How To Seduce An Author….

It’s been kinda quiet here on the blog lately. Part of the reason for that is because I’ve been recovering from the fundraiser, trying to catch up on my e-mail, and spending more time with my family because they got pretty short shrift while Worldbuilders was going on.

And I’ve been working on other things too. Dreaming dreams. Scheming schemes. Occasionally machinating.

The things I’ve been working will be showing up over the course of the year, some of them sooner rather than later. Many of them you’ll hear about first here on the blog, of course. Because I appreciate y’all stopping by and seeing what I have to say.

The Worldbuilders team hasn’t been letting the grass grow under their feet either. And yes, it’s partly due to the fact that it’s winter here in Wisconsin. And yeah, sure, it’s also because letting grass grow under your feet would be kind of a weird thing to do even if it was springtime….

Let me start again. What I meant to say is that the Worldbuilders team has been busy getting things done. In addition to packaging up hundreds of lottery prizes, they’ve been getting some new stuff ready for the Tinker’s Packs.

For example:

  • Valentines Day Cards.


Okay, okay. They’re not *specifically* Valentines Day cards. But they’re appropriately love-themed greeting cards just in time for those of you who might be looking to impress a geeky special someone on V-Day.

Also, do you see something a little different in what we’re doing this month?

That’s right. These cards aren’t just Kingkiller flavored. This year Worldbuilders is going to be doing our best to partner up with more authors: making cool things you’ll enjoy, while making the world a better place. So this month we’re launching cards not just from me, but based on Jacqueline Carey and Neil Gaiman’s works as well.

The card on the far left is mine, by which I mean it’s really by the wonderful Jackie Morris, a stunningly talented artist. She made this piece of art just for us, inspired by a quote from The Wise Man’s Fear: “These old name-knowers moved smoothly through the world. They knew the fox and they knew the hare, and they knew the space between the two.”

You can get the card with the quote inside, or a blank version that you can wax rhapsodic all over on. Both are available here.

Anyone who’s read Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Legacy series will recognize the center card. The phrase “Love As Thou Wilt” is a core concept of the books, and a beautiful idea besides, so making it into a Valentine’s Day card was a no-brainer.

Lastly, there’s the card from Neil. It’s based on some excellent advice from him.

For those of you who are oddly terrified of clicking that link, a fan once asked Neil: “What do you think is the best way to seduce a writer?”

Neil replied with some of the truest words ever spoken.

Writers tend to be really good at the inside of their own heads and imaginary people, and a lot less good at the stuff going on outside, which means that quite often if you flirt with us we will completely fail to notice, leaving everybody involved slightly uncomfortable and more than slightly unlaid.

So I would suggest that any attempted seduction of a writer would probably go a great deal easier for all parties if you sent them a cheerful note saying “YOU ARE INVITED TO A SEDUCTION: Please come to dinner on Friday Night. Wear the kind of clothes you would like to be seduced in.”

And alcohol may help, too. Or kissing. Many writers figure out that they’re being seduced or flirted with if someone is actually kissing them.

Yeah. This is so true that it hurts. The majority of my relationships have started with girls kissing me, and me thinking, “Oh! Hey! She’s interested in me! Suddenly a lot of her behavior over the last few months makes much better sense!”

Because this strikes so close to home for me, I’ve wanted to make a card out of this for ages. I can’t thank Neil enough for giving us the thumbs-up.

So… yeah. Trust me. This card is really the way to go if you’re hoping to seduce a writer. If there’s someone in your life who’s really bad at taking subtle hints, get them this card.

  • Curious Lovers print


(Copy of Wise Man’s Fear not included, but good at demonstrating scale)

Jackie Morris painted this for us faster than I could believe. Honestly, I think she said she got all of it done in a night.

Once we had it in our hot little hands, we couldn’t help but turn it into a print. It’s gorgeous. And if you want one of these beauties for yourself, you can get it right here.


Téa was one of the authors who attended NerdCon: Stories this year. While we were there, she stopped by the Worldbuilders booth and signed some copies of her debut novel.

I just went looking for my goodreads review of this book, because I read it and *really* enjoyed it. But apparently that’s one of the books I only *meant* to give a gushy review to last year. You’ll have to just trust me. It’s a good read, and you can grab a lovely signed one right here.

  • Copies of Level Up Your Life. Signed and inscribed by Steve Kamb.


I’ve heard good things about this one. It’s all about getting in shape and living a healthy life…but doing it in the nerdiest (and therefore best) way possible. You live your life like a character in a video game, movie, or book: you set goals and go on quests, find allies to help you with quests, train your skills, and level up all aspects of your life.

There doesn’t sound like any better way to get healthy, and these have been specially inscribed for us. You can get your own copy right here.

  • Individual Vintish Court Rings.


We’ve had so many people over the years say that they wish they could get just one of the Court Rings, so we’ve finally decided to let you get just one Court Ring instead of the entire set, if you’re so inclined.

For a ring to give to your superiors, get the gold-plated ring. For someone of an equal rank, you’ll want the silver-plated ring. For those who are simply beneath you, the iron ring is the best choice.

  • Special Promotion: Greeting card + Jewelry = 15% off both!

vday bundle2

Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, we wanted to give you the option of doing all your shopping in one place. If you buy an item of jewelry from the specially-selected Valentine’s Jewelry Collection, as well as a greeting card, you’ll get 15% off both items. That is some unbeatable math.

Just so you know, The Tinker’s Packs usually puts up new products every month, but I don’t always mention them here on the blog. If you want to make sure you a heads-up about new stuff, it would probably be a good idea to sign up for the mailing list….

Later all,


This entry was posted in cool things, Neil Gaiman, NoveltiesBy Pat36 Responses


  1. Posted January 29, 2016 at 3:13 AM | Permalink

    By the way, “Occasionally Machinating” is my Tool cover band….

    • Will
      Posted January 29, 2016 at 5:36 AM | Permalink

      Mine is “Seduction Party”.

    • Will
      Posted January 29, 2016 at 6:09 AM | Permalink

      …and ordered a couple of each.

  2. Angharad
    Posted January 29, 2016 at 5:33 AM | Permalink

    Well I totally just bought one of the cards and one of the prints. I am a rabbit (/hare) fanatic.

  3. kitty713
    Posted January 29, 2016 at 5:47 AM | Permalink

    Pat, this probably isn’t the best place for this, but I don’t know where else to post it. Being a resident of Wisconsin, I’m sure you’ve heard about the fire in Sheboygan Falls this week. That was my family, my brother and his wife and my nieces and nephews. I’m a huge fan of your work (in fact re-reading WMF is what kept me calm on the plane ride back home) and I know you love to use your powers of fame for the greater good.

    All I’m asking is that you use your name and power to please bring a little more publicity to our GoFundMe page (it’s set up by my brother in law, it is genuine). The news stories were quite conflicted initially, but the page has correct information, Ryan is acting as our sort of media spokesperson for now while our family is circling the wagons around my brother and sister in law. They’ve lost everything a family can lose. Please would you consider just sharing the link and saying a few words?

    Please, please, use your powers of good. Please, put this out among the fans. Even just a quick tweet would get this so much more support than we could ever find on our own. Please help us.

    And if you can’t, or you won’t, well.. I’ll still be a fan. But please help.

  4. lovelylass987
    Posted January 29, 2016 at 7:56 AM | Permalink

    I love the card inspired by Neil Gaiman!

  5. NoJoy
    Posted January 29, 2016 at 11:02 AM | Permalink

    Out of curiosity, do you mind sharing which of many possible references were you making with your “Dreaming dreams. Scheming schemes.” line? I initially assumed a Frankie Goes to Hollywood paraphrase, but then I found that Brave Combo used the line exactly, as did pop songs from 1935 and 1918. The oldest one I found was “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles”.

    • Posted January 29, 2016 at 1:52 PM | Permalink

      Sorry. I wasn’t making a reference. I was just putting words together.

  6. LadyWentworth
    Posted January 29, 2016 at 5:18 PM | Permalink

    God, Neil Gaiman makes me happy. I’m reading his latest collection of short stories right now (Trigger Warning), and once again it’s so beautiful it makes my heart ache. That is one fantastic Card… Thank you for the lovely post :)

  7. Brady Dill
    Posted January 29, 2016 at 7:17 PM | Permalink

    I would order rings if I could have MY name engraved on them in place of Kvothe’s…

    • Morelli
      Posted January 29, 2016 at 10:51 PM | Permalink

      Just change your name to Kvothe, and it will be.

    • Amanda
      Posted February 2, 2016 at 9:00 AM | Permalink

      You might want to keep an eye on Badali’s website for the next week or so…

  8. Posted January 30, 2016 at 11:53 AM | Permalink

    “You are invited to a Seduction” – This card is seriously perfect for my introverted, romantically challenged husband!

    He is the most loving, charming, adorable man in the world, but can not take a hint when it comes to flirting. I need to paint it out on a sign like Wile E. Cyote.

    Super cool fun facts time: “E” in Wile E. Coyote stands for “Ethelbert.” I just googled-dee-doo’d that because once I wrote it out I had to know.

  9. Sorakite
    Posted January 31, 2016 at 2:49 AM | Permalink


    I admit to being a bit surprised that you didn’t mention Torment: Tides of Numenera hitting early access a few days ago, considering that you were working on it if memory serves.

  10. mohamedo30111
    Posted January 31, 2016 at 11:50 AM | Permalink

    So doors of stone just went out the window huh…

  11. Areyzp
    Posted January 31, 2016 at 12:58 PM | Permalink

    Are my efforts to find any news about “door of stone” on this blog totaly worthless? :(

    • Holmelund
      Posted February 1, 2016 at 10:34 AM | Permalink

      It will absolutely be announced here as soon as Pat knows it.
      But it is not yet known when the book is finished and therefor a release date is not announced.

      Be assured that no-one wants the book to be finished more than Pat (Perhaps his publisher, but Pas probaly wants is more) so the very second he is free to announce IT IS DONE, he will do so here.

      • gilgamesh
        Posted February 2, 2016 at 12:24 PM | Permalink

        The problem with that logic is, “Pat” (since we are on a first name basis) refuses to give any update on his progress (or lack there of) at all. I have been visiting this blog for years now, and nary a mention of his progress. The only time he has mentioned it in the last, what, 3 -4 years, was to tell us that the article promoting his new TV show was wrong and it won’t be coming out in 2016. I know what you guys are going to say next:
        “Patrick Rothfuss is not our bitch”
        Well I am not saying that he is, but at what point should an author throw his loyal fans a bone? One year? Two? Five? I’m not asking for any firm commitments or dates, but it would be nice to hear that he is actually working on his third book instead of hearing about how awesome his kids (and his parenting skills) are or all the other things he is doing instead of working on the thing that made people fans of his in the first place. Sorry if I am bitter, but at this point, even Martin has shown his fans more respect than Rothfuss has.

        • mohamedo30111
          Posted February 3, 2016 at 7:14 PM | Permalink

          I couldn’t have said it better myself. He’s using his fans for his other projects like his kickstarters or his new game but not updating us on the slightest on the project we actually follow him for. It’s annoying.

      • goldmedallion
        Posted February 3, 2016 at 12:06 PM | Permalink

        I feel like someone is borrowing my car, refusing to tell me when they will return it, and constantly posting pictures of them in it on social media. While imperfect, this analogy perfectly captures how I feel.

        • LizisSparta
          Posted February 4, 2016 at 6:04 AM | Permalink

          Don’t forget that book three will only belong to you once you go to a store, hand over some money and receive a copy. Until then, it’s Pat’s book – not something you loaned him or are entitled to in any way.

          • mohamedo30111
            Posted February 4, 2016 at 9:37 AM | Permalink

            Yes there is such a thing as taking your time to write a great book but he’s simply declining to write and that wouldn’t have been a problem since he wouldn’t be owing us anything but considering he’s using his fan base for publicity all his other projects he does OWE it to us. At least to work on it and update us.Can’t you tell he hasn’t been writing from this vlog?He’s always talking about how we should be thankful for things and such but when was the last time he said thanks to his fans for helping him make it where he is today?If people like you continue to tell him it’s ok and he can do whatever he wants then the book won’t be out for years and it won’t be because “I’m a slow writer” or “I wasn’t completely satisfied” it’ll be because he was doing all these other things no one would care about if he weren’t there favorite author (Except worldbuilders).

          • LizisSparta
            Posted February 4, 2016 at 2:19 PM | Permalink

            If Pat uses HIS blog to publicise his other projects, you and everyone else can choose to read it – or not. Your choice. He can do with his blog whatever he likes. He could post humdreds of latte recipes, for all I know. His blog, his rules.

            Do I yearn for book three? Of course I do.
            But I honestly don’t care if he hasn’t written for it for a while.
            His book, his choice. We’re not his employers. If he does other things for a while, that’s his darn right.

            And comcerning the thankfulness? I bet Pat is amongst the most gracious writers there are. He’s grateful that we appreciate his books enough to buy and read them, AS far as I’m concerned. Otherwise he wouldn’t stay after a reading until after 1 a.m. to sign books until every fan present got his/her autograph. If he weren’t grateful he’d leave after 20 minutes.

            I’ll keep telling him it’s ok to write OR not, whatever works for him. And as anxious as I am to read DOS, I would find pleasure in him postponing the date of release by one day for every nagging comment he receives ;)

    • LizisSparta
      Posted February 4, 2016 at 6:01 AM | Permalink

      You and the Rest of the commentators might remeber how Pat gave us all the option of deciding (at the time of the fundraiser) if we would like him to play Fallout or write DOS. Most of us wanted him to geek out with videogames.
      Don’t hassle the dude.
      Once he’s finished, he’ll put it out. Easy as that.
      Don’t misunderstand me, Areyzp, your question wasn’t impolite – but some of the other guys were.

    • ross2075
      Posted February 8, 2016 at 1:22 PM | Permalink

      Perhaps it’s the optimist in me, but I feel like he indicated in a roundabout way it would be out within the year when he wrote:

      “The things I’ve been working will be showing up over the course of the year, some of them sooner rather than later. Many of them you’ll hear about first here on the blog, of course. Because I appreciate y’all stopping by and seeing what I have to say.”

      Perhaps not…either way, I’m cool. I have so many books on my to read list that when the book gets here I’ll be fine. I do miss Kvothe but when he shows up again I’ll be even happier to see him.

  12. firebird
    Posted February 1, 2016 at 1:18 PM | Permalink

    Are the rings limited or will they be around for a while?

    • Amanda
      Posted February 1, 2016 at 3:10 PM | Permalink

      They should be around, as long as people show interest in them…

      • Isaac J
        Posted February 1, 2016 at 9:13 PM | Permalink

        Have you ever seen a ring that wasn’t around one? ;-)

        • firebird
          Posted February 3, 2016 at 8:10 AM | Permalink

          Looks like /r/dadjokes is bleeding into Pats blog.

          That was pretty good btw.

  13. Slidingtoke
    Posted February 2, 2016 at 2:43 PM | Permalink

    Love the cards Patrick :) On an unrelated note, are there any news on the whole movie + series front? I know its only been 4 months, so I don’t expect them to have done much yet, but a small tidbit of info would be nice if there is any :)

  14. Tiberius Reign
    Posted February 5, 2016 at 12:12 AM | Permalink

    Hey Pat, any chance of more chats with Max or other people on podcast?

  15. jessicaffoo
    Posted February 7, 2016 at 10:30 PM | Permalink

    Hi everyone! I’m Jessica and I came here to donate to Pat’s fundraiser for Flint Michigan and the horrible water problems being experienced by the largely African American community. Wait………There is no fundraiser for Flint Michigan? Was there even a mention of this horrible problem right here in the United States? I guess not. I’ll assume Pat doesn’t run large scale fundraisers for domestic problems. He’s one of those uber liberals who think whatever happens in America can’t be nearly as bad as what happens overseas.

    I find it interesting that he had time to run a fundraiser for the Syrian refugees (most of whom where able bodied, young adult men) but had nothing to say about Flint. Oh by the way, many of these Syrian refugees participated in mass sexual assaults and robberies during the New Year holiday in Germany and throughout Europe. I’m sure those women aren’t too appreciative of your fundraiser Pat.

    Whatever may be. I certainly wish you well in your future endeavors. I know there’s a good heart behind everything you do, it’s just a little misguided sometimes.

    • LadyWentworth
      Posted February 9, 2016 at 6:52 AM | Permalink

      Ok, so I try not to get into discussions with people on the internet who have obviously already made their mind up, but this is too much for me to ignore. Ok, so first of all: By your logic, anyone who’s ever fundraised vor anything, now has to fundraise for everything. That doesn’t seem very sensible. I’m sure the situation is serious, but I’m also pretty sure that there are people fundraising for this too.
      Second of all: Your information on the events on new years are completely inaccurate. I live in Germany, and we’ve had a lot of press coverage on this subject. There hasn’t been a single Syrian refugee (or a refugee from anywhere else for that matter) who has been suspected of or arrested for the assaults that happened that night. There were witnesses who said a couple af the assailants looked “northern african”, but those reports turned ot to be pretty dubious and have never been confirmed. All in all, this was an issue of organized crime, no more, no less. And even if the situation were different, by this logic, no americans should receive fundraised money, since some americans commit sexual assault, or even worse crimes.
      Condemning Syrians based on (unsubstantiated) claims against individuals is racism.

      • LizisSparta
        Posted February 12, 2016 at 7:06 AM | Permalink

        I second what LadyWentworth says.

        Another German here, who has done quite some research (through official sites like that of the UNHCR). The reason why many of the refugees are young “able bodied” men is because they stand a much higher chance to survive the perilous journey into Europe – they go so they can hopefully get their families out through more official and less dangerous canals.

        I know as well that the attacks on New Year’s were never proven to be connected to refugees.

        And, as LadyWentworth rightly said, you can’t support every cause, even if it’s worthy.

    • Posted February 29, 2016 at 1:13 PM | Permalink

      Oh my goodness, when such idiocy exists, it makes me want to throw myself off a balcony, Kvothe style.

  16. Anonimous
    Posted February 8, 2016 at 3:53 PM | Permalink

    You killed it.

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