My thanks to everyone who sent well-wishes and good thoughts my way on Friday. It was a stressful day. We had to take little Oot in for surgery.
I don’t care to talk about the details, but it wasn’t anything life-threatening. It was just one of those things that we needed to do if we were going to be responsible parents.
Still, it involved putting my baby under heavy anesthesia and having someone cut him. It’s really hard to express how unacceptable I found this. You know how sometimes you can shrug something off and be cool about it? Yeah. I was the other thing. Whatever the farthest edge of the spectrum is from cool, that’s where I was, emotionally.
I tell you. I never knew what it was like to be afraid until I was a parent.
Anyway, rest assured that he’s happy and healthy. He’s taking it easy, reading books and playing with duplo.
When I asked him how he felt today, he said, “Iyhava owie belly.”
“You have an owie on your belly?” I asked.
“Owie *inna* belly,” he corrected me. He does this with only a little reproach in his voice, as if he knows that I can’t help being stupid.
This is something that’s been happening a lot over the last couple weeks. He’s been shocking me with how fine-tuned his conversation is becoming.
For example, on Friday when we were in the hospital, after he’d come out from under his anesthetic I asked him if he wanted some juice.
“Okay,” he said blearily.
I know how thirsty you can be when you come out of surgery, so I hurried to his bag and rummaged around quickly. I couldn’t lay hands on a juicebox, but I found his sippy cup full of water and flipped up the top so the straw came out.
I handed it to him, and he took hold of it kinda unsteadily. Then he got the straw into his mouth. Suck. Suck.
He swallowed and looked up at me. “Dat’s wadder inair,” he said.
At first I thought he was just making an observation. He’s a good talker these days, but still, a lot of our conversation is limited to making observations about the world, or asking and answering simple questions.
Then I realized that wasn’t what he was saying at all. I played it through my head again and caught the emphasis. “That’s wadder inair!” His tone was thick with disappointment. “Wannet JUICE,” he said, sounding hurt and more than a little betrayed.
And you know what? That’s fair. I’d promised juice and delivered water. That’s a shitty thing to do to a guy who’s just been through surgery. I hurried to get a juice box and appologized.
Still, I’m kinda stunned that he’s already at the level where he can communicate reproach. If he’s doing this at 21 months, I can’t even imagine where he’ll be in another year.
That’s all for now folks. Keep a close eye on the blog for the next couple days. I’m going to be posting up a bunch of things before I leave for ComicCon.
pat
61 Comments
Glad everything is okay with Oot.
our children amaze us all the time i have not been on so Iam sorry to have missed all the updates I am glad he is doing well there grasp of language is amazing but as a author that should not surprise you you have a future author on your hands or an orator what ever he chooses to be cherish every moment because to soon they grow up and do not need us as much love him and be there for him that is truly all he needs you will be a great father
Hey Pat,
I’m glad to hear things went okay. I had a somewhat similar situation a few years ago when my oldest was four, and he bounced back a lot more quickly than my mind did.
Take care!
Brady
Yeah. When they took him away I was an absolute wreck. I didn’t handle it very well at all.
It’s a terrifying experience. I am convinced that anybody who looks like they’re handling it well is just faking it in public, and having huge meltdowns in private.
I took my 2.5 year old daughter into sedation for her open heart surgery. You are absolutely right. I was screaming inside and trying to hold it together for my wife…who…BTW…saw right thru me.
Poor little guy!
I was born with unilateral cleft lip and palate. As things go, it could have been a heck of a lot worse than it was… but, for a cleft, it was pretty much the textbook example. Everything that can go wrong did. I’ve had something like 30 cosmetic and reconstructive surgeries because of it.
I can’t quite sympathize; for me, it’s just something I do. I go in, go to sleep (though I hate that part; anesthetic feels disgusting), and wake up in some varying amounts of pain. My parents, though, can. My mom stresses every time. Family visits, etc.
tl;dr is I’m glad it went well. Good luck if you have more such things in the future.
Great to hear that little Oot is doing well. I can’t imagine that terrifying feeling, but at least you are already put to ease a bit.
The Rothfuss troupe seems to be a hearty bunch! Glad everything went well!
I actually meant “hardy” but “hearty” works too, I think.
They’re very thick, like a good stew.
Glad he is doing good! Not an easy thing to go through, that is for sure!
Best of wishes for you and your family!
Being an amazing parent comes along with a lot of worry and heartache but it is worth it for all the laughs and smiles. There is pure joy in watching your child grow and learn. I am glad all went well with your little Oot. My daughter was thought to have a brain tumor when she was almost 2 and it was the worst few months of my life. Virtual hugs and kisses to that handsome little boy. :)
Oh, the poor little guy! Big hugs for Oot and his parents! <3 Surgery is no fun, indeed.
It's wonderful, but not really surprising, how quickly his conversational skills are developing. Despite the situation, it must be really cool to be able to communicate with him already. When I was a nanny, I had a three-year-old boy who was barely verbal, which was difficult as he was also just starting potty training. I have a feeling your kid will probably be reading by three (and writing his first novel by, say, seven). So, good on you, and good on little Oot.
Here’s to a swift recovery for Oot and some less stressful days for his parents! <3
I just had Lapiroscopic kidney surgery to remove a malignant growth hanging like an upside down mushroom from the bottom of my kidney. So, I know about owwies in my belly! Hope his prognosis is as good as mine was!
Jim
You don’t want to imagine where he’ll be in another 13 years. Give or take. You may not still be apologizing for not quite delivering on every request. Although all post-surgical requests rank very, very high.
What a bucket-load of fun he must be. I’m glad he had an uneventful surgery, and that he has you to look after him while he gets back up to speed. He will amaze you with his super healing powers.
P.S. Cool is overrated.
First off, I’m glad to hear that Oot is doing well.
I won’t pry or ask for details about why he had surgery, but based on where the bandages are, I have my guesses. If my guess is correct, I had surgery for a similar reason when I was about Oot’s age, maybe a little younger. My parents have told me how traumatizing that was for them.
And as far as Oot’s rapidly growing ability with communication… I guess that’s just what happens when you’re born to a father who makes his career by writing A LOT of words.
So sorry you had to go through this but so glad all went well! When my son had surgery at age 10 (the one who is now almost 15 and who has read your books), the most horrible thing was seeing him passed out right before the surgery and seeing the word “right” written near his ear to mark where the surgeon had to cut. (Apparently, there were cases where surgeons had operated on the wrong side!) I know what you mean about not understanding fear until you have kids. Phew! Glad it’s over and that your son is back to normal!
so thats what its like to have resposibility….. :(
So happy & relieved 0ot made it through okay! He seems like an awesome little guy. :)
There is no such thing as cool in a moment like that if you are anywhere near being a decent Dad. I understand completely. And at 6′ 8″ tall and 300 lbs., me being uncool at my child’s side can be an ugly thing indeed. I am glad to hear Oot is doing well. I did not hear about any mass destruction of person or property in the news, so you must have handled yourself admirably!
Glad to hear the good news. I’d be confused if anyone were rational in that situation.
I am happy all is well. *more hugs*
Myself, I’ve been through the brain surgery gig with my tot. The horror.
I’m a mom, and have had my kid go through surgery. The truest quote I’ve ever read is:
To have a child is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
Wishing Oot quick and complete healing.
Glad everything was ok.
Just an aside, that helpless feeling doesn’t go away… ever. I have 5 kids, and my 16 year old daughter had to have major knee surgery. It was one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to do, and I wasn’t actually doing anything!
Sometimes I have to remind myself that it doesn’t stop, it just changes. I’m their Dad, and I’ll always be their Dad. When my eldest is 25 and has financial problems, I’ll still be his Dad. When my daughter has her heart broken from her first real love, I’ll still be her Dad. And all of these things are just different to what I had to deal with when they were 2 or 5 or 8.
Of course, I wouldn’t change it for anything. These people are my greatest work!
My son had to be sedated for and EKG due to a potential seizure condition when he was a year and a half old. He had to fast for most of a day for the meds to work. About 15 hours with no food. I was a mess for a few reasons and had been told that it was best to have just the child and one parent present. The medicine puts the child in a “twilight state” and it was easy to rouse a child from this with any distractions. But, the nurse working knew my mom-in-law and invited her for testing. And proceeded to chat with her and bring her a cup of coffee. A cup. In front of my 18 month old child that hadn’t eaten in 15 hours. And when he didn’t drop peacefully in to a “twilight state” she dosed him twice. His little eyes were rolling and he was struggling to sit up and grab the cup. And the nurse suggested grandma taking the baby, grandmas are great at soothing upset children.
I flew in to a blind rage after this incident and still get all wound up. I’m sincerely happy for you that little Oot is happy and relaxing! =)
Yep. That’s how it started with my kiddo. EEG, CAT, MRI, FMRI were just the beginning. 3 years later, I feel confident in stating that I know more medical acronyms than 90% of the general public. You’d think that the years would dull the shock and primal ache of watching your child suffer. It does not. *sigh*. Welcome to parenthood.
The first time any of my mother’s children needed a GA was when I was 21. She came in with me, tried to look cool calm and collected and failed utterly. The first thing I remember hearing when I came round was her humming to me much like she did when I was small. And then her muttered “Open your eyes for fucks sake, so I can tell if you’re really awake.” That woman loves like no one I know, she’s through and through wonderful.
Sounds like you’re a contender for that cup Pat, keep up the good Daddying. I hope the little guy’s feeling less owie very soon.
If it makes you feel any better I suspect that he won’t remember it at all. I was about that age when I had to have a benign tumor removed from right over my eye. But I don’t remember it. I can see the scar, which is still there, but I don’t remember the hospital. It’s good to know that he’s okay!
All the best to Oot – hope he has a quick recovery! I hear you… just like every other posting parent, we have paced in the waiting room for many hours (six, actually) and as someone with an overactve imagination, I had every doomsday scenario in my head. It never gets easier no matter how big they get or how many words they have. Luckily, they bounce back faster than we expect… but the first few minutes post op when they are groggy from drugs and maybe even ill , that cuts deep.
My seven year old knows he is going back for more of the same this fall; all he remembers is the wonderful surgeon and getting freezies after (which ranks up there in miracles for him; I’m a mean mom who does not allow them in the house).
I’m glad your little guy is OK. Love his talk, by the way… and it only gets better from here! You’ll see. Have a good week!!
” I never knew what it was like to be afraid until I was a parent.”
Amen. I’m a new mom with a baby who has had a couple of health issues. Thankfully both are minor-ish but they’ve resulted in me being two notches away from a full blown anxiety disorder. I’m glad your little Oot is well, talkative, and cute.
Thanks for your great blog as well as the “I Am A Geek” recommendation. I’m now on a mission to find copies of TNG.
I know exactly how you feel. When my son was only 16 days old he went into surgery for the first time. For four hours my husband and I sat in a hospital waiting room going through the same emotions you described. And again when he was seven months for the same problem. Both times we were across the continent from all of our family so we just dealt with it as best we could. That’s all you really can do. I’m glad that both of our baby boys are doing better.
Anyone who says “A child under sedation looks just like a child who is sleeping normally” has never, FUCKING EVER had a child under sedation. Period. And they deserve a big fat punch in the face for even trying to liken the two scenarios.
Hope Oot feels better, and that by next week you are able to sleep the night through without waking up in a cold sweat panic to check on him…. (I’ve been there……… I know……..)
The day my daughter swallowed a quarter was when I started to have panic attacks and they haven’t stopped yet. Ah, the myriad joys of parenting!
I’m glad it seems like he’s recovering well and taking everything in stride, even though you’re probably having walking nightmares on an hourly basis (I would be too.)
Also, I love any story you tell with Oot dialogue. It makes me squeal from unbearable cuteness and I know he must be at least a thousand times more cute in person. Here’s to many, many more such stories in the years to come!
You have an early talker there. My son is around 29 months and he’s got the same tone when you give him water instead of juice. He’s a stickler when he knows he has the right way to say something and you change it on him.
Fun times.
Good luck with Oot’s recovery.
So glad to hear that Oot is doing well. I can only imagine how hard it must be to watch your kid go into surgery.
We’ll continue to send good thoughts your way for a speedy recovery for all.
It’s so cool to hear about Oot’s communication skills. Our little one just turned one and is starting to sign for things like milk and more. It’s amazing, but also very challenging to figure out her thought process. The other night she signed “more” while sitting in the bath. I was a little stumped as to what she wanted more of: bubbles, toys, time in the tub? I felt like a jerk for not being able to figure it out, but was so excited that she was communicating her desires.
Hey Pat,
I just recently discovered that you had a blog, and I will be following regularly from now on. I must just say that your books are brilliant, and I haven’t read something this good since David Eddings’ (R.I.P.) Belgariad/Mallorean series.
Keep it up, I read the Name of The Wind in two days, and I’m almost done The Wise Man’s Fear.
Good luck with both your family and writing.
I’m glad everything is alright.
I spend a lot of time with a two year old, it really is amazing how well they get their points across. I also experience contempt fairly regularly since I don’t understand two year old quite as well as his dad…
I’m happy that you guys are doing ok!
We barely avoided “tubes in the ears” for our 20 month old recently. I was a wreck just *thinking* about it, and this sounds a bit more serious than that. I just fall apart whenever the little ones are sick. :(
It sounds like Oot is very brave. :) Thanks for telling us what was up–we were worried about you guys here!
Hey Pat –
I work in medicine, but when my daughter went under, I couldn’t even be in the same room I was such a wreck. And the whole week before – unbearable. I am very glad that Oot and family are o.k.
Take care!
My daughter is about to turn three, and I think her vocabulary is beginning to catch up with my own. Littluns are a lot smarter than we give them credit for!
Glad Oot is doing well!
Ever since having a child, my old anxiety dreams (first day of the play and I forgot my lines, etc.) have been 80% supplanted by something AWFUL happening to my daughter, usually causing her to die in some gruesome way, and I am watching but helpless. I am amazed by the depths of evil my subconscious brain can reach while coming up with these scenarios … The worries of parenthood are crazy powerful.
P.S. — so glad all is well!
I’m so glad to hear that everything went well. I’ve had that experience too many times, and it never gets easier being the person who has to let them go alone into that operating room. Sending good thoughts your way :)
So glad everything went well– having your kid go through surgery is scary, scary stuff. I recall a meeting in the doctor’s office when my son was a baby–he was reassuring us that a surgery we’d discussed earlier would not be necessary. I told him I was glad of that, because if anyone, even a doctor, tried to cut my baby, I was going to kill him. (Uncomfortable silence for a few moments after that.) Later, when my son had surgery as a teen, I put up a really brave front until the doctor came out of the operating room (an hour late) and told us that everything had gone well. That’s when I burst into tears.
Glad the little one is doing good. There’s nothing like the feeling of terror and helplessness one feels when something is wrong with your kid. Even small normal things, like when they wake up at 2 am and puke all over.
My husband and I have been very lucky in the fact that our son has made it through almost 2 years without any major health issues. My husband says that he used up all his bad health credits the first week of his life which was spent in the NICU. Worst time of my life ever and the sounds of the the monitors still make me have little panic attacks. We’d be at the hospital and I’d project this image of being calm, so that my husband would be calm and I could focus on what needed to be done to get the baby home. When we came home, I’d lock myself in my bedroom and cry for about an hour.
Why didn’t anyone tell us about this part of parenting? The scary parts.
I just realized that our sons are the same age. We had a friend whose son (also the same age) just went in for surgery this week as well. He woke up the night after surgery and was crying and saying, “It howts, it howts.” It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
I didn’t understand why my parents would switch the news off during stories about kids being abused or hurt. I thought it was for my sake. I now realize it was for theirs.
I have always been an empathetic person, but when it comes to children, especially children close to my own kids’ age, it kicks my empathy into overdrive.
Glad to hear everything went well, and I hope your little one bounces back quickly.
Glad to hear it’s ok, and sorry you had to go through it in the first place. It sounds like it was a one off, so I shall be glad both that everything is ok, and that you never have to do that again.
Just adding another note of encouragement and good tidings:
glad things went well with the surgery! It seems like Oot is not too much worse for the wear. Hopefully he stays that way.
Glad to hear that the little man is doing well!
Had my three-year-old son in for surgery due to complicated pneumonia. Even in trusted hands, it was pretty hard.
It was nice, however, to go from “hours from death” to “groggy but breathing fine”.
So right about being a father – for about the first year of constantly waking up and checking the bassinet, and then the crib, to make sure my son was breathing, I thought I was never going to have a safe night’s sleep again. (I won’t even talk about our frightening circumcision experience with a lousy moyel, which I recalled after reading your post recently).
Glad Oot’s doing well.
Glad he’s doing OK. I wish all the best for you and your family. This sort of thing can be super difficult, and since you came out of it alive and unincarcerated, I think you handled it fine.
At least now you’ve got a picture to horrify him with in front of girls when he’s 13.
Get well soon Master Oot! While not all we do as parents is easy, it is all for their best interests long term.
Children are great, and most definitely life changing. I enjoy every minute of being a father. Children are very smart, and will pick up on everything we are willing to teach them.
My favorite story showing how smart children can be is the story of my Son’s first words.
Daily I would bath him, wrap him in a towel and carry him to his room to get dressed. Part of the ritual was to toss him to the changing table playfully, swinging him for and aft with “one”, “two”, “three” on each swing. This of course was followed by the mock sail through the air and landing on the changing table.
He always laughed as he landed, and a few tickles after the landing never hurt either.
Over a very short period of time he learned the game. So well in fact that he would occasionally arch his back and giggle as we got close to the changing table letting me know he was anxious for flight. One day his anticipation was very special.
As we got to the table he not only arched back for flight, but proudly said “On Two Tee”, followed by a big grin.
Those were his first words, and of course a memory that will remain with me forever.
I’m glad little Oot came through the surgery all right.
Your “water/juice” story reminded me of a time when my oldest was about the same age. He had a language delay, so he didn’t talk much yet. He was getting toward the point of being weaned, and my body wasn’t catching up, so I had some “extra” milk one day (not the kind from the cow, if you’re following me) and I put it in a sippy cup and gave it to him in his high chair.
Wow, you wouldn’t believe the look he gave me. “That’s YOUR milk!” and “How’d you do THAT?” are words he might have used. “That’s not the kind of drink that’s usually in one of these cups . . .” It still makes me laugh.
Hi Pat,
(I’m trolling your older blogs now it seems)
I have a parenting story like this that I’ll share with you sometime. I have another when using heart of stone was instead oddly to my disadvantage. See, now I’m using your terms. I couldn’t leave the truck to go in to work this morning till I’d finished Chapter 2 of WMF this morning. Yesterday I finished NOTW (which reminds me: one of your artistic minions should bastardize one of those Not of This World vehicle stickers into secretly being a Name of the Wind reference.) and immediately called Pooka to gush about it/you to her cause not only would that make a lot of sense, but I suddenly realized I don’t have an easy way to contact you directly. Maybe I’ll heckle you here for a while.
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