On Being A Winner

Remember the David Gemmell award I talked about waaaaaay back in May?

You don’t? It’s the UK based contest. The one where I did a promotional interview after drinking too much coffee and talked about how I wanted to be Spider-Man?

Yeah. That contest. The one where the award they give out is an actual axe.

I won:

I have to say that I really approve of this trend. In the future, all awards I get should be weapons. Or a bejeweled crown. Or some manner of scepter that I can use to lord my awesomeness all over the peasantry.

The best part is that it’s actually a pretty good axe. I’ve already used it to destroy parts of our porch, and the old garage at the work house where this photo was taken.

(Click to Embiggen, If You Dare…)

And it’s not even sharpened yet. I’m thinking once I get a good edge on this, it will become my backup writing axe.

Have a great weekend everybody,


This entry was posted in accolades, awards, being awesome, Dionysian force. By Pat70 Responses


  1. ModreztheWeird
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 5:51 AM | Permalink

    Pat …. I’m jealous.

    • Posted October 12, 2012 at 5:59 AM | Permalink

      Aww…. If you feel bad, I could always come out to your house and vandalize your garage too….

      • RedSerpant
        Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:10 AM | Permalink

        If it’ll mean that I can see you here in Australia I’ll happily let you destroy some things.

      • Brady
        Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:11 AM | Permalink

        You might get more takers for that offer than you expect. Personally, I don’t have a garage yet, but there is a trailer park nearby that I would submit as a substitute.

      • Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:32 AM | Permalink

        Honestly, i would even offer to build a shed extra for this occasion for you to take down if you came here. I would als add a free all-burritos-you-can-eat as well ;-).

        And so the bidding war begins……

        • Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:12 AM | Permalink

          I raise you,

          All you can eat Mexican food. But not that poor imitation stuff you guys have everywhere else. I’m talking about fajitas, enchiladas, tostadas, ceviche, menudo, posole, caldo, flautas, and tamales. Wash it down with water flavored with jicama, jamica, tamarindo, melon, or fresa. A cold Tacate clamado preperado.
          There’s no better place to add 10 pounds to your waist line than Laredo Texas!!!

          • Posted October 12, 2012 at 8:02 AM | Permalink

            We need to ask Pat if this is a raise in his eyes ;-). For me it would be, but he seemed to be focussed on burritos according to some posts ;-).

          • Halvard
            Posted October 12, 2012 at 9:09 AM | Permalink

            Come to Norway and I can make you some Viking food! A recipie passed down in the family for bloodpancakes, it will fit really well with the axe:) After that you can pose with it on top of the mountain behind the house…

      • bremon
        Posted October 12, 2012 at 9:49 AM | Permalink

        I would say “Oh, please, vandalize my garage.”
        But I live in the dorms.
        You could have a fundraising option: If you donate a certain amount of money, your name gets put into a hat, and if you win, Pat Rothfuss will destroy something you choose with an axe. Donate a little more and you get to keep the video.

        …I’m a poor college student, but I would donate so much money…

        • Posted October 12, 2012 at 5:25 PM | Permalink

          Masek you’re right……

          AND BURRITOS!!!!

          how’s that?

  2. iris
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:11 AM | Permalink

    that’s kind of cool… what am i saying? it’s awesome! an axe… but a lute would have been cool too…

    • Posted October 12, 2012 at 9:48 AM | Permalink

      That’s for when they start giving out a big award called the Patrick Rothfuss award.

  3. Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:11 AM | Permalink

    Ahh… the Amazing Axeman!!!

  4. catfish
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:13 AM | Permalink


    Patrick RothDruss?

    • Regimoto
      Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:50 AM | Permalink


  5. kevgach
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:18 AM | Permalink

    Who did this thing!? He was already packing has a beard that could fell his enemies and someone goes on and hands him an axe. The end is nigh. Mayan prophecy not looking like such a big joke now is it?

  6. Jack Lancaster
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:26 AM | Permalink

    This axe was made by http://www.raven-armoury.co.uk/ – they do some REALLY nice work, including a full-size Snaga, The Swords of Night and Day and a couple of different Stormbringers.

    I’ve been a fan of their too-expensive-for-a-poor-sod-like-me work for many years.

    It kinda makes me sad though to see a (miniature) weapon, which takes months to make used to chop wood. A private buyer has to order these things years in advance.

    • Daniel Goldberg
      Posted October 12, 2012 at 2:26 PM | Permalink

      Would you rather he posted some pics of him testing the axe on college freshman?

      No point in having an axe if you can’t chop stuff.

  7. MaxTastic
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:31 AM | Permalink

    Wow, and just a few days back I was searching the blog to see if you had acknowledged your victory.

    Enjoy your brand new cuddly Snaga.

  8. Gareth Marklew
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:32 AM | Permalink

    OK, I’ll take the bait, that’s sitting there on the hook, all tempting and alluring.

    Your “backup writing axe”? This rather suggests that there’s already a primary writing axe…

    • Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:35 AM | Permalink


      • Regimoto
        Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:53 AM | Permalink

        Does it have a name?

        • Payne5890
          Posted October 12, 2012 at 1:02 PM | Permalink

          Of course it does, but Pat couldn’t possibly tell you it. You would have power over it if he did that.

          • SilverTpt
            Posted October 12, 2012 at 2:22 PM | Permalink

            Unless his primary writing axe is copper…

            I wouldn’t put this past Pat.

  9. aj-smith
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:38 AM | Permalink

    That is a grand award. Snaga, the axe of Druss the Legend, a.k.a Deathwalker. David Gemmells greatest hero. Show it some respect Mr. Rothfuss.

    • TangentialMind
      Posted October 12, 2012 at 6:54 AM | Permalink

      Come on guys its an *axe*. Axes are for chopping, yes? I guess I’m just saying I think it very respectful to use something for its intended purpose. Though admittedly, it might be more useful chopping bodies if it weren’t miniature. So really, this is a humble compromise. Heh heh.

      • maine character
        Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:10 AM | Permalink

        Gemmell would get a kick out of someone actually thunking it into an old shed. It’s not like he’s throwing it or, worse, tossing it into a box out of sight, like it didn’t mean anything to him.

        • IvoryDoom
          Posted October 15, 2012 at 11:39 AM | Permalink

          Show it some respect by LARPING next time you hack shit.


    • Oatmeal
      Posted October 17, 2012 at 3:23 PM | Permalink

      There’s this interesting group of warriors called the Adem, you might have heard of them.
      They seem to maintain that keeping a blade on them, and ignoring the fact that it has purposes beyond killing, is one of the highest forms of disrespect.
      Since they were, in fact, created by “Mr. Rothfuss” I’m going to guess he probably agrees.

      • William Wall
        Posted October 17, 2012 at 7:11 PM | Permalink

        You respect a thing by putting it to good use.

  10. obe
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:13 AM | Permalink

    My axe is a Fender

  11. PeacefulMaelstrom
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:30 AM | Permalink

    Reading this at school in the morning.
    I immediately told four people. They were all amused.

  12. Nimfiss
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 7:37 AM | Permalink

    Pat, can I pay you to come wreck my garage?

  13. marksackjones
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 8:08 AM | Permalink

    Pat, can you tell us about the author?

  14. Mitchell Hundred
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 8:30 AM | Permalink

    Is it me, or does the blade of that axe look like the special magicky one from Season 7 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Pat, you should go out and kill some vampires with it, just to be sure.

  15. jayh
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 8:45 AM | Permalink

    Well, if you want to take some of the load off of my almost 80 y/o father in law you and your axe could swing by MD and finish chopping up our woodpile. Might be problematic bringing the axe as carry-on luggage.

  16. Raistlin244
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 8:49 AM | Permalink

    Oooph. I am super jealous.

    Been pining for a copy of Snaga from raven-armoury for years and you get what looks like a personalized one engraved with how awesome you are for free (well, for the cost of writing some damn fine books).

    Very nice. Very well deserved.

  17. Posted October 12, 2012 at 8:52 AM | Permalink

    I embiggened the photo and all I can say is… damn. Congrats Pat. Now it just needs a nice piece of black wood to mount it with.

  18. Ojodelgato
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 9:35 AM | Permalink


    I am appropriately jealous. That is one cool axe, and I can only imaging what your first string writing axe is like if that’s your backup.

    My axe is from my grand-dad, a master pattern maker and farmer. The double bladed head shows a lot of serious wear from repeated sharpenings, and sadly I’ve had to replace the handle with good hickory wood. My dad just shakes his head every time he sees it and talks about the number of tree stumps grandpa cleared out with that axe. It’s hanging up on the wall of my woodshop as inspiration – a constant reminder of how hard that man worked.

    Congratulations, I hope that someday your grand-kids will see your award and be reminded of your work.


  19. gryphia
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 9:47 AM | Permalink

    And it’s not even sharpened yet.

    Does this mean you have an axe to grind?

    • Little My
      Posted October 12, 2012 at 5:10 PM | Permalink

      HA! Excellent.

  20. defjavidson
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 10:10 AM | Permalink

    Rothduril The Flame of the Midwest?

  21. Gwhiz
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 11:04 AM | Permalink


    Does this mean you will be coming to the UK for the Award Ceremony? *super excited squeal*

  22. Bardstyles
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 11:43 AM | Permalink

    I admit, I was wondering how long it was going to take for them to announce your victory.

  23. IvoryDoom
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 12:22 PM | Permalink

    ah yes, I’ve been awaiting this blog with great patience. I agree, all awards for fantasy authors at least…especially epic fantasy authors should be weapons or crowns be default…

    Personally, I’ve been reading ASOIAF lately and it inspired me to purchase a the Gladius Machete from Cold Steel, for $50.00 it was so freakin worth it, I got two days ago and have hacked so much shit it isnt even sharp anymore….makes your forearms hurt like a mofo though….but dude, having a sword has been super amusing and I think I’m ready to take the plunge and buy the expensive one I’ve been eyeing from Dark Sword Armory…oi…anyway, sorry, had to share since weapons were the blog topic…

    On another note – you should totally make a youtube review for us, I’ll bet their arent many reviews of your axe up there and we could see you destroy some cool stuff…maybe after you sharpen it? Pretty Please?!

    Now that you have a sweet copper dagger and man killing battle axe, all you need is a ranged weapon!

  24. Deborah Wolf
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 12:47 PM | Permalink

    Am I a bad person for wondering what would have happened if you’d won a guillotine?

  25. Tait
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 5:20 PM | Permalink

    New rule:

    Send Pat an unsharpened edged weapon, expect it to get embedded in a wall.

    Hmm. I wonder if a sharpened edged weapon would fare differently.


    • IvoryDoom
      Posted October 15, 2012 at 11:28 AM | Permalink

      I’m pretty sure someone sent him a sharpened copper knife that came to the same ends…

      I actually think there is a picture of him stabbing a wall with it…inside this time though…

      You’ll have to look through the blog…

  26. Etraud
    Posted October 12, 2012 at 10:04 PM | Permalink

    Hello Pat,


    I have to say it’s an interesting and very cool award. I also think that all awards should be in the form of medieval weapons… well almost, at the moment I also accept cash and valid checks.

    I decided to write a comment, because I couldn’t cast away the thought of Nordic men, with axes, roaring through the streets of Lisbon and smashing/slashing some very magnificent and quite expensive cars from our (Portuguese) politicians.

    Sorry… I know it’s not cool to boast like this in your blog, but today, I’m in a really shitty mood… and I just need to share this with a stranger.

    Why cars? It’s the latest big political issue in Portugal. You see, one of our big political party(from the left wing) just decided to change their entire fleet of cars(it’s a lot of them), when the government is asking us (more of a telling kind of thing), to agree, yet again, with some major austerity measures.

    So, if you ever get in the mood to cut something again, come to Lisbon Portugal (under disguise, of course… ) and bring that axe. A lot of people here, would love to see some cars getting mysteriously redesigned. Don’t worry, it’s the “crème de la crème” of cars… Mercedes, BMW’s, Audi’s (not the cheap ones)… you may even find them all lined up. You may want to bring Felurian Shaed (yes, I stopped to search for it in your book) and a fast get away plan, to avoid an International incident.

    I hope you’re not too pissed with me, for writing this here, because I honestly quite like your work, and I wouldn’t want one of my favorite authors to be angry with me.


  27. AlanAdams23
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 9:44 AM | Permalink

    I envision Pat carrying the axe around him just to set up scenarios like this:

    Friend #1: Hey can you guys come and help me move some furniture this weekend?
    Friend #2: Sure, we can use my truck
    Patrick: And MY axe!!!
    Friend #1: Damnit Pat, stop saying that quote.

  28. Viktor Stark
    Posted October 13, 2012 at 12:02 PM | Permalink

    Oh yes. Now this is something. You need an encouragement to become a succesfull writer? they will give you Snaga the Sender, the Blades of no Return. Me wants! Now if they gave also Waylander’s double crossbow, that would be absolutely awesome. BTW, its screaming from wherever you left it to be sharpened. Even I can hear it.

    Off-topic. Pat, did you ever though about coming to Spain? We exist, you know. When you want. No hurries. Bring Snaga with you.

  29. Posted October 14, 2012 at 4:53 PM | Permalink

    I had the opportunity to hear David Gemmell interviewed at a conference not long before his death. I think he would be chuffed to know how much, and in how many ways, you are appreciating the award named in his honor.


  30. SingleMort
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 7:14 PM | Permalink

    Congratulations on the award. There need to be more awards that give weapons as trophies. I mean what’s the point of winning a trophies that can’t be used for future decapitation purposes?

    That is a nice axe by the way. There’s nothing more devastating than a big chopper ;-)

  31. Wags27
    Posted October 14, 2012 at 9:43 PM | Permalink

    Man… is there a chance, a single chance, that some random guy with *just* dreams of being a pro writer ever wins something as badass as this?

    • Viktor Stark
      Posted October 15, 2012 at 6:24 AM | Permalink

      Yep. You have to kill an entire Nadir army, some slave traders, a dozen of bandits, and two or three demons from WTFHell.

  32. Mark M
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 10:21 AM | Permalink

    Rather than offering Pat money, I’d believe he would be swayed more by far if the bidding became donations to WorldBuilders.

  33. Jordan the Bruce
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 3:29 PM | Permalink

    I have some logs that need splitting…

  34. Levi
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 5:26 PM | Permalink

    Beauty! I’ve got a thing for heavy and pretty knives as well. I’d gladly accept them as payment if I didn’t need to eat.

  35. Posted October 15, 2012 at 10:00 PM | Permalink

    I was rooting for you to win if or no other reason than I thought you would enjoy the axe more than anyone else. I think I was right…

  36. Dianadomino
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 10:34 PM | Permalink

    I wonder how many winners of this trophy use it for its actual intended purpose? Nice. ^_^

  37. Rahl
    Posted October 16, 2012 at 10:10 AM | Permalink

    Hi Pat,

    Sorry that im late to the party but big grz on getting the award!
    Was just wondering how they got that thing past customs and to the USA?

    • IvoryDoom
      Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:30 AM | Permalink

      I would assume they didnt send it on a commercial flight with people flying along.

      Probably on a plane owned by FedEx or UPS or whatever they have in the UK. Freight Plane.

      Or maybe even by Ship. I dont think they either have the same customs rules as Commercial Flights. Not to mention, there really arent many regulations on medieval weapons I’ve found.

      I live in CA, the land of laws for everything, and I can still carry a sword as long as it is visible for everyone to see.

  38. SeekingPlumb
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 2:18 AM | Permalink

    Congratulations!!! Most deserving. So very happy for you!!!

  39. Robin the Acolyte
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 2:20 PM | Permalink

    Is it a sin to covet thy Personal Writing Deity’s axe?
    Probably. Ah well, then. New writing goal: win my own awesome axe.

  40. Posted October 17, 2012 at 3:46 PM | Permalink

    Now you must use it in the most mundane of ways, such as cutting sandwiches, weighing down your collection of Reader’s Digests, or reaching any number of things out of your reach.

  41. tradermcduck
    Posted October 17, 2012 at 4:39 PM | Permalink

    This is the most awesome award ever.

    Just finished Wise Man’s Fear. Thank you.

  42. wonds3
    Posted October 18, 2012 at 1:54 PM | Permalink

    Okay, well . . . Now I know what I want from life.
    *adds bullet to list of goals*
    -Acquire an axe by winning the David Gemmell Award

  43. Robert Aldrich
    Posted October 30, 2012 at 11:23 AM | Permalink

    Awesome, Pat! David Gemmell is one os my all time favorite authors and it is awesome that they continue his legacy with this award.

    Now you and Brandon Sanderson can have an axe fight one of these times because he has on too, iirc.


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