Photo Contest Part III – Anthropomorphic and Athletic

Lots of pictures today. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

First category: Most Athletic

Here’s Captain Joe again, making me feel better about the fact that I still play on the springy horses too. The name of his mighty steed? Captain Joe dubbed him “Thunderplum.”

I don’t know what sport is being invented here. But I’m reasonably sure that 1) It kicks the ass off Polo. And 2) I really don’t want to play without some serious protective gear.

I love this one for many reasons, not the least of which is that it led to me learning an awesome new word: arabesque.

I don’t know the word for this pose, but I wish I did. I like to think that if I knew the word, I could make use of it at some future point in my life and be better off for it.

Why is this photo listed in “Most Athletic?” Well, apparently it was shot while running away from security on the set of Johnny Depp’s new movie, “Public Enemies.”

Someone might need a lesson about sharing. And about keeping his center of gravity low during a bout….

See? Apparently three people can read the book at once.

I really appreciate it when people are careful with the book. Since they have someone there whose express purpose is to catch the paperback if it falls, they get the runner-up position. Since it’s a group shot, they each get a prize.

I love the pointy toes here….

Another item for my long list of Fun Stuff I Would Hurt Myself Doing.

Also, I would like everyone to appreciate the degree of restraint I’m showing by not making a swinger joke right now.

And the winner. Both ladies can have their choice of items from among the swag available. Also, you should rest comfortably in the knowledge that you rock the house, the casbah, and my socks, in roughly that order.

Next: Most Anthropomorphic

Another thing I didn’t expect when I started this competition was that folks might dress up my books or to put them into people-ish situations. Such as this…

The caption for this photo was something along the lines of, “A great book, but does it cuddle?”

And yes, that is canned frosting and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. It appears my book is continuing in the fine tradition of getting more action than me.

…or should that be “more action that I?” Meh. Witness the deep wellspring of my not really giving a damn.

Moving on.

This is my book reading a magazine. Some flights are so long that even your leisure reading can get bored.

This one is bound to screw with your perspective a little bit…..

… especially combined with the runner-up. Who knew my book was such a rebel?

But this is the unabashed winner. The caption:

Old Grandpa muses on the new addition to the family…”It’s sure a good thing the little whippersnapper looks so much like my daughter. Look at that husband of hers – using a length of rope to hold up his pants. In my day, I had a rippling naked man chest – but I had to cast that vanity aside. Now days all you need is daisies to woo a woman and she’ll ignore your ridiculous pants!”

Every time I look at this picture I find something new to love. But even before I read the caption, I was marveling at the pants.

The next time I’m at some convention, and there’s a group of new authors hanging around at the bar trying to out-awesome each other, I’m going to sit back until everyone else has bragged their biggest brag. Then I’ll pull out my trump card: “Someone made pants for my book,” I’ll say, “And then they took a picture of it.”

So I declare this a double win. I’ll send the genius behind it a couple of prizes of her choice. She deserves them.

Later all,


This entry was posted in contests, cool things, fan coolnessBy Pat23 Responses


  1. Laura
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 7:30 AM | Permalink

    The dancers in the woods photos were absolutely gorgeous.

  2. pdxtrent
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 7:38 AM | Permalink

    Some of these are ridiculously awesome… however I am fast becoming a fan of Capt. Joe… Seriously, this guy is amazingly clever.

  3. Captain Joe
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 7:56 AM | Permalink

    Amazingly clever, or amazingly photogenic? Little a’both I think.Thunderplum is a veteran of many campaigns, each one bloody and… lacking in reality.Heh, there is nothing more awesome than pants on a book. Nothing. And I will fight anyone that doesn’t agree with that.~Cap’n Joe

  4. hypermanic-zen
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 8:03 AM | Permalink

    I’ll never be able to open the cover again without thinking “I’m totally getting in The Name Of The Wind’s pants”.And I’m okay with that.

  5. matt
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 11:16 AM | Permalink

    I think one of the prizes should be a free fencing lesson with Patrick of the Russ.

  6. marky
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 12:15 PM | Permalink

    This poses some interesting questions. What kinda trousers would best suit different books? Damn it! This is going to be one of those things that will stick. I’ll be sitting mulling it over all day now! War and peace (big flowery pregnant trousers), the bible (holy trousers. of course!)…must…stop…must think of bendy hot forest dwelling girls…ahh. That’s better!

  7. Jim C. Hines
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 12:16 PM | Permalink

    The two dancing-in-the-woods pics are beautiful. The second one should be a poster for your book.

  8. matt
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 12:42 PM | Permalink

    I agree. She definitely captured the essence of fantasy in that picture.Heh… Essence of Fantasy should be Pat’s first fragrance spin-off.

  9. Dischord
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 2:04 PM | Permalink

    Awesome pictures, Pat! If I had any talent with photography, I might have given it a shot myself. (heh)I heard your interview at the Dead Robots Society podcast, and enjoyed that a lot. They have some allergy to saying my forum handle (Dischord) but I suggested they bug you for an interview.Glad to hear about Dragon*Con! I’m sure Justin can get you the info you need for panels. I’ll be sure to stop by any of your panels and pay homage to the beard. Funny how these things work out.(Bwahaha, my evil influence has begun to creep into the writing world already…bwahaha!)*ahem* Anyway, I loved the interview and I’ll be sure to pick up the anthology you mentioned as soon as possible. Yay for peeks into Book 2!

  10. Christy
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 4:05 PM | Permalink

    Just goes to show what Pat’s books can inspire people to do….Im off to read it again and hope to become a human pretzle

  11. Dischord
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 4:38 PM | Permalink

    Ok, Pat, don’t read this post! It’s a secret.Ok, everybody else: Join the Cult of Pat’s Beard. Pat isn’t to know there’s a cult dedicated to his Beard. If he knew that, his head would get too big and the beard might fall off. Or at least get really scraggly due to the head swelling. We can’t let that happen. Join the cult of Pat’s Beard today and don’t tell Pat!Ok, Pat, you can come back now.

  12. Mary J.
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 9:17 PM | Permalink

    I don’t know that we should encourage Pat’s fascination with pants… Love the dancer in the woods. So pretty! Also, Captain Joe- he and Thunderplum are pretty too. ;-)

  13. Amanda
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 10:21 PM | Permalink

    The fact that your book has pants makes you pretty much the coolest author ever.

  14. Anonymous
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 11:41 PM | Permalink

    I can imagine only a single improvement on the “anthropomorphic” winner: the “father” should’ve had the Fabio cover.

  15. Kip
    Posted May 20, 2008 at 3:44 PM | Permalink

    I also like the forest one. I was going to submit one with my friend Jesus, but we never got around to it. (although we did get around to hunting down 1st edition copies for each of us, especially after mind got destroyed in an unfortunate (and ironicaly) wind related accident)Rock on Cap’n Joe.

  16. matt
    Posted May 20, 2008 at 3:52 PM | Permalink

    Kip: It sounds like there are great powers at work here…

  17. Anonymous
    Posted May 20, 2008 at 7:22 PM | Permalink

    My love for captain joe keeps growing…i say you make a forum Pat (So we can discuss you awesomenesss) and make a subforum dedicted to Capt.Joe and his awesomeness…

  18. Kip.
    Posted May 21, 2008 at 12:53 PM | Permalink

    Matt: Name of the wind sitting on back deck of my car + Me going 120+ Me opening my window to get some ventilation= Cover blown off, and pages in nice little packets.It was sad. Good news is, we put it back together, and use it as our loaner copy for n00bs.

  19. Anonymous
    Posted May 21, 2008 at 2:34 PM | Permalink

    I enjoyed the fencing one, particularly the lack of proper punctuation in the tag, “Buy your own asshole”. So rather than meaning “Buy your own book, asshole!” it reads as “I have an asshole and you don’t, so go buy your own!” For some reason this amuses me. Yes, I admit it, I’m a stickler. Leave me alone. I have a dangling participle and I’m not afraid to use it.

  20. matt
    Posted May 21, 2008 at 3:31 PM | Permalink

    Kip: What a violent end to to a beautiful book! (Sailors don’t say “beautiful” very often… might want to mark this moment). I have to admit, though… I was hoping for a story about pent-up rage channeling some inner force from the depths of Pat’s powerful novel.Coincidentally, right around the time Pat encountered frustration in posting pictures on the blogger, we experienced torrential storms here in Virginia with tennis ball-sized hale…And then after a moment, all was calm.

  21. matt
    Posted May 21, 2008 at 7:26 PM | Permalink

    Edit: that would be tennis ball-sized HAIL…*sigh* stupid typo… totally ruined the effect of my dramatic prose.

  22. Anonymous
    Posted June 11, 2008 at 2:24 AM | Permalink

    Finished the book in one day–ONE LONG DAY…. WHEN IS THE NEXT NOVEL DUE?????????????????

  23. origami
    Posted April 1, 2011 at 6:39 PM | Permalink

    Holy Cowmoly! Out of the whole wide internets, the winning picture of this category was taken at the VERY SAME place where I take Aikido! Bravo, you guys, and I’m sorry if we ever give you weird looks while passing by. I’m sure we look just as crazy to other people throwing each other around in our hakamas. Seattle represent!

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