Category Archives: Fanmail Q + A

Published: February 19, 2008

Ask the Author #4: How Do I Pronounce Kvothe’s name?

And now for a little T&A…

No. Wait. That should be Q&A. Sorry…

Dear Pat,

I know you’re busy, but how exactly do you pronounce “Kvothe?”

I know it’s similar to “quothe,” but I’m still not sure how it sounds. Can you help clarify the specific phonetic pronunciation?

The initial “kv” sound in “Kvothe” doesn’t crop up in standard English that often. But it does appear in the Yiddish term “kvetch.”

The “o” is the same as in “roll” or “hole.”

The “e” is silent.

If you’ve been pronouncing it wrong, don’t sweat it. You’re not alone. I’ve heard a lot of different pronunciations over this last year:

Kvahthe. (With the middle sound like you’re saying “Ahhh” at the doctor’s office.)

Kvothay. (With the ending rhyming with “prey.”)

Kvothee, Kvahthay…. No no no. You’re all making it harder than it needs to be. That’s why I put that bit in right at the beginning of his story. “My name is Kvothe, pronounced nearly the same as ‘Quothe.'”

Kv + Quothe = Kvothe. Simple.

Still, even this confusion makes me happy. I remember the Raistlin/Rastlin arguments me and my friends had years ago.

Wow, that’s a warm fuzzy thought. My first year in college, out at someone’s house, drinking homemade sangria in their kitchen and arguing about Dragonlance. I remember thinking, “I never knew there were this many people like me out in the world.”

Those were good times. It almost makes me want to not post this up. That way, people can have that same sort of pointless argument about my book as I used to have about Weiss and Hickmann’s.

Nah. I’ll leave this up. That way when there’s an argument, y’all can step in and seem supercool because you’ve got the inside scoop.

Oh, and one other thing. Tarbean isn’t pronounced tar + bean.

It’s tar + bee + en. The end is similar to how you say “Caribbean.”

And now you know…

pat

Posted in Fanmail Q + A | By Pat64 Responses
Published: January 8, 2008

The Great Zombie Debate

About a decade ago, I started writing a humor column for the local paper. It started as a fake advice column, and over the years it became…. I don’t know what. Somewhere for me to make crude jokes about monkeys and pontificate on whatever subject was currently holding my attention.

I can’t say why I started doing it. Boredom and ego, I guess. Plus I liked writing and making people laugh. What makes even less sense to me is that after almost a decade, I’m still writing it. I don’t get paid for it, and over the years the column has landed me in more trouble than anything else I’ve ever done. That’s the problem with satire, if it’s done properly, it pisses people off.

Here’s how it works. I make fun of clowns, and you laugh. I make fun of frat boys, and you laugh. Then I make fun of Buddhists. But you’re a Buddhist. Suddenly you’re not laughing.

Have I suddenly become unfunny? No. It’s just that now I’m poking fun at your personal sacred cow. But that’s my job as a satirist, I expose that which is ridiculous in the world. I’m a sacred cow tipper.

Anyway, I when I was out at the Fantasy Matters conference a couple months ago, I had do do a reading directly following Neil Gaimain. I knew that I couldn’t hope to match him in sheer mythic storytelling awesomeness, so I decided to go for some cheap laughs instead. To this end, I read a column I wrote a couple years ago called The Great Zombie Debate.

Surprisingly, people liked it. So I thought I’d post it up here for those of you looking for a cheap laugh or two.

Dear Pat,

My social group is fiercely locked in the fast zombie vs. slow zombie debate. While I’ll admit that 28 Days rocked, I still think slow zombies are much scarier than their faster counterparts. Can you shower us with your wisdom? I fear this debate will cause a schism in our group that may never mend.

John S.

Thanks for the letter, John. It’s always nice to hear from a guy who’s not afraid to use the word “schism.”

Though not many folk know it, the fast vs. slow zombie debate goes all the way back to the early days of the church. It was part of a disagreement between James the greater, and Paul, formerly Saul of Tarsus. You see, James believed in salvation according to works, slow zombies, and that watching two women kiss was, in his words, “wicked cool.”

On the other hand, Paul believed in salvation according to faith, fast zombies, and the fact that women were “kinda icky” therefore two kissing would be, “double icky.”

Now normally when there was a disagreement, they turned to Thomas. But Thomas thought it should be faith AND works. And he’d never actually seen two women kiss and didn’t believe that sort of thing really happened. As for zombies, well… the thought of people getting up and moving around after they were dead was just too much for him, and he told the other disciples that he had better things to do than sit around and listen to them tell silly stories.

And so the issue remains unresolved to this day, stirred up by recent fast zombie movies like Dawn of the Dead and 28 Days.

So let’s lay this to rest once and for all, shall we?

Now to a certain extent whether you like fast or slow zombies is simply a matter of personal taste.

It’s like sex. Fast sex is different from slow sex. But they both have their good points. A quickie is fun. It’s a romp. It’s exciting. Slow sex is different. It’s an experience. It’s an adventure. It’s an African safari which necessitates the use of a special type of hat.

But while they both have their selling points, the fact remains that slow sex has a lot more style. More room for finesse. More opportunities to wear exciting hats.

The same thing is true with zombie movies. Everybody who isn’t all a total tightass enjoys a good zombie movie now and then, fast or slow. But ultimately, a slow zombie movie has a lot more style. More finesse. The purpose of a zombie movie is to scare you, and ultimately, slow zombies are more frightening.

Now before all you fast zombie advocates get your knickers in a twist, listen to me. Slow zombies are frightening. Fast zombies are startling. There’s a huge difference, let me explain.

You know the part in the horror movie when the young co-ed is looking through the attic with a flashlight? It’s dark, the music gets real dramatic, then BAM! A cat jumps out from behind a stack of boxes.

Pretty scary, huh?

No. No, that was not scary. It was just startling. It’s cheap. If you don’t believe me, just think of a whole movie full of nothing but cats jumping out at people. Would that be a scary move? No. It would just suck. The same goes for a movie full of nothing but fast zombies jumping out at people, or, come to think of it, relationships full of nothing but fast sex.

That is, unless you’re having a relationship with a slow zombie that wore an exciting hat when you had sex with it. That might work, I think.

And with that bit of wisdom I will leave you for now. I’ll be back soon, and posting more consistently now that the holidays are past. I’ll tell y’all how the Boston Signing went, and I’ll be making those announcements I promised you a couple weeks ago.

Plus, I have some delicious fanart that I’ve been dying to show you….

Later all,

pat

Also posted in College Survival Guide, Neil Gaiman | By Pat20 Responses
Published: October 18, 2007

Ask the Author #3: What Good Is Fantasy, Anyway?

 
Hello folks. I’ve been elsewhere lately. Things have been busy with writing and getting ready for my trip out to New York for the Quill Awards.

But just yesterday I got the following message from someone asking me to help her settle a debate between her and a friend:

Patrick,

[…] Anyway, her stance is that Literature (her cap) is about enlightenment and improving the human condition, while fantasy is just escapist crap. I know she’s wrong, but I’m not a good debater. I’m not good with words. Can you help me out?

Thanks,

Sami

Sami, your question reminded me of a forum I got drawn into a while back. Normally I resist being pulled into online discussions, but this one struck home with me. The person who started the thread was asking, effectively, if fantasy really mattered in any sort of profound way.

This is the from-the-hip response I made on that forum a while back. If you’re looking for some argumentative ammo, there might be a few things in here. At any rate, it does a pretty good job of summing up how I feel about the issue.

“Can a Fantasy book/author really change anything?”

[First post: July 10th 5:15 AM]

Years ago I was watching a documentary on the Beatles. There was a video clip where a journalist was interviewing John Lennon. He was protesting the war, doing ridiculous things to get press attention so that he could spread the word about his message. He spent his honeymoon in bed with his wife and invited the press. When the press showed up hoping for something racy, John and Yoko used the opportunity to spread their message about peace.

One of the journalists got exasperated with him at one point and said, “You dear boy, you don’t think that you’ve saved a single life with this nonsense, have you?”

I remember watching that and thinking that I couldn’t decide which one of them was being foolish. Lennon for thinking he could change things, or the reporter for being so cynical.

Ultimately, I want to believe Lennon. I want to think that a person can make a change in the way people think.

I think that can be done with a protest. Or a song. Or an interview. Or a fantasy novel.

Hah! I actually found the video clip on youtube. If you watch it for about 40 seconds you’ll get to the part where the reporter says her line….

However, I don’t think that political activism is the only type of change a novel can create. I think a novel can change they way you think about the world. It can expose you to new thoughts or make you reconsider old ones.

Hell, a fantasy novel can teach you things. Any time you learn something it changes your life.

Lastly, but not leastly, we shouldn’t overlook pure entertainment. Back when I was in Grad school my life was a hell. It sucked really, really bad and I was stressed out beyond belief. That’s when I read the Harry Potter books. They were great. They helped me relax and not freak out. They didn’t heal my crippled limbs or stop me from being racist or fix global warming, but they improved the quality of my life. In doing so they hey changed my life in a little way. A good way.

[Second post: July 12th 11:18 AM]

I like what you said about escapism being productive. I think Robert Frost made a point along those lines in Birches.

“It’s when I’m weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig’s having lashed across it open.
I’d like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.”

That is one of the things that fantasy does best.

And laughter is not to be underestimated either. I write a satirical humor column for the local school paper. I write it because I like to make people laugh and it gives me a vent for my humor when my other writing needs to be serious.

After the most recent presidential election I was… distraught. Profoundly distraught and depressed. But my deadline was still there. I had to go in and be funny when I was in no mood. So I wrote about the elections. I made fun of the American populace, and the president, and both parties and myself most of all.

And the column pissed people off. They started a media event about it, got people riled up, and in the end, I almost lost my job because of it.

I remember thinking to myself, “Why do I do this? Why do I work 4-6 hours every week to write a column I don’t get paid for? A column that offends people (as all good satire must) and costs me what small shred of respect I have among the other faculty at the university. A column that at best, gives people a cheap laugh?”

Weeks later I was grousing about the whole experience to someone in the University Center. A student walking past overheard and stopped.

“You’re that guy that writes the College Survival Guide?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. Inwardly I was cringing against another attack. The media coverage had not been kind to me, satirical humor quoted out of context looks really, really damning, and as a result I’d been having I got a lot of unpleasant attention. Everything pales in comparison to a death threat, or the promise of a beating, but even tongue-lashings get you down after a while…. “Yeah.” I said. “That’s me.”

“I read it all the time,” he said. “After the election I wanted to kill myself. But when I read your column I laughed. I really needed a laugh right then. A lot of us really needed a laugh right then.”

It was like a great weight got lifted off me when I heard that. I remember thinking. Oh yeah. *this* is why I write. If we don’t laugh sometimes we’ll cry. I want to help out with that.

This conversation made me think of a piece of fan mail I got a couple days ago. I’m going to contact the person who wrote it and see if she’s okay with me re-printing it here. If she agrees I think it will be a nice addition to this thread…

[The final post: July 12th 12:12 PM]

She said I could share her letter so long as I removed her full last name. I wanted to share this because when this e-mail came in just a couple nights ago, I thought about this thread.

Even if I never get another e-mail like this again I’ll feel like I’ve done something worthwhile with my life….

Mr. Rothfuss

I read a lot of books. That’s not to brag, it’s just a fact. I read a lot of books, sometimes once, sometimes twenty times, and I’m glad that there’s a lot of books out there because I’m more a little afraid that I’m going to run out one day. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This is really a thank you letter, so I should start there.

I want to thank you for your book, but I want to do it right. I read a lot of books, and it’s been a long, long time since I’ve felt as passionately about a book as I do about yours. I don’t know how to describe this feeling, really – I hope you know what I mean so I don’t sound like a complete babbling idiot. It’s like what I felt when I finished the Tolkien trilogy for the first time. It’s the same thing I felt when I read my first LeGuin, it’s the first time I read Ender’s Game. It’s being eight and fascinated by orcs and elves, and fifteen and shocked by the names of shadows that move inside of you, even if the shadow’s name is your own name. It’s finding love and pain and hope and a piece of yourself in the words on a page that were written far away by someone you have never met.

For the first time in a long time, I had a book that I couldn’t bear to leave: your book. I bought it on a whim at five minutes to closing in a bookstore that I had never been to before, on a street that I have been on a hundred times. I started it at 11:45 on Monday night with a cup of grapefruit juice and a little seed of hope. I think you may know this hope, I think everyone has had it in one form or another. It’s more than the, “gee I hope this is going to be a good trip” kind of hope.

Let me elaborate. (This is, by the way, kind of a personal letter. I hope you don’t mind. You don’t have to write back, it’s okay, since this is really just a thank you.) I’m 19, just finished my first year of college, and living alone for the first time. I’m scared out of my wits, but not about finding a job or making it through school. I’m afraid that now that I’m an adult, there’s no such thing as magic anymore. I don’t want to be jaded any cynical and worldly. I like the crisp newness that varnishes the world. If I have to start paying bills and finding an apartment and paying rent, will I lose that shock, that joy, that awe that I felt when I saw things for the first time? (I had my first snowfall this winter. My first winter up north. It was everything I had dreamed it would be and it was utterly miserable. Who knew cold could be so, well, cold?) I am arrogant, I know, but I have to say it: have I read every good book? I wish I hadn’t squandered so many good first reads in my childhood, when everything was new, when I didn’t know how precious that first read is. That first bite of a taut red apple.

I started reading your book at 11:45pm and stopped at 8:30am when I realized that I probably still needed to show up for work. The first thing I did when I came home was pick it up again, and when I stopped I sat and stared at the wall and cried. Just because some things are over doesn’t mean everything is. There are still people out there who can make magic, who know magic, there is still magic, I can still see magic. Closing the back cover was defeating; everything ends, and really there’s nothing you can do about it. But it was exciting too. I was excited for another read, excited for the sequels, excited for the future.

I am going to go read it again now, and even though it won’t be the first time, it will still be exciting. Thank you for your book. It is beautiful, and bright, and full of magic. Thank you for letting me write you this letter, even if you never read it. Thank you for the hope.

Monica Q.

Hope that answers your question Sami. Everyone else, hope you weren’t bored by the horribly long post.

Later,

pat

Also posted in Ask the Author, fanmail | By Pat9 Responses
Published: October 3, 2007

What should I do #1 – Cat and Girl

Welcome to the first instalment of something I’m going to call “What-Should-I-do Tuesdays.”

Over the last several months I’ve received many e-mails where at some point the person says something very similar to this:

[…] I can’t wait for the sequel. Write faster! I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself until your next book comes out. […]

I usually thought of this as just a rhetorical comment until I got this e-mail:

Hi, Pat!

I was catching up on your blog and realized that one thing that would make it even better would be a list of your favorite authors, movies, games, etc… Clearly, you are a Joss Weedon fan, adore Orson Scott Card, and so on. It’s likely you could turn us, your humble audience, on to some other great stuff you like. I’d love to read your recommendations.

Kelly,

So I thought, why kill two birds with one stone. I turn you on to some good authors AND keep you from wasting away while you wait for book two.

Since this is the first week, let’s start at the top.

If you like good fantasy, you have to read Neil Gaiman.

If you’re into novels, I suggest starting with Neverwhere or Stardust. If you like comics, I suggest reading his Sandman series. Read it in the proper order too, or the continuity gods will strike you down.

Another of the best and brightest in the fantasy Genre is Terry Pratchett. He has written a metric ton of novels over the years. A few of them are merely great, but most of them are hands-down excellent. It isn’t that vital that you read them all in order, but I still recommend trying to start with some of the earlier books first, as there are continuing characters and plot lines.

And finally, a webcomic that I’m guessing many of you have never heard of. It’s not fantasy, but it is one of my favorites. It’s funny, clever, and has healthy doses of social satire. Other comics out there might be funnier, or have more stylish art. But Cat and Girl is possibly the smartest comic I’ve ever read. And it does it without getting snobby or preachy, and it makes me laugh too. It may not be for all of you, but I’m guessing that some of you will really dig it. Browse the archives and find out.

In other news, I’m going to be down at a new convention in Madison this weekend – Geek Kon.

Details are on the tour schedule page, but here are some of the panels I’ll be doing….

SATURDAY,
4pm – Lord of the Rings
6pm – Defining the Genres

SUNDAY
12 noon – SF/F Roundtable
1pm – The 36-Hour Day in Flatland

On Sunday I’m also have a reading/booksigning at Room of One’s Own just off State Street. It’s at 3:00.

Note: Those of you sending books out to me to get them signed, please remember to pack them carefully. One showed up today that had just been dropped in a box with no padding at all. It was banged up pretty badly and the dustjacket was in shreds. If you want specific advice about packaging, check out the details at the end of the blog I wrote on the subject.

Later all,

pat

Also posted in appearances, conventions, Neil Gaiman, recommendations | By Pat30 Responses
Published: September 28, 2007

A quick answer about the quill award….

Normally if someone asks me a question over e-mail, I just answer it directly. But if I get the same question several times, it lets me know I should post up the answer in a blog for everyone to see.

Over the last week I’ve had five people send me e-mails similar to this one:

Hey Pat,

Yesterday my friend Jake who is also a big fan of your book asked me if I’d gone and voted for your book for the quill award. I explained to him that you’d already won the quill award. We argued for a while, then, since I was right here by the computer, I thought I’d ask you directly.

I’m right, aren’t I? You already won, didn’t you?

Suz

P.S. Congratulations, by the way. You rock.

Luckily Suz, this is one of those situations where everyone is right.

You’re right because I did win the Quill in the Science-Fiction/Fantasy category. I’ll be heading out to New York and you’ll be able to see me wearing a tux on NBC.

BUT, Jake is right too, because right now the voting is going on for the BIG quill award: the Book of the Year award.

You see, the winners for the individual categories (Romance, graphic novel, etc.) are voted on my a bunch of booksellers, librarians, and literati. But the Book of the Year is determined by popular vote. Which means you could go over there and vote for me, if you were so inclined.

And by over there I mean OVER HERE. (After you click, you need to click again on the link in that press release that says, “vote here.”)

I think a lot of the confusion has come from the fact that they aren’t running this award the way that we’re used to seeing it. It’s not like the Oscars where all the nominees show up and then the winner in each category is a big surprise. The only real surprise at the quills will be who wins Book of the Year.

Hope this clears things up for those of you who have been confused….

pat

Also posted in Achievement Unlocked!, awards | By Pat60 Responses
Published: August 31, 2007

The first rule…. (Warning: Possible Spoilers.)

… is that you do not talk about Book Club.

The second rule…

Okay, enough of that.

I just got an e-mail from a fan that went something like this:


Dear Mr. Rothfuss:

My book group have decided to read your book for our September meeting. Besides your wonderful storytelling ability and use of language, are there any themes or questions that would be good to use as our discussion guide? Thank you for one of the best fantasy books I have read this year.

 
(A follow up e-mail revealed that these questions would be asked during the club meeting itself, after the people had finished the book. So there’s no need to worry about asking spoiler-free questions.)

While I’m tickled at the thought of a group of people getting together and talking about my book, I have to admit that I’m totally at a loss as to what sort of questions I could offer them.

The main problem is that I’ve never in my life been in a book group, so I don’t know the sort of questions that usually get asked.

So I’m going to throw this open to you, my brilliant, articulate readership. What questions do you think would lead to an interesting discussion in a book club?

Now before y’all get comment-y. I’m going to lay down some rules for today’s blog because I’d like to eventually link to this thread in my FAQ.

First: Let’s keep this particular set of comments tight and on-topic. Questions only. No answers. We’ll save those discussions for later blogs, or, preferably, when we get a forum up and running.

Second: Please proof your questions before submitting. Capitol letters and punctuation marks are your friends, folks.

Third: Please read the other questions before asking your own. Related or follow-up questions are fine, but let’s try to avoid duplicates.

Alright. Let’s see if we can help our flagship book group out with some good questions. I’m curious to see what y’all come up with….

Thrill me,

pat

Also posted in FAQ | By Pat1 Response
Published: August 13, 2007

FAQ: “If I Mail You My Book, Will You Sign it?”

Editor’s note: Pat is taking a break from this right now until he can find a better way to do it . Keep an eye out for more details…

People have been asking me this question more and more often lately, and strangely enough, the question has been getting more and more difficult to answer.

First, I should explain something. While I’ve been a writer for a long time. I’ve been a *PUBLISHED* writer for a very short time. As of right now, my novel has only been out for a little more than four months.

This means that I’m still a total geek about most things. I still get a glowy, warm feeling whenever someone likes the book enough to post up another five star review on Amazon. I keep looking back at the Amazon page to see my sales rank is. And when someone tells me they like the book, I feel like a mom must feel when someone compliments her baby.

I still read all my fanmail, and I respond to all of it, too. (Though right now I’m really behind, and I apologize to everyone who hasn’t received a response yet. Sorry.)

The other thing I did for a couple of months, was agree to sign any books that people wanted to send me. It was just cool for me that anyone would buy my book, let alone care enough to want my signature. So whenever asked me this question, I gave them my address. Then when the books showed up, I signed them and sent them back.

After a few months, a couple things started to change my feelings on the matter.

First, the number of people asking for me to sign their books has been slowly increasing. This is a problem because it probably takes me around half an hour to unwrap, sign, repackage and drop the book off at the post office. While I love the thought of making a fan happy, that’s time I could be spending working on book two, or doing the dishes, or kissing girls. There’s only so many hours in the day, and I’ve been very, VERY busy lately.

Second, I became aware that some of the people who wanted me to sign their books weren’t fans, but book collectors. Or rather, signed book re-sellers. Imagine my surprise when I found copies of my book out there selling for hundreds of dollars.

At first I was stunned. Then I was flattered. Then I started to realize that I might be getting hustled a little. I don’t mind taking twenty minutes out of my day to get someone a signed copy of my book if they’re geeking out over it. I’m less thrilled about spending that time so that someone else can make 100 bucks off the deal.

Now I’m not implying that all those people out there selling my books screwed me. Many of them approached me honestly and asked for signed copies specifically to sell. Some of them were even generous enough to cut me in on a piece of the action.

But a few people did hustle me. That and my busy schedule made me think I should give a firm, polite “NO” to this question once and for all. I even made a humorous flow chart to soften the blow of this news to hopeful folks out there:

(If you click on the picture, you’ll be able to read it.)

As you can see, the best possible result is that I end up eating tacos. And honestly, I can do that whether or not you send me a book to sign.

This was all about a month ago. I was ready to pack it all in when I got the following e-mail.

 

Pat,

I managed to pick up an Advanced Copy of NOTW at a small used

bookstore. I felt a bit guilty about buying a book that clearly states “Not for Sale” on every surface of the binding… but I’ve purchased four legit copies so far (attempt at justification), and have distributed them to those I deem worthy (coupled with altruism)… And I know that you’re a bang up guy (flattery), and would likely not hold this against me.

So the favor is this: If I pack the book up in a self addressed, postage paid box and send it to you, would you be willing to sign it and drop it in the post?

I would make sure it was carefully packed in bags of high-quality Ethiopian coffee (I assume whole bean is acceptable), and safely wrapped with other “recyclable” material. Interested? ; )

Thanks, Pat — I know you’re a busy guy, so don’t feel obligated to reply if you don’t have the time. I completely understand-

This letter was not only flattering and funny, but the guy was smart enough to realize that I didn’t make any money off of him buying an ARC of the book. What’s more, he recognized that I was a busy guy, and that signing the book would take time out of my schedule. So he agreed to send me a present to make it up to me.

So I e-mailed him back with my address and gave him the thumbs up, then forgot about it. A week or so later, I get this in the mail:

In the middle is the ARC copy of the book. The rest of the stuff is the “packing material.” Chocolatey sugar-bomb cereal, coffee, candy, and a Powell’s Bookstore T-shirt. It was like Santa wanted my autograph.

Then, again, just a few days ago I got a bottle of wine in the mail as a thank you present from someone who asked me to sign a few books a month ago.

This made me re-re-consider my position on the book signing. Not just because I was getting swag. But because it made it clear to me that for some people, getting a signed book was a really big deal. I know that feeling. I’ve had it myself in the past.

So here’s what I’ve decided. If you want me to sign your book, I will. But here’s the price:

You need to send me something cool.

It doesn’t need to be expensive, or big, or edible, or rare. (The guy who sent me the ARC clearly went overboard.) It just needs to be something that I’ll pull out of the package and think, “Hey, that’s pretty cool.”

Then I’ll play with it, wear it, show it off, or put it on a shelf. And when I’m signing your book, packing it back up, and walking to the post office, I’ll feel happy. Because the coolness of your gift will convince me that getting a signed book is kind-of important to you. Then, even if you decide to sell the book on e-bay, I won’t really mind because you took the time to send me a present as a way to say thank you.

  • The step-by-step instructions.

1. Find something cool.

2. Write me a brief note that includes:

  • Your return address.
  • Your email address in case I have to contact you.
  • An explanation of exactly what you’d like written in the book(s). If you don’t include instructions, I’ll just do a simple signature and send it back.

3. Send a check for seven bucks per book to cover postage and the cost of good packing materials to keep the book safe when I send it back to you.

3a. DO NOT send anything other than a check or money order. (or cash, if you really need to.) Don’t try to be helpful and send a pre-paid Fed-ex sticker or a postal coupon. Those things are a huge pain in the ass for us to deal with. They’re anti-helpful. They waste my time and delay your book getting back to you in a timely fashion.

3b. If you want the book sent back to you faster. Make the check out for 15 bucks and we’ll ship it using priority mail.

3c. If you need the book shipped overseas, read the instructions in Warnings and Addendums below.

4. Package everything carefully. (Details in Warnings and Addendums below.)

5. Mail the package to me at:

Patrick Rothfuss
PO Box 186
Stevens Point, WI 54481

For UPS or FED-EX, you’ll have to use this address:

Patrick Rothfuss
English Department
486 CCC
UW-Stevens Point
Stevens Point, WI 54481
 
 
  • What if I don’t want to go through all that? Can I just buy a signed book directly from you?

Sure. I do sell signed hardcover copies of The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear. All proceeds go to Worldbuilders, the charity I started a couple years ago.

This option is simpler. You can just go visit our online store. Or follow steps 2, 3 and 5 up above.

Warnings and Addendums

  • Packaging.

You really need to package your stuff up carefully.

Padding is important, but the true key is to making sure your book can’t move around inside the package itself.

I also strongly recommend you take the book jacket off the book and keep it at your house, as it’s the most easily damaged part of the book.

If you have any doubts about your packing job, think to yourself: “If I threw this package across the room, into the wall, would the book get hurt?” If the answer is, “yes” then you need to pack it more carefully. These things get really knocked around sometimes. And if your book shows up damaged, I’ll have no real choice but to shed a single tear, sign it, and send it back in its crippled state….

  • Timing.

I try to get books signed and mailed back to people as soon as possible. But sometimes I’m busy. Or I’m on vacation. Or whatever.

This means if you desperately need a book for some special event, you need to send it to me a couple weeks in advance. Ideally, you should send it to me a month in advance, just to be safe.

  • Overseas shipping.

If the book needs to be shipped overseas, it will cost me 40 dollars to get it back to you.  55 dollars if you send both Name of the Wind and Wise Man’s Fear.

Here’s the trick, you need to make the check or money order out in US Dollars or my bank won’t cash it.

  • What not to ship.

While I appreciate all gifts people send me. Some things simply don’t travel very well.

Homemade cookies, for example, don’t survive a long journey and two days in a PO box very well. Liquids are also dangerous. If they’re not packaged carefully, things can break and ruin your book.

My advice is simple. Think twice and package carefully.

There we go. All updated and shiny new as of July 2010. Hope this is helpful.

pat

Also posted in fan coolness, FAQ, geeking out, Worldbuilders 2010 | By Pat113 Responses

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