Puppets, Wild Things, Pumpkin Spice, and Viking Llamas…

First, I would just like to say that this blog has the best title I’ve ever written. Possibly the best title *anyone* has ever written. Ever.

As I type this, Worldbuilders has raised $250,000 dollars and we’re not yet at the end of our second week. That’s pretty amazing no matter how you look at it.

Today I’m going to post up all the stretch goals we’ve unlocked so far in case you’ve missed a few.

But first, allow me to answer a few questions y’all have been asking:

As y’all know, when we hit 600,000, Neil will read something for us. Everyone who donates to Heifer International on our team page gets to vote. Here’s where the total stands right now. Fox in Socks is still in the running, though it’s a bit of a dark horse….

#NeilReads 11-19

My stretch goal is looking like a bit more of a foregone conclusion:

Animal Kiss 11.22am take 2

I will admit, when I proposed my stretch goal, I put Llama on the list without doing much research other than to make sure there were some living in Central Wisconsin. Since then I’ve discovered that a llama and an alpaca are, in fact, two very different animals. Alpaca are kinda like a cross between a sheep, a kitten, and a giraffe. By which I mean they’re furry, friendly, and they have long necks.

Llamas, on the other hand, are apparently like a cross between a sheep, a camel, and Viking berserker. By which I mean they’re furry, they hate you, and they will fucking destroy all things that oppose them. A lot of farms use them as guard animals, because other predators like coyotes are terrified of llamas and avoid even the sound of them.

So… yeah. Right now it’s looking like that’s what I’m going to end up kissing. For charity.

Here’s the stretch goals we’ve unlocked so far:

  • $50k: Nika Harper Reads Dinosaur Limericks

Happiness comes in Dinosaur Limericks that are based in scientific fact.

  • $75k: Molly Lewis Sings Pumpkin Spice Lament

Do you want to know a true fact about Amanda? She recently got a ukulele, and she’s been playing Molly Lewis songs nonstop. This one is her new favorite.

  • $100k: Patrick Rothfuss will perform “The Song of Tom Bombadil.”

Yup. That’s a thing I did. Once you’ve seen it, you can’t un-see it.

  • $125k: Seth Fishman will host a livestreamed Q&A teaching everyone how to write a query letter and/or get an agent.

This livestream is going to be Monday, November 24th at 7:30pm CST. If you have any questions for Seth, you should be sure to be there, live, when it happens. Follow Worldbuilders on Facebook,  Twitter, and YouTube to know when it goes live.

  • $150k: Myke Cole will review Hedging His Bets.

Myke was great and had the video all ready for us… and then the file corrupted when he tried to send it to us. We’ll have it up as soon as possible, so keep an eye on the Worldbuilders YouTube channel.

  • $175k: Vi Hart will write and perform “The Lay of Felurian.”

Vi nailed it here. She even included the verse that causes Felurian to cut Kvothe off, and ends it there. It’s wonderful.

  • $200k: The Heifer International staff will perform a puppet show.

This baffled me in all of the best ways. Some of Heifer International’s staff (primarily the ones who work with Worldbuilders directly every year) got together and did this in their free time. Be sure to stick around for the outtakes at the end, because people have some stuff to say about Kvothe and his lute…

We’ve got two more that have just been recently unlocked…

  • $225k: James Ernest will post a video of his signature juggling trick.
  • $250K Nate Taylor & Pat stream a discussion about the art of Slow Regard

We passed both of these goals just yesterday, so we haven’t had a chance to post them up yet, but as we’ve said above. But if you stay tuned to the Worldbuilders Facebook page and/or Twitter feed we’ll be posting them up when that happens.

Stay tuned folks, if for no other reason than to see me get trampled to death by a llama.


P.S. Just in case you wanted a link where you could help us reach more stretch goals while also making the world a better place, here it is.

This entry was posted in Acts of Whimsy, Worldbuilders 2014By Pat25 Responses


  1. Eldursael
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 1:45 AM | Permalink

    Wow, Vi did an incredible job. She made such amazing use of her voice. A lot of music today just comes at you from so many directions with loads of different instruments and voices and effects, but all Kvothe would have had is his voice and his lute, and Vi really captures how well he would have used them. It gives it a very genuine feel. Well done.

  2. sednanalien
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 3:29 AM | Permalink

    I can’t seem to find the last few stretch goals of last year. Did they go up somewhere I overlooked?

    • Posted November 23, 2014 at 12:42 PM | Permalink

      We’re trying to put together an archive of last year’s stretch goals. But all the videos should be on the Worldbuilders Youtube page….

      • Amanda
        Posted November 24, 2014 at 10:02 AM | Permalink

        We’ve still got last year’s slider, too! http://www.worldbuilders.org/stretch-goals/2013-fundraiser

        • gryphia
          Posted November 24, 2014 at 1:27 PM | Permalink

          It looks to me like the stretch goals from $475K and up don’t have any links, videos, etc, from their individual pages. I’d much rather you folks put your energy right now to making the current fundraiser kick ass (which it does), but I’d love to see those stretch goals at some point. I suspect many others feel the same way.

          Especially the 4 corners enhanced map. And the revamp of the college survival guide. I covet both of those.

  3. Soren
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 6:20 AM | Permalink

    Godgodgodgod. The query letter is a really useful thing for me.
    But, you know, I’m a student, and considering that I have three important exams this week…
    So. Having seen that it is going to be impossible due to the hour, as I will be in school in that particular moment, is there any chance for it to be rcorded?

    • Eleutheria
      Posted November 23, 2014 at 8:29 AM | Permalink

      Soren, on the video he did say that the Seth Fishman thing will be archived and available later for all to see. Besides, it should go without saying that the WorldBuilders team is on top of their game.

  4. Tungil
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 6:26 AM | Permalink

    Wehre is the thermometer this year?:)

  5. Nayef
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 6:28 AM | Permalink

    I don’t think you mentioned the read-and-critique donation page team. What is it called?
    Keep making the world awesome.

  6. Bethany
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 7:54 AM | Permalink

    Patrick — please take extreme caution if the Terror Beasts (by which I mean llamas) wins out. As a voice of personal experience, I can tell you: Llamas EAT HAIR. Pleaseplease tie back your hair and beard, put on a kerchief, somethin… because those horrendous monsters like to pick up unsuspecting young children by their bright yellow ponytails and… ok. So I was young, and impressionable, but.. damn, that HURT. And obviously it left me scarred. Please. Don’t let it happen to you. :(

  7. Eleutheria
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 8:33 AM | Permalink

    Pat, I voted for llamas because of the potential for hilarious misadventure. They do tend to spit though, so don’t go for tongue.

  8. Kelvin
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 8:54 AM | Permalink

    re: that alpaca/llama thing…I was once told by someone “I hate surprise endings. It’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention.” Hugs and kisses.

  9. GryphonBrokewing
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 9:51 AM | Permalink

    Pat, the good folks at The Market on Strongs have llamas and probably have one docile enough that it’ll acquiesce to a smooch. Just FYI.

  10. Laura Harrod
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 11:25 AM | Permalink

    Do I get the chance for a favor just by donating? If I get it, would you come over for dinner and board games with my friends and I? :3

  11. TheSiouxieCue
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 11:41 AM | Permalink

    As Bethany posted above llamas do like to go for the hair. I met a very sweet local llama named Smoochy Da Llama and he went straight for the hair. He was very gentle though unlike the previously mentioned Terror Beast. In fact, I think to do this deed you should probably just go and see Smoochy, I think he would take it easy on you, and he loves kisses. https://www.facebook.com/smoochy.llama

  12. abomgaars
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 11:41 AM | Permalink

    I so need an illustration of Patrick Rothfuss as Tom Bombadil. Imperialistic tendencies aside.

  13. stretchsbooks
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 2:17 PM | Permalink

    Hey Pat,

    Just wanted to let you know that since I’m broke as a joke, all of the listings from Stretch’s Books on eBay will be donating 10% of their final sale price to Worldbuilders. Books listed are all Signed/Lined/Dated 1st Printings. Listings include both books from Fantasy sensation Anthony Ryan, Robin Hobbs “The Rain Wilds Chronicles”(complete set), The complete “Deepgate Codex” from Alan Campbell, “Elisha Barber” by E.C. Ambrose, “Sea of Ghosts” by Alan Cambell, Kinslayer by Jay Kristoff, The Complete “Tower and Knife Trilogy” by Mazarkis Williams and “Blood’s Pride” by Evie Manieri. The listings can be found under the user name….. wbfj

    Hope this ends up being of some help. It’s the best I can do.

  14. MG Schroeder
    Posted November 23, 2014 at 9:43 PM | Permalink

    My ebay jujitsu is bad. So it’s the lottery for me. Upside is I get to try to save Pat from Llamas and make Neil Gaiman say “Goodnight nobody”v(thought that seems like a long shot) at this point.

  15. stretchsbooks
    Posted November 24, 2014 at 1:24 AM | Permalink

    I don’t know about eBay jujitsu, I just wanted to try and help. I hope it wasn’t bad form. It certainly wasn’t meant to be.

  16. Posted November 24, 2014 at 9:14 AM | Permalink

    I am a spinner (meaning I spin wool into yarn, not the bicycle version) and I have spent a great deal of time around Alpaca and Llama…

    You fucking nailed it, Pat. You really have a way with words.

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