It was a good weekend. On Saturday Sarah, Oot, and I drove down to Madison to celebrate Father’s Day. We hung out with my Dad, my aunt, my sister, and her boyfriend.
It may not seem like many people to you, but I don’t have much family. For my side of the family, this is a pretty big gathering.
My dad grilled and my sister and her boyfriend cooked. I removed the lids on the various types of side dishes that I’d lovingly bought from the store. We ate brats and pasta salad and hung out on the deck. We tried to fly a kite and utterly failed.
Oot was in fine form, and charmed everyone with his ability to cram food clumsily into his craw, speak broken English, and walk around without hardly falling over at all. Seriously. He’s like a little rockstar.
It was a great day. My father summed it up best when he said, “Good weather, good food, nudity, and kite flying. What more could you want in a party?”
Today (Sunday) was more low-key. I slept late, and when I got up I learned that Sarah had been coaching Oot to say, “Happy Father’s Day!” He did this with great enthusiasm. Over and over. All day.
But you know what? It never got old.
In fact, when we got back from dinner tonight, I grabbed a little video of it.
You know what? I think this is the first video that I’ve ever uploaded. Look at me striding boldly into the year 2007.
After this touching moment, Oot began to say, “Humdyfal!” over and over. It only took me about 30 seconds to figure him out. You have to do a lot of interpreting with kids this young. They’re not really good with words, yet.
He was saying, “Humpty Fall.” He wanted to hear about Humpty Dumpty.
So I picked up one of his nearby toys. If I call it a plush toy you’ll get the wrong impression. It’s a turtle packed tight with some kind of beans. It’s the size of a round loaf of bread. It’s about as plush as a sandbag and it weighs more than hardcover of my second book.
I put it on my knee and said, “Humpty Dumpty sat on the….”
“Wall!” Oot finished.
“Humpty Dumpty had a great….” I pushed the turtle off my knee and it hit the ground hard. It sounded like someone dropping a heavy workboot onto the floor.
“Fall!” Oot shouted excitedly.
Then he picked up the turtle with both hands and affectionately smashed it into my nuts.
I made the sort of noise you make when you’re trying not to roar and scare the hell out of your kid. Sarah laughed. Then looked guilty about laughing. Then laughed again.
“Fall!” Oot said.
I removed the turtle and put a protective hand over my groin. It took a moment, but eventually I figured out what he was trying to say. You have to do a lot of interpretation with someone this young. There’s a lot of reading in between the lines.
After about a minute or so, I realized Oot was making it clear that he respected the vasty strength of my generative organs. He was trying to indicate that he understood where he’d come from, that he knew exactly whose godlike loins had helped bring him into this world. He was trying to say….
“Happy Father’s Day!” he said, throwing his hands into the air.
Yes. Exactly that.
Happy Father’s Day.
pat
54 Comments
That is beyond sweet. It’s almost too sweet. :)
All that extra sweetness must be where the nausea is coming from….
Oot’s gestures are perfect – the kid knows how to do a dramatic reading.
Sorry about the turtle-whacked nuts.
Haha, you ever shown your dad the same affection on fathers day?
That’s cute! Just one question: “… striding boldly into the year 2007”
2007?
He is massively adorable
Aw, that’s sweet – and welcome to 2007!
Perhaps he was also subconsciously ridding himself of future rivals.
I realize that “Vasty strength of my…” was probably supposed to be “vast strength of my…” but I like “Vasty”. It sounds like a wonderful new word, possibly combining “Vast” and “Nasty”. Or maybe it’s simply how pirates say vast. Maybe both.
However you choose to go with it, I fully expect the word “Vasty” to play an integral part of the plot in book three.
I have spoken!
Watch “Serenity” again ^_^
Yeah, I’ve only seen it the once…**lowers head sadly**
“Vasty” was a genuine bona fide word hundreds of years before Joss Whedon ever thought to use it.
Sounds a lot like our fathers day… wait, nudity?
You have a very effiecient child; trying to break two eggs with one turtle.
Was probably trying to give you the humpty dumpty sequel
An there goes a 50% bump in the number of subscribers on your Youtube-channel.
Best hit in the nuts story I’ve heard in a long time :D
What can I say exept Every Sperm is Sacred! (Monty Python refrence FTW)
Love that movie- and of course more mini Pat Rothfuss = more super dooper writers…..how could it go wrong……will the jolt to the nether regions affect reproduction ability?…..I’d say 5 or 6 more mini Pats will suffice the fnas
This is where I would inadvertently teach my toddler a four letter word that rhymes with “duck” and is “not nice.” >_>
I still say that in the hospital when they hand the mother the “complimentary” bag of formula and assorted items, they should give the father a bag with a protective cup in it. For just this kind of thing. It happens alot. I mean…..ALOT. Especially when they get the age to run at you full tilt intending a hug, and slam into poor Daddy’s junk, which just happens to be at forehead height. ;)
Umm… where does the nudity come in???
I was assuming (hoping?) that was Oot’s gift of the day. ;-)
That is by far the cutest post ever I felt compelled to commen (which I never do because you usually already have a billion comments). I remember when my SIL coached my niece to wish us Happy Birthday except when I answered the phone there was no explination so all I heard was “Happy Barfday!” :) I think this was payback for teaching her the word “dude” and the sentence “whatcha talking about willis?” :)
Once I became a parent the world changed, and once again I believed in magic.
Enjoy the magic while it lasts!
Oh my god, I laughed so hard. I need more laughter like this in my life. (Not to the detriment of your delicate bits, though.)
Oot is precious beyond words. If you ever need a babysitter…
Cute! Man, he’s gotten so big.
Sounds like you guys had a great Father’s Day. Better than it was around here. My husband had to work which sucked for him. In protest of this, I’m assuming, our son destroyed a floor lamp in the two minutes I took to go to the bathroom. While I was cleaning that up, he dumped the cat box. Can you sell toddlers on eBay?
Oy, you poor thing. I know that kind of afternoon all too well.
I *love* how he threw his hands up in the air on “day.” However, I’m sorry to hear of your war wound. My husband had something along those lines happen yesterday, although it didn’t involve a stuffed turtle.
Every time you post another Oot story, my heart gets a little meltier. Soon, it will be unfit for pumping blood. If I die of cuteness, I will make sure the NYPD knows who to blame!
Wow, he’s strong. You might think of putting him into Highland Games when he gets a little older. Or cruelly denying him such privileges because of the sins of his past.
Oot is adorable. And I am feeling sympathetic toward you even as I weep with laughter.
Congratulations on *not* teaching him any Really Bad Words during the turtle incident :)
Oh my god, Pat, he’s so big!!!! You must be so happy to have had such a nice Father’s Day. Sarah is beautiful, how’d you score a hottie like that? Just kidding, its obviously your boyish good looks and charm…. right?
Seriously, I feel that way when your friends have kids and then you turn around once and they’re three. Last time I checked, Oot was a baby, now he’s a toddler at least!
I managed to get Sarah because of the radiant power of my godlike man-tackle. Now that it’s damaged, she’ll probably leave me….
So adorable!!
Hey, is it just me, or you can feel Oot is plotting something when he raises his arms?
Now I sure as hell do….
He’s getting ready to yell “blue, blue, blue”
So adorable really~! ♥
You ARE massively adorable Oot, as is your Daddy. And I’m still roaming around in pre-2007 times, as I don’t even own a bit of electronics capable of making a video… Idon’t think… and have certainly never uploaded one!
Oh my god. Oot is ridiculously adorable Pat. I hope you had an awesome fathers day! On another note, yesterday at a family gathering my cousin(who I previously lent my(12th!!!) copy of NOTW and (3rd!) WMF assaulted me because the third book is not complete yet. Her words were something like: ” I hate you because the third book is so far away, but I love you for showing me these!”. Followed by a big hug that sort of hurt my chest a bit. I hope that every time that sentence is spoken you get a glow of pride that transmits directly to your brain.
Trying to imagine that sound you made after the turtle was heaved upon you made me giggle.
I’ll babysit if you ever need a little bit of a breather from so much cute ;)
Adorable. Recommended your books to an old friend who gave a copy of Name of the Wind to her 78 year old father. She said he loved it. They are a literary family. She was reading Herman Hesse when we were 12 years old. (I know, scary. I was reading Star Trek novels. ) I loved that he loved your book. It felt as great as sharing your books with my 14 year old son, who also devoured them. Thanks and glad you have a such a cool kid. Wait until you can share books with him. It is awesome.
I heard the happiest laugh coming from ‘behind’ the camera. Isn’t Fatherhood great? happy for you.
Wow, you guys look so happy. Such a heartwarming thing to see :)
Uh, minus the nutshot. That probably wasn’t so happy ….
Oot looks like he’s trying to cast lightning when he throws his hands into the air like that.
…and it only gets better from here, brother. I can remember my three year old’s look on her face when she saw Santa brought her something for Christmas, and I will remember it forever. Absolutely priceless.
You now are obligated to teach him to say ‘I shall conquer the world’ and lift his arms like that. I don’t believe any human or fae will be able to stand against him.
^ This.
My friend’s daughter (three years old at the time, IIRC) once responded to a request with “yes, master.” My friend swears this wasn’t coached.
Gaah cuteness overload!
Personally Pat, I think the attack on your nuts was Oot trying to eliminate the possibility of any competition in the future.
all the story and stuff is fine, but the real treasure i found in this blog post was your youtube channel
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