Remember the David Gemmell award I talked about waaaaaay back in May?
You don’t? It’s the UK based contest. The one where I did a promotional interview after drinking too much coffee and talked about how I wanted to be Spider-Man?
Yeah. That contest. The one where the award they give out is an actual axe.
I won:
I have to say that I really approve of this trend. In the future, all awards I get should be weapons. Or a bejeweled crown. Or some manner of scepter that I can use to lord my awesomeness all over the peasantry.
The best part is that it’s actually a pretty good axe. I’ve already used it to destroy parts of our porch, and the old garage at the work house where this photo was taken.
(Click to Embiggen, If You Dare…)
And it’s not even sharpened yet. I’m thinking once I get a good edge on this, it will become my backup writing axe.
Have a great weekend everybody,
pat
70 Comments
Pat …. I’m jealous.
Aww…. If you feel bad, I could always come out to your house and vandalize your garage too….
If it’ll mean that I can see you here in Australia I’ll happily let you destroy some things.
You might get more takers for that offer than you expect. Personally, I don’t have a garage yet, but there is a trailer park nearby that I would submit as a substitute.
Honestly, i would even offer to build a shed extra for this occasion for you to take down if you came here. I would als add a free all-burritos-you-can-eat as well ;-).
And so the bidding war begins……
I raise you,
All you can eat Mexican food. But not that poor imitation stuff you guys have everywhere else. I’m talking about fajitas, enchiladas, tostadas, ceviche, menudo, posole, caldo, flautas, and tamales. Wash it down with water flavored with jicama, jamica, tamarindo, melon, or fresa. A cold Tacate clamado preperado.
There’s no better place to add 10 pounds to your waist line than Laredo Texas!!!
We need to ask Pat if this is a raise in his eyes ;-). For me it would be, but he seemed to be focussed on burritos according to some posts ;-).
Come to Norway and I can make you some Viking food! A recipie passed down in the family for bloodpancakes, it will fit really well with the axe:) After that you can pose with it on top of the mountain behind the house…
I would say “Oh, please, vandalize my garage.”
But I live in the dorms.
You could have a fundraising option: If you donate a certain amount of money, your name gets put into a hat, and if you win, Pat Rothfuss will destroy something you choose with an axe. Donate a little more and you get to keep the video.
…I’m a poor college student, but I would donate so much money…
Masek you’re right……
AND BURRITOS!!!!
how’s that?
that’s kind of cool… what am i saying? it’s awesome! an axe… but a lute would have been cool too…
That’s for when they start giving out a big award called the Patrick Rothfuss award.
Ahh… the Amazing Axeman!!!
:-D
Excellent.
Patrick RothDruss?
Brilliant!
Who did this thing!? He was already packing has a beard that could fell his enemies and someone goes on and hands him an axe. The end is nigh. Mayan prophecy not looking like such a big joke now is it?
This axe was made by http://www.raven-armoury.co.uk/ – they do some REALLY nice work, including a full-size Snaga, The Swords of Night and Day and a couple of different Stormbringers.
I’ve been a fan of their too-expensive-for-a-poor-sod-like-me work for many years.
It kinda makes me sad though to see a (miniature) weapon, which takes months to make used to chop wood. A private buyer has to order these things years in advance.
Would you rather he posted some pics of him testing the axe on college freshman?
No point in having an axe if you can’t chop stuff.
Wow, and just a few days back I was searching the blog to see if you had acknowledged your victory.
Enjoy your brand new cuddly Snaga.
OK, I’ll take the bait, that’s sitting there on the hook, all tempting and alluring.
Your “backup writing axe”? This rather suggests that there’s already a primary writing axe…
Yes.
Does it have a name?
Of course it does, but Pat couldn’t possibly tell you it. You would have power over it if he did that.
Unless his primary writing axe is copper…
I wouldn’t put this past Pat.
That is a grand award. Snaga, the axe of Druss the Legend, a.k.a Deathwalker. David Gemmells greatest hero. Show it some respect Mr. Rothfuss.
Come on guys its an *axe*. Axes are for chopping, yes? I guess I’m just saying I think it very respectful to use something for its intended purpose. Though admittedly, it might be more useful chopping bodies if it weren’t miniature. So really, this is a humble compromise. Heh heh.
Gemmell would get a kick out of someone actually thunking it into an old shed. It’s not like he’s throwing it or, worse, tossing it into a box out of sight, like it didn’t mean anything to him.
Show it some respect by LARPING next time you hack shit.
Duh.
There’s this interesting group of warriors called the Adem, you might have heard of them.
They seem to maintain that keeping a blade on them, and ignoring the fact that it has purposes beyond killing, is one of the highest forms of disrespect.
Since they were, in fact, created by “Mr. Rothfuss” I’m going to guess he probably agrees.
You respect a thing by putting it to good use.
My axe is a Fender
Reading this at school in the morning.
I immediately told four people. They were all amused.
Pat, can I pay you to come wreck my garage?
Pat, can you tell us about the author?
Gemmell that is
Hey look! You can use a thing called google to find out! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Gemmell
Is it me, or does the blade of that axe look like the special magicky one from Season 7 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Pat, you should go out and kill some vampires with it, just to be sure.
Well, if you want to take some of the load off of my almost 80 y/o father in law you and your axe could swing by MD and finish chopping up our woodpile. Might be problematic bringing the axe as carry-on luggage.
Oooph. I am super jealous.
Been pining for a copy of Snaga from raven-armoury for years and you get what looks like a personalized one engraved with how awesome you are for free (well, for the cost of writing some damn fine books).
Very nice. Very well deserved.
I embiggened the photo and all I can say is… damn. Congrats Pat. Now it just needs a nice piece of black wood to mount it with.
Patrick,
I am appropriately jealous. That is one cool axe, and I can only imaging what your first string writing axe is like if that’s your backup.
My axe is from my grand-dad, a master pattern maker and farmer. The double bladed head shows a lot of serious wear from repeated sharpenings, and sadly I’ve had to replace the handle with good hickory wood. My dad just shakes his head every time he sees it and talks about the number of tree stumps grandpa cleared out with that axe. It’s hanging up on the wall of my woodshop as inspiration – a constant reminder of how hard that man worked.
Congratulations, I hope that someday your grand-kids will see your award and be reminded of your work.
Regards,
And it’s not even sharpened yet.
Does this mean you have an axe to grind?
HA! Excellent.
Rothduril The Flame of the Midwest?
Pat,
Does this mean you will be coming to the UK for the Award Ceremony? *super excited squeal*
I admit, I was wondering how long it was going to take for them to announce your victory.
ah yes, I’ve been awaiting this blog with great patience. I agree, all awards for fantasy authors at least…especially epic fantasy authors should be weapons or crowns be default…
Personally, I’ve been reading ASOIAF lately and it inspired me to purchase a the Gladius Machete from Cold Steel, for $50.00 it was so freakin worth it, I got two days ago and have hacked so much shit it isnt even sharp anymore….makes your forearms hurt like a mofo though….but dude, having a sword has been super amusing and I think I’m ready to take the plunge and buy the expensive one I’ve been eyeing from Dark Sword Armory…oi…anyway, sorry, had to share since weapons were the blog topic…
On another note – you should totally make a youtube review for us, I’ll bet their arent many reviews of your axe up there and we could see you destroy some cool stuff…maybe after you sharpen it? Pretty Please?!
Now that you have a sweet copper dagger and man killing battle axe, all you need is a ranged weapon!
Am I a bad person for wondering what would have happened if you’d won a guillotine?
New rule:
Send Pat an unsharpened edged weapon, expect it to get embedded in a wall.
Hmm. I wonder if a sharpened edged weapon would fare differently.
Hmm.
I’m pretty sure someone sent him a sharpened copper knife that came to the same ends…
I actually think there is a picture of him stabbing a wall with it…inside this time though…
You’ll have to look through the blog…
Hello Pat,
Congratulations.
I have to say it’s an interesting and very cool award. I also think that all awards should be in the form of medieval weapons… well almost, at the moment I also accept cash and valid checks.
I decided to write a comment, because I couldn’t cast away the thought of Nordic men, with axes, roaring through the streets of Lisbon and smashing/slashing some very magnificent and quite expensive cars from our (Portuguese) politicians.
Sorry… I know it’s not cool to boast like this in your blog, but today, I’m in a really shitty mood… and I just need to share this with a stranger.
Why cars? It’s the latest big political issue in Portugal. You see, one of our big political party(from the left wing) just decided to change their entire fleet of cars(it’s a lot of them), when the government is asking us (more of a telling kind of thing), to agree, yet again, with some major austerity measures.
So, if you ever get in the mood to cut something again, come to Lisbon Portugal (under disguise, of course… ) and bring that axe. A lot of people here, would love to see some cars getting mysteriously redesigned. Don’t worry, it’s the “crème de la crème” of cars… Mercedes, BMW’s, Audi’s (not the cheap ones)… you may even find them all lined up. You may want to bring Felurian Shaed (yes, I stopped to search for it in your book) and a fast get away plan, to avoid an International incident.
I hope you’re not too pissed with me, for writing this here, because I honestly quite like your work, and I wouldn’t want one of my favorite authors to be angry with me.
Best
I envision Pat carrying the axe around him just to set up scenarios like this:
Friend #1: Hey can you guys come and help me move some furniture this weekend?
Friend #2: Sure, we can use my truck
Patrick: And MY axe!!!
Friend #1: Damnit Pat, stop saying that quote.
Oh yes. Now this is something. You need an encouragement to become a succesfull writer? they will give you Snaga the Sender, the Blades of no Return. Me wants! Now if they gave also Waylander’s double crossbow, that would be absolutely awesome. BTW, its screaming from wherever you left it to be sharpened. Even I can hear it.
Off-topic. Pat, did you ever though about coming to Spain? We exist, you know. When you want. No hurries. Bring Snaga with you.
I had the opportunity to hear David Gemmell interviewed at a conference not long before his death. I think he would be chuffed to know how much, and in how many ways, you are appreciating the award named in his honor.
Congratulations!
Congratulations on the award. There need to be more awards that give weapons as trophies. I mean what’s the point of winning a trophies that can’t be used for future decapitation purposes?
That is a nice axe by the way. There’s nothing more devastating than a big chopper ;-)
Man… is there a chance, a single chance, that some random guy with *just* dreams of being a pro writer ever wins something as badass as this?
Yep. You have to kill an entire Nadir army, some slave traders, a dozen of bandits, and two or three demons from WTFHell.
Rather than offering Pat money, I’d believe he would be swayed more by far if the bidding became donations to WorldBuilders.
I have some logs that need splitting…
Beauty! I’ve got a thing for heavy and pretty knives as well. I’d gladly accept them as payment if I didn’t need to eat.
I was rooting for you to win if or no other reason than I thought you would enjoy the axe more than anyone else. I think I was right…
I wonder how many winners of this trophy use it for its actual intended purpose? Nice. ^_^
Hi Pat,
Sorry that im late to the party but big grz on getting the award!
Was just wondering how they got that thing past customs and to the USA?
I would assume they didnt send it on a commercial flight with people flying along.
Probably on a plane owned by FedEx or UPS or whatever they have in the UK. Freight Plane.
Or maybe even by Ship. I dont think they either have the same customs rules as Commercial Flights. Not to mention, there really arent many regulations on medieval weapons I’ve found.
I live in CA, the land of laws for everything, and I can still carry a sword as long as it is visible for everyone to see.
Congratulations!!! Most deserving. So very happy for you!!!
Is it a sin to covet thy Personal Writing Deity’s axe?
Probably. Ah well, then. New writing goal: win my own awesome axe.
Now you must use it in the most mundane of ways, such as cutting sandwiches, weighing down your collection of Reader’s Digests, or reaching any number of things out of your reach.
This is the most awesome award ever.
Just finished Wise Man’s Fear. Thank you.
Okay, well . . . Now I know what I want from life.
*adds bullet to list of goals*
-Acquire an axe by winning the David Gemmell Award
Awesome, Pat! David Gemmell is one os my all time favorite authors and it is awesome that they continue his legacy with this award.
Now you and Brandon Sanderson can have an axe fight one of these times because he has on too, iirc.
Cheers!