that you’re human, and that things get you down just like the rest of us. It makes me kind of happy that you trust your readership to let them get close to your heart like this. :]And don’t let those one-star reviewers discourage you. I’ll bet they’re all nerds who think they can write just because they read some classics in high school. XD <3Cookies are yum. :D

  40. Ms Beastie
    Posted October 1, 2007 at 12:26 AM | Permalink

    I’m very sad to hear about your mom. It sounds like she was a very cool mom.I for one think is a grand thing when someone doesn’t hide behind some sort of persona in their blog. I prefer true representation blogs of the warts and all variety.

  41. Brian Igelchen
    Posted October 4, 2007 at 8:02 PM | Permalink

    I read the one-star amazon review. I don’t even get why he reviewed it, he hadn’t read the entire book. And I don’t see why he started reading it.I’ve only read the excerpts on your site, and yet I am so intent on reading that book, so hooked that if it had cost 300$ it wouldn’t really have mattered. And I could have travelled to Stockholm to get it. (I live in Oslo, and I’m being realistic)And I think you should be proud of your <>five-star<> amazon rating. Because the bull-shit that guy just pulled does not cut it. I may only have read the excerpts, but they were good. And the same guy who rated you with one-star, rated the last Potter book with a five star. Obviously this guy only opened his eyes to what he wanted to see. He already had a liking of the Harry Potter books. He wanted the last Harry Potter book to be good, although in all sincerity it was just okay. (Says I who am a serious HP-fan) However he seemed to keep a blind eye to the good stuff in your novel, because he didn’t already relate to it, and didn’t bother to.I don’t think that reviewer wanted to read your book from the start off. And I don’t think he was disappointed by the book. He just didn’t bother…And sorry about your mother. It’s always good to have someone there for you.

  42. evas
    Posted October 8, 2007 at 5:05 AM | Permalink

    I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like your mom was very close to your heart.Moms are a blessing when they are filled with love for their children and it sounds like yours was really there for you.It sucks not having enough money,especially when you work really hard to get the money you do have!I know what that’s like..The book will sell and sell, my magic eight ball predicts much success for you because you are talented, hardworking and kind and build magical realms.Things will get better.

  43. randrean
    Posted October 14, 2007 at 4:52 AM | Permalink

    As someone who has finally read your first book, and as someone who has known you since you were selling penguin mints to Cathy and Wendy at the Mission,I am glad you posted about losing your mother, even though I AM NOT glad of the fact. The funny thing is also that I can’t get it out of my family if you are a part of my family still, or if I am just confused.Raun Norby here. I actually found out about the book from the alumni paper and not from my family, but I do remember when you and S. moved back to the midwest. All other ideas aside….your book rocks. I am waiting for the second, and I keep on thinking, did I read this passage? when I come upon something seeming really familiar.It is a wonderful book, and I can hardly wait for #2. Hugs and kisses. Raun

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