$300K Bonus: A Favor From Pat (and more)

As I write this blog, our donation total stands at $308,000. So today we’re doing a few things.

1. Adding the 300K bonus to the fundraiser.

2. Announcing the 350K stretch goal.

3. Adding a few other cool pieces of miscellany to the fundraiser.

4. Extending the end date of the Worldbuilders until January 21st at Midnight.

The main reason for #4 is that part of the 300K bonus is going to be an auction, and I wanted to be able to run it for a full seven days.

This is the last extension, so make the most of it.

  • Two (2) Favors from Patrick Rothfuss.

For the last several fundraisers, I’ve given away a favor. I used to refer to this as “The Golden Ticket.” But I realized that I should probably do something more fitting to my own idiom, rather than keep ripping off Roald Dahl.

So now we have a gold ring, designed by Badali Jewelry. In the fine traditions of the Maer’s court, it has my name inscribed on it.

Here’s the deal. I’m giving away two of these. One is going into an auction. The other is going into the lottery.

Details as follows.

The winner of this item will receive a gold ring redeemable for one (1) favor from Patrick Rothfuss.

Possible uses for the favor include:

Asking Pat to insert your name/likeness into a future book or story.
Asking Pat’s assistance in wooing the object of your affection, preferably from under a balcony at night.
Asking Pat to read and critique your unpublished manuscript (or your published one, if you really want.)
Asking Pat give a reading/workshop at your local library or University.
Asking Pat to give a reading/workshop at your house.
Asking Pat to give a reading/workshop in your bedroom.
Asking Pat to help you move a particularly heavy couch.

This favor has no expiration date. It can be traded, transferred, sold, or lost. In essence, the ring *is* the favor. You give the ring back when you cash in your favor. So if you lose it, you’ve kinda fucked yourself.

The nature of this favor is fairly open-ended, though some negotiation may be necessary depending on the nature of the favor. Certain ethical or legal restrictions may apply (though not as many as you might expect.) Under no circumstances will Patrick dance for you. Carnal favors must be approved by Pat’s girlfriend in advance. If you won this favor in the auction, and for any reason Pat cannot fulfill his obligation to you, he will personally refund your winning bid in exchange for the ring.

As a side note, let me add that recently, I attended the Child’s Play charity dinner out in Seattle. Partly because I love the folks at PA with a fierce love, and partly because I like to wear a tuxedo.

(I look like I’m about to start a railroad monopoly.)

And, since I was in town, I offered up a favor just like this one for the Child’s Play Auction.

It sold for over 9000 dollars.

Admittedly, at least a couple grand of that was probably due to the tux. But still, it gives you some perspective.

So. One favor is going into the lottery where anyone can win it by donating to Heifer International on our team page.

The second one is being auctioned OVER HERE.

*     *     *

  • 350k Stretch Goal: The Lockless Box. 

This year while at Origins, I had the good fortune to make the acquaintance of Robert Gifford.

What transpired between us is a subject that deserves an entire blog itself. Suffice it to say that since then our relationship has burgeoned into something magical. Something that lies somewhere in-between bromance and the love that dare not speak its name.

Robert runs Geek Chic, a confederation of woodworking artisans and geeks par-excellence. They make bespoke furniture for geeks. They make furniture so beautiful that even a rough-hewn Visigoth like myself who sleeps on a mattress on the floor cannot help but crave it. 

If Worldbuilders hits 350K before January 21st, Robert has agreed to put his carpentary artificers to the task of creating the lockless box from The Wise Man’s Fear.

It will be a functional puzzle box designed by a consortium of the most profoundly crafty fuckers in existence.

If we hit 350K, Geek Chic will design the box. They will make the box. And you will be able to buy the box or win it as part of future Worldbuilders festivities.

But only if we hit 350K before January 21st.

And remember, if we hit $400,000 before January 21st, Worldbuilders will donate an extra $100,000 dollars to Heifer International.

So there’s your motivation. We’ve got one week left. Let’s spread the word.

*     *     *

And finally, a few more geeky items. Some for the lottery, some for auction.

  • Copper Knife.

Esoteric Garage made a second copper knife after the great reaction they got from me and everyone on the blog.

We’re auctioning it off here.

  • Discreet Lady’s Knife.

Since not everyone is going to need to kill something mythic. Tait and Loren designed a more practical knife for the lady who likes to be prepared for the worse.

They specifically asked that this lady’s knife be put into the lottery. As with some other items, we want to make sure that this goes to someone who really wants it, so we’ll call and ask the winner before mailing them this prize. If they don’t want it, we’ll pick names until we find someone that does.

We do this because we care. And also because we don’t want to be sued.

  • Copper Batarang.

This year we received a letter from Wayne Enterprises.

In a separate package, we also received two copper Batarangs. The perfect gift for the sociopathic billionaire in your life. Also perfect for that hard-to-shop-for confused fanboy.

Edit: We’ve run into a couple of snags with the batarang, and have taken it down.

*     *     *

Fair warning: Worldbuilders is ending soon, so if you want in on the lottery make sure to donate on the Worldbuilders Team Page before January 21st. For every $10 you pitch in, you get another chance to win thousands of books, DVD’s, knives, favors, and other mythic goodies.

Also, be warned that many auctions will be ending soon. You can view all the current auctions over here.

If you want to see the other items that have been donated to Worldbuilders, or learn more about the fundraiser itself, you can head over to our main page.

This entry was posted in a few words you're probably going to have to look up, Geek Chic, geeking out, Worldbuilders 2012. By Pat43 Responses


  1. jaymatteo
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:56 AM | Permalink

    I’ve said it before, but I want to say it again. Pat, you and your people amazing for doing this. Thank you.

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:58 AM | Permalink

      I’m just the ringleader. It’s really the whole geek community that makes this happen.

      • jayh
        Posted January 15, 2013 at 8:11 AM | Permalink

        would that be ringleader or ringlender?

  2. Dracc
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:03 AM | Permalink

    If I won that ring, would it be considered improper to wear it?

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:10 PM | Permalink

      If you could pull it off. I have huge hands, and it’s sized to fit me….

  3. johnathonn
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:06 AM | Permalink

    I was thinking of all the possible things I would ask if I won that ring, and then my girlfriend gave me the perfect idea. If I win that ring I would want Pat to be the one who marries my girlfriend and I.

    • Andrew
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 7:17 AM | Permalink

      Isn’t that polygamy? :)

      • Robo
        Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:22 AM | Permalink

        Ha! Yes, but I believe it’s legal in Wisconsin.

      • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:11 PM | Permalink

        This comment is full of win.

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:12 PM | Permalink

      Johnathonn: That’s a legit use. People have asked about that before….

  4. Marcus Cox
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:46 AM | Permalink

    Since the first time you mentioned these rings I have had the hardest time coming up with a favor that would mean more than just having the ring. It’s just so beautiful.

  5. Sandhya
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:54 AM | Permalink

    I really didn’t think I could love you guys anymore, but here we are. Between the tuxedo, extending the Worldbuliders deadline and the rings, good god, the rings, my heart overfloweth. I hope if I had ever had a son, he would have grown up to be the man you are. How many ways can you say, “You guys are awesome!”

  6. Posted January 15, 2013 at 8:51 AM | Permalink

    Could the gold ring be traded for one of bone? Or a wooden ring… that would be a little hilarious

  7. AlanAdams23
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 8:59 AM | Permalink

    If the rings have ancient script that appears when put into a fire then I’m on to you, mister

  8. Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:04 AM | Permalink

    Carnal favors must be approved by Pat’s girlfriend in advance.

    Hm. Wouldn’t your wife want to be in on the decision? Or am I just messing things up, not realizing you didn’t marry and just automatically substitute girlfriend with wife when you became a father?

    Olli, the jolly German smartass :)

    • Robo
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:24 AM | Permalink

      The more interesting aspect is whether Pat gets a say. If not, he’d better hope his girlfriend isn’t in a snarky mood when she gets the query.

    • TheManiacWoodpecker
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:26 AM | Permalink

      I think you messed that up. I don not think Pat and Sarah are married yet, or am i wrong? I think he would have let us known.

      Woody the maniac german Pecker ;-P

      • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:13 PM | Permalink

        Nope. We’re not married. Never really saw the point.

  9. Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:20 AM | Permalink

    How WorldBuilders Was Born… Maybe?

    In the cold, far North where the Cheesehead’s roam,
    Pantless King Rothfuss paced his great throne.
    “Jiminy Schmickets and Fuck-sticks,” he cried,
    Stroking his beard beneath harrowing eyes.

    His Faery assistants scurried and hurried,
    Wringing their hands, bubbling with worry;
    They brought him more coffee – the King simply grumbled,
    Pastries and Tasties? — the King only mumbled.

    They brought a Cat Woman, all supple chenille,
    The King merely grunted — but did cop a feel.
    His usual distractions lost all their luster,
    Lurping and Gaming not cutting the mustard.

    Supplicants bowed at the Pantless Kings Throne,
    But huffing and puffing he sent them all home.
    No one could please him – no one, it seemed.
    But somehow… we’d all forgotten the Queen.

    Queen Sarah pranced ‘round our great Pantless King,
    — Then bitch-slapped his Grace with a welt-raising zing!!
    King Rothfuss was shocked to his jelly-filled core,
    “By Tehlu’s great beard, – what the fuck was that for?!”

    The Queen kept on dancing and let out a laugh,
    “My fair, hapless King — it is time to give back!”
    “You’ll gather the minions of Geeks by the score,
    And lash out at hunger like never before!”

    “One goat, one chicken, one duck at a time,
    ‘With pennies and nickels and shiny Geek dimes.
    ‘Think on the difference a few Nerds can manage –
    ‘Think of the children whose lives won’t be ravaged,”

    “My Queen!” the King shouted, “I have a great plan!”
    “Why don’t I fight hunger with all of my fans?”
    The Queen rolled her eyes and sauntered away,
    “Just put on some pants before you go play.”

    And thus came to be the Worldbuilders we know,
    The wellspring of good, the bastion of hope.
    One goat, one chicken, one duck at a time,
    Making a difference – with shiny Geek dimes.

    • TheManiacWoodpecker
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:27 AM | Permalink

      That one made me laugh, hard :-)
      That was great thank you very much Sir.

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 1:27 PM | Permalink

      But seriously, Pat – Thank you for introducing myself and a lot of my friends to such a worthwhile cause. I don’t know if I would have ever learned of this effort otherwise. I believe you are making a beautiful difference in this world – in so many wonderful ways. Blessings to you and yours.

    • rjleduc
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 1:29 PM | Permalink

      Loved it as well!

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 9:05 PM | Permalink

      That is pretty awesome….

      • PHXDale
        Posted January 16, 2013 at 7:59 AM | Permalink

        Gracias! Look forward to seeing you in Tucson in March.

  10. Yoni
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:28 AM | Permalink

    Does the current fundraising total include all the auctions and store sales to date? Or will those be added later?

    Do they count toward the stretch goals?

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:13 PM | Permalink

      Nope. Only donations directly to Heifer on the Team Page count toward the stretch goals.

  11. Posted January 15, 2013 at 10:58 AM | Permalink

    Pat, is there a chance of you coming to Brazil if a group of fans gather to win that ring in the auction? Or at least for such a huge effort? :D

    • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:14 PM | Permalink

      That would be fair. We’d have to negotiate the timing though…

      • Posted January 15, 2013 at 8:20 PM | Permalink

        5 days isn’t too much for a brazilian crowdfundig… just saw the timing. But just today I found a hundred guys excited with the idea and would make a donation to help Worldbuilders and try to get the ring. I’d love to see the oportunity to make a longer term project for a south america/donation! I bet we could make a diference!

        I sent a mail a few days ago about a project we started here inspired by you, maybe we can add some ideas… if you have time to read, of course! :)


  12. Robo
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 1:29 PM | Permalink

    Here’s the REAL question: if I won said auction (or prize) and asked you to shave your beard, would you, Pat? Would you really?

    • saibelle
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 4:16 PM | Permalink

      In the auction rule #3 states “The favor can’t be something I find morally reprehensible.”

      I think most people would agree a beardless Pat is morally reprehensible ;)

    • TK2187
      Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:42 PM | Permalink

      I could have sworn that I read an interview where Pat said that it really didn’t matter to him whether or not he shaved his beard since it is merely a result of his being lazy etc. Predictably, however, I can’t find the interview.

      • Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:15 PM | Permalink

        It’s pretty much true. If you really wanted to blow your favor on that, I’d be down with it….

  13. Ethrien
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 4:57 PM | Permalink

    Hmm, Is it really okay to be putting the batarangs for display up when you haven’t yet added the disclaimer to the “An Open Invitation” blog. Don’t won’t those Wayne Enterprises legal team messing up the fundraiser.

  14. Constance
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:40 PM | Permalink

    GeekChic! If anyone can make the Thrice Locked Box of Kvothe the Bloodless, it’s them. Or my husband. Only my husband isn’t a fan of your books because the audiobook really pissed him off as the formatting is atrocious.

    So I’ll settle for GeekChic.

    And many thanks to the generous Wayne Foundation for their contributions.

  15. Mark G. Schroeder
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 9:21 PM | Permalink

    Have a goat!

  16. Posted January 16, 2013 at 5:48 AM | Permalink

    If I got one of the rings, I wouldn’t know whether to get you to look at my unpublished stuff or to talk my boyfriend into letting you check out his stuff. I’ll give him the ‘favour’ and he’ll wear it for sure.

  17. hail2daredskinz
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 3:52 PM | Permalink

    Just made my donation! Pat if I win that ring I hope you like New Jersey!!! And btw I also have ham hands so it can probably fit me. Tehlu bless you for doing all you do.

  18. Hansel
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 10:39 PM | Permalink

    The current bid on the ring is $10,000.


  19. Stecross92
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:40 AM | Permalink

    I have never wanted anything so badly in my life.

  20. john
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 10:23 AM | Permalink

    So, today i went searching for a mythical beast…the third book of a trilogy. Instead i find a blog…a good blog to be sure, and that one of my favorite authors is not only a genius and madman, but that he’s a philanthropist as well…my sympathies to his family and friends, and my congratulations to himself.

    Though my quest for a third book was fruitless, i find that someone who’s work i admire is a better fucking man, twisted mind and all, than i had imagined. An unexpected result is often as worthy as one’s original goals…i shall make you an imaginary friend as i have Robert Jordan, David Eddings, and L.E. Modessit. You are among good company in my mind, we often have lively discussions and pursue mayhem with abandon.

    Best of luck reaching your fiscal goals, now fucking write!

  21. lordloki
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 4:32 PM | Permalink

    Follow-up — is this why it just got taken down? Any additional info on this? As a lawyer, kind of curious…. (just donated too, so don’t anyone go hating :) )

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