Category Archives: NSFW (Depending on Where You Work)

WMF Photo Contest Part VIII: Costumes (Warning – Artistic Boobs)

Before we jump into the newest installment of the photo contest, I’d just like to take a moment and reflect on the subtitle of the above blog.

You see, a while back, I wrote a blog where I showed off pictures people had sent me of the tattoos people have gotten based on my books.

There’s a fair amount of skin in that blog, as you might expect, because, y’know… tattoos. I didn’t think much of it, because it wasn’t like you could see anything that would even rate a PG in a modern movie.

But afterwards someone sent me a message along the lines of “You need to warn us when you post up a blog with pictures of half-naked people in it. I was reading your blog at work and it almost got me fired.”

My first thought was, “Half naked… Hmm…. Would that include pretty much anyone in shorts and a t-shirt? That’s pretty much half of your body right there….

The second thought was, “If you’re reading my blog while you’re at work, it’s really not my fault if you get in trouble.”

Then my third thought was, “Unless your job is to read blogs, but you’re employed by, like, a catholic nun who is going to beat the hell out of you with a ruler if she sees a woman’s midriff on your computer screen.”

My fourth thought was, “I don’t think there are many jobs like that.”

Quibbling aside, I’m aware that there’s a certain narrow slice of the population that is absolutely terrified that they might see a naked breast. They fear the boob as if they were some deadly mythological beast that will destroy them should they accidentally gaze upon it.

Hence my warning.

Personally, I’m pro-breast. Back between the ages of 13 and 25, I used to think that boobs were the best. Now that I’m 40, I *know* they’re the best.

I know this because I have two little kids. And let me tell you, the white-hot intensity of my teenage self’s pre-internet boob desire is a pale candle compared to how much my little boys adore boobs.

Anyway, yeah. There are a few boobs later on in this post. If seeing them is going to wreck your day, don’t scroll down through the rest of the blog…

*     *     *

Today we’re going to be looking at costumes.

A lot of people dressed up for the contest: and many of those pictures have already been featured in other blogs, or we’ll be showing them off in the future…

Adem born

Like the adorable Adem from the Babies and Knives Blog.

Not all of the costumes from my books. Some of them were just good costumes.

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Like this dedicated fan trying read wearing 45 pounds of plate armor.

Some of the costumes were *on* my books….

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If I’d been smart, I would have put this blog up on May the 4th…

We had a fair number of hooded figures show up.

Flowing Cloak Paul Coffey

Which is a little surprising, considering how dangerous we all know that can be….

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We even saw some rare behind-the scenes footage of the Chandrian chatting.

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There were more than a few Felurians, too.

Though I can hear you say, “Oh come now. Dressing up as Felurian is kinda the opposite of a costume, isn’t it?”

You have a point. But my readers are clever and subtle.

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And, surprisingly, they are not the source of the boobs in today’s blog. Alas.

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Interesting Fact: The book was her 21st birthday present from her boyfriend. Don’t ask me what age that would make her now. Doing the math just piles guilt onto me…

Here we have some Mistborn crossover….

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Some of the pictures (Not shown here, in the photostream) were taken on a rooftop. That said, these fans live in row houses in Philadelphia and it is quite safe to be on the roof. They even promised that they stayed away from the edge.

An Adventure Begins

(Dr. Livingston, I presume?)

But by far, the most popular costume choice was Kvothe.

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Quite frequently, he was accompanied by Denna.

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Careful observes will note that this Adem baby Kvothe is wearing a sword. So before you get your knickers in a twist:

1. We were assured that no babies were harmed in the making of these picture.

2. We’re aware that while Kvothe studied with the Adem, he never actually wore the mercenary reds.

camp

What really makes this one for me is the fact that there’s a tiny lute in a tiny case next to the Kvothe-book….

All in all, Costumes might be my favorite category. People went crazy with it, and I love their enthusiasm.

So let’s name some winners here:

  • Best Meta.

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This one is all kinds of delightful Meta: It’s the story of a fictional character reading my book and then having a fantasy about role-playing with her crush.

It might not be possible to be more meta than that.

  • Amanda’s Choice:

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For those of you who don’t already know, Amanda is one of my assistants, and without her these photo blogs (among many other things) would never get done. She’s been helpingme sift and organize the pictures and get them up into the blogs so I can finally share them with you.

She picked this one, saying “This is the first cosplay of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle I’ve seen, and it’s FANTASTIC.”

I agree.

  • Most Striking.

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One of my favorite Felurian images to date.

  • Most Dedicated Kvothe.

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(Click to Embiggen)

This committed fan made the cloak and shirt himself, And there are a *bunch* more pictures in the photostream.

  • Most Artistic.

Wise Man's Fear Contest Entry

I’m going to be honest. This is one of my favorite pictures that anyone has sent in. And no, not just because it has boobs in it.

I love this picture because it’s an homage to Gabrielle d’Estrées et une de ses sœurs (Gabrielle d’Estrées with her Sister). The artist is unknown, but Gabrielle was Henry the IV’s mistress, adviser, and baby-momma. To say nothing of the fact that she acted as a diplomat on his behalf and sat on his council.

Gabrielle d'Estrees and one of her sisters in the bath

There’s a lot of speculation about this particular painting. Some people claim that her sister pinching her nipple signifies that she’s pregnant with Henry’s child. (Which is understandable, as Gabrielle is holding his ring in her other hand.)

But there’s a lot of folks who view this picture as historically significant lesbian erotica. Which also seems reasonable to me, because… well… for kinda obvious reasons that I’m pretty sure I don’t have to point out.

I love this picture because it’s always struck me as incredibly funny. Delightful and whimsical. Keep in mind that this was a long time before cameras. Their expressions are so serious, just like a formal portrait. But… tweak

I think I’m not alone in this feeling, which is one of the reasons this painting is constantly referenced and parodied. (I’ll let you google around and find those pictures yourselves.)

So yeah. This is awesome. Thanks for making my life a little brighter.

Here’s the winners with their pipes:

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Costumes was one of our biggest categories, so if you want to see the rest of the pictures (that aren’t in other categories) check out the photo stream over here.

If you’d like to see the other parts, they’re here:

[Prologue] [Part I] [Part II] [Part III] [Part IV] [Part V] [Part VI] [Part VII]

Later all,

pat

Also posted in fan coolness, Photo Contest 2011 | By Pat16 Responses

WMF Photo Contest Part VII: Sexy

Well folks, time for me to expiate another tiny crumb of my crushing karmic debt by posting up part seven of the long delayed photo contest.

Previously: [Prologue] [Part I] [Part II] [Part III] [Part IV] [Part V] [Part VI]

This is the blog that many of you have been waiting for: the sexy blog.

S

(Like so.)

“But Pat,” I hear you say, “What does that picture have to do with sex?”

Trust that all will be explained, my faithful readers. Context is important. Trust that each of these pictures has something sexy going on in it, even if it’s not immediately obvious…

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Keep in mind that back when we held this photo contest, book two was only recently released. For some people, the amount of sex in the second book was a bit of a surprise, which is understandable, I suppose, given that in NOTW, Kvothe kinda thought about kissing a girl this one time. Whereas in WMF he performs vast and varied feats of sexomancy.

So I expected some jokes/pictures making reference to that.

Rothfa Sutra

TURTLE 1: Let’s try Thousand Hands.

TURTLE 2: I don’t have hands!!!

That said, I wasn’t really surprised at the number of sexy pictures that were sent in. Even with the first photo contest, we had a fair amount of sexiness happen.

After all, one thing we all have in common here is that we love books:

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No, I mean some of my readers really *love* books.

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What I *didn’t* realize is that sometimes books love other books.

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(This picture it titled “Kvothe with Felurian.”)

Now before any of you get offended, let me remind you that both of those books are consenting adults. Whatever they do in their own time is really their own business.

Now where were we?

Ummm... Yeah. I just wont even explain this

Wow. Yeah. Okay. You go, UK edition of WMF. You do you. Literally.

Though y’know, if you’re going to swing that way, you should probably invite some of Jaqueline Carey’s books over, I think they might be into that sort of….

Wait. What? Someone already made that joke?

The things I do in the name of Research...

Is it just me or does my book look *really* smug in that picture?

I know it’s not right to be jealous of your own book, but it just seems like it’s constantly getting more action than I am.

Speaking of which, let’s award the….

Honorable mention:

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For giving a new meaning to “Curling up in bed with a good book.”

Winner:

There’s a bit of a story here. Follow along.

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Dressed up fancy.

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Romantic, candlelit dinner.

A bit of mood music. (The purse is a nice touch.)

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It’s worth embiggening this so you can see what music they have playing.

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Now see? This is why context is everything. If you look at this picture by itself, all you see is blatant disregard for a book cover.

But seeing it in this chain of images… Well… It makes me feel like I might want to slap an NSFW on this blog….

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Goddammit. Again my book ends up in a threeway. With Twins.

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Wow. Yeah. That’s…. that’s kinda hot in the weirdest, most context-specific way possible.

For somehow making books piled on a couch erotic. You win some talent pipes. My hat’s off to you.

Here’s the photostream just of the books doing it.

We also had a fair number of folks taking sexy pictures *with* the book….

In fact, the number of people willing to get all nekkid with my book is something that fills some eternally adolescent piece of me with geeky delight.

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This seems like a strange thing to mention, but I really like the rounded corners in this picture. Can anyone explain why *that* is the thing I notice when someone gets nearly naked and takes a picture of themselves with my book?

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Huzzah for sideboob!

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I like the subtlety of this one.

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I love the thought of the strange looks this person got while taking pictures of my book in a Victoria’s Secret in a mall somewhere…

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Apparently, two fans from Germany decided that taking pictures for the photo contest sounded much more interesting than studying for their exams.

I approve.

Honorable Mentions:

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According to the e-mail that was sent: this fan went to the extra effort of photo-shopping her otherwise clean, crisp pictures so they looked like they were from the set of a cheap 70’s porn movie. I admire that attention to detail.

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I assume they’re talking about how much they like big books.

Our Winner:

for my girlfriend

I have to say, this is probably one of my favorite pictures from the entire photo contest. When it showed up, I was full of geeky joy.

I wasn’t the only one, either. Amanda has gone on the record as saying that this guy makes her all sorts of tingly.

You see, the last contest had some sexy, but it was sadly lacking in beefcake. Not only is this guy beautiful, but this a really well-composed picture. Nice lighting, too.

But then, almost immediately, I was ensaddened. You see, the rules of the contest stated that the picture needed to include a copy of The Wise Man’s Fear. And as you can see, the picture he sent uses The Name of the Wind.

So I e-mailed him back, told him he was awesome, and explained the problem. I wanted him to win the sexiness category, but the rules said that the book needed to be Wise Man’s Fear…

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So he re-took the picture and sent it off to us. Thereby cementing his position as Winner of the Sexy.

As usual, the winners and honorable mentions will be sent their Gold Talent Pipe pins.

Here’s the photostream of all of the people who were in the category.

More soon, folks.

pat

Also posted in a few words you're probably going to have to look up, fan coolness, Photo Contest 2011, sexy | By Pat15 Responses

SMBC Theater

For a couple years now, the guy behind one of my favorite webcomics, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, has been doing humorous shorts on youtube with a crew of like-minded deviants and malcontents.

I’ve been meaning to mention them for a while, but I’ve just never managed to get around to it.

But one of their recent videos made me realize that the time had come:

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you: Existential Crisis and Dragons:

and another of my favorites:

Honestly, I could link about twenty of their videos saying, “oooh oooh, this one too!” But I’ll let you explore on your own. I’m guessing y’all know how to browse youtube at this point in your lives.

Fair warning, a lot of these videos aren’t safe for work. Depending on where you work, of course.

If you worked for me, for example, you wouldn’t get in trouble for watching a video where somebody said a naughty cuss. No. You’d get in trouble for dicking around on the internet when you should be changing into your Emma Frost outfit and fanning me with a large palm leaf while I write.

Anyway, the folks at SMBC theater have about 150 of these little gems on subjects from caveman to Russian roulette to Batman. If you like irreverent humor, odds are you’ll probably dig their stuff….

Share and Enjoy,

pat

Also posted in recommendations, videos | By Pat23 Responses
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