Signing in the Detroit Area

Is it just me, or does the phrase “Detroit Area” seem like some sort of horrifying euphemism?

Most euphemisms are kinda friendly, playful even. It’s easy to say things like “my privates” or “my special purpose.” That’s the whole reason behind a euphemism, to give us a way to refer to indelicate things in places where we can’t simply say, “genitals” out loud.

But man, “Detroit Area.” That has the opposite effect, doesn’t it? What sort of wretched, demented individual would use the term “Detroit Area” to refer to their nethers? In what context would that be considered even remotely appropriate? I can’t help but think of dimly lit alleys and phone-sex hotlines that charge 29 cents a minute.

Gech. I can’t stop thinking about it now. This shit’s gonna give me bad dreams…

What was I talking about again?

Oh. Yeah. I wanted to tell you that I’m going to be in the… out there. In eastern Michigan.

I’ll be attending a convention Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, then doing a my usual reading/signing/Q&A combo at the Baldwin Public Library on Sunday afternoon.

The details, as always, are over on the tour-schedule page of my website and on facebook, but I know how lazy y’all are, so I’ll just cut and paste the upcoming weekend’s events here for those of you who pay for your internet on a per-click basis.

PenguiCon 2010
April 30th – May 2nd
Panels, Signings, Q&A
Troy Marriott
200 W. Big Beaver Rd.
Troy, Michigan 48084
Website

Reading, Signing, and Q&A
Sunday, May 2nd 2:00pm – 4:00pm
Baldwin Public Library
300 West Merrill Street
Birmingham, MI 48009
Website

I’ve never been to PenguiCon before, but I have high hopes. The last time I went to a convention in Michigan this happened:

[Edit: for those of you who are curious, that’s John Scalzi in the middle of this freaky little love in. Jim C. Hines is on the left. I’ve mentioned his Goblin books on the blog before. He’ll be at Penguicon this weekend too…]

There, now we’ll both have trouble sleeping tonight…

pat

This entry was posted in appearances, tangentalityBy Pat76 Responses

76 Comments

  1. Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:07 AM | Permalink

    By the way, I highly recommend working the phrase “Detroit Area” into your conversation at some point today. I used it at the dinner table tonight and it went over really well.

    • Bekka
      Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:19 AM | Permalink

      will do. though I live in Australia, so i’m not quite sure how that’ll go down lol

      • Haley
        Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:15 PM | Permalink

        My guess is it’ll go DOWN UNDER. Hah, see what I did there?

    • Posted April 26, 2010 at 10:04 AM | Permalink

      I have been running a World of Darkness campaign in the “Detroit Area” for about 15 years. I don’t live there, we just play homicidal maniacs there. It seems to mostly go unnoticed.

    • onegroovychick
      Posted April 27, 2010 at 11:41 AM | Permalink

      I’m not sure which is worse: Detroit-area as a euphemism or the unfortunate name of the road where your first weekend signing is located…

  2. Kazzmere
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:18 AM | Permalink

    I like a well-shaven Detroit Area, myself. And judging by the picture, so do your friends.

    Have fun at the signing :)

  3. Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:23 AM | Permalink

    For some reason, it was the longest time before I read this post’s title as anything other than, “Singing in the Detroit Area”. Odd.

    Wish I could be there, though. —at the /signing/ I mean!

    • Lisa
      Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:03 AM | Permalink

      Hahaha
      I definitely read it as “Singing in Detroit Area” too, up until I read your comment.
      One of my roommates is from the Detroit Area.

      In the context of the euphemism, I suppose everyone is from the Detroit Area…

      • Posted April 26, 2010 at 11:22 AM | Permalink

        I should probably just do a book singing one of these days, just to try it out…

        • xjm
          Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:36 PM | Permalink

          Do you have a good singing voice? A nice baritone perhaps? If so, I’m sure it would be delightful. If the chorus teacher picked you to instead play the triangle at school concerts, maybe best not…

  4. Colby
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:43 AM | Permalink

    Hey pat. I know there aren’t any good euphemisms for Dallas but doyou think you could pit us on the tour schedule for book two or something? I got all my friends hooked on NOTW and ur blog and we aren’t feeling the love with all these northern appearances and signings. Though I must tell you, for some of these, I have considered driving to wherever you will be, 100’s of miles away though they might be.
    Anyway, thanks for any consideration you give the matter.
    Ps when is the “why I don’t talk about book 2” post coming. Or is it like fight club “the first rule of book two is you do not talk about book 2”

    • Sean
      Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:28 PM | Permalink

      Colby – The 1970’s ish prono flic “Deby does Dallas.” I never saw it but wondered if it was a euphemism or not:)

      • Colby
        Posted April 27, 2010 at 1:05 AM | Permalink

        Ohh I’m sorry that’s just a little ahead of my generation. Though I find it funny that when people outside of the us think of Dallas, they think if the tv show. Which is why, on my trip to France, everyone kept quizzing me on a show I had never watched haha.

      • Drex
        Posted April 27, 2010 at 4:11 AM | Permalink

        There was a remake of that in the 90s, I think :)
        Except in the remake, “Dallas” turned out to be some guy
        named that, not the entire city. Pity, that…

  5. AndyB
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:49 AM | Permalink

    Where do you find, “phone-sex hotlines that charge 29 cents a minute”? I think you are dating yourself there (in more than one way…)

  6. Rob
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:51 AM | Permalink

    It may be interesting to note that Detroit is actually in Eastern Michigan, which is a longer drive from Wisconsin than Western Michigan, and the two suburbs in which you’ll be attending your events are two of the wealthiest in the Midwest. Nobody from Troy or Birmingham in their right mind would say they were from the Detroit area when first asked. They would use the reference only as a point of clarification. We snobs in Ann Arbor are pretty much the same way….

    I’ll see you at the library.

  7. Sedulo
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:59 AM | Permalink

    Hey. What happens in the Detroit area STAYS in the Detroit area. That photo is a good example of why this rule should be followed.

  8. Cynthia
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 2:21 AM | Permalink

    Euphemisms are pretty silly. But I guess it protects us from the mental scarring of hearing a 4 yr old cousin or 80 yr old grandma say “ball sack.” Yeah, picture that and try to sleep.

    But nothing compares to the level of euphemism for period related things. You reminded me of this funny campaign Kotex is trying out: http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/03/22/euphemisms-in-tampon-ads-the-u-by-kotex-campaign/

    Have fun at the signings. Hug a penguin for me (there’s bound to be some wandering around…right?)

  9. Lorien Krueger
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 2:23 AM | Permalink

    Is that John Scalzi about to make out with Jim Hines? And also being looked at lovingly by yourself? Sorry I don’t recognize the fourth gentleman. I would pay any amount of money (or slavering minion slave labor) to be right in the middle of that. It gives me goosebumps

  10. Posted April 26, 2010 at 3:01 AM | Permalink

    I’ll drop the Australian equivalent of the ‘Detroit Area’ into conversation today… Unless the opportunity comes up to tortuously work in the Rothfuss original.

    Now, because all the kids in that photo look impossibly groovy, can we please, PLEASE have the story of why a series of awesome men are trying to eat each others faces?

  11. Tim
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 3:59 AM | Permalink

    I woke my girlfriend up and said, “We really should think about vacationing in the Detroit Area this coming winter!”

    She just kind of looked at me and rolled over and went to sleep. I wonder if she’ll remember tomorrow. Ah well…

  12. Steve
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 6:18 AM | Permalink

    What is it that you keep in that Ginormous pocket above your Detroit region? It seems you are trying to keep the rest of they guys from getting at it? Maybe it’s tickets to a concert in the Detroit area?

  13. franti
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 7:06 AM | Permalink

    woooooooooooooooooooo!

    And fyi, I’ve lived in the Detroit Area for most of my life, and I’ll have you know that most of it is NOT a reference to nethers.

    Detroit itself, on the other hand… have your fun.

  14. Ken H
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 7:12 AM | Permalink

    Hey Pat. Don’t know if you caught it on the event page on FB, but I feel obliged to pay tribute in some way for the painful experiences you must endure on that side of the state (that and you’re just an awesome writer). We from the West side are generally tolerable (probably because we’re Dutch and we spend like it). That said, we also have this awesome litlle gem called Mackinac Fudge. Don’t know if you heard of it.

    Whether you have or not, I’ll be bringing some to make life a little sweeter after such a heavy undergoing that weekend.

    “Who is this guy?” you ask yourself? Why, the guy carting around a box of fudge like a goofy idiot during your signing, that’s who!

    I also take flavor requests.

  15. Nat
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 8:17 AM | Permalink

    You remind me of Zaphod Beeblebrox in that photo. Also Mooncup are running an ad campaign on London Underground with big posters with euphemistic words for vagina – given that there are over 1200 entries on their website, ‘Detroit Area’ was not one I saw, and I spent an enjoyable hour checking it out. ;oP Also, COMPLETELY off topic, but is Moot a particularly well known euphemism? It came in #1, but no one I know knows anyone who has ever used it.

    • Rob
      Posted April 26, 2010 at 10:16 AM | Permalink

      …maybe they’re actually talking about a vagina when somebody says, “The point is moot.”

  16. Brett
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 8:39 AM | Permalink

    That picture does not make the Detroit area happy.

    Not in my state of Michigan anyway.

  17. Posted April 26, 2010 at 8:50 AM | Permalink

    What was that quote from TNotW…”A mans hand is never far away from his purse, as my father says.”

  18. Anonymous
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 8:58 AM | Permalink

    I approve of your leather duster, Mr. Rothfuss. Unfortunately, I cannot make your signing. Je Regret.

  19. Amber
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 8:59 AM | Permalink

    Er, did anyone else feel a bit – amused – to notice the address for the Con is on Big Beaver Rd (speaking of euphemisms…)?

  20. Raquel
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 10:06 AM | Permalink

    Your coat remindes me Spike’s ;)
    Good luck at the signing

  21. dave
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 11:54 AM | Permalink

    Scalzi is awesome. Pat, you write a few more books as good as “Wind” and I’ll call you awesome, too. :)

  22. Joyce
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 11:55 AM | Permalink

    Detroit Area? Maybe. I am finding “out there… In Eastern Michigan” to be euphemistic. Perhaps of your second to last left toe.

  23. xjm
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:39 PM | Permalink

    I think “Detroit Area” would need to be a little more specific, say, “the taint of the Midwest.” That seems to fit.

  24. Erin
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 12:44 PM | Permalink

    While traveling, people often ask me where I’m from- as is the accustomed thing to do. Whenever I feel like avoiding conversation I always reply, “Oh, the Detroit Area.”
    “Dearborn Heights,” just doesn’t have the same impact on people…

    I can’t wait for the convention; I love the Name of the Wind, and hope to see you there.

  25. Jacob
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:08 PM | Permalink

    Bah, you continue to taunt me with your northern area bias. Come to Austin!

  26. Tikka
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:21 PM | Permalink

    You’re in my area and I can’t make it!

  27. Posted April 26, 2010 at 1:28 PM | Permalink

    The word that means “has the opposite effect of a euphemism” is dysphemism. Just as Wikipedia notes the existence of a euphemism treadmill, in which increasingly mild terms are used to refer to an unpleasantness (shithouse > toilet room > restroom > W. C.) there is also evidence of a dysphemism treadmill, in which increasingly unpleasant references to something are conceived in order to render the appropriate effect (dead > pushing up daisies > worm food).

    Also, did you ever take a crack at the Illumination and Scholarship? Inquiring minds want to know.

  28. Posted April 26, 2010 at 2:26 PM | Permalink

    Last year, I was working two jobs–one in the town I live in (Adrian, MI) and the other in Detroit. Literally, inside the city limits, within walking distance of the Public Library. My boss at my Adrian job hired a new employee and told me that the new person had also worked “in Detroit.” I asked where. She said Livonia. When I was alone, I laughed.

    As Rob said above, no one from these wealthy suburbs (Livonia, Troy, Birmingham, etc) would ever claim to be from Detroit–or even the Detroit area. However, once you’re more than an hour outside the city, the whole of Southeast Michigan seems to become renamed the Detroit Area.

  29. Landi
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 2:46 PM | Permalink

    Guys and Dolls reference, maybe? Nathan. Hmmm.
    A well-manicured Detroit Area is a pleasant surprise at bedtime….

  30. Maggie
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 3:02 PM | Permalink

    Pat, I’d say you probably have the best comments of any blog I’ve ever read! Way to be smart and witty people! And the spelling errors are minimal, so my facial tic hasn’t kicked in! Yay! I just wanted to say that every time I read this, I’m so glad I knew you in college and got to read your work! It’s fantastic! P.S. This is Maggie (the non-writer from the writer’s group). It’s okay if you don’t remember.

  31. James
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 3:29 PM | Permalink

    I’m curious, if ‘Detroit Area’ is a euphemism, the what exactly will Pat be signing?

  32. G Dubbs
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 5:54 PM | Permalink

    As a lurker by nature it take a lot to get me to post a ‘comment’ in a location such as this.
    However the cause seemed worthy and as such I give you:

    “Nice Jacket.”

  33. Jacob
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 6:02 PM | Permalink

    The leather jack is the ultimate “nerd trying to look cool” attire.

  34. Su
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 6:33 PM | Permalink

    Pat!! XD I love that pic! I recognized Jim Hines straight away, but it was like worlds colliding (he’s another of my favorite authors whose blogs I follow). I didn’t know you guys knew each other! Hahaha, I have to go over to his blog and send him this way~ XD Honestly, this pic makes me unreasonably happy. Thank you for posting. ♥

    Am currently about two-thirds of the way through TNOTW (yes, I’m very late to the game–but boy, am I glad I found you!) and so engrossed that my mind keeps straying back to Kvothe and what’s going to happen next to him at the University (he just got booted from his sweet gig at the fancy inn thanks to Ambrose Jackass–err, Jakis). This is naturally, very bad since I’m currently at work… and obviously, surfing onto your blog instead of working isn’t helping at all… *sigh*

    Anyway, just wanted to pop in, tell you (like so many others, I’m sure) how FRIGGIN’ AWESOME Kvothe and TNOTW and your writing and your characters, etc, etc, are, and how much I’m savoring every, single page of the book. Some fanart of the holy trinity (i.e. stalwart Wil, cuddly Sim and beloved Kvothe) is sure to follow soon~~~

    P.S. Why is Anton Strout your mortal enemy?

  35. Luke
    Posted April 26, 2010 at 8:07 PM | Permalink

    PAT!!!!!!

    OVER HERE!!!

    NOTICE ME!!!!

    I do hope that will grab your attention. Where did you get the leather trench coat?!!?

  36. Joe P.
    Posted April 27, 2010 at 2:02 AM | Permalink

    That is possibly the best picture ever.

    Just sayin’.

  37. j$
    Posted April 27, 2010 at 9:28 AM | Permalink

    This is how I picture the conversation going where the publisher informs you that you have to do a book signing in the Detroit Area.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g09GtnWdBjc

  38. Ian
    Posted April 27, 2010 at 9:51 AM | Permalink

    I just saw on Amazon, (and several other online book sellers), that the new release date is January 1, 2011. Is this true, or just another random date which happens to be around 280 days from now… Are we really going to have to wait until then or will we be allowed into your world prior to? In other words, is this another joke, or have you told them that we must hang ourselves until this date?

    • Ian
      Posted April 27, 2010 at 9:56 AM | Permalink

      And now I see June 1, 2011 and August 1, 2011. The Audio seems to consistently say January, but the paperback and hardcover flip back and forth between August and June. I am so confused now.

  39. Benedict
    Posted April 27, 2010 at 3:41 PM | Permalink

    I’m sure Pat’s power of omniscience in regard to all things Dr. Horrible means he’s already come across this, but for those of you who haven’t, it’s a pretty amusing retelling of the SAB (Sing-Along Blog) in classic, retro 8-bit deliciousness. If you’ve got time to watch it, a mouse click would not go amiss.

  40. David
    Posted April 27, 2010 at 8:20 PM | Permalink

    I can’t decide if this is going to be considered a terrible faux pas or not, so I guess I’ll just throw it out there: I just fininshed reading The Name of the Wind on my Kindle – will Pat sign my Kindle? I would be thrilled.

  41. Feldoth
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 3:19 AM | Permalink

    So, umm… a minute ago there was a post above this one that had the release date for Book 2, but now its gone. What’s up with that? :|

    • AlBonobo
      Posted April 28, 2010 at 3:58 AM | Permalink

      I saw it too Feldoth!

      This text link is also on the home page: “I said I’d tell you when I knew….” and it is broken.

      I got my hopes up as well. Is this a website issue or is Pat teasing us. I don’t think Pat would tease us to be honest.

  42. elmobob14
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 4:45 AM | Permalink

    Pat,

    I’m thrilled about the news. I don’t know why you think people would be upset. Great job! Thanks for the news!

    Chad

  43. airmail
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 6:08 AM | Permalink

    Dear Pat

    No Idea why the “Comments closed” on your greatly anticipated blog entry. .. fear of server breaking down or of abuse by the impatient fans?
    Never mind. I just have to say THANK YOU for the news! I can wait but I could’nt stand the uncertainty.
    Congratulations on this milestone! I am happy for you as well as for all the fans.

    Greets from Switzerland!

  44. Little My
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 6:10 AM | Permalink

    Great news! And at first glance I was thinking that 2011 was, like, 2 years from now, but then I realize it’s in just a few short months. Just past Christmas. Yay! And congratulations! I guess you don’t really want comments about the publish date, but I think we fans need a little rejoicing space, so I guess we can carve it out here. . .

  45. Amber
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 9:09 AM | Permalink

    PAT!

    I am so sorry we have bruised you so thoroughly that you feel you have to be apologetic and diffident about announcing an actual date. March ’11? That’s wonderful!!!! I am thrilled to hear it and think it’s a perfectly reasonable time frame – my god, man, you have a life and for heavens sake you should be able to enjoy it (and maybe even the process of doing what we harpies hound you for).

  46. skribe
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 9:16 AM | Permalink

    Awesome news about the publishing date! You seem to think people would be upset? I don’t know why they would be. I’m thrilled to hear the news.

  47. Aleron
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 10:36 AM | Permalink

    AWESOME!!!!

    we have a date, and it is LESS THAN A YEAR AWAY? This is GREAT news. I’m getting all excited and anticipation-y already :)

  48. trebuchetmetal
    Posted April 28, 2010 at 3:45 PM | Permalink

    The most troubling thing about the photo is that large bulge in your coat pocket, Pat. WTF, man?

    Also, congrats on the release date of book 2. I can’t imagine the work and stress involved. I’m really happy for you, dude!
    xo
    -spain

  49. pablohunny
    Posted April 29, 2010 at 2:38 AM | Permalink

    RE: Publication date. Delighted to hear it, planning to ask for it as an Easter present next year :) Besides, since Amazon was insisting on it being 2025, certain people will be relieved they don’t have to wait that long.

    -A-

  50. Shnargen
    Posted April 29, 2010 at 10:12 AM | Permalink

    Well, it looks like next March is going to be the best month ever. Wise Man’s Fear AND the Game of Thrones HBO series! This is gonna be friggin’ awesome. BTW, forget Detroit, Seattle is the place for you!

  51. Posted April 29, 2010 at 3:59 PM | Permalink

    Wow! So much love in that picture!

    And my mom told me I wasn’t supposed to talk about the Detroit area, well not unless I really loved the person ;)

    It’s actually coming out soon! So excited about that… I know you turned off the comments for a reason but it’s such great news! Yay! Woo Hoo!

  52. Jexral
    Posted April 30, 2010 at 8:55 AM | Permalink

    I wasn’t sure if I was going to come, but quickly slapped myself in the face and said “of course I am!”

    And then promptly got sick. :(

  53. ryanjm
    Posted May 1, 2010 at 2:17 PM | Permalink

    Closed comments on release date?!?!? Commence raging!

    No, but seriously, I’m fine with actually having a date. That’s better than knowing he already supposedly wrote the whole series but then it takes 10 years per book because he’s forever polishing the book and afraid to release it to his critics…like Duke Nukem Forever.

    p.s. Sounds like the publishing industry could use an efficiency overhaul. Almost all of the things cited as reasons why it takes 6 months from finalization to release are things that sound as though they could be planned out and done way in advance, with just the printing and copy-editing needing done before release.
    Fonts chosen, layout, marketing, catalogs, all can be done ahead of time. That just leaves proofing, reviewers, and printing/boxing. How long should a reviewer need? A month or two is reasonable I would say. And actually printing the books? That shouldn’t take very long at all.

    I can’t see how it wouldn’t be done for a holiday release if there was even a little organization and planning done.

    • Baldsilver
      Posted May 4, 2010 at 1:06 PM | Permalink

      nah it really does take that long, printing departments often wont start until they have the final product in hand, kinda makes sense actually, then they have to double check with the editor and author then contracts have to be sent, most often to the agent who then sends it to the author ect. ect

      ugh, almost a year. W/e im just gonna say i dont understand how this happened and leave it at that, hope the finished product is good

  54. kniko
    Posted May 1, 2010 at 9:57 PM | Permalink

    AWESOME!!!

    man, i’m just happy their is a release date. :-) means i only have to read book 1 once more, next Feb.. and as long as i get stationed somewhere where books are released on time next, i should have a copy on release day. :-)
    thanx Mr. Pat ;-).. and we appreciate the extra time you put into making book 2 the best that it could be for us. now go spend some time with oot. (i have my first kid, bout the same age as yours, and i have had to spend most his life away from him due to Army requirements, not fun)

  55. Trysdor
    Posted May 2, 2010 at 10:54 PM | Permalink

    Apparently there are four things every wise man fears.
    The Sea in Storm
    A Night with no Moon
    The Anger of a Gentle Man
    and Rabid Blog Commentators.

    Nothing to fear, Pat. Good luck getting the book to your standards by September. Hope it goes smoothly.

  56. yoo-ie
    Posted May 3, 2010 at 7:20 AM | Permalink

    You’re a meanie!
    I was dancing around out of joy to see a release-date for book 2 and wanted to put my first comment on your blog just there and you enabled commenting…. |D
    I’m still dancing happily though. *^^*

    btw, your little one’s got quite a frightening name/nick.
    I started learning kendo some weeks ago and one of the seniors always shouts menacingly ‘Oot!!!’ whenever he attacks someone…

    Well, you made my whole week! Thanks! *^^*

    • airmail
      Posted May 5, 2010 at 2:51 AM | Permalink

      Have you read “Desert Spear”? You’ll find menacing “oot” cries there as well in the Krasian fighting…

  57. Posted May 3, 2010 at 12:26 PM | Permalink

    Just need to thank you for giving us a date… (so much for euphemisms)

    I stopped living for at least 2 days upon finding out that book II would not come out this march, since then I waited for you to announce a date. Now I can peacefully retreat to my boring studies while reading book I for the 7th time just some pages every night.

    Have you ever considered comming over the big sea? I mean for a signing or a reading? I really hoped so when you where so proud about the german translation and the design of the book last year. Is is nice here in Cologne and I am shure we would come in unseen numbers … to see you once live.
    Annyways if you decide not to leave continent know that also over here people are very happy to soon get a coppy on release day next year. Keep up the good work. Please.
    Yea and maybe you should have opened the comments for the release date with the header:

    Attention
    Due to a shortage of roboters people here are human beeings and may react unsuspectingly if abused.

    Just something I picked up on my last visit to the States.
    sorry for mistakes but my english is not perfect ^^

    Greets from Germany

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