The End is Nigh

So last night I was singing in the shower, and I had a wonderful idea.

Yeah. Feel free to take a moment. The image that was just branded into your occipital lobe will fade with time. Take a deep breath. There you go. And another. Better? Just avoid thinking about it for a while and it will go away. Whatever you do, don’t add that fuzzy pink cat-ear hat to the picture, or you’ll never….

You just did it, didn’t you? Man, I’m sorry.

Heh heh heh.

Awwww…. Now I feel really guilty. What if the Hadron Collider blows up the world later today and the last thought on someone’s mind is my naked, soapy body in a Kawaii-pink catgirl hat? If that happens, I’m definitely going to pay for it in the afterlife.

Anyway, as I was saying, yesterday I had an idea.

It doesn’t really matter where I was when I had the idea. Don’t think about it.

As is the case with most of my ideas, it was about writing, and it was awesome.

Over the next couple hours, the idea rolled around in my head. Finally I decided I’d be better off just writing it, and getting it out, than to try and fight it. This is the writer’s equivalent of giving your child the candy they’re begging for, just so they’ll shut up and leave you alone.

So I wrote this thing. This story. It was fun. I was excited. It had some terribly clever bits. It had humor. It had a good ending.

Most interesting was the fact that this story is much shorter than what I usually write. In fact, I managed to finish it in just a couple hours.

It was only after the story was finished that I realized what I had done. It honestly, HONESTLY never occurred to me while I was thinking about it or writing it down. In fact, it didn’t occur to me until I woke up this morning.

I had written fanfic.

I really don’t know what this means. I don’t know if this is a sign of the endtimes, or merely the first step in what will quickly become the downward spiral of my life.

Either way, I felt that y’all had the right to know.

pat

P.S. It’s really good. Seriously.

This entry was posted in fanficBy Pat37 Responses

37 Comments

  1. Cusick
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:27 PM | Permalink

    So are you going to post it to your LJ account?

  2. Chro
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:27 PM | Permalink

    So the question I’m sure is on everybody’s mind:Fanfic based off of what?

  3. Captain Joe
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:30 PM | Permalink

    Oh, Pat, we’ve all been guilty of at least <>reading<> fanfiction.Tell me, is it fanfic based on another book, or fanfic based on media, such as Days of Our Lives?If it be the latter, then I pray the Collider Prophecy of Doom is swift and painless in its execution, for the last of my heroes – fuzzy pink cat-ear hat or not – will have torn down his own pedestal.In a related query – anyone catch the live strem of the LHC. I went out for pizza and beer and then couldn’t get back on CERN.In other news, I picked up and read The Road to Levinshir – awesome stuff, Pat, it made me realise Kvothe is someone to be feared. It really, really did. I recommend it to all who are desperate for April ’09, to ease the pain.All the best.

  4. Pat
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:30 PM | Permalink

    I bet that is the question, isn’t it?

  5. greg
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:32 PM | Permalink

    you’re looking at it the wrong way, pat. as a published author, if you write something that is based in another author’s universe you aren’t writing fanfic, you’re coming up with the basis for a story collaboration.also, why are you writing fanfic instead of KKC2? Also, why did you choose a series title that isn’t fun to abbreviate like LotR, WoT or ASoIaF? I mean, NotW works well but The King Killer Chronicles? There are no vowels!

  6. Pat
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:37 PM | Permalink

    Joe: I never have. Honest. The only one I’ve ever read is the one for my own book that I posted up here a few months ago.

  7. Jessica
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:48 PM | Permalink

    Uh, no, the question in my mind is, when are you going to put it somewhere we can _read_ it!

  8. Jeff
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 12:53 PM | Permalink

    Pat, do you have any plans on posting your fantastic fanfic?

  9. Maria Stahl
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 1:05 PM | Permalink

    I know! I know! It’s Dr. Horrible fanfic. Right? Let’s see: You’re joining a collab on backstories for the ELOE. How about… a story about Bad Horse’s posse?

  10. Todd Moses
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 1:22 PM | Permalink

    Maybe the pink catgirl/muppet crossbreed thing is his super power that will get him into the ELOE?

  11. Dischord
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 2:45 PM | Permalink

    I know! It’s a Pink Pugilist / Moist slash fic!

  12. Jon S
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 3:06 PM | Permalink

    Don’t worry. The first particles aren’t supposed to collide for another 30 days. You have enough time to sing in the shower for thirty more days while wearing your fuzzy pink kitty hat (an image which I laughed heartily at), and you have enough time to write a fanfic <>novella<> if you so desire. That is, unless something goes terribly wrong with the LHC before that. Maybe some dumb scientist will crash into it with a shopping cart and then aliens will fly out of it and kill everyone. That would be better than a black hole, though. And all this is only true if I actually know anything.My theory is that it will create another universe or multiple universes, overlapping ours. New dimensions, new layers in time. That would be something.

  13. Laura
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 3:26 PM | Permalink

    @Dischord — Oh, sweet bean roll. Pink Pugilist/Moist slashfic was a challenge to the nekkid-pink-catgirl-shower image. I admire your out-of-the-box thinking, but now I must find bleach for my eyes….@Pat — No, no, Joe has it right. If you have not taken advantage of the great wide world of fanfic, do so. It’s like The Eye of Argon in a never-ending buffet form, all different flavors.I’m betting it’s KKC (now that it’s been acronymized) fanfic. Alternate version.

  14. Jana
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 3:27 PM | Permalink

    i think you’re one of my favorite people on this whole planet, pat. seriously.

  15. marky
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 3:29 PM | Permalink

    Knowing there’s some more fine work coming from yersel, and that I’m not going to slide towards Switzerland today, has made my day that bit brighter. Next up for the crazy Euro scientists, nuke bowling. STEEE-RIKE!!

  16. agilebrit
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 4:31 PM | Permalink

    Count me in as someone who wants to read it…Pretty please?

  17. Kip, Metallic
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 5:16 PM | Permalink

    Peanuts fanfic, ftw!I have a worse image to put in everyone’s mind, Me getting my nipples peirced! Yep did it, last friday, and you don’t even know what I look like, and yet it’s scary!Anyways, definately post it up, or throw it in as bonus material for the special edition of your next book.

  18. wildtheories
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 5:18 PM | Permalink

    Is there any chance that we can read it before the afterlife?yearning, longing, despairing greetings

  19. exlibris
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 7:22 PM | Permalink

    It’s an LHC/CERN fanfic! I’ve been waiting for one of these for YEARS!

  20. logankstewart
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 8:48 PM | Permalink

    northeastiowa mom: fanfic on Dr. Horrible is a brilliant idea. i’m dying to learn more about the thoroughbred of sin, and the extremely familiar looking evil league. and, alas, the death of captain hammer would be nice, too…

  21. Steve
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 9:22 PM | Permalink

    Filk is still murder and fan fic is rape.Hands off other people’s things young man!

  22. Fe2O3
    Posted September 10, 2008 at 10:12 PM | Permalink

    The adventures of the Rothfuss, Beagle, & Gaiman Terraforming Syndicate?“RB&G Terraforming: By the time you get out of bed and have breakfast, they’ve already built an entire world.”I’m interested to see how you can write fanfic without it being immediately obvious you are writing fanfic. Will we ever get the chance to read it, or was this all just a ploy to embed the image of you showering in your pink catgirl hat deeply into our subconscience?(Make it stop, make it stop. The furry pink ewok is singing, make it stop!)

  23. Anonymous
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 3:11 AM | Permalink

    Fanfiction.net NEEDS someone who can actually write GOOD fanfics. Please, make an account. ;)

  24. unique_stephen
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 6:21 AM | Permalink

    Was it about your own book?Was it about Dr Horible?or was it the hideous love child of Hammer and Denna?

  25. Kalligenia
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 3:28 PM | Permalink

    If we guess what you wrote about, will we get to read it?

  26. Amanda
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 4:19 PM | Permalink

    We wants it… we NEEDS it… the precious… give it to us!!!Seriously, Pat, how could you openly announce that you’ve written a fanfic and neither tell us what it’s about nor how we can get our hands on it?!*shakes her fluffy pink hatted head at you*

  27. Mary J.
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 5:52 PM | Permalink

    Now Pat, remember- it’s nice to share. Or we could just go with the gut instinct approach:“gimme, gimme, gimme!”Thanks for the mental image btw. It has successfully been seared here. ;-)>I thought of Dr. Horrible first too…

  28. Anonymous
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 8:02 PM | Permalink

    Captain Joe said: “Oh, Pat, we’ve all been guilty of at least reading fanfiction.” I say: Speak for yourself, friend. That’s a valley that I have no intention of walking, with or without god.

  29. Steve
    Posted September 11, 2008 at 10:23 PM | Permalink

    Pat,I don’t know if this has happened yet, but I’m currently teaching academic English in a psychiatric residential facility, and the first novel I’m teaching in our unit on fantasy is NOTW. If you’d be up for answering some questions or have suggestions on lesson plans drop me a line at stephen.shell at yahoo.comI also just bought 8 paperbacks for my class of eight girls. We’re on chapter 9 :-)Thank you so much for such an awesome book.

  30. Eli
    Posted September 12, 2008 at 12:12 AM | Permalink

    Pat you are the man, and i realize that this is a little late to say, because i have been reading your blog since last Christmas when i first read your book and i never actually commented on one of your post! Anyways, i guess i just felt like i couldn’t post a comment without a grand intro like that, but in regards to your blog, fanfiction is, whether we admit it or not, something we are all guilty of reading..

  31. Laini Taylor
    Posted September 12, 2008 at 1:13 AM | Permalink

    Oh, fanfic of what, I’m so curious. I have never ever ever read any, if you don’t count Jane Austen spin-off novels, which I guess totally count as fanfic. But I am considering writing a story that fits in my OWN universe but doesn’t really have a place in my books (I write middle grade and YA fantasy), and posting it on my website — that’s kind of like fanfic of my own ‘fic’ which is kind of goofy, isn’t it? I guess I just shouldn’t call it that. Just call it a “freebie” or something :-)P.S. I’ve been enjoying your blog, and just bought your book at Powell’s but haven’t read it yet. I read the excerpt in Realms of Fantasy last year and have been <>meaning<> to read it ever since. So here I go!

  32. Luc
    Posted September 12, 2008 at 5:20 AM | Permalink

    Hey! I’ve read your book, while sitting on the crapper, about 5 times. I read Terry Brook’s new book afterward. And then I picked up Acacia, which as it turns out, didn’t interest me all that much. So now I’m back to the Name of the Wind. And I bet you still can’t stop imagining me sitting on the crapper with all these books around me. That will teach you for branding images into my occipital lobe without some warning :P

  33. Jaimo
    Posted September 12, 2008 at 6:53 PM | Permalink

    Thanks Mary J.! I had just forgotten the “mental image” and your post brought it straight back to the forefront of my mind! I’m going to need a couple hours on PersianKitty.com to set things right again!P.S. WE WANT THE FANFIC!!!

  34. Bibi
    Posted September 14, 2008 at 11:21 PM | Permalink

    So do we get to read this alluring fanfic you’ve created?

  35. JAO
    Posted September 14, 2008 at 11:28 PM | Permalink

    FANFIC! FANFIC! FANFIC!

  36. Molly
    Posted September 15, 2008 at 6:55 PM | Permalink

    HiI read your book in an evening. I couldn’t put it down! I know that sounds clicheed, but it’s true…. When is the second Kingkiller Chronicle coming out? It’s the only thing I can read at the moment :( Please write more, and post the fanfic! My friends and I are waiting for you to write more!!! (especially Kingkiller)xxxxxxxxxx

  37. Nan
    Posted September 19, 2008 at 3:35 PM | Permalink

    Okay, I was the “Legalize Denner” hippie-type. (The horrid expression in that photo comes from trying to look like a serious protester… and let me tell you that it’s hard to try to look ANY kind of serious while hanging out with this crowd!) :D Pat’s right: I don’t remember him writing a hippie into the book, either. But I’m sure that that was just an oversight on his part and that he’d MEANT to have one. ;-)Nancy

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