My Fictional Nature

It’s strange to me, knowing that if I write a blog, thousands of people will read it. Thousands and thousands. A ridiculous number of people, really.

It was less strange when I wrote the College Survival Guide for the campus paper. With the column, I knew what my job was. I wanted to make people laugh, and maybe, occasionally, slip a bit of reasonable advice to my unsuspecting readership.

Pure advice is unpalatable. It’s preachy. But if you make people laugh a little, they may not notice you’ve slipped them a little bit of truth. And even if they do notice, they’re more likely to forgive you for it.

I was a tiny bit of a local celebrity when I wrote that column for the campus paper. A few hundred people read it every week. On rare occasion people would recognize me as that-guy-who-writes-that-column. Once, the guy delivering a pizza to my house looked at my name on the credit card receipt and said, “Are you THE Pat?”

I laughed. “I didn’t know I’d become superlative,” I said.

I haven’t done the column for a couple years. These days I channel my humor writing into the blog instead. But there’s a difference. Back then I was a little bit famous because people read my column. Now people read my blog because I’m a little bit famous.

There’s more to it than that, of course. People read the blog because it’s amusing, or because they’re interested in news about upcoming projects and appearances. They tune in because they’re curious about book two, or because they’re looking for writing advice.

But mostly, people read the blog because they read my book and were curious about the author.

So I tell stories and post pictures. I screed and opine. I post up little pieces of my life. Then y’all take those pieces, fit them together, and you form an impression of me in your heads.

This is the interesting thing. It’s something I think about a lot. That person you create in your head out of these bits and pieces. That Pat Rothfuss you get to know from the blog, he’s fictional.

(It’s true that you could say the same thing of anyone. You could say that you don’t really *know* any of your friends or family, you just have flawed impressions of them based on your limited perceptions and experience.

This might be true in some small theoretical way, but in a bigger more practical way it’s pure bullshit. You know your friends. Let’s not become hopelessly meta here. If you follow that line of reasoning too far you end up in the pointless philosophical morass of relativistic solipsism.)

Anyway, my point is this: I think about this fictional Pat Rothfuss sometimes. I wonder what he’s like.

I expect in some ways, fictional Pat is pretty much like me. I’m honest to the point of blinding stupidity, and I talk about things here on the blog that any sensible person would keep quiet about. Anyone who’s ever seen me speak in public can attest to the fact that I can’t help but express myself freely and clearly, even if it’s not entirely appropriate.

Still, I can’t deny that I present an edited version of my life on here. The blog lies by omission. I talk about my signings and answer fanmail. I post a cute picture of my baby and talk about the new foreign edition of my book. I link to an interview and do a fundraiser for my favorite charity.

Given all of that, fictional Pat seems to have a pretty swank life. He seems really nice. He seems kinda cool.

And that makes me feel dishonest, because it’s not really true. You’re putting together the fictional me without the grubby bits. The truth is, I am at times a contemptible human being. The truth is, I have deplorable habits.

For example, when I go on Facebook, I post status updates talking about Dr. Horrible. Or I joke about the dream where I ended up in bed with Willow and Spike. I don’t mention what happened the other day with Oot.

You see, right now Oot loves my beard. In terms of desirability, beard ranks #3 in all creation. Boobs hold the top spot, of course, and the telephone is currently a strong #2. But other than that, he loves nothing more than to clutch at my beard.

I think gripping it appeals to some primal, monkey part of him. He gets his sticky little hands tangled up in the beard, and some piece of his primal baby brain thinks: “Good. I’m safe. If we’re attacked by a predator and forced to run to safety, I won’t be left behind.”

The problem is this: if you don’t have a long beard, you have no idea how painful it is to have it pulled. He could swing from my hair from all I care. He’s even managed to kick me square in the junk several times in an ongoing  campaign of sibling prevention. Those pains are nothing by compairison. Having your beard pulled hurts as much as when you’re walking around barefoot in the middle of the night and you stub your little toe really hard against a table-leg.

Usually I’m able to head him off when he grabs for it, but his motor skills have really been developing lately. So the other day, before I know it, he has both drooly little hands in it up to his forearms, then he yanks on it for everything he’s worth.

“Ahhh!” I shout. “Stop it you little fucker!”

Oot doesn’t seem to mind in the least. For all he knows I’ve just called him by one of his other countless names, (Thunderbutt, Prancibald, The Dampener…) He just laughs and tugs the beard some more, happy to be safe from prowling lions and packs of hyenas.

Still, it’s a shitty thing to say to your baby, and I feel bad about it.

The point is this: I suspect that fictional Pat would never refer to his adorable baby as, “you little fucker.” I suspect he’s better than that. I expect he’s a nicer person than I am.

Part of me thinks, even as I write this, “Of course you don’t talk about those things on the blog. Why *would* you? That’s not why people read the blog. You’re supposed to be putting your best foot forward….”

But then I think about that fictional Pat again, and I feel dishonest. There’s a difference between putting your best foot forward and subtly misrepresenting yourself.

The thing is, professionally, I should be careful here on the blog. If I was going to be smart about this, I’d never talk about sex or politics or religion, never make any jokes that could offend anyone, never tell you a story that makes me looks like the idiot I sometimes am. The smart thing for me to do is carefully groom and maintain this fictional Pat and use him as a promotional tool.

But the truth is, the thought of maintaining that sort of professional persona makes me distinctly uncomfortable. Given the choice, I think I’d rather be too honest and have you like me a little less. I’d much prefer to look like a bit of an ass, because… well… I am a bit of an ass.

So tomorrow I think I’ll post up a story of one of the countless times I’ve made an fool of myself in public. Maybe I’ll tell a few of those stories. I don’t know if they’ll help round out the fictional Pat some of you have come to know, but I expect it will make me feel a little bit less like a poser.

Barring that, it should be good for a laugh or two.

See y’all tomorrow….


This entry was posted in a few words you're probably going to have to look up, BJ Hiorns Art, blogging, College Survival Guide, emo bullshit, ethical conundra, my beard, Oot, things I shouldn't talk aboutBy Pat113 Responses


  1. Deborah Wolf
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:20 PM | Permalink

    This only makes me like you more…fictional you, real you, I don’t give half a damn. Thanks for the best blog post I’ve ever read, you just made my day.

    • Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:40 PM | Permalink

      Oh hell yes. WordPress allows threaded comments. This is fucking awesome…

      • Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:17 PM | Permalink

        Yes, threaded comments are awesome. I do wish the full post would show up in my RSS feed, though. I’m just getting post summaries. I know this isn’t a thing WordPress is forcing on you; is there a reason you set it up like this?

      • Black Badger
        Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:45 PM | Permalink

        Hey Pat,
        New format is awesome, but there looks to be some trouble in WordPress land. It looks like there’s a missing image after “That Pat Rothfuss you get to know from the blog, he’s fictional.”. Good post though, and thanks for keeping them coming. I’m using Mozilla Firefox 3.6.3 btw.

        Cheers dude – BlackBadger

        • Posted April 12, 2010 at 10:59 PM | Permalink

          I can see it just fine….

          • BlackBadger
            Posted April 13, 2010 at 11:46 AM | Permalink

            I still only have a blank space with no image or graphic. What should it be? I do the the awesome/disgusting one below of you scarffing a lard-cream cone. IT’s no biggie, I just wanted you to know some people might be experiencing difficulties.

            Cheers – BB

      • Jason
        Posted April 12, 2010 at 7:11 PM | Permalink

        Oh, that is awesome. Threaded comments are yet another major brick in the edifice of civilized online discourse.

      • Gordon Tetlow
        Posted April 13, 2010 at 12:16 PM | Permalink

        How about nested threaded comments?

    • Victor from Canada
      Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:46 AM | Permalink

      I agree entirely with Deborah – this was a fantastic post. I think that everyone realizes that you can’t give us the 100% true you (some things shouldn’t be in writing), but I really enjoy when you give little glimpses.

    • Kat A - Eh!
      Posted April 25, 2010 at 12:26 PM | Permalink

      Hello Mr. Pat,

      I just finished reading your novel today, April… hm… 25 (had to check)…
      generally when I feel a book has really captivated me it seems I go straight to the computer to find out more. Well, one website led to the next and here I found myself. First time reading a “blog” (yes, I know – welcome to the 21st century!). Well, do you know that when you write your blog you sound uncanily like Kvothe? So I figure, for all those impatient buggers out there they should just read your blog, I laughed just as much with your novel as I have with your story about your “little fucker” (even now it makes me giggle).

      Well, enough babbling – I’m not an author afterall!!

      • miska1967
        Posted May 24, 2010 at 1:27 PM | Permalink

        To Kat A-Eh! (I think?)

        just as you, I’ve enjoyed Pat’s blog. I don’t have a beard, but I do have 3 “little fuckers” of my own, and totally understand where he’s coming from on this.

        By the way this is the first time I’ve ever replied to Pat’s blog in fact…heck, I had to OMG…_register_. Anyway Kat, just wanted to ask if you were British, or Australian? I can almost hear a non-American but English-speaking as native language accent in your writing….

        kick me if I’m wrong, that’s ok, I can handle the virtual punishment…I just enjoyed your response to Pat’s blog.

  2. Rev. Russ J. Roach
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:22 PM | Permalink

    I too have had a manly beard and I know too well the pains little ones can impose upon it.

    I feel rather tempted to get into a philosophical debate with you, but as always, 1) When are you coming to Australia? 2) When is book 2 due?.

    Regardless, enjoy your son and may you have many more.


  3. Rei
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:25 PM | Permalink

    Babies are human too. If someone came up to me, took my glasses, and started to chew on them I would be pretty annoyed and probably curse their name for a week for each scratch. Where as a baby would still annoy me for each scratch, but it would come without the cursing due to a lack of opportunity for knowledge on their part.

    So calling your child a bad word in the heat of the moment isn’t bad as long as its not constant.

    (I have a friend whose pet/baby name from their mother was “Sh!thead”. To the point that I got a little offended the first time she called me that after I did something particularly awesome.)

  4. Bob
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:26 PM | Permalink

    So I take it that real Pat’s like is more like this. You have spent most of the money you made on your first book. You and your girlfriend are getting by on her income, food stamps, and selling blood. You are down to eating ramen noodles.

    your heat was turned off over the winter due to non-payment of bills. Plus you are steadily gaining weight from sitting in front of the keyboard or xbox all day long, but you don’t have medical insurance so you ignore the chest pain and just hope it goes away.

  5. Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:33 PM | Permalink

    Hey, Pat, I’m glad that you’re brutally (and hilariously) honest in your blog posts. It’s actually something I’m trying to do with my own blog (though I have a mere 10 readers to your thousands), but I never imagined how difficult it would be. I’m constantly worried about who I’m going to offend, and sometimes have to work really hard to not edit something I might not want my mom to read (she’s one of my 10 readers). But in the end, I find that when I post something honest, the people who comment are honest, too. And I like that. It might not always be pretty, but it still makes me feel good about myself (and not in a smug way… more like I did the right thing, using my powers for good instead of evil). I hope you get the same thing out of it that I do, and that you continue to share things with us.

    :) Becky

  6. Regina
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:37 PM | Permalink

    A fictional Pat with no shortcomings would be someone with which only arrogant fools could identify. I like you more because you admit that not only are you a human being with flaws (even if they’re hilarious), but your flaws make you a human being.

    Come to Denver one of these days. Tea shall be had.

  7. Sarah
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:38 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat. I feel the same way about some of the emails I send and the blogs I write. My response has also been to post a few items that make me look less than awesome. Sometimes I’m still not able to shake the feeling that I’m lying to everyone. But I’ve also found that they still like me even after I show them my inner asshole. So maybe the times when I’m cool outweigh the times when I’m being a (in)complete(?) jerk and maybe I’m not so bad, in the end.

  8. Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:40 PM | Permalink

    No worries… parents all have those moments when we look at our children like little blood-sucking vermin that are draining us of life. (-; Any seasoned parent who claims to have never screwed up even a little is the real poser! Still an adoring fan! Good to know you’re human like me!

  9. Paul
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:41 PM | Permalink

    Might be the funniest blog yet……The Dampener….LMAO

  10. Ben
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:42 PM | Permalink

    Oh Pat, it just shows you’re human like the rest of us. And those little quirks turn out to be quite endearing. So you’re goal of divulging the “true Pat” is only going to cause us to like you more. Guess you just can’t win :)

  11. Hex
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:44 PM | Permalink

    I (kinda) know you ya feel, Pat. There are times when my dog does a few unmentionable, irritating things and it gets to the point where I’m calling my dog censored names that he can’t even understand. But through it all… I feel bad after calling him those names and later try to make it up to him with treats and love. I know dogs aren’t entirely like children, but there is still that sentimental attachment.

    And for those of us who have met you (say, at a reading, Q&A or just starting through your bedroom window), feel that the blog does represent you. At least it does to me. You don’t come across as phony or that you are being at all dishonest about who you are. The fact that you’ve opted to omit a few details about your life that we, the reader, do not need to have access to is perfectly fine. You may be a public figure (in a sense), but you and your family are welcome to your privacy and should feel free to divulge as much or at little as you see fit.

    The angelic image of you that I have in my mind suits me just fine. :)

    And completely off-topic… to post a comment, we have to enter a couple words in a li’l box to make sure we’re human. I wonder if the site is trying to tell me something when the words I have to enter are “he dieted”. Hmm…

  12. Sam
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:47 PM | Permalink

    Eh, cussing is a pain reaction for speaking creatures. My failure as a biologist tells me the instinctive reaction goes Feel pain > remove self from pain > make causer of pain feel bad about themselves through verbal means. It’s clear you don’t actually hate your baby even if you occasionally express your dislike at something he does. You’d be a liar if you said you like everything he does.

    I call my cats mean things all the time (They’re pretty non-descriminate about where they swing those claws), but I don’t feel bad about it despite how cute, fluffy and affectionate they are. It’s probably a little different for a baby, but not by much. Neither understand what it is you said. What you really have to watch out for is when Oot reaches a stage where he actually picks up on what you say and repeats it back at you.

    • Tania
      Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:57 PM | Permalink

      *remembers my two year old sister walking into the room, putting her hands on her hips, looking around and asking solemnly and loudly, “where is that buggering cat?”*
      My Mum looked so guilty…

    • Kp Keane
      Posted April 12, 2010 at 2:50 PM | Permalink

      it is known in the biologist world that cursing does actually have a dampening affect on pain. How often have you stubbed your toe and sworn like a sailor and then keep walking compared to how often you stub your toe and hiss a little and limp away?

      Kinda cool actually!

      Kp Keane

  13. Charles C
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:50 PM | Permalink

    I disagree with your conclusion. The smart thing to do is not to polish up ‘Professional Pat’ into a paragon of virtue in the hopes that he’ll help you sell more books. It doesn’t work that way, certainly not in today’s world. You’re going to sell alot of books because you’re a fantastic writer, well on your way to becoming a wordsmith. You’ve created a world where the characters are compelling and the action and suspense have an authentic quality to them.

    You MAY sell more books because of ‘Professional Pat’ but not if you polish him up so far that it removes all realism. People hate that. Those blogs are BORING. Readers may occasionally check them out but very few will follow them obsessively. And those readers that do follow them obsessively would have bought your book anyway. People these days have a high BS detector and woe to the author that sets it off.

    As far as ‘professional pat’ being fictional creation through omission: well duh. That’s true of anyone, but especially true of anyone with a public face. What important is that the things that you do say are true.

    If they’re not, then you’ve learned to fake sincerity and you’ve got it made.

  14. Ea
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:52 PM | Permalink

    Wow, that was incredibly profound… heheheh I’m a fan of your works Pat, though I’ve only read one, still, its the best book I’ve ever read. I love it and I’ve come to love you as an author, as a blogger and now as the honest human being that you are. No one in this world is ever so perfect. And everyone has a dark side. My vision of fictional Pat or real Pat hasn’t changed that much, he’s still an awesome writer. A perfectly human awesome individual. :)

  15. Tania
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:52 PM | Permalink

    I like that you’re honest on your blog, I think the world has too many media darlings who talk in soundbites and have no real emotions or humanity. I think this world is crying out for more people to just be themselves!
    (but then I’m a counsellor, so I’m going to think that!)

    Fictional Pat is alarmingly like one of my closest friends – over 6 ft tall, dark and hairy, physicist, role-player, damn good writer, someone who can’t hide his true opinions on stuff.
    You have two differences, you’re american and a dad :) you might have a third difference if you don’t play guitar…

    Don’t ever change!
    (unless you become more awesome)

  16. Ali
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:53 PM | Permalink

    I know how it is having a long beard and having people pull on it. I had a beastly beard late in high school and everyone’s favorite pastime was to yank on it with full force. I would scream and they would have a little laugh. It was horrible. But no matter how hard they pulled, the pain and agony would never match the horror I felt the day when someone decided to light it on fire. I was walking through the hallway when one of my “friends” at the time decided to bring a lighter to my chin and incinerate all that I had worked to grow. Not only was my beard of 3 years gone, but I had the nasty ‘burnt hair’ smell right underneath my nose all day. I can assure you, I screamed out “you little fucker” plenty of times that day.

    This was many years ago though and I’ve long learned my lesson. Now I keep my beard trimmed and at a reasonable length, so that I don’t become a toy for everyone’s pleasure.

    Don’t worry too much about swearing a bit in times like this. Every once in a while you just need to express the agony within your own mind.

  17. Wafaa
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:54 PM | Permalink

    Aw, I think I prefer round Pat much better than fictional Pat… It’s much easier to like non-perfect people.
    Don’t feel too bad about saying that to Oot, if I count the whole lot of times my mom lost it a little raising us four kids, I’m shocked that they’re not quadruple that amount.

  18. Scott
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:56 PM | Permalink

    I always find it refreshing to see glimpses of the real person behind the fictional persona, so keep sharing! Also, calling Oot a little fucker at this age is not a big deal…I can’t count how many times I did that when my little one was his age. You just can’t do it when he starts talking. Then goes to day care and calls another kid or a teacher a little fucker. That always makes for a fun conversation with the Day Care staff.

  19. Melody
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:58 PM | Permalink

    Hey Pat!!! for yours and my education and edification:

    I looked up a few words in that post, just as you said I would! and, huzzah, I have learned something I can pass back to you. One cannot screed. It is a noun!

    Glad you are loving your new blog interface!!!

  20. Will Rogers
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:00 PM | Permalink

    I used to blog a bit back in the day before blog engines were around, and I once wrote something similar on the subject of author vs. actual person.

    Scroll down to the 2001.08.18 entry. It’s the 5th post down.

  21. Fletcher
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:03 PM | Permalink

    Why do I keep getting the feeling that Real Pat is scarily similar to myself?

    Manly beard? Check.
    Wrote for college newspaper? Check
    Teaches college students? Check
    Writing? Check
    Honest to the point of tactless hilarity? Check
    Born in the north-central US in a state bordering Lake Superior? Check
    Historically good with hard sciences? Check
    Changed to, and then abandoned, studying psychology? Check (twice)
    Joss Whedon? Check


  22. Melody
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:06 PM | Permalink

    hmm, thought I already posted this, but apparently I was unsucessful!

    Pat, I did have to look up some of the words you used, and I learned something which I simply must pass on to you. You have made an error. I know, in a blog where you are speaking of your human flaws for me to point out another just seems cruel, but for the good of your career!!!

    You can’t screed. It is a noun not a verb.


  23. TR
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:08 PM | Permalink

    the fact you have the cojones to even post this speaks volumes about your character my friend. Any true fan appreciates brutal honesty over marketing stooge every time. I will continue to recommend your book to all lost souls in the fantasy section (which is exactly the same way I was introduced to your book).
    Thanks for the laughs…

  24. Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:15 PM | Permalink


    Please continue to be yourself, it makes me like you more as an author. Really, if someone is soo silly as to stop reading your books because of something you write here, fuck them. I hate Orson Scott Card, I still liked the Ender series, and I’ll read it again, even if he is a douch-bag.

    Personally, I like you, and imagine in may fantasy-land that if I were your neighbor we would be good friends.

    Keep being you… hey, at least you’ve never referred to your daughter as a “dirty little c…” (either have I, but my buddy did once when she accidentally kicked him in his daddy button… said while grunting and collapsing in a heap) We are all shocked, but got over it pretty quickly.. after a good amount of laughing at him about his incredible pain :D

    What is it about our kids kicking us in the twig & berries anyway? My daughter (2 years old) does it on a regular basis… If it is about trying to remain the only child, she has little to worry about, I’m happy with one :D Personally I think it is just keeping us in place…

  25. Christina
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:19 PM | Permalink

    @Melody re: screed —

    “A screed, in the journalism industry, generally refers to a long, informal, biased piece of writing. It is commonly used in reference to a written “rant”.”

    I think it works just perfectly. :D

    As always, Pat.. the more “real” you are the more we like you so you just can’t win. Being human is something to which most of us can relate. :P

    -The girl you owned on Facebook via Jaime’s name & my misuse of an apostrophe. <3

  26. Little My
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:26 PM | Permalink

    Each of my three children, when a toddler, has given me a bloody nose (flailing backwards when sitting in my lap, or just grabbing my nose and getting a sharp little fingernail up there). I thought I was doing pretty well not to return the favor. Ouch! The youngest one has also gone through stages of cheerfully biting, pinching, and pulling hair. Just, you know, to see what kind of response he could get.

    I can totally relate to the bad language, and I’m sure he didn’t take it too personally. Made me think of an article I read, New York Times I think, about how “Yelling is the New Spanking” and all these parents are feeling terribly guilty about hollering at their kids these days.

    RE the blog – My opinion is that a lot of funny people are not really very nice. Kind of using humor as a power play over other people, both making fun of other people and also having the power to get them to laugh. It’s a rare thing to find someone who writes as if there was some affection for fellow humans somewhere behind the pen (keyboard, whatever). As for how much your blog persona is a construct that doesn’t reflect the real you, that is completely the privilege of the blogger. I’m not expecting any kind of James Freyish fabrications, but as far as I’m concerned, sins of omission are not misleading. There’s no need to blog about your personal difficulties and garbage just to reassure your readers that you’re human. We know it’s there, just as I know my neighbors VERY LIKELY use the toilet every day: I don’t have to see it!

    (Plus, we can tell from your books that you’re a great guy.)

  27. Kyle
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:28 PM | Permalink

    sometimes babies are Fuckers. don’t feel bad about calling a spade a spade. thats all.

  28. opsomath
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:33 PM | Permalink

    As the parent of a fairly fresh baby, I belly-laughed at “The Dampener.” And although my luxurious beard has been retired at my wife’s request, the little munchkin is equally enthusiastic about my proud tuft of chest hair, which hurts like a mofo to get tugged. You are not alone in shouting involuntary obscenities as a result of your baby’s depredations, brother!

    Captcha: who jinn. Who jinn? I jinn! Whatup!

  29. Jennifer Rayment
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:39 AM | Permalink

    Pat — I’m referred to both of my boys (Oldest 8, youngest 18 mths) when they were babies as nasty little buggers, spawn of satan, little fucker and evil little bastard. It has kept me sane and I am sure every other parent has done the same I also agree with Scott up above, stopping when they learn to talk is a good idea — because I DID have to have a conversation with the daycare staff about appropriate language. Plus now my 8 yr old boy makes me put a quarter into the swear jar if I cuss — the little bastard ; )
    Real Pat is also VERY generous!

  30. Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:45 AM | Permalink

    Real is ALWAYS more interesting than plastic perfection. Tell us the fun stories.

  31. Mark
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:52 AM | Permalink

    As someone who has been reading your blog since the beginning, I have to admit that even the “fictional Pat” came across as a flawed, real person. It’s why I continue to read and enjoy your blog.

    And calling your baby a little fucker isn’t a problem. Wait until you call him a son of a bitch in front of your wife, then you really begin to have second thoughts.

    Love the new interface, BTW.

  32. Chad
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:57 AM | Permalink

    I hate this new *real* Pat.

    You sir are worse than Hitler.

  33. Peggy Barteau
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 12:00 PM | Permalink

    I think you need to become friends with Scott Lynch :). I love your work and have resigned (with pleasure) myself to reread all books(I do this with my favorit authors anyway) prior to any new books, so I can be in the moment! Than you for the amazing b’zillion words, blood and sweat you have already shared. I hope your remain stress free until 12/2012, then I really would like to have read it….

  34. Scott
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 12:08 PM | Permalink

    I curse at my baby too! Then I feel bad about. Then I do it again. Repeat. I think it comes with the territory.

  35. Posted April 12, 2010 at 12:19 PM | Permalink

    I had similar thoughts while driving over to the Lafayette reading. I was comfortable with the Pat I knew through the blog and the book. My carefully developed author picture was about to be shattered be meeting the “in person” version of Pat (note not The Real Pat). What if I didn’t like him? What if he was a jerk? What if the baby Oot pictured on the blog was just an adorable stand-in for some hideous beast of a were-child? Might I be put off reading book 2, book 3, and other Rothfuss books? Might I stop recommending the book to friends, relatives, and anyone who would listen?
    So I decided than, just about as I was driving over the Wabash for the second time, that I wasn’t going to let it matter. I didn’t know The Real Pat, wasn’t going to meet him, and never would. Besides, what I enjoyed were the books, and it would take a great effort on the part of the author to get me to stop reading them (see: Orson Scott Card).
    So you arrived and The Public Pat was fine, although a bit smaller and less Hobbit-ish than my imaginings. I had a great time, Oot stole the evening (and made my wife glad she went, BTW), and here I am still reading the blog.
    So my response? Don’t sweat it.

  36. Karen
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 12:56 PM | Permalink

    Silly boy…my fictional Pat would totally call Oot a “little fucker”. Tis part of the Rothfuss charm. Don’t worry though…I know he never really means it.

  37. Doug
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 1:02 PM | Permalink

    Lol Pat – everybody was a little fucker at some time, nothing wrong with pointing out little Oot’s ingrained flaws!

    My daughter, the mischevious, possibly evil, little bitch that she is had a similar habit when she was about Oot’s age. She would climb up on my lap, cock her head to the side, bat her tiny little eyelashes, give me the cutest “I love you daddy!” grin… as her hand was sneaking up my sides for a handful of armpit hair to swing from. All things considered, “you little fucker!” sums the situation up pretty well.

    Just be careful though! Otherwise, like me, you’ll be walking through Wal-Mart one day and lil Oot will be giving his best effort to call the slow people in front of you “Fucktards!”… luckily, they thought she was adorable and couldn’t figure out why she would point to them and yell “buckbards!” Oops.

    Hi5 to hilarious bloggers and buckbards everywhere!

  38. Hellebora
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 1:12 PM | Permalink

    I didn’t think I could put you on a higher pedastal than you already are in my opinion but to put that kind of thinking out there just makes me respect you even more. Honesty is seriously under-rated and I salute you for it sir!

  39. Justin Stodola
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 1:28 PM | Permalink

    I think you’re touching a bit on what Margaret Atwood was getting at when she said, “Wanting to meet an author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like paté.”

    Of course, like most of the best analogies, it’s a bit of a stretch. But, I think she’s correct at the core: most readers dropping by expect to “meet” the fictional Pat Rothfuss, not the guy with a little fucker an Oot swinging from his chin. I think they’ll be pleasantly surprised if what they find is a bit more real.

    Go for what you want. Make a fool of yourself. Expound on the superiority of the Hero system. Whatever. It’s your blog, dammit.

    • kerys
      Posted April 13, 2010 at 5:12 AM | Permalink

      The superiority of the Hero system can never be expounded upon too much.

  40. Kimberly
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 1:35 PM | Permalink

    I like to think you’re human, not some paragon of perfection that none of us could compare to. You shit and sometimes don’t manage to wipe it all just like the rest of us.

    I’m not sure, if you were the “professional Pat” all the time, I think it’d discourage me from reading the blog, reading the College Survival Guide, pre-ordering the upcoming books and wanting you to come to New Mexico.

    You’re a normal guy, with a sexy lady, a cute as a button baby, and you happen to write a damn fine piece of literature. You’re still awesome.

    Haha!!! The Captcha is awesome. Seems like it’s something Robin would say to Batman. “Caesars gas”

  41. Amanda
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 1:48 PM | Permalink

    Dear Pat,
    We all love you. If anything, we love you MORE because you’re honest. And I would honestly have said something much worse to Oot for that, because I have such a short temper. Although this is a contributing factor in me choosing (hoping) not to have children.
    And the “a few words you’re probably going to have to look up” tag is my FAVORITE tag.

  42. Posted April 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM | Permalink

    Pat, it’s really the simple things like this that keep make people like you. Well… that and you crazy wittisisms (is that a word?). And besides at least 50% of us lost or misplaced our halos at some point in time, so your straight up tell it like it is blogs are freaking amazing and quite refreshing.

    The captcha I got is halarious.. ‘go crucify’

  43. Juhan
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 2:49 PM | Permalink

    Dear Pat,

    worry less about what people expect and just express yourself the way you feel you have to. Sometimes the most interesting thoughts are the ones that are also somewhat dark or risky or even painful. Reading something that’s honest in a way that is unexpected… without any self-defensive jokes or gags to take the edge off… is awesome.

    (Well okay, SOME self-defensive jokes are fine :D)

    But yeah. I don’t want to sound like a über-depressing or anything here, but… You are/can be hilarious, no question. But all know that – so you don’t have to prove it constantly, or worry about how you should present yourself to your readers. Sometimes a little ambivalence makes us appreciate the jokes even more and not get too comfortable/used to them.



  44. patricknotrothfuss
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 2:52 PM | Permalink

    Dear Pat,

    I am cozily enjoying my third reading of the Name of the Wind. I have to do it somewhat in secret ever since I revealed to my girlfriend that I’d fallen in love with Denna. I hope Kvothe doesn’t get too upset, but I think he’d understand. Anyways, I’m glad that fictional Pat doesn’t tell the whole story, because as a fellow bearded Patrick I feel a sense of profound lacking when I read of your exploits. I look forward to reading about your failings tomorrow, and I hope they are as hilarious as your triumphs.

    Patrick NotRothfuss

  45. Ana
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 2:55 PM | Permalink

    Well…I don’t mean to be preachy as you said. But I’m just telling you from experience that you might want to get out of the habit of using curse words. I know it’s just a reaction. You don’t really mean what you said. It’s just a word that comes easy because you do repeat it a lot. But when your kid is three and he’s running around calling people fuckers trust me no one will find it funny! I’m puertorrican and I used to say ‘cabrona’ a lot! I liked how generic of a word it is. When you see a good movie, IT was ‘cabrona’. My best friend was my favorite ‘cabrona’. If something stinks -‘tiene una peste cabrona!’ See? ain’t it magical? Well, Gabo my son got into the habit of saying it too and called my Mom cabrona!!!! She was so…I don’t know…hurt? And I felt like crap. From all the positive things I could’ve done for Gabo; I had to go and give him a potty mouth. Well, I’m not telling ya’ll how to do things but I thought I might share my shame with you. It’s cleansing to just let your shit out! ;)

  46. Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:04 PM | Permalink

    Firstly and most importantly, I love the word solipsism (phew.. managed to spell it right) and secondly, I really like your blog whoever you may pretend to be. The honest style is a winner, only politicians gain by correctness. Keep on going and keep on posting. Your blog and Neil Gaiman’s made me start blogging myself. So.. Eh.. Thanks, I guess?

  47. Rob Hudak
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:13 PM | Permalink

    Thank you for inspiring my day, Mr. Rothfuss. It was a bit sterile and drab until I intruded upon your humanity. :)

  48. Brandon
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:34 PM | Permalink

    Flaws make characters believable. We love you for them.

  49. amber
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:42 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat,

    The Name of the Wind came highly recommended to me from a girl in my bookclub that is not usually known to champion fantasy books. Fantasy is not usually a genre to which I gravitate, but after hearing her gush about it, I picked it up and threw it on my TBR shelf. I finally got around to starting it last month and finished it up this weekend. (I’m usually a fast reader, but a lot of life stuff got in the way of my reading time recently) I just wanted to let you know that I loved the book and in some ways, I’m so glad it took me a long while to finish it because I got to live in that world longer than I had anticipated. You’ve created such an interesting world and a fabulous main character in Kvothe. I love character driven books and this one has that in spades. I’ve already passed the book along to a friend and have recommended it several others. Thank you for writing such a great book and I’m looking forward to books 2 and 3.


  50. xjm
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:44 PM | Permalink

    “Wanting to meet an author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like paté.”

    This is delicious. I want desperately to make some clever comment about a Pat-paté, but I cannot think of anything.

    I’ve often thought that writing autobiographically, even simply blogging or journaling, is a way of rearranging life to make it manageable. That best includes taking the troubling things about oneself and chewing on them until they are digestible.

  51. Amber
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:55 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat,

    The Name of the Wind came highly recommended to me from a girl in my bookclub that is not usually known to champion fantasy books. Fantasy is not usually a genre to which I gravitate, but after hearing her gush about it, I picked it up and threw it on my TBR shelf. I finally got around to starting it last month and finished it up this weekend. (I’m usually a fast reader, but a lot of life stuff got in the way of my reading time recently)  I just wanted to let you know that I loved the book and in some ways, I’m so glad it took me a long while to finish it because I got to live in that world longer than I had anticipated. You’ve created such an interesting world and a fabulous main character in Kvothe. I love character driven books and this one has that in spades. I’ve already passed the book along to a friend and have recommended it several others. Thank you for writing such a great book and I’m looking forward to books 2 and 3.


  52. JM Skrotex
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:13 PM | Permalink

    I like to picture my Fictional Pat Rothfuss with an angel-winged band and a tuxedo shirt, singing lead for Skynard…and I’m in the front row and I’m hammered drunk.

  53. Ambu
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:14 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat

    First time poster, long time reader (dead-tree and digital). I wanted to post to ask:

    Have you by any chance read “Borges and me”, by Borges? I think you will like it.

    Thanks for the awesome blog!

  54. Tim Gannon
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:21 PM | Permalink

    I find that I am in agreement with you. My girls are now 14 and 18 y/o, but I have had some very juvenile, immature, and irritable moments where I was far less than I could be. I would feel bad about it after and try to be better in the future but still I was not acting out the image that others had of me. I am a big believer in being honest and showing my weaknesses and “dumb shit” sides when they appear. After all I am human and I would rather laugh or shake my head at those sides than hide them from myself or others. May have my weaknesses but a big ego is not one of them and I think we are both better men for it. Consequently, I still think if I lived near you, I would be happy to hang out, drink some beers, watch our kids, just chat about life and call you my friend. You are okay in my book.

  55. Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:21 PM | Permalink

    Dude, I can’t tell you the number of times my little girl has done something painful to my body causing me to inadvertently yell out, “What the fuck, Sophie?”. Or some variation of profanity thereof. Its an “occupational” hazard, made worse for those of us who hadn’t managed to curtail our cursing before marriage (like my wife).

    I’ve been good, and I actually curse rarely enough that people saying “That’s fucked up shit, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.. Fucker.” on the bus, is starting to bother me.

    But the random suddenness of Baby Punches, is still enough to evoke a hearty “Pissshit!”. I think its muscle memory.

  56. Jonathan Smith
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 4:59 PM | Permalink

    Well, I too know the pains of the beard pulling, so much so that I trimmed about 2 inches off mine when my little one got to the beard pulling stage. She still does it now, but not as much, but I definatly feel your pain.

  57. Kevin
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:16 PM | Permalink

    I like reading your blogs for the same reason I enjoyed your book, or for the same reason I will read a particular columnist in a newspaper. I’m either entertained or intrigued, or enlightened in some way.

    Though, I think ‘refreshed’ is more apt for this particular blog.

    From the age 3-7, I used to kick my dad square in the junk whenever we’d play wrestle. I knew I couldn’t overpower him, so I fought like a primal hominid and used the available resources: my foot and his nuts.

    I remember the last time I ever did that. After recovering in the master bedroom for what seemed like hours, he came to me in my room with a sour look on his face. I paused my game of Shinobi on Sega, and put down my controller, expecting the worse.

    My dad simply said, “If you ever do that again, I’ll send you to a boarding school full of abusive nuns.”

    Looking back I applaud him. Simply telling me not to kick him there hadn’t worked before. I never kicked him in the nuts again, nothing could be worse for a kid then a boarding school full of nuns.

  58. Myles
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:33 PM | Permalink

    I’m not sure if you read all of these posts, but you are one cool cat. Maybe you’ve had bad experiences in your past, and I know you don’t measure up to Neil Gaiman and Felicia Day, the King and Queen of coolness, but… You’re my hero.

  59. Tone
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:46 PM | Permalink

    Pat. You’re exceptionally weird and loveable.

    Your one of those people who actually can make me laugh. It’s not that I’m without humour it’s just not often that I outright laugh at something I read . It’s weird, I’m weird, let’s leave it at that. Anyway, I was sitting in a lecture at the University I attend here in Norway and reading your blog. I wasn’t paying attention to the professor, I know it wasn’t nice of me, but we were covering something I already knew and didn’t really have to be there. So I was reading the whole bit about the Zombie debate thing and I couldn’t hold it in. I started laughing. Out loud. In a room filled with people I didn’t really know. And this wasn’t a chuckle, or a giggle, I practically roared with laughter. Not one of my most glorious moments, but this just shows how extraordinarly awesome you are.

    Well, don’t stop writing! Even if it’s fictional you or real you, you make me laugh either way ^^

    (Sidenote: excuse my grammar and such, I know that most likely there are some mistakes, it’s 3 years since I studied abroad in Wisconsin and going back to Norway has dumbdown my English… -_-)

  60. Vincent
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:51 PM | Permalink

    Posting pictures is no longer a problem, I see!

  61. Pete
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:56 PM | Permalink

    Pat, I am a hopeless book junkie. I read several books a week, and subscribe to a dozen blogs by authors I like and respect. You are the only one I react to with an “oh cool” when I see a new post by you in my google reader.

    Keep up the great work! On paper and online.

  62. EstherH
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 6:24 PM | Permalink

    I constantly talk about you to my friends and your insane awesomeness. Through reading your blogs and the very limited interaction I’ve had with you, I’ve created this opinion and stuck with it. This blog makes me feel a little better. I am quite often an ass myself and very rarely feel any need to hide it. Of course outside of family and friends very few people could care less whether or not I quite frequently do and say quite terrible things. I love the fact that you are openly admitting to having faults and not always being “the best person out there”. This blog just gives me another reason to rave about your personality and amazing writing skills to practically everyone I know.

  63. Olivia M.
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 6:47 PM | Permalink

    The you that we see may be fictional, but in the words of the chick from *Juno*:
    ” I sort of liked becoming furniture in your weird life.”
    It is nice that you give us pieces of who you are even if they aren’t all of you. We like being able to be furniture in your life. You seem like a cool dude and that just makes me love your book even more. Thank you for putting it out there!

  64. Posted April 12, 2010 at 6:57 PM | Permalink

    I first heard of Pat Rothfuss when my Nain mentioned a book-cover she had seen in passing that she thought I may like. I then googled my butt off and found your blog here.

    I thought that you [or Web Pat, Pat 2.o, Fictional Pat, Pat The Man] were such an honest, real guy – from what I had read – that I immediately went out and bought The Name of the Wind.

    So I just wanted to say that it works both ways, and you’re awesome. Basically.

    Also, if you fill your beard with honey; a) It hurts less when Oot pulls it, b) You can slowly but surely cultivate that “I’m a cave-man, I live in a cave” look that beardies are always looking for and c) Never again will Oot have to tug the beard-o-doom ’cause the little tyke can just stick straight on to it with no fear of being left behind in the cave when you go a-huntin’.

  65. Arc Jones
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 8:38 PM | Permalink

    No one reading your blog expects you to be the real you. Hell, even close friends are rarely their real selves around each other.
    And from a father of two, don’t feel too bad about the ‘fucker’ comment. It happens. You can’t separate the real you from parent you all the time. Nor would you want to. You just have to do it when it counts.

  66. Ben D
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 9:09 PM | Permalink

    I think you’re too hard on yourself, Pat. We’re the benefactors though, so don’t change.

  67. Brandy Snyder
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 9:52 PM | Permalink

    Thank you, Pat, for both using the phrase “relativistic solipsism” and displaying your acumen in parental roles (“you little fucker”) in the same post. I laughed so hard I peed a little.

    Also, why is my captcha “decaf cane?” DOesn’t that sound like a punk band?

  68. Ian
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 9:54 PM | Permalink

    Great post, I can’t remember it at all except that I liked it. That is what happens when you read a post and then go back and read 6 months of blog..ging? I feel like a loser now though because I read about one fundraiser and then another in about 3 days instead of 365 days. And that is a mean thing to say, but things can be forgiven because we all know babies don’t care about how much you hate them. They won’t remember it and you will be fine. (If he does remember, don’t blame me.) Aw crap, I can never do those anti spam things… :(

  69. Christine
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 9:55 PM | Permalink

    I’ll take real Pat over “PR” Pat any day! I don’t have kids, but you should hear the things I call the cat. You’ll just have to be a little more careful when he starts talking. That’s the good thing about pets, they don’t mimic.

  70. Jess
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 10:00 PM | Permalink

    This reminds me of that old Bill Cosby bit:

    “Because of my father, from the ages of 13-17, I thought my name was Jesus Christ.”

    Or something like that.


    Authors, parents, people sometimes fuck up. The fact that you feel like confessing this particular fuck up is a sign that you’re a good guy.

    Just in case you give a shit about the opinion of random internet people (which I sincerely hope you don’t . At least, not much of one.)

    :non-handsey hugs to Pat:

  71. Posted April 12, 2010 at 10:42 PM | Permalink

    Everybody loves a little excitement in their life, we all love you even more for being honest!
    GO PAT!

  72. Maia
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:04 PM | Permalink

    Oh Pat, how boring would your blog be if you were all professional and straightlaced, much better this way and I’m betting professionalfacepat would come off as way more of an asshole since no one likes and unflawed person. Definitely much better this way.

  73. Kvothe's little head
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:54 PM | Permalink

    Relativistic Solipsism destroys the fuck outa me,
    what the fuck I DO PAT??????
    read more of yer books???????

    I hope that helps distract, but for how long damn it?????


  74. Kvothe's little head
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 12:01 AM | Permalink

    The fake you is stable, pat. Strong, and able to laugh, to take in all in stride.

    The fake me is fucked. He’s teetering, Pat. He won’t be able to hold back the river of jizz for much longer. My unknown self is getting louder and I dont like it. It’s gonna destroy me, whatever “me” is.

    what do I do? ]
    Listen to some good music?
    Read MORE YER BOOKS PAT?????
    Only distract a little longer.
    Relativistic Solipsism is a bullshite cow poop steamer euphamism of a feeling that drains my life. Yes, I misspelled shit

    pee pee

  75. Christine Cascino
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 12:59 AM | Permalink

    Hi Pat –
    My dad tells the story of coming home from a 3-week business trip during which time he had grown a (rather bushy if the pictures are accurate) mustache. My brother was about 2 years old and I guess he had never seen a mustache. When my father went to give his little son a “Hello” hug and kiss, the kid freaked out, screamed incessantly, and would go nowhere near him. They eventually figuered out that it was the mustache he was afraid of, and it was promptly shaved off in order to stop the the screaming.
    As his sister, I relish the fact that I can make fun of my brother for being afraid of a mustache.
    The point is, just be glad little Oot has an affinity for your facial hair, as opposed to being so scared of it he would scream at the sight of you.
    And, on a related note, I have sometimes refered to my niece, who is just 2 weeks older than Oot. as ” My Beautiful Little Shit Machine”. She dosn’t seem to mind.

  76. Michael
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 1:37 AM | Permalink

    Just because you slip doesn’t make you awful. As far as honesty, we derive grander truths from the fabrications you weave! Plus I know that you’re a good person because one can’t dilute all personal feeling from a work they create (your novel reflects ideals of which I wholeheartedly approve)…so there, I guess. Just don’t go philosophizing (as you say, meta gets muddy); those guys are terrible writers.

  77. Miguel from Spain
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 4:14 AM | Permalink

    What i like from your blog is that i see a real guy, like me and so many others, who loves writing, reading, talking about life. Someone with the same problems i have, the same good things in life. And he wrote a book that make me read again as i haven’t read for years. Normal people can do great things, and this is not mistycism, it’s a fact.

    All i can say is thanks. Thanks Pat.

  78. kerys
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 5:24 AM | Permalink

    I don’t have anything to say, but my captcha is “last dowagers” and it just needed to be shared.

  79. Posted April 13, 2010 at 5:46 AM | Permalink

    I don’t think the real pat is that far off from the fictional. One can’t fake sincerity. Even if you just posted this to get us to say something like “heeey, thats not it” to make you feel better.

    And from the guy who said “I know, it’s like a lame threesome.”, calling your baby a little fucker when he plucks your beard is not that off. :)

  80. Susan Mellinger
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 6:56 AM | Permalink

    Ha. Anyone who has a baby knows exactly where you are coming from, bearded or no. We all have big red shiny blinking buttons (metaphorically speaking) and right after they master nursing and pooping, babies learn to push them with all their might. And we lose it, once or twice or a dozen or so times. Thank you for writing this – it makes you, not an ass, but more human. (Or, if I want to get all hopelessly meta here, I could say something pithy about how being an ass sometimes is kind of the definition of being human. But it’s pre-breakfast and pre-coffee. So I won’t.)

  81. PJ
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 7:56 AM | Permalink

    Actually, I read your book because of your blog. So there.

    And I have a baby too (born in August). I think her first word is likely to be “fuck”. Or else, “GoddamnitdogstopbarkingorIllkillyou”.

    My personal fictional Pat is a good guy to hang out with, and has just as many flaws as the rest of my friends. The only difference is I don’t necessarily know what the flaws are, I just assume that they’re there. That, and we don’t hang out.

  82. nr
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 8:17 AM | Permalink

    I have something to say!
    People like just a little bit of specific grit in a person. Makes them feel better about their own grit and… if you present something which is more truthful it’s going to be even more approachable in a way… lol why am I bothering to try to say this to an author??
    The point is what I think you need to remember is that as a reader, we know that the pat you present is the ‘blog-pat’. That’s our default assumption because it’s what most people who would write on a blog would write about… I guess in large part because it’s a bit scary to present certain parts of yourself. The automatic screening we do to the rest of the big ole caboodle just so we stay safe and don’t give fodder for alternative interpretations which might lead to people judging us? Problem is if you don’t give that fodder out there won’t be any to let people form… warm?… impressions of you. I think you already share more than many would but the more truthful you are the more people will note it an accept you for it. People would rather disagree a little on a personal level (in terms of what would be right for them in that situation- which is a hard judgement), than feel like they’re not being opened up to. At least in one on one relationships. Which I guess blogging is kind of analagous to in a one-to-one kind of way. Is that weird? Weird world.
    You know nobody who couldn’t deal with the word ‘fuck’ would get very far into your blog. Nice to see you’ve opted for a genuous approach though!
    Into boobs and is a little fucker? My what an early starter oot is!

  83. Jennifer
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 8:40 AM | Permalink

    Nerdbaby bit me while nursing after he got a couple teeth. Now that hurts. I was trying all the methods I read about to get him to stop, but sometimes he’d still bite. After being bitten about 5 times, I yelled, “God damn it! Knock it off, you litte bastard.” My husband, being the funny man he is, looks at me, and then the baby and says, “Something you want to tell me?”

  84. Aud
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 8:56 AM | Permalink

    wow…was looking up your info to send to some guy trying to help his 7th graders do good things for people (I thought he might be interested in the Heifer foundation and especially so during those times when you’re matching donations). wasn’t going to comment, but was compelled to mention that Oot never pulls on Christopher’s beard. Strange. He’s gotten grips on my hair that should have me bald by now, but he really likes Christopher and still no beard-pulling. Maybe it has something to do with genetics. Maybe not. Still interesting.

  85. Armin
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 10:20 AM | Permalink

    Don’t worry too much about looking too good on the blog. ;)

    I for one can glimpse enough of an Ҥ=$/ here to keep you real.


  86. Laura
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 11:30 AM | Permalink

    With my coding blog, I call it a balancing act between “Goddess of Perfection” and “Dirty Secrets: Two for a Nickel!”

    Still looking for that sweet spot in the middle…

  87. Posted April 13, 2010 at 3:58 PM | Permalink

    As long as “you little fucker” is being used affectionately, it is perfectly acceptable, IMO. I’m sure if my cats were actual babies, they would probably think that “fatty” and “shithead” were terms of endearment, and they would end up being one of those kids who goes to kindergarten and tells their teacher all about the things that mommy says.

    So at least there’s that to watch out for. Let’s hope little Oot doesn’t show up at kindergarten and when some kid accidentally elbows him in the face, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “You little fucker!”

  88. JenMo
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 5:16 PM | Permalink

    Love ya Pat!

  89. Lee
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 6:47 PM | Permalink

    Honestly, whether this blog primarily features Fictional Pat or not, I enjoy it. I enjoy the fact that, even when portraying your fictional self, you’re still real. You don’t try to be politically correct about every thing you say, you don’t try to please the crowd 100% of the time.

    Frankly, I think a lot of people like that – I think that’s why you have such a following, because you’re just blatantly awesome, you’re blatantly human. I mean… that’s why -I- like you.

  90. Trillian
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 9:39 PM | Permalink

    I like the sometimes idiotic, blunt, humorous Fictional Pat. Thats why i tune into your blog in my down time. If you were Fictional Promo Pat I don’t think I would, or at least not as much.
    Oh and when telling people about NOTW I wouldnt say stuff like book 2 isnt out yet but in the mean time read his blog, it’s so funny.

  91. David
    Posted April 14, 2010 at 3:22 AM | Permalink

    I enjoyed this blog because it reminded me of the difference between Kvothe the Re’lar and Kote the innkeeper.

    And then I thought – what if the difference between real and fictional Pat is like the difference between Kvothe and Kote? The mind boogles!

    Really looking forward to Wise Man’s Fear. Whenever it arrives, it will be worth it.
    Cheers – DH

  92. Cossette
    Posted April 14, 2010 at 9:09 AM | Permalink

    It’s funny because I used to think that your “real” blog posts were made with publicity in mind. It worked for me. I recommend your book all the time, which should come as no surprise since I love it. The weird thing, though, is that I’ll recommend it to people that I know will only think it mediocre at best. People who don’t usually read fantasy books… people who don’t even read fiction books in fact. But I recommend it nonetheless and when I do I say something like:
    “Hey, you’ve got to read this book. You might not think it’s as awesome as I do, but the author is the best. He’s real.”

    I don’t usually read blogs. I stumbled here looking for info on when book 2 would be out and ended up with an addiction. It led me to check out my other favorite authors’ pages and that was nothing but disappointment. They’re either too closeted or too full of themselves. That’s probably the best thing about your blog. You’re so nervous to meet people like Felicia Day and I think, “Wow, this guy is like me.”
    Here’s the thing, though. I don’t really see how being real can do anything but help you. My other authors are huge douche bags but that’s not going to stop me from buying their books when they come out or recommending them to other people.

    The stories sell themselves, just as yours does. Fortunately for you, you’ve also got this winning personality to cash in on.

  93. Nobbynob
    Posted April 15, 2010 at 5:02 AM | Permalink

    Pat, all I can say is….

  94. Dave M
    Posted April 16, 2010 at 4:47 AM | Permalink

    Watch this short video, its the last 5 seconds that I want you to see. It describes many of my fathering moments.

  95. Crystal
    Posted April 16, 2010 at 2:44 PM | Permalink

    Idon’t know that I have ever called them anything too vulgar. But then I consider “heathen spawn” a sweet pet name. And honestly, “Ah, fuck!” has happened when one pulled my hair when it was long or when one bit me.

  96. Freelancer
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 12:14 AM | Permalink

    Patrick, I appreciate and respect your candor, and your preference that people come closer to knowing the “real” you more than the “fictional” you. And since we’re all being honest here, I’ll step up and say that yes, what you wrote does make me like you a little less. I don’t mean to be negative, I’m just no fan of profanity, no matter who’s listening. Realizing that I’m in the minority on that count, I don’t make a fuss about it. BTW, Kvothe should have totally smoked Lannister on suvudu. One more volume, and short of Rand, he’ll be unstoppable.

  97. Kendallh88
    Posted May 22, 2010 at 10:48 AM | Permalink

    K… never commented on any blog of any form before….

    I think you’re freaking awesome. Yup, blog pat may just be a perception of you, just like everyone with their facebook profiles, but like you said – philosophical debate… The thing is, well I can’t speak for everyone else, but this South African girl understands that what you write here may not be the whole of the story, but I think most of the people who love to read you, and find your humour amazing, are smart enough to realise that.

    I think you give away some of the real Pat in every blog you write and I figure although I may not know the *you* you, the blog Pat is a fair representation. Hahaha, I’m sorry if you’re offended but from my perception of you, you strike me exactly as the type of guy who might curse at his little Oot, should he pull on the Beard of Awesomeness. I don’t think that makes you an awful person, I think that makes you pretty normal…

    But ya, anyway… Thanks for a fantastic blog, it has entertained me for many an hour during quiet shifts in the book store I used to work in, and now helping me procrastinate during exams – an honourable deed I swear!

    Dunno if you read this but still, thanks!

  98. Rabin
    Posted February 22, 2011 at 1:19 PM | Permalink

    Hi Pat,

    I have been reading your blog for quiet a time now, but didn’t get around reading your books. I finally got around that, and am reading THE NAME OF THE WIND. The book is definitely very captivating. I am at the point where Kvothe is listening to the story of demon and the dark power, sorry short memory span, can’t remember the actual names!! I could not help but notice the nuances of monolithic culture in the world you have created. Hence, I came back to your blog wanting to know how you, the real Pat, view religion. So I searched the blog with a simple keyword “religion”, and landed on this blog. I know you do not like to talk about religion, even so, I would love to hear from you about your views on beliefs. It would be a miracle if you track comments on your old blog posts.
    Happy reading (and writing)

2 Trackbacks

  • By The Children Are Revolting on April 16, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    […] gleamingterrier on April 16, 2010 A few days ago, an author I enjoy, Patrick Rothfuss, posted this on his blog, and it struck me as the exact sort of thing my own blog is about. Not the stuff about […]

  • […] whether it be in book or blog, is a mere shadow of himself. It’s what he refers to as My Fictional Nature, and his thoughts on it are worth noting. All I can say is, if this is the shadow, I would love to […]

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