WMF Photo Contest Part VII: Sexy

Well folks, time for me to expiate another tiny crumb of my crushing karmic debt by posting up part seven of the long delayed photo contest.

Previously: [Prologue] [Part I] [Part II] [Part III] [Part IV] [Part V] [Part VI]

This is the blog that many of you have been waiting for: the sexy blog.


(Like so.)

“But Pat,” I hear you say, “What does that picture have to do with sex?”

Trust that all will be explained, my faithful readers. Context is important. Trust that each of these pictures has something sexy going on in it, even if it’s not immediately obvious…


Keep in mind that back when we held this photo contest, book two was only recently released. For some people, the amount of sex in the second book was a bit of a surprise, which is understandable, I suppose, given that in NOTW, Kvothe kinda thought about kissing a girl this one time. Whereas in WMF he performs vast and varied feats of sexomancy.

So I expected some jokes/pictures making reference to that.

Rothfa Sutra

TURTLE 1: Let’s try Thousand Hands.

TURTLE 2: I don’t have hands!!!

That said, I wasn’t really surprised at the number of sexy pictures that were sent in. Even with the first photo contest, we had a fair amount of sexiness happen.

After all, one thing we all have in common here is that we love books:


No, I mean some of my readers really *love* books.


What I *didn’t* realize is that sometimes books love other books.


(This picture it titled “Kvothe with Felurian.”)

Now before any of you get offended, let me remind you that both of those books are consenting adults. Whatever they do in their own time is really their own business.

Now where were we?

Ummm... Yeah. I just wont even explain this

Wow. Yeah. Okay. You go, UK edition of WMF. You do you. Literally.

Though y’know, if you’re going to swing that way, you should probably invite some of Jaqueline Carey’s books over, I think they might be into that sort of….

Wait. What? Someone already made that joke?

The things I do in the name of Research...

Is it just me or does my book look *really* smug in that picture?

I know it’s not right to be jealous of your own book, but it just seems like it’s constantly getting more action than I am.

Speaking of which, let’s award the….

Honorable mention:


For giving a new meaning to “Curling up in bed with a good book.”


There’s a bit of a story here. Follow along.


Dressed up fancy.


Romantic, candlelit dinner.

A bit of mood music. (The purse is a nice touch.)


It’s worth embiggening this so you can see what music they have playing.


Now see? This is why context is everything. If you look at this picture by itself, all you see is blatant disregard for a book cover.

But seeing it in this chain of images… Well… It makes me feel like I might want to slap an NSFW on this blog….


Goddammit. Again my book ends up in a threeway. With Twins.


Wow. Yeah. That’s…. that’s kinda hot in the weirdest, most context-specific way possible.

For somehow making books piled on a couch erotic. You win some talent pipes. My hat’s off to you.

Here’s the photostream just of the books doing it.

We also had a fair number of folks taking sexy pictures *with* the book….

In fact, the number of people willing to get all nekkid with my book is something that fills some eternally adolescent piece of me with geeky delight.


This seems like a strange thing to mention, but I really like the rounded corners in this picture. Can anyone explain why *that* is the thing I notice when someone gets nearly naked and takes a picture of themselves with my book?


Huzzah for sideboob!


I like the subtlety of this one.


I love the thought of the strange looks this person got while taking pictures of my book in a Victoria’s Secret in a mall somewhere…


Apparently, two fans from Germany decided that taking pictures for the photo contest sounded much more interesting than studying for their exams.

I approve.

Honorable Mentions:


According to the e-mail that was sent: this fan went to the extra effort of photo-shopping her otherwise clean, crisp pictures so they looked like they were from the set of a cheap 70’s porn movie. I admire that attention to detail.


I assume they’re talking about how much they like big books.

Our Winner:

for my girlfriend

I have to say, this is probably one of my favorite pictures from the entire photo contest. When it showed up, I was full of geeky joy.

I wasn’t the only one, either. Amanda has gone on the record as saying that this guy makes her all sorts of tingly.

You see, the last contest had some sexy, but it was sadly lacking in beefcake. Not only is this guy beautiful, but this a really well-composed picture. Nice lighting, too.

But then, almost immediately, I was ensaddened. You see, the rules of the contest stated that the picture needed to include a copy of The Wise Man’s Fear. And as you can see, the picture he sent uses The Name of the Wind.

So I e-mailed him back, told him he was awesome, and explained the problem. I wanted him to win the sexiness category, but the rules said that the book needed to be Wise Man’s Fear…


So he re-took the picture and sent it off to us. Thereby cementing his position as Winner of the Sexy.

As usual, the winners and honorable mentions will be sent their Gold Talent Pipe pins.

Here’s the photostream of all of the people who were in the category.

More soon, folks.


This entry was posted in a few words you're probably going to have to look up, fan coolness, NSFW (Depending on Where You Work), Photo Contest 2011, sexy. By Pat15 Responses


  1. Warhound Ulrik Ezickial
    Posted April 25, 2015 at 9:03 AM | Permalink

    Sideboob is awesome

  2. Constance
    Posted April 25, 2015 at 9:19 AM | Permalink

    Thank you for being an equal opportunity fan of sexy.

  3. Blarghedy
    Posted April 25, 2015 at 9:27 AM | Permalink

    Had to embiggen the SEXpress picture to notice the American Gods shirt.

  4. firebird
    Posted April 25, 2015 at 10:15 AM | Permalink

    Ha! Berry white radio haha. Whenever DOS comes out I really hope we can do another photo contest. I was only enlightened about your work two years after WMF was released so I wasn’t a apart of the contest.

  5. Posted April 25, 2015 at 10:38 AM | Permalink

    The rounded out corners are called a vignette.

    It’s an old style from back when photography worked more with base pinhole camera tech. See also Downton Abbey.

    • SilverTpt
      Posted April 29, 2015 at 11:15 PM | Permalink

      Technically vignetting is actually darkening the corners of a rectangular image, usually due to cameras running at large apertures where the light circle cast on the film/sensor starts to fall off near the edges. Usually gets fixed stopped down, but often used deliberately for emphasis.

      Rounding them off like this is an artistic effect, but I’m unaware of any specific name for the technique.

  6. PostaKiwi
    Posted April 25, 2015 at 2:22 PM | Permalink

    One of my pictures is up there! It didnt won but IS UP THERE ToT
    Thanks Pat! :)

  7. Posted April 26, 2015 at 6:09 AM | Permalink

    Some brilliant photos!

    But oh. Oh okay. I guess my saucy romantic bubble bath pic back in the NOTW photo contest days wasn’t as beefcake as I thought.

    That’s cool, Pat. Guess that’s cool…

    • Posted April 29, 2015 at 12:35 PM | Permalink

      Don’t get me wrong, he’s twelve kinds of pretty.

      But what you and I have? That’s different, Joe. That’s special….

  8. kooyla
    Posted April 26, 2015 at 11:38 AM | Permalink

    “But then, almost immediately, I was ensaddened. You see, the rules of the contest stated that the picture needed to include a copy of The Wise Man’s Fear. And as you can see, the picture he sent uses The Name of the Wind.”

    I actually didn’t notice the book, Pat.

    • Posted April 27, 2015 at 3:19 AM | Permalink

      I did say *almost* immediately….

  9. Posted April 29, 2015 at 5:01 PM | Permalink

    Heyyyy, a D&D 4th Edition PHB…

  10. Posted May 5, 2015 at 10:08 AM | Permalink

    What a great contest . . . with some interesting photos!!

    I was surprised too about the amount of sex in A Wise Man’s Fear, considering the first book. Can’t say I was disappointed, the scenes with Felurian were hot! Can’t wait for the next book!

  11. hayden.20
    Posted May 7, 2015 at 5:23 PM | Permalink

    Are we EVER going to know what THE hELL the yellow dot hinting a important place, right in the center of the tinkers packs on the World Map of Tamerant?! I’m going insane.

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