Category Archives: Cutie Snoo

Published: February 24, 2015

Cutie, Crying, and the Weirding Way

I was just laying in bed with Sarah and our youngest child. He’s just a little bit over one year old.

little bug

Codename: Cutie Snoo. (Because I don’t like using my kid’s real names online.)

I don’t know how it works in other households, but in ours, a lot of the day-to-day kid activities end up happening on the bed. Sarah has a huge king-sized mattress that just rests on the floor. Partly because she likes it that way, and partly because low-to-the ground beds are easier and safer for kids.

Anyway, I’m laying in bed with Cutie. I’d come in to hang play with him when I heard him wake up from his nap.  A little later, mom joined us, because she has the boobs, and boobs make everything better.

Cutie was laying between us, nursing (on Sarah) while she and I were talking.

Then, unexpectedly, Cutie rolled over and pushed a little baby spoon he carries around with him at my mouth.

It surprised me. It bounced off my lip a little bit, and hit my teeth. It hurt just a little, about as much as it would if you poked me in the mouth with your fingernail. We’re talking… like… half a newton of force, tops.  Not enough to crack an egg.

Still, it surprised me. And it hurt just a little.

So I looked at him, and I said, “Ow.”

Didn’t shout it, didn’t bark it. Didn’t even do my disappointed dad voice.

I mention this because over the years I’ve learned my voice is a powerful thing. Where my kids are concerned, I’m one of the Bene Gesserit. I’m the Kwisatz Paterach. I’m Black Bolt.

I’m not sure why this is, exactly. I’ve got a pretty good baritone, but it’s not earthshaking by itself. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been a teacher. That I’ve been a singer. That I was a performer who never really liked using a mic until the crowds started topping 100 people and I was forced to go electric.

Maybe it’s all of those things together. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I discovered early on in my parenting career that if I wasn’t careful with my voice, I would terrify my children. Once, back when he was about 16 months old, I barked Oot’s name at him from the top of a stairway and he went into fetal crouch, trembling with animal fear.

I felt like king asshole of the universe at the time. I still do. As a parent, you slowly build a portfolio of memories. Things your children will never remember, things that you will never forget.

Standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at my terrified boy, I thought to myself, “You need to get this shit under control right now, Rothfuss…”

So I did. Slowly. Over many years.

All of this is to say that I’m very careful with my voice these days. I don’t bark. I rarely even snap or get a little sharp in my tone. There’s no need, just a little disapproval in my voice is like iron to these tiny little faen creatures I have flitting around in my life.

So. Remember where we were? Bed. Cutie. Spoon.

I looked at him and said, “Ow.” Not because he hurt me, but because I want him to know that he *can* hurt someone. He needs to learn to be careful.

“Ow,” I said. Softly.

Hearing me, Cutie turned away, facing back toward mom.

“He was trying to give you a bite,” she explained to me.

I nodded, only understanding then what he’d been trying to do with the spoon. It’s a game I’d seen Cutie play with her, but he’d never done it with me before.

Looking down at him, Sarah’s face goes concerned, then she looks up at me. “He feels bad,” she says.

Then Cutie gave a little sob. It was tiny, but it was one of those deep ones. One of the ones that comes out of you in a lump: “Uh-huh.”

When you’re a parent, you learn the different types of crying. You learn to recognize the panicked cry of a baby that’s hurt. There’s the “I can’t believe you took that away from me” cry. There’s the “I’m tired and can’t hold my shit together” cry. There’s the rare, furious red-faced rage rage rage cry. There’s the “Where’s Mom?” cry.

This wasn’t any of those. It went, “Ah-huh” and it was nothing but sadness. One sob. Pause. Then another. Then he was really crying.

He felt bad. He was sad that he’d hurt me.

I read something somewhere that said children start to develop empathy when they’re 3 years old.

I’d like to officially go on the record as saying that is bullshit.

Cutie is 13 months old. He can speak about 10 words, and those he speaks badly. He can’t run, or jump, or eat with a spoon.

But he feels bad when he hurts someone. This is something some adults have yet to learn.

He’s is my boy. My sweet boy. I am so proud of him.

pat

Also posted in babies, How to be a Worthwhile Human Being, musings, Oot | By Pat30 Responses
Published: November 14, 2014

Professional Manuscript Critiques

Edit: If you’re still hoping to get a manuscript critique, there’s a WriMos for Worldbuilders page with some available in a special lottery this year that you should really check out…

As I write this, Worldbuilders has raised more than $92,000 for Heifer International.

So here’s a video. I could claim I’m posting it because it explains what we’re doing here at Worldbuilders, but that would be a lie. I’m posting it because my kids are in it, and my kids are seriously adorable.

So there you go. That’s what we’re doing. You can donate directly to Heifer International on the Worldbuilders team page, making the world a better place while (hopefully) winning fabulous prizes.

Or you can check out the Read-And-Critique auctions below….

*     *     *

Today we’re auctioning off professional manuscript critiques from authors, editors, and agents.

This is an exceptionally rare opportunity. Authors occasionally read a manuscript for a friend, or do a quick critique at a convention. But if you want this sort of professional attention you usually have to attend a pretty serious workshop, like Clarion. Or you have to be a student at one of the rare universities that takes sci-fi and fantasy seriously enough to bring in a professional to teach a class.

You’ll notice that I personally don’t have a critique in today’s blog. That’s because if you win the favor auction I’m running, you can cash in that favor for a read-and-critique. Any manuscript. Any size. I’ll read the whole thing, mark it up, then call you on the phone and talk about it with you.

Now, before I list all the read-and-critique auctions, I’m going to have to put on my Dad Voice: a voice which contains all the baritone authority of my teacher voice, with an added subharmonic that implies if you screw this up, I’m going to be *really* disappointed in you.

“Please read the auction descriptions carefully.”

Each author, editor, or agent is handling their auction in their own way…

  • Everyone has different skill sets, and they’re each offering something slightly different.
  • Some critiques are for 15,000 words of a manuscript, others are for 150,000 words.
  • The professionals below are busy people. Critiques will have to fit in their schedules.
  • When auctions mention “X pages” of a manuscript, that’s standard manuscript format.
  • Most importantly, you’re not buying an introduction to someone’s agent or editor here. You’re not winning representation with an agent. Or a foot in the door with an editor. That’s not what’s on the block. You’re getting writing advice from a professional.

Okay. Enough preamble. Let’s move on to the awesome….

jaimeLeeMoyer_logoFinalJaime Lee Moyer is a speculative fiction writer, poet, and editor. She’s been offering up a read-and-critique with us for years, and we’re thrilled to have her back. She’s willing to comment on plot, pacing, character arc, voice, how well the “hook” or opening works, how well the story sustains her interest, and give overall, general impressions of the story. This will seriously help your story.

If you want to bid on this, head over here.

CassieAlexander

We’re always really grateful when people offer critiques that include feedback of the query letter and synopsis too. Because honestly, my lack of ability to write a decent query letter probably slowed down publication of The Name of the Wind by two years.

That’s what Cassie is offering here: a full critique includes your query letter, synopsis, and the first 15,000 words of your manuscript.

Here’s what a previous auction winner said of her critique:

“It was definitely worth it, and was probably the thing that’s helped with my writing the most. You were hard hitting on points that needed to be said, but still really supportive and complimented the things I did right. People couldn’t ask for a better person to critique their work.”

If you want to get your work critiqued by Cassie, bid over here.

Jen

Jennifer has been a literary agent since 2011, and is offering up a critique of your query letter, synopsis, and the first 15,000 words of your manuscript. She’s helped us out a in the past, and as an agent, she’s seen a *lot* of these, and has some valuable experience to share.

Bid on it over here.

  • David Pomerico will give a critique and commentary of the first 50 pages of your manuscript.

David Pomerico

David has been throwing his hat into the ring for these auctions for years, and is now the Executive Editor at Harper Voyager. He’s worked with some big names, including some New York Times bestsellers. (If you want more details, check out his auction listing).

He’s willing to read and give a detailed critique of the first 50 pages of your manuscript. You can head over here and bid.

josh

Josh is a fellow DAW author, and he’s kicked in critiques in the past. This year, he’s willing to read the first 100 pages of your novel and give you detailed notes and a general evaluation of the opening as well.

If you want this critique, there are more details over here.

josh

Not everybody writes novels. So Josh is offering up a read-and-critique of your short story. It will including a general evaluation of the story as well as some detailed notes and comments.

If you’ve got a short story, this is the guy for you. Bid on this critique over here.

  • Michael Braff will read and critique the first 50 pages of your manuscript.

Mike Braff

Michael is an editor at Del Rey, and has been for six years. He’s thrown in his critiques more than once in the past, and we’re happy to have him on board again. He’s willing to give a detailed critique and commentary of the first 50 pages of your manuscript, rounded up to the nearest chapter, which is generous.

If you want this one, bid here.

  • Michael Martinez will critique up to 25,000 words of your SF/F novel or shorter work.

Mike Martinez

Michael Martinez is an author, and is willing to read up to 25,000 words of any sci-fi or fantasy work you bring to him. He’ll give you an overall opinion, his thoughts on individual sections, and ideas on direction and ways to improve. He’s said that he’s happy to engage in a dialogue with you, which is definitely worth something.

Bid on this one over here.

  • David B. Coe will critique up to 15,000 words of your manuscript.

DavidBCoe

David B. Coe (also known as D.B. Jackson) is willing to critique some short fiction or the early chapters of your novel. He’s a prolific writer (he has 3 books coming out in 2015 alone), and he’s supported Worldbuilders for a good long time, so we really like him.

If you want a novel or short story critique, head over here and bid.

Bradley P. Beaulieu

Bradley P. Beaulieu graciously offered one story or chapter critique of up to 10,000 words. Brad’s offered critiques in the past, and everyone at Worldbuilders was glad to see him back again for more. Apart from writing a ridiculous amount of epic fantasy, Brad also kicked in a stretch goal last year, because he’s cool like that.

If you would like to bask in the coolness, by all means bid over here.

  • Michael R. Underwood will critique your submission packet AND have a Skype consultation on the feedback.

Michael R. Underwood

Mike writes a lot about geekiness, which is always a bonus in our book. This year, he’s willing to critique your query letter, synopsis, and the first 10,000 words of your manuscript. He will then have a Skype conversation with you to discuss the feedback, which we think is extra cool.

If you want your entire packet critiqued, head over here and bid.

  • Matt Bialer, my agent, will read up to 20,000 words of your manuscript.

Matt Bialer

Matt kicks in this critique every year. And my book would not be as good as it is today without him and his help.

He’s offering up a general evaluation of the book, with the perspective of the issues that could be raised by editors at publishing houses. It’s a really great perspective to have.

Matt also managed to jump in with us this morning, so his auction will be live later tonight. You’ll be able to bid on this one over here as soon as it’s live.

  • Worldbuilders Monkey Brett will read and critique your manuscript.

Brett Monkey

Brett has been one of my longest standing friends and readers. He’s given me invaluable feedback on all my books, Name of the Wind, The Wise Man’s Fear, and The Slow Regard of Silent Things.

What’s more, he’s a great writer in his own right. Not only is he currently the voice behind a lot of the Worldbuilders website content and auction descriptions, he’s done webcomic work, amusing movie reviews, and plenty of longer-form horror fiction. He also has a brilliant novel waiting in the wings that I keep pestering him to publish, too….

Suffice to say, he does great critique. If you want to get his advice on your work, bid here.

* * *

Lastly, a success story.

Back in 2010, Gabriel Squailia won a read and critique in a Worldbuilders auction. He got it from my agent, Matt Bialer, and Matt was impressed enough to offer to represent Gabriel.

In spring of 2015, Gabriel’s first book is going to be published.

DeadBoysCover

We here at Worldbuilders think this is pretty awesome.

Now let me say it again. We’re not in any way claiming that this sort of thing will happen if you win one of the auctions. You’re buying a critique, and that’s it. Even so, this is proof that these critiques can lead to good things. It could happen. It has happened.

So there you go. Here’s a link to all the auctions Worldbuilders is currently running. Keep in mind that there’s enough of them that they spill onto a second page.

Keep being awesome people.

pat

Also posted in Oot, the business of writing, the craft of writing, videos, Worldbuilders 2014 | By Pat16 Responses
Published: October 17, 2014

Book Tour Part II – FAQ and Other Ways to Get a Signed Book.

So in my last blog I announced where I was stopping for my book tour. Now let’s talk details.

Specifically, let’s answer some questions that people have asked.

More specifically, how about *I* answer the questions. That seems like the reasonable thing to do, as I’m the one typing right now.

*     *     *

1. You aren’t doing a signing near me! Why? Why don’t you come to Cleveland? Why don’t you come to Tampa? Why don’t you come to Minnesota? Why do you hate me?

I’m paraphrasing here, but whenever I post up information about a signing, this is the great cry that seems to go up from the comments section.

What’s extra disheartening is when people ask me why why WHY I never come to, say, Boston, when I was just in Boston earlier this year. I attended a convention that was open for anyone to attend. And I did a reading and two booksignings that were completely free and open to the public.

Anyway, there are really two answers to this question, the snarky one and the honest one. Let’s do the snarky first.

Or rather, I’ll let the lovely folks at Penny Arcade do it for me. I love the comic they wrote a couple years ago when they went on book tour….

784826530_YCn46-L

The honest answer shouldn’t surprise any of you. There simply isn’t time. These tours take a ton of time and energy. And I have writing to do. I have a fundraiser to plan. And I have two kids who miss me when I’m gone.

Cutie pudge

Cutie has just reached the age where we can play games with each other. He honks my nose. He like to be tickled. When he sees me come in the door he gets excited and crawls toward me. Sometimes he says “da” and it seems like he actually means something by it.

So I’m only doing a week’s worth of tour. I’m sorry. I wish it were otherwise. I wish I could be many places at once. And fly. And stop time. And magically produce an endless supply of cake.

But I can’t. So.

1b. Is there any book-tour outside the US around the corner? Say, Europe? ^^

Nope. See above. I’ll probably hit a few countries next year. But nothing’s scheduled yet.

1c. Any plans to do anything local? Point or Wausau?

Not really. Sorry.

2. What are your book signings like?

Well, they’re not just signings, actually.

At the start of the event, I spend about an hour reading some stuff, telling stories, and doing Q&A with the audience. That will last for about an hour. Then I sign books. Many many books.

(Also note that at some of the events, I’ll be having musical guests kicking off the show for me.)

2b. Will you sing?

I have been known to sing.

3. How long do you think these events will be? I’m asking because I may or may not have somewhere to go to afterwords, and if I do, I’d like to be there around 9:00ish (which means leaving the bookstore at like 8:45). Do you think that’s possible?

Well. Anything is possible. But I don’t think it’s terribly likely.

Let’s say the event starts at 7:00. I read and answer questions and make jokes until 8:00. Then the signing starts.

Let’s say there are only 300 people there, (as opposed to the 500-800 that I’m expecting to some of these events.) Also assume it takes me 30 seconds to sign each person’s book(s).

Now assume that you’re on a train traveling west at 40 miles an hour. You have a load of turnips that weighs eighteen tons and Syracuse is 180 miles away. Given the coefficient of friction and the cost of diesel fuel, I think its safe to assume that if you want your book personalized, you’re going to be standing in line for a couple of hours. Because nobody likes turnips. Seriously.

4. Will I have the chance to just grab a signed book and go home after your reading? I’m mostly there for your signature. I don’t need you to write, “For Tabitha” in my book. I know my own name….

At all my events, you’ll have the chance to buy pre-signed books. That way you can come for the show, then grab a book and head out without having to stand in line.

5. Do you know when your book will come out in other countries? 

I was going to try and gather all this information together and post it. Then I remembered that there’s this cool new invention called the internet. You might have heard about it because you’re on it right now.

Using the internet, you could probably find this information out yourself.

Alternately, you could call your local bookstore and ask them. It’s their job to know these things.

It’s not that I don’t want to help. It’s just that you can honestly get this information faster for yourself than I can get it for you. My work is being translated into more than thirty languages in many, many countries. It would take me hours to put that list together.

Or you could google around a bit on your own. Or pick up the phone. Then I could spend my time writing instead.

Sound like a good idea?

6. I can’t go to any of your tour dates, but I’m really close to San Diego, how can I get at least a signed copy? I’m so sad!

Yes. There are many places where you can get signed copies of the book.

Details are down at the bottom of the blog, in question #18

7. Will you sign copies of The Name of the Wind or The Wise Man’s Fear?

Hell yes. Just because I have a new baby doesn’t mean I don’t love my first baby.

8. Will there be hardcover copies of The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear available to purchase at your signings?

Almost certainly. But if you want to make sure you get one, the smart thing to do would be to call the bookstore and reserve a copy.

9. Will there be copies of The Princess and Mr. Whiffle available at your signings?

Maybe. Very maybe. Most bookstores only know about me because of The Name of the Wind. If you want to buy a Princess book, I’d suggest you call the store and try to reserve one. If they don’t have one in stock, I’m sure they’d be happy to order one in for you, which they can do by emailing us at princess [at] patrothfuss.com. Bookstores love selling books, you know.

9b. Will I get a special promotional sticker if I buy a copy of the Princess book at the store?

MR_Whiffle_Sticker_Scale_Final_1024x1024

Good idea. I’ll throw some of those in my luggage. So yes. You can have a sticker.

10. I know in the past folks have brought tokens of esteem, such as cookies or mead. Would you like a bottle of tasty, homebrewed peach wine, as a small “Thank you” for all the happiness your books have wrought? Or perhaps you’d prefer smaller/more easily consumed things?

You really don’t have to bring me presents. I mean it.

That said, if you’d like to bring something. Please feel free. Bring whatever makes you happiest.

But do remember that I’m probably going to have to ship it home. So really big/fragile things can be problematic.

11. Do you hug?

I have been known to hug.

That said, you might want to refer to the logistical issues I mention up in question #3. It might have to be a short hug.

And watch those hands.

12. Do you only hug young girls?

No. I’m all about equal opportunity affection.

Beardy redheaded kiss

I’d just like to say that not only is that the beardiest three-way kiss ever. Not only is dude’s hair the brightest red I’ve ever seen. But he was also a priest.

So I can cross that off my bucket list.

Seriously though, I’m not going to get frisky with everyone there. Not only would I catch some sort of terrible disease. But again, time is going to be an issue.

13. I want to buy a Kingkiller t-shirt to wear to your signing, but I can’t find the link to your store, the Tinker’s Sack. What’s the URL?

Here’s the link for you.

And by the way, it’s called The Tinker’s Pack. Pack. With a “P”.

The Tinker’s Sack would be a whole different sort of website. I don’t know what they’d sell there, but I don’t think I’d want to buy any….

14. I’m looking forward to hearing you read, but I hate spoilers. Do I need to be afraid?

I hate spoilers, too. So you don’t need to worry about me giving away big secrets like the fact that Auri is really Kaiser Soze.

14.You’re coming to my town, but I’m going to have to miss your signing by just a couple hours because of attend class/go to work/catch a plane/etc.  Can I meet up with you a little earlier and have you sign my book?

I’m sorry. But my schedule is way too tight to do anything like that. A lot of times, I won’t even be flying into town until a couple hours before the signing.

But if it’s your hometown, you can just call the bookstore and reserve a copy. Whenever I do a signing, the bookstore has me sign a bunch of books for people that couldn’t make it to the event.

16. Will you Sign my Nook/Kindle/E-reader?

Yes. This is something that I’ve done before.

signed nook

17. Is it better for you if I buy your book at any particular store? Or in any particular way? (Nook? Hardcover?) I love your books, and so I want to support you as much as I can.

Over the last month, I’ve had more than a dozen messages like this. It just goes to prove something I already knew, that my readers are delightfully considerate human beings.

For the most part, it doesn’t matter where you buy the book, though I do usually encourage people to shop locally. Because supporting your local economy is a good thing.

If you *really* want to help, you could make a point of buying the book close to the release date. The more people that buy the book in that first week (or pre-order it) the better chance I have for showing up on bestseller lists. And showing up on those lists helps sell more books, keeps my publisher happy, and generally gives my career a little bump.

18. I can’t make it to any of your signings, is there anywhere else I can get a signed book?

Yes. I went to great pains to sign a bunch of tip-in sheets for my books.

20140917_065142

(I mean that literally. By the end of signing these, pain was shooting up my arm.)

We’ve distributed these pre-signed books to many different bookstores all over the country so that they can be easily accessible to as many of you as possible.

Below is a list of all the bookstores that will have signed books, organized by state:

  • Alaska

Fireside Books
720 S Alaska St
Palmer, AK 99645
http://www.goodbooksbadcoffee.com/
Phone: 907-745-2665

Homer Bookstore Inc
332 E Pioneer Ave   Ste 1
Homer, AK 99603
http://www.homerbookstore.com/
Phone: 907-235-7496

  • Arizona

Poisoned Pen
4014 N Goldwater Blvd Ste 101
Scottsdale, AZ 85251

The Latest from the Pen


Phone: 480-947-2974

University Of Arizona Bookstore
1209 E University Blvd
Tucson, AZ 85721
http://uabookstore.arizona.edu/
Phone: 520-621-2426

  • California

Book Seller
107 Mill St
Grass Valley, CA 95945
http://thebookseller.biz/
Phone: 530-272-2131

Borderlands Books
866 Valencia St
San Francisco, CA 94110-1739
http://www.borderlands-books.com/
Phone: 415-824-8203

Book Passage Inc
51 Tamal Vista Blvd
Corte Madera, CA 94925
http://www.bookpassage.com/
Phone: 415-927-0960

Bookshop Santa Cruz
1520 Pacific Avenue
Santa Cruz, CA 95060
http://www.bookshopsantacruz.com/
Phone: 831-423-0900

Almost Perfect Bookstore
1901 Douglas Blvd
Roseville, CA 95661
Phone: 916-781-7935

Mysterious Galaxy
7051 Clairemont Mesa Blvd
San Diego, CA 92111
http://www.mystgalaxy.com/
Phone: 858-268-4747

The Booksmith
1644 Haight St
San Francisco, CA 94117
http://www.booksmith.com/
Phone: 415-863-8688

Vromans Bookstore
695 E Colorado Blvd
Pasadena, CA 91101
http://www.vromansbookstore.com/
Phone: 626-449-5320

  • Colorado

Boulder Bookstore
1107 Pearl St
Boulder, CO 80302
http://boulderbookstore.indiebound.com/
Phone: 303-447-2074

Old Firehouse Books
232 Walnut
Fort Collins, CO 80524
http://www.oldfirehousebooks.com/
Phone: 970-484-7898

Who Else Books
200 S Broadway – Broadway Book Mall
Denver, CO 80209
http://www.whoelsebooks.com/
Phone: 303-744-2665

Bookworm Of Edwards
295 Main St C101
Edwards, CO 81632
http://www.bookwormofedwards.com/
Phone: 970-926-7323

Old Firehouse Books
232 Walnut Street
Fort Collins, CO 80524
http://www.oldfirehousebooks.com/
Phone: 970-484-7898

Off The Beaten Path
68 9Th St
Steamboat Springs, CO 80487
http://www.steamboatbooks.com/
Phone: 970-879-6830

Marias Bookshop
960 Main Ave
Durango, CO 81301
http://www.mariasbookshop.com/
Phone: 970-247-1438

  • Florida

Classic Bookshop
310 S County Rd
Palm Beach, FL 33480
http://www.classicbookshop.com/
Phone: 561-655-2485

  • Idaho

Rediscovered Books
180 N 8Th St
Boise, ID 83702
http://www.rdbooks.org/
Phone: 208-376-4229

  • Illinois

The Book Table, Inc.
1045 Lake St
Oak Park, IL 60301-1101
http://www.booktable.net/
Phone: 708-386-9800

Unabridged Books
3251 N Broadway St Ste 1
Chicago, IL 60657-3555
http://www.unabridgedbookstore.com/
Phone: 773-883-9119

57th Street Books
1301 E 57Th St
Chicago, IL 60637
http://www.semcoop.com/
Phone: 773-684-1300

City Lit Books
2523 N Kedzie Blvd
Chicago, IL 60647
http://www.citylitbooks.com/
Phone: 773-235-2523

  • Indiana

Vons Book Shop
315 W State St
West Lafayette, IN 47906-3594
http://www.vonsshops.com/
Phone: 765-743-1915

  • Kansas

Mysteryscape Llc
7309 W 80Th St
Overland Park, KS 66204
http://www.mysteryscape.com/
Phone: 913-649-0000

  • Massachusetts

Pandemonium Books And Games
4 Pleasant St
Cambridge, MA 2139
http://www.pandemoniumbooks.com/
Phone: 617-547-3721

Concord Bookshop
65 Main St
Concord, MA 1742
http://www.concordbookshop.com/
Phone: 978-369-2405

Bookloft
332 Stockbridge Rd
Great Barrington, MA 01230-1235
http://www.thebookloft.com/
Phone: 413-528-1521

Brookline Booksmith
279 Harvard St
Brookline, MA 02446
http://www.brooklinebooksmith.com/Brookline, MA
Phone: 617-566-6660

Odyssey Bookshop
9 College St
South Hadley, MA 01075
http://www.odysseybks.com/
Phone: 413-534-7307

Jabberwocky Bookshop
50 Water St Mill Bldg # 1
Newburyport, MA 01950-2899
http://www.jabberwockybookshop.com/
Phone: 978-465-9359

Porter Square Books
25 White St
Cambridge, MA 02140
http://www.portersquarebooks.com/
Phone: 617-491-2220

Harvard Bookstore Inc
1256 Massachusetts Ave
Cambridge, MA 02138
http://www.harvard.com/
Phone: 617-661-1515

  • Maine

Devaney Doak & Garrett Bksler
193 Broadway
Farmington, ME 04938-5909
http://www.ddgbooks.com/
Phone: 207-778-3454

Maine Coast Book Shop
158 Main St
Damariscotta, ME 4543
http://www.mainecoastbookshop.com/
Phone: 888-563-3207

  • Michigan

Between The Covers
106 E Main St
Harbor Springs, MI 49740
Phone: 231-526-6658

Snow Bound Books
118 N 3Rd
Marquette, MI 49855-4304
http://www.snowboundbooks.com/
Phone: 906-228-4448

Taylors Books & More
60 W Chicago St
Coldwater, MI 49036-1617
http://www.taylorsstationers.com/
Phone: 517-279-8046

  • Minnesota

Common Good Books
38 S Snelling
Saint Paul, MN 55105
http://www.commongoodbooks.com/
Phone: 651-225-8989

Uncle Hugos Sci Fic B/S
2864 Chicago Ave
Minneapolis, MN 55407
http://www.unclehugo.com/prod/index.shtml
Phone: 612-824-6347

University Of Minnesota Bookstore
300 Washington Ave Se
Minneapolis, MN 55455
https://www.bookstores.umn.edu/
Phone: 612-625-6000

Moon Palace Books
2820 E 33Rd St
Minneapolis, MN 55406
http://www.moonpalacebooks.com/
Phone: 612-454-0455

  • Missouri

Rascal Books
11617 Mcgee
Kansas City, MO 64114
Phone: 816-591-0389

  • Montana

Shakespeare & Co
103 S 3Rd St W
Missoula, MT 59801
http://www.shakespeareandco.com/
Phone: 406-549-9010

  • North Carolina

Quail Ridge Books
3522 Wade Ave
Raleigh, NC 27607
http://www.quailridgebooks.com/
Phone: 919-828-1588

Bulls Head Bookstore
207 South Road
Chapel Hill, NC 27599
http://www.store.unc.edu/
Phone: (919) 962-5066

Park Road Books
4139 Park Rd -Park Rd S/C
Charlotte, NC 28209-2229
http://www.parkroadbooks.com/
Phone: 704-525-9239

Malaprops Book Store
55 Haywood St
Asheville, NC 28801-2834
http://www.malaprops.com/
Phone: 828-254-6734

Missing Volume
P O BOX 97274
Raleigh, NC 27624
http://www.themissingvolume.com/
Phone: 321-297-6635

City Lights Bookstore
3 E Jackson St
Sylva, NC 28779
http://www.citylightsnc.com/
Phone: 828-586-9499

  • New Hampshire

Innisfree Bookshop
312 Daniel Webster Hwy
Meredith, NH 3253
Phone: 603-279-3905

Water Street Bookstore
125 Water St
Exeter, NH 3833
http://www.waterstreetbooks.com/
Phone: 603-778-9731

Country Bookseller
23A N Main St – Durgin Stables
Wolfeboro, NH 3894
http://www.thecountrybookseller.com/
Phone: 603-569-6030

  • New York

Lift Bridge Bookshop
45 Main St
Brockport, NY 14420
http://www.liftbridgebooks.com/
Phone: 585-637-2260

Flights Of Fantasy
381 Sand Creek Rd
Albany, NY 12205
http://www.fof.net/
Phone: 518-435-9337

Book House Of Stuyvesant Plaza
1475 Western Ave – Stuyvesant Plaza
Albany, NY 12203
http://bookhouse.indiebound.com/
Phone: 518-489-4761

  • Ohio

Larry Smith-Bookseller
3824 Patricia Dr
Upper Arlington, OH 43220
http://www.fantasyliterature.com/
Phone: 614-442-1010

  • Oregon

V J Books
12250 Sw Myslony St
Tualatin, OR 97062-8041
http://www.vjbooks.com/
Phone: 503-750-5310

Powell’s Books
1005 W Burnside St. between 10th and 11th Ave.
Portland, OR 97209
http://www.powells.com/
Phone: 800-878-7323

  • Rhode Island

Barrington Books
184 County Rd
Barrington, RI 02806
http://www.barringtonbooks.com/
Phone: 401-245-7925

  • South Carolina

Fiction Addiction
1175 Woods Crossing Rd #5
Greenville, SC 29607
http://www.fiction-addiction.com/
Phone: 864-675-0540

  • South Dakota

Mitzis Main Street Books
510 Main St
Rapid City, SD 57701-2734
http://www.mitzisbooks.com/
Phone: 605-721-2665

  • Texas

Blue Willow Book Shop
14532 Memorial Dr At Dairy Ashford
Houston, TX 77079-5431
http://www.bluewillowbookshop.com/
Phone: 281-497-8675

Book People Inc
603 N Lamar
Austin, TX 78703
http://www.bookpeople.com/
Phone: 512-472-5050

The Book Spot
1205 Round Rock Ave #119
Round Rock, TX 78681
http://www.juliesbookspot.com/
Phone: 512-351-3284

  • Utah

Kings English
1511 S 1500 E
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
http://www.kingsenglish.com/
Phone: 801-484-9100

Weller Book Works
607 Trolley Sq
Salt Lake City, UT 84102
http://www.wellerbookworks.com/
Phone: 801-328-2586

University Of Utah Bookstore
270 S 1500 E Rear
Salt Lake City, UT 84112
http://www.campusstore.utah.edu/utah/Home.aspx
Phone: 801-581-6326

  • Virginia

Chop Suey Books
2913 W Cary St
Richmond, VA 23221
http://www.chopsueybooks.com/
Phone: 804-422-8066

  • Washington

Village Books
1200 11Th St
Bellingham, WA 98225
http://villagebooks.com/
Phone: 360-671-2626

Snow Goose Book Store
8616 271St St Nw
Stanwood, WA 98292
http://www.snowgoosebookstore.com/
Phone: 360-629-3631

  • Wisconsin

Janke Bookstore
505 3Rd St
Wausau, WI 54403
http://www.jankebookstore.com/
Phone: 715-845-9648

Boswell Book Co
2559 N Downer Ave
Milwaukee, WI 53211
http://boswell.indiebound.com/
Phone: 414-332-1181

Tribeca Gallery, Cafe & Books
401 E Main St
Watertown, WI 53094

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Phone: 920-206-2885

Books & Company
1039 Summit Ave
Oconomowoc, WI 53066
http://www.booksco.com/
Phone: 262-567-0106

  • Online stores:

Thinkgeek, Inc
http://www.thinkgeek.com/

Books-A-Million
http://www.booksamillion.com/

Barnes and Noble
http://www.BN.com/

Hastings Books & Music
http://www.gohastings.com/index.jsp

Half Price Books
http://www.hpb.com/

Note that there aren’t an unlimited supply of these, so you might want to call your local bookstore ahead of time and pre-order or reserve your copy. Bookstores love it when you do that.

If none of these stores are close to you, note that many of them will happily ship to you. Or you can call some of the online stores right there at the end of the list.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll probably be doing one more blog talking about the tour next week, so if you have additional questions, you can ask them in the comments below.

Later Space Cowboys,

pat

Also posted in appearances, The Adventures of The Princess and Mr. Whiffle, the longest fucking blog ever | By Pat68 Responses
Published: October 9, 2014

Slow Regard of Silent Things: The Touring

First, very quickly, I should mention that I’m going to be out in New York this weekend, attending NYCC. If you’re attending, I look forward to greeting you with genial but non-contagious fist-bumps.

Not a convention sort of person? I’m also doing a show with Paul and Storm on Friday night at 8:00. You can get tickets here.

Don’t live in New York? Well, check out the rest of the blog, because I’m hitting several cities this month, and odds are you’re close to one of them….

*     *     *

So. The Slow Regard of Silent Things comes out at the end of the month.

20141009_051940

(As always, guest starring my thumb.)

That means it’s time to talk book tour.

When book two came out, I did my first for-real tour: 16 events in 15 days. Nobody was quite sure what was going to happen, least of all me.

It was brutal, exhausting, amazing, fun, surreal, and strange.

On the first day over 600 people turned out in Seattle, and we filled the University Bookstore until it was overflowing….

Book tour pictures 003

If you embiggen that picture, you can see tiny figures stretching back to the back wall. And it doesn’t show a similar amount of people off on the lefthand side. Or the ones behind the bookshelves, or around the corner, or standing on the stairs….

Our event in San Fransisco ran out of space weeks before the event, so I did a second reading/signing at Borderlands Books. 300 people showed up to that second event, despite the fact that it was midnight on a Thursday.

Book tour pictures 005

In Portland, so many people showed up that Powell’s ran out of books.

Yeah. Think about that for a second, Powell’s ran out of books.

That was just the first three days of the tour. The biggest thing we learned was that there are a *lot* of you. More specifically, there are a lot of you who want to come to these readings/signings. People drove for hours. People skipped work. People flew in from out of state. People attended on their birthdays and anniversaries.

Over the years, I’ve coined the phrase “Catastrophic Success.” Some of my signings were like that. They were so successful that things couldn’t help but go wrong. Lines were hard to manage. Fire codes were violated.

Worst of all, people that came to hear me read and answer questions didn’t get to hear me. Or they didn’t get a seat. Or both.

What’s your point, Rothfuss?

My point is, for this tour, we’re trying something different in a few cities. Knowing we’re going to get a lot of people, some bookstores went out of their way to get bigger venues. Places that have seats for 600-800 people. Places with good sound equipment.

Unfortunately, that means the bookstores have to pay for these venues. Which means they have to sell tickets to the events.

This is something I’ve always tried to avoid. But at this point it seems like the only way to keep things manageable. And you can show up to the signing knowing that there will be space for you, and you won’t have to stand at the back of the bookstore behind a bookcase where you can’t see or hear anything that’s going on.

First off, let me stress that if you end up going to one of the ticketed events, the cost of the ticket will include a signed book. 

Every event is a little different though. Different venues have different rules. You should look below for details, and if worse comes to worst, ask a question in the comments and I’ll answer it.

Tour Stops (in chronological order)

  • October 28: Portland OR
7:30pm, Hosted by Powell’s Books,
Newmark Theatre
1111 SW Broadway
Portland, OR 97205
 
Facebook Event
Tickets available here. Tickets are $28.95 and include a copy of the book.

There are some unfortunate surcharges attached to this ticket price. To make it up to you, I contacted The Doubleclicks, and asked them if they’d be willing to do a couple songs to open the show. They graciously agreed, so you’re going to get a little something extra there.

If I’ve had enough caffeine, I might even sing a song with them….

  • October 29:  San Diego CA
 7:30pm, Mysterious Galaxy
7051 Clairemont Mesa Blvd.
San Diego, CA 92111
Phone: 858-268-4747
Facebook Event

People who buy books at the store starting on Release Day will get a number ticket for the line. Everyone is welcome, but folks who bought their books through Mysterious Galaxy will get to be first in line. They’re hosting the event, so that’s fair…

  • October 30:  Seattle WA
7:00pm, Hosted by University Book Store,
University Temple
1415 NE 43rd St.
Seattle, WA 98105
Facebook Event
Tickets available here.

Tickets for this event are $18.95. Each ticket will get seats for TWO people and one signed book.

Also, we’ve got the fabulous Molly Lewis doing a couple songs to start off the show for me. Because I figure if you have a theater, you might as well do some real music in it, and for that, we need a real musician.

There may be singing….

  • October 31: Boswell Books, Milwaukee WI
7:00pm, Hosted by Boswell Book Company
The UWM Union Ballroom
2200 E. Kenwood Ave.
Milwaukee, WI 53211
Facebook Event
Tickets available here.

The ticket price is $22.00 and includes a copy of the book. It’s Halloween, so costumes are encouraged….

  • November 1: Lexington KY
7:00pm, Joseph-Beth Booksellers
161 Lexington Green Circle
Lexington, KY 40503
Phone: 859-273-2911
Facebook Event
  • November 2: Skokie, IL
3:00pm  (Note Earlier Time)  Barnes & Noble
55 Old Orchard Center
Skokie, IL 60077
Phone: 847-676-2230
Facebook Event
  • November 3: Fenton, MO
7:00pm, Barnes & Noble
721 Gravois Road
Fenton, MO 63026
Facebook Event

*     *     *

And there we are. Not nearly as many events as I did with book two. But I have two kids now, Oot is five, and misses me when I’m gone. What’s more, Cutie is 10 months old, an age where he is composed entirely of giggles and grinning pink pudge.

20140828_213229

I can’t spend twenty days away from the both of them. It’s not healthy for them, and it’s not healthy for me.

If you have any questions, hit us in the comments below and we’ll do our best to answer.

And if you’re not close to any of those cities, stay tuned to the blog. I’ll be posting up information about how you can get signed copies of the book, even if you can’t make it to a signing…

See some of you soon,

pat

Also posted in appearances, signing books, upcoming publications | By Pat103 Responses
Published: July 3, 2014

The Upcoming Festivities….

Not to let the cat out of the bag early here, but I figured I’d share what we having coming up on July 7th with those of you who make a habit of reading the blog.

Maybe this is a little silly, but I think of y’all… I don’t know really. I don’t want to say something like “core readership” because if you start using phrases like “core readership” then odds are you’re not far from using the word “utilize” instead of “use.” After that you’re only a few steps from enthusiastically using the term ‘synergy’ in regular conversation. And once that happens… well… it’s just a ever-tightening spiral until the end.

So while I don’t know what to call y’all exactly, I do think of the people who read this blog as the readers I know best, as I do make an effort to read the comments you write here. I also think of you guys as the folks that know *me* best, as you take the time to read through my great rambling bloggings.

By the way, have I mentioned that Cutie Snoo has just started to crawl? He’s wobbly as a youtube kitten. But when he sees something he wants to grab and stick in his gob, no amount of tipping over or face-planting will deter him. Seriously, the raw determination he possesses is really astounding.

In other cute-kid news, tonight I was feeling a little down. So I asked Oot if he would like to cuddle. He did, so we curled up on the couch. Then, while telling me a story he thrashed around dramatically and kicked me right in the nuts.

It was one of those good, sharp kicks. Where you’re given a moment of pain-free grace in which to think: I’m pretty sure he got me. But it doesn’t actually *hurt.* Maybe he just grazed them. Maybe….

And then, just when you start to really hope, the pain slowly blossoms. Like a lump of raw nausea forged from dull red iron.

I didn’t freak out on him. He didn’t mean to do it. He was just being a kid, and it was an accident.

Besides, years ago I worked out how to deal with these situations: Every time he kicks me in the nuts, I just make a note of it. Then, when he turns 16, gets his license, and asks to borrow the car, I’m going to say “no.” I’m going to say “no” once for every time he’s kicked me in the nuts.

At this point, he won’t be able to borrow the car until he’s 35.

20140604_061332

Sleep tight you innocent little fucker. Someday you’ll have kids, and they’ll kick you square in the junk and I will laugh and laugh and laugh.

Anyway, back to business. The upcoming festivities.

On the 7th we’re doing something new with Worldbuilders.  An experiment of sorts.

As most of you know, we tend to run a big fundraiser at the end of the year. We raise money for Heifer International by running a big lottery, some auctions, and occasionally selling things in the Tinker’s Packs.

This year, we’re trying something a little different. Instead of waiting a whole year, we’re going to do another smaller fundraiser here in July. Instead of having it last for a month, it’s only going to be one week long. Instead of having a big lottery and auctions, we’re going to be running it as an IndiGogo Campaign. So if you see something and think it’s awesome, you can just buy it. (As opposed to hoping you win it in the lottery, or bidding on it in an auction.)

The Worldbuilders Team has been putting this together for a couple months now, and we’re going to have some cool stuff in there: Book Bundles, a new T-shirt,  a Princess and Mr. Whiffle coloring book. AND we’re launching the 2015 calendar. Probably my favorite calendar we’ve done so far….

We’ve got cool stuff. Scads of it.

But, as always happens when you’re trying something for the first time, I’m getting a little nervous.

For one thing, we don’t really have a good name for it yet. The Worldbuilders Mid-Year Indigogo Geektastic Fundraiser doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.

The other thing I’m a little nervous about is whether or not we’re going to be able to effectively spread the word about the fundraiser in this time frame. The entire thing is only going to be a week long….

Do you guys have any good ideas about what we might be able to call this? (And yes, I’m aware of the irony involved in my asking for help in giving something a name.)

Also, do y’all have any bright ideas about how we might be able to spread the word?

Ideas welcome in the comments below. Or, if you’d like to offer a particular type of help, you can contact us on the Worldbuilders page.

Stay hoopy fellow froods,

pat

Also posted in calling on the legions, Oot, Worldbuilders | By Pat199 Responses
Published: June 14, 2014

Adventures in Texas and Arizona

Well, I’m back from a week on the road, having hit Phoenix comic-con, Austin, and Dallas.

I always mean to chronicle these trips on the blog, but I rarely end up doing it. I never got around to talking about my trip to Spain where 2000 people showed up for my signing in Madrid. Or the second half of the story where I was at House on the Rock with Neil Gaiman….

Hell, I’ve never even gotten around to telling the stories of my first trip to Europe, and that was nearly five years ago.

So, rather than try and give a cohesive narrative of recent events down in Texas and Arizona, I’m just going to give some you the good-bits version. Sort of like a blog montage. A Blontage. Or perhaps a mog.

  • Phoenix ComicCon:

This was the first time hitting Phoenix ComicCon. And I have to say, I really enjoyed it. I literally *have* to say that. It’s in my contract.

Seriously though, I had a really good time. The main reason I went to the convention is because I’d heard they treated their authors really well, and had a really solid track of writer-centered programming.

And it was all true. They took very good care of me, and brought in a bunch of other authors, leading to some of the best panels I think I’ve ever been on. And I don’t say that lightly.

Batsu

Above is an actual picture from an actual panel. That’s John Scalzi body-checking Chuck Wendig while Aprilynne Pike looks on with near-teenage levels of ennui.

It was the Batsu Panel. It’s a long story.

On Friday night I had a show with Paul and Storm & John Scalzi, with other special guests including Amber Benson and Seanan McGuire. Needless to say, that was pretty awesome time.

This was also the first big con I’ve attended with my entire family.

Oot liked it.

20140606_180155

Sarah and Cutie had a pretty good time too…

20140606_180147

Most Awkward moment of the Con:

A guy comes up and says: Hey, can I introduce you to one of my friends? He looks just like you!

Me: Is it just a guy with a beard?

Him: No. He looks just like you!

He leaves and comes back with his friend, who is, in all fairness, a white male with brown hair and a full beard. However, we do not look very much alike aside from that.

Highly caffeinated, I hold forth on the subject that not all guys with beards look the same. People send me e-mails like that all the time. I don’t look like fucking Zach Galifianakis. We just both have fucking beards.

My screed is so sudden an intense that after a few minutes, both of them just walk away.

Then I feel guilty.

Near Miss of the Con:

John Scalzi and I almost kissed during the Author Batsu Panel, but then we stopped because Delilah S. Dawson cracked under the pressure.

Best part of the Con:

I had a short  break in my schedule on Saturday. So Oot and sat on the floor for an hour, shared an ice cream cone, and looked at costumes together.

It’s the best time I’ve had in a long, long while.

Best Quote from Oot: “Dad, that guy looks like the fancy man from Pirates of the Kerosene!”

 

  • Austin:

Signing at Independent bookstore: Book People.

Despite the fact that we only set up the event a week ahead of time, about 450 people turned up for the signing. It was a good time.

Someone brought me cookies with the multifarious covers of my books on them:

20140610_120612

I also got to see the Lego Trouper Wagon I mentioned on the blog a while back:

20140609_211334

You can still vote for it to become an official thing at Lego if you want.

I signed a saxophone, hugged a few people, and just generally had a good time. If you’d like more of the details, you can read about the event over here on their blog.

Best Quote: “My husband got to kiss Neil Patrick Harris. Will you kiss me?”

  • Barbeque and Breathing Fire:

The day after my signing, when I admitted that I’d never had Barbeque before, Paul & Storm and Brian Brushwood set out to fix the situation. It was good.

Then we went back to Brian’s place and he brought out his gear.

20140610_151123

(Note: the Play Doh was not part of the gear.)

Then Brian taught us how to eat fire. For reals.

Why would I do such a thing? Honestly, that question doesn’t even make sense. Why would I *not* do such a thing?

But the other reason is that this was the $575,000 stretch goal from last year’s Worldbuilders fundraiser.

Pat eating fire screenshot

I had a blast, and didn’t hurt myself hardly at all. We’ll be posting up a video showing the results as soon as we have a chance to edit things together.

  • Dallas.

On my last day in Texas, I got to hang out briefly with the cool folks who produce Cyanide and Happiness. Then it was off to do my last show with Paul and Storm.

Here we are during the infamous pirate song (The Captain’s Wife’s Lament.)

paulstorm-038

(The bottle of mead was also a gift from a fan.)

All in all, it was a rollicking good time. But honestly, I’m glad to be home.

*     *     *

Stay tuned to the blog. In just a couple days, we’ll be posting some long-anticipated stuff up in the Tinker’s Packs. We have limited quantities, and it’s going to be first-come first-serve.

Mark Talent Jot Drab Drab

Take care of each other folks,

pat

Also posted in Acts of Whimsy, conventions, Oot, Tales from the Con | By Pat28 Responses
Published: February 15, 2014

Love Redux

So last year I made a post on Valentines day that happened to be about love.

I wasn’t happy about that, as I’ve got a strong iconoclastic element in my personality. And writing about love on Valentines day is just… it just feels so fucking Hallmark.

But something happened a couple days ago, and it’s been spinning in my head ever since. When that happens, I have to tell a story about it, because that’s just how I’m wired.

So. I’m writing about love again, not because it’s Valentines day, but despite that.

I just want to make it clear this isn’t going to be a yearly thing. Okay? Okay.

*     *     *

A couple days ago, my baby boy smiled at me. A little crooked smile, a smirk.

Cutie - 8 weeks

(The onesie was a gift from a fan. Honest.)

A few days before that, I got my first smile. Today I got several. He also said, “goo” a couple times. I’m not even kidding. It’s amazingly cute.

Here’s the thing. He also smiled at the ceiling fan. He *really* likes the ceiling fan. Given the choice between the ceiling fan and me, the fan will win 3 times out of 4.

But you know what’s strange? I don’t mind. I really don’t.

I don’t mind that he smiles and coos at his mom more than me. It doesn’t make me sad that the ceiling fan takes second place, and that almost any window with a sunlight behind it is a close third.

I’m fine being fourth in line for smiles. I’m just happy to be on the list.

Standing there, holding my new baby, I had a strange sort of revelation. I was feeling a type of love that was in no way jealous.

I think this might be the purest type of love.

*     *     *

Here’s the thing, I’m not a fan of LOVE as a singular concept. It’s a ridiculously broad term that can be applied to pets, sex partners, or Oreos. When a word accretes that many definitions, it becomes virtually nonsensical.

If you’re hunting for more specific words for love, Greek is a good language to start with. They have Eros, Philos, and Agape. Those three do a pretty good job of breaking the great multifarious monolith of LOVE into slightly more manageable pieces.

I’m assuming you know about them, but just for reference:

  • Philos is friend love. Family love.
  • Eros is “I want to bone you” love.
  • Agape is… tricky. Some people call it “unconditional love.” I’ve heard it referred to as “True love” “God Love” or “That love which instils worth.”

There’s also lesser-known storge: “Kindness love.” Which is the sort of love you feel for something that’s dependent on you. Like an infant or a dog.

So. I’m standing there, looking at my sweet baby, and he’s smiling at the ceiling fan. And I realize I don’t mind. I’m just happy that he’s happy. I’m just happy that sometimes he smiles at me. I’m just happy he’s around.

This is a strange and wonderful sensation. This is, I feel, a different type of love.

Now it might seem like I’m talking about agape-style love here. Or storge. But I’m not. This is something different.

What I’m talking about here is love-without-expectation.

*     *     *

We need to stop for a moment and make a word.

If I’m going to spend some time trying to describe a largely unfamiliar concept, I need a name for it. Love-without-expectation-or-desire isn’t going to work. It’s not elegant. A newish concept needs a newish name. It needs its own space to grow. You grok?

Plus I just like making words. It’s kind of a thing that I do.

From what I gather the Hebrew concept of “חסד” is pretty close to what I’m looking for here. And it’s one of the Sephira, which gives it extra gravitas. Unfortunately, it’s not going to work because when you transliterate it, it’s spelled “chesed” and that looks too much like “cheesed” to me.

Fuck it. I know it’s not linguistically sound, but I’m going to call it Eleutheria.

*     *     *

Remember where we were? Me. My baby. Ceiling fan.

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(In his defense, it’s a really nice fan.)

I simply love him, and I expect nothing in return. This is strangely, delightfully freeing. I don’t feel bad that if he pays more attention to his mom. I don’t mind that he smiles at the fan or his big brother.

I don’t mind if he falls asleep. I don’t mind if he throws up on me.

Elutheria – Love which demands nothing. The love that expects nothing.

This is an odd concept for me. Because I am a creature composed almost entirely of expectations.

This isn’t entirely a bad thing. The ability to anticipate, desire, and plan is important. It gives us control of our lives. It gives us the ability to see forward in time a little. It gives us the ability to steer our destiny a little so we can avoid wrecking our lives against the rocks.

Not always, of course, sometimes your ship is going to wreck no matter your best efforts. Shit happens. But if you’re able to anticipate the future, you can at least brace for impact. That’s better than nothing.

Without the ability to predict and therefore exert control on the future, we are helpless. Subject to the constant random battering of a largely entropic universe.

The ability to predict and anticipate isn’t bad. The desire for control isn’t bad. If you put those things together with a love for language and a vague compulsion for storytelling, you get The Name of the Wind.

If you combine these characteristics with a love of charity and a desire to make the world a better place, you get Worldbuilders.

If you combine them with a relationship… it’s not so good.

Because trying to control the people you love isn’t good.

For one thing, people don’t like it. (For the most part.) But also because controlling someone means hanging expectations on them. And if people don’t live up to your expectations, you’re disappointed. And disappointment leads to frustration and anger. This spiral continues down to the dark side of the force.

How much nicer would it be to simply love someone? If you expected nothing from your beloved, you could never be disappointed. Nothing could jeopardize that love. It would be unassailable.

This would be Elutheria, the love that expects nothing.

*     *     *

What I’m talking about here, is the diametrical opposite of selfish love.

Selfish love demands things. It demands attention. Most of all, selfish love demands love in return. Typically it usually demands ALL the love in return. It demands primacy. Exclusivity. Ownership. Control.

What I’m talking about here is what’s commonly called “Romantic Love.”

Romantic love is championed as being awesome in our culture. It’s the sort of love you’ve seen a thousand times in movies and literature. You’ve seen it the lives of your friends and family members. You’ve probably experienced some version of it yourselves.

It’s the sort of love where you where you fall for someone, and they don’t love you back, and then you kill yourself. (Actual results may vary.)

It’s the sort of love where you see you girl talking to another guy and you feel jealous.

It’s the sort of love where you see your guy looking at another girl and you feel angry.

It’s the sort of love that makes you think it’s okay to consider someone “your girl” or “your guy.” As if you owned them. As if they were under your control. As if your affection made them somehow beholden to you.

And as I stand there, smiling at my baby, (who is smiling at our ceiling fan) I am perfectly happy. And I wonder to my self, “At what point did loving someone become an excuse to be a greedy asshole?”

*     *     *

I bounced my idea off a couple people over the last week or so. Love without expectation. I explained about my baby and the ceiling fan. I talked about the chains of desire….

“Well,” someone said. “It sounds nice, but I don’t think that’s something that could exist in an adult relationship.”

Several people said this, or something very close to it. These comments came up almost compulsively, in a knee-jerk way.

I think people have this automatic response for two reasons.

First, I think they feel attacked. As if I’m telling them they’re loving wrong.

I’m not. That’s not what this is about. When I talk about how much I’d like a Tesla, it doesn’t mean I think you’re a dick for driving a Prius. I’m not trying to start a fight here. I’m looking to discuss an idea.

Second, I think people react badly because Elutheria a profoundly unfamiliar concept. We all grew up reading stories about Lancelot and Guenevere (or permutations thereof.)

The Arthurian legend is one of our mythic cornerstones. It echoes through the last 1000 years of our art and literature. Well… 800 years, if we’re talking about Lancelot. You see, he wasn’t in the original story. The French added him in the 1200’s.

dicksee-belle-dame

(Yeah. I know that’s not Lance and Gwen. I just really love Waterhouse.)

And you know what? It’s a better story with Lancelot in it. More drama. More tension. More universal appeal.

The downside? Lancelot and Guenevere are generally held up to be the villains of the whole Arthurian schtick. They ruined Camelot. Their dirty, dirty lust wrecked the golden age.

But the truth is, if Arthur hadn’t been such a douche about the whole thing, there wouldn’t have been any problem. If Arthur had just gotten over himself and admitted that Lance was pretty hunky, it could have been cool. If he’d just wanted Gwen to be happy, he should have just stepped aside. Or at least turned a blind eye.

Either that or jumped into the sack with both of them. Because… y’know… hunky.

Imagine the glorious world we’d be living in if *that* was one of our mythic cornerstones, folks. Imagine a world where slash fiction didn’t exist because we were, all of us, constantly living the dream.

Okay, back on track here.

Generally speaking, everyone agrees that Arthur overreacted. But Lance and Gwen? They’re traitors. It’s their *fault*. Traitors deserve the lowest, darkest circle of hell.

Arthur was a little hot headed, sure. But it was justified, right? Lance and Gwen, their actions were a betrayal.

What were they betraying?

Expectations.

*     *     *

Those of you who have studied any Buddhism are probably nodding along by this point. Believe me, I’m very aware that the more I roll the concept of Elutheria around, the more similar it seems to the four noble truths that lead to the eightfold path.

For those of you who haven’t studied Buddhism, here it is in a nutshell:

  1. There is suffering.
  2. Suffering comes from thwarted desire.
  3. Therefore, if you eliminate desire, you eliminate suffering.
  4. Profit. Moksha.

There is an unassailable simplicity here. There’s a reason I’m fond of Buddhism.

*     *     *

I wish I had a strong closer for you, but I’m not really making an argument here. I’m not heading for a conclusion. I’m merely working out my thoughts in text. Writing things down helps me understand them better. It helps me knock the rough corners off my new ideas. (It’s my attempt at “Right Understanding,” the first step of the eightfold path.)

But is Elutheria something a person can realistically achieve?

With my baby, the answer seems to be yes.

But then things become more complicated. You see, I have responsibilities.

My older son is four. And while it would be pleasant to simply love him and let the chips fall where they may, if I were to do that, I would be failing him as a parent. I need to provide guidance and discipline. I need to control his base monkey instincts with the hope that he may eventually rise above them and become a fully-formed human being.

There’s that word again: Control. It’s my job to control him. It’s my job to have expectations.

Still, I think discarding Elutheria entirely would be like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. There are certain expectations that are essential. I expect him to be polite. I expect him to be honest. I expect him to be mindful and kind.

Those are the requirements for being a good human being. It’s my job to guide and coach him until he gets there.

Any expectations beyond that, I should be wary of. I shouldn’t expect him to be all those things *all* the time. I shouldn’t expect him to be tidy. Or quiet when I’m trying to work.

I shouldn’t expect him to be straight, or a democrat, or a painter. I shouldn’t expect him to love books.

Oot and book

Expectation is a trap, you see. There’s nothing to be gained from it. I don’t feel *more* joy seeing him read because I hoped for it. I only leave myself open to disappointment if he doesn’t.

Similarly, my relationship with Sarah consists of more than simple love. We are engaged in the partnership. We maintain a household and the purpose of that household is to raise children that are physically and emotionally healthy.

Her cooperation in these things is essential. I expect it.

But other things? Should I expect her never ogle the pretty college boys on the track team who jog around town every spring? No. Foolishness. Should I expect her to want to organize the kitchen the way I would? To want the same color paint in the dining room? To have dinner cooked and ready for me when I come home from work?

Should I expect her to always love me best, and most, and only?

No. I think not. I think that would be selfish and self-centered.

The more of these expectations I can let go of, the happier I will be.

But it’s hard. Oh it’s hard. It goes against a lifetime full of training. It goes against my obsessive desire to control. It goes against my meticulous nature. It goes against what so many stories told me was true.

Inconclusively yours,

pat

Also posted in a few words you're probably going to have to look up, love, musings, naming, the longest fucking blog ever | By Pat98 Responses

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