Category Archives: contests

Photo Contest Part X – The Grand Prize Winner

And here we have it. The end of the contest. The entry so awesome that I cannot even post it on the blog. I dare only reflect its infinite glory with a simple link.

When you get to their page, make sure that you click on the first page first. (It’s the one that says “Chasing the Wind.”) Then click through to follow the storyline. Yes. There’s a storyline.

Wow. I just looked at it again. It made my honest-to-god tingly.

You know what? I’m not even going to talk about it right now. I don’t want to distract you. You should just go, check it out, then come back here and leave a comment that tells them how unspeakably cool they are.

Go. Seriously.

pat

Also posted in cool things, fan coolness | By Pat46 Responses

Photo Contest Part IX – Covers and Cosplay.

Well folks, we’re almost at the end of the photos. I hope you’ve had as much fun as I have.

Our final category is: “Best Cosplay.” But before we get to that, there was a small subcategory of photos that I haven’t included yet: photos commenting about the covers of the book itself.

This is the real hot-button question, of course. How much naked man chest do you prefer?

A lot of people weighed in on the subject.

Even to the point of dressing up as their preferred cover.

And here you see my clever segue into the “Best Cosplay” category. Look like anyone you know?

Maybe this will help. When I started this contest up on Facebook, someone else took young Kvothe’s posed picture and photoshopped him onto the cover. I think both the model and the photoshopper deserve an honorable mention prize.

Some of the pictures people took told a story.

Here, for example, we have an epic battle taking place for the love of a beautiful woman….

Or not.

Interesting side note: this is the look that women have been consistently giving me for the last 15 years. Admittedly, they usually have a pretty good reason….

I was especially tickled by the people who staged scenes from the book. This one is subtle, and the reference is easier to catch in the following version:

Here’s the strapping young man we saw at the beginning of Part VIII, putting those abs to good use. Extra points for rescuing the lady and the book.
Anyone who’s read The Name of the Wind should be able to identify this scene. But what really impressed me was the hard, white Dalonir cheese that they went to the trouble of including in the picture. That’s the level of detail that gets you a pair of lovely runner-up prizes: one for Kvothe and one for Auri.

This is hot. The best part? Kvothe’s drawn-on abs.

Winner. Such a sweet picture. I’m guessing most of you can identify this scene too.

We have a good degree of accuracy here too. Denna is all, “You’re so dreamy.” And Kvothe is thinking, “I wish Denna liked me…. Hey, are those cumulus or cirrus clouds.?”

Congrats. Both Kvothe and Denna can have a fabulous prize of their choosing.

This is so not cannon. Still, it’s nice to see poor Kvothe get a little love…

Remember, if you’ve won, you need to follow the guidelines I laid down at the beginning of the contest in order to claim your swag. Now that all the winners are finally posted, I’m going to go through and start packaging and mailing things out.

Well…. I shouldn’t say that ALL the winners are posted. There was one entry so amazing that I had to give it a post all its own. We’ll see that next week, so stay tuned.

pat

Also posted in book covers, fan coolness | By Pat13 Responses

Photo Contest Part VIII – Eros, Filius, and Agape

One of the original categories I proposed for this contest was “Most Sexy.” This was, of course, a shameless attempt to get young ladies to send me pictures of themselves all scantily clad.

As with all of my nefarious schemes, this one met with varying degrees of success.

Oh. I remember when I had abs. *Sigh.* A decade of sitting in front of a computer writing a novel has not been good for my physique. I hope y’all appreciate what I gave up for this novel….

Similarly, as the pictures started to roll in, I realized that that “sexy” was too narrow a term for this category. I needed to broaden the field a bit, but I can’t think of a single way to describe them. “Most Lovely” isn’t quite right either. Perhaps what we need is not a single broad term, but a group of more specific ones….

The ancient Greeks were wise enough to have three words for love: Filius, Eros, and Agape. Filius was family love, what you feel for your mom. Eros was sweaty love of the sort that you feel for best friend’s hot mom. Agape is profound and elevated. A sort of soul love, like what you feel for your PlayStation, or Natalie Portman, or Joss Whedon.

Let’s do it that way, let us divide and conquer.

Some people made blatant attempts to appeal to my prurient interests. But these heavy-handed photoshoppings were the exception to the rule.

Some photos, in fact, were very high-class. Elegant, even.

Here we have the flirtation that comes at the beginning of the relationship….

…. and the romance that comes later. You sure know how to treat a book, Captain Joe.

Awwww…. the sweetest picture.

Here, apparently my book has just competed in some manner of sexual Olympics. I’m pretty sure that low score up on the board is from the East German judge….

Only rarely in my life have I been looked at with this degree of adoration. This is an agape look.

Awwww… Filius.

And there was a fair share of straight-up sexy too. Good old-fashioned Eros never goes out of style.

We’ve got librarian sexy.

Hip-wader sexy. (Don’t judge me.)

And some bad-boy sexy. Can you feel the sheer damn manliness rolling off this? Not a lot of guys seemed interested in sending in pictures of this sort, so I think it’s worth the runner-up position.

Our winner. So lovely. (I assume this was before the duck showed up…)

(Click to Embiggen)

And the picture that stunned me. The extra-winner. Winner plus. The ladies who sent this in were careful to point out that they were reading Chapter 69: Wind or Women’s Fancy.

Ladies, for going to such lengths, each of you may have whatever prizes you like. Plus, I’d like to send along something special. Would you have any interest in a couple copies of the ARC I’ve been hording? It only seems fair that you would each get one, as this was clearly a team effort.

This picture. I… I just don’t know what to say. Part of me feels like I should try to be suave here. I feel like I should pretend…

Here’s the deal. I think when we’re young, we all dream of being famous. We see actors or rock stars on the news, and we want some of that for ourselves. It’s a dream of power. It’s a childish fantasy.

I’m a grown-up. Partly. And that grown-up part of me says, “You should be mature about this. Assuming an attitude of careful appreciation to this picture. Be calm and complimentary, but don’t overdo it. Remember, you don’t want to seem like some immature git. Or worse, an old pervert.”

I’m also a feminist. Hell, I spent years as the ADVISOR to the local feminist group. That part of me is grumbling about women’s bodies as objects, and… y’know… patriarchy and stuff.

These are just a few of the ways my superego is trying to assert itself. Trying to make me feel guilty. Trying to crush my joy thin and lifeless as a dry, brown leaf.

But no. I’m going to shrug off all that responsible-minded bullshit for a moment and tell you the truth. This is cool. This is the coolest thing ever. I look at this picture and I feel like a goofy teenager again. When I first saw it, I laughed with delight and joy. I told everyone about it.

I wish I could go back in time and talk to my poor, lonely, confused teenage self and say, “Pat, things are not going to go smoothly for you over the next couple years. You will make terrible mistakes. You will spend a decade getting your college degree and writing a unmarketable behemoth of a fantasy novel. Most people, even the ones that love and support you, will think that this is a pretty stupid thing to do, and they will be right in thinking that.”

Then I would lean forward and say, “But if you keep writing, you will finish that book. And if you keep revising it, a publisher will buy it. They will pay you money for the story that came out of your head. And once that book is in print, there are people who will love your book. They will love it beyond all reason and expectation. They will love your book to such a degree that beautiful young women will strip naked and adorn their bodies with the image of your book, and then they will send you a picture of it!

In my mind’s eye, I can see the smile on the face of that teenage Pat. It is the smile I am wearing now. It goes deep down into my chest, and it feels good. It feels like being a stupid kid again.

Tomorrow it will probably fade. I’ll probably feel a little embarrassed about the fuss I made over this picture. But for now, I am happy in a very non-mature, non-responsible way.

For now, I know that I am very lucky. Thank you all.

pat

Also posted in fan coolness | By Pat54 Responses

Photo Contest Part VII – Drama

When I started the contest, I really didn’t expect there to be so much drama involved.

Not only is this shot very well composed, but her expression here is priceless. It’s halfway between “Alas!” and “Whatev.”

Captain Joe, suspiciously without pants in this photo, includes the following caption:

“Why?” begs Captain Joe of the blood-red sky. “Take me too!”

“No,” replied the Sky.

“But NOTW is too powerful for this world, too awesome – it hurts us.”

“You have a pointy chin, Captain Joe, and I find your beard lacking.”

Overcome with anguish and poor dialogue, Captain Joe despairs of ever finding true happiness again.

There were more than a few photos sent in showing the book in heavenly surroundings.

Or emanating what can only be considered a holy light.

Here we have holy light AND drama. A word of advice, if you ever see a glowing book outside your window at night. Don’t follow it into the woods. I don’t think that’s safe at all.

Some pictures told stories. Bizarre stories. Captions are theirs, not mine.

“Enough of your bitch-bitch about carry three rocket *and* book. Everybody carry book. Everybody look for Chandrian. We find them – you be glad you have three rocket.”

Before the gentle caress of Rothfuss, this poor soul was lost in self doubt, alcoholism and perhaps mental retardation….

After the gentle caress of Rothfuss, this man has become a success. He is now prepared for the trials and tribulations of everyday nerdom.

A lot of people obviously feel that the book will protect them from harm.

I’m guessing it would stop a sword thrust, now that I’m thinking of it.

Best. Fort. Ever. You’ll totally be safe there. At least until one of the Borders staff shows up, bitches you out, and makes you put them back on the shelf….

When I first saw this picture, I really didn’t know what to think. Vague threat? Dada art? My editor telling me that I needed to quit blogging and get to work on book two?

Then I realized it was a two-parter meant to demonstrate yet another way that The Name of the Wind can improve your lifestyle. I’m going to give this guy an honorable mention prize if for no other reason than he put my book in his pants.

However, the book is not merely a protective device. Apparently, it’s a bit of an ass kicker too.

While I don’t condone this sort of violence, I’m willing to bet that those peeps had it coming.

More often than not, my book seemed to get into fights with other books, rather than with sugary confections.

Joe’s caption:

The release of the paperback edition of The Name of the Wind sparked a literary war – the Last Great Literary War. It scoured libraries, bookstores, and personal book collections alike. We lost – everyone lost – the world burned. No one saw the sheer awesomeness of a mass-market edition coming. In the end, there could be only one…

A lot of photos set up an antagonistic relationship between The Name of the Wind and another more firmly established fantasy series.

Some of the photos were symbolic.

Others were more passive aggressive.


But this one was my favorite. Runner-up, mostly because of the caption.

Lute-Playing, Wind-Naming, Dragon-Slayer: 7
Boy Wizard With Angst Issues: 0

Really, he never stood a chance.

Notice: No books were harmed in the taking of this photograph. Except for HP2, which had to be emergency rolly-carted out of the area. Trauma Librarians expect a full recovery.

On a side note, if I can’t hack it as an author, I think I might try to be a trauma librarian next. That’s a job I think I’d enjoy….

(Click to Embiggen)

And the winner.

Undoubtedly this is the goriest book battle ever. It is fair to point out that this was more a battle royal, as opposed to The Name of the Wind taking on all comers. Honestly, I’m just glad that Mists of Avalon took out Dark Tower early on. If not for that, I don’t think I would have had much of a chance.

Two categories left. My two favorite categories: “Most Sexy” and “Best Cosplay.”

Stay tuned.

pat

Also posted in fan coolness | By Pat30 Responses

Photo Contest Part VI – Miscellaneous

Well, I seem to be on the mend from my recent bout with hellish sick. It was one of those where, as my mom used to say, “You run for the bathroom and then don’t know which end to point at the toilet.”

Even in the moments when I was not in danger of sudden containment breach, my guts…. how to put this delicately…. They have been filled with terrible rumblings. Were we on a spaceship together, and my guts made this sort of noise. I believe that you would be fully justified in shooting me and stuffing my body out an airlock, rather than risk dealing with whatever alien life form eventually emerged with the express purpose of wrecking your shit.

But enough of that. On to today’s winners. I’ve been saving some of the best for last:

There were a lot of pictures that didn’t fit into any category. So I decided to lump them all together under Miscellaneous. That’s what we have for you today:

Some of these were simple, if slightly quirky.

Some were slightly odd.

…and some were surreal.

Wii!

I really don’t know how I should feel about this shot….

Right now I’m going with vaguely titillated, then weird and guilty.

“Aerlevsedi” is definitely worth some extra points.

You guys….. I…. I love you guys. I don’t know who you are, but I’m guessing if I lived closer to you, we’d hang out. I’d bring over hex map (as opposed to your grid map) and teach you the Hero System ruleset so we could play in my world.

But alas….

These guys should go hang with the Barbies. I think that would be my favorite party ever.

I never expected The Name of the Wind to be scrapbooked. Ever. Never ever.

Someone familiar here, giving a bit of an Auri vibe. Plus: awesome tree.

As a side note, I think if I live a good life. I might see something like this when I die.

Hopefully just after I die though. Not just before. If I see this after I die, it’s because an angel wants my autograph. If I see it just before I die, it’s because a pretty young girl just pushed me out of a tree. Probably because I got all pervy on her.

I’m not sure why I like this one so much, but I do….

Science!

This looks like one of the old pieces of machinery you’d find in the Underthing.

(Click to Embiggen)

The Runner-Up. Most of the pictures will be familiar to you, but you’ll have to embiggen it to read the text, and the text is really what makes this one shine.

(Click to Embiggen)

The Winner. You’ll have to see the larger version of this one too. In fact, you’ll probably need to see some parts of it kind of close up to appreciate what’s going on….

Thanks again everyone who participated. And, as I’ve said before, info on claiming your prizes is in this blog post over here.

Still to come:”Best Cosplay” “Most Dramatic” and “Most Sexy.”

I’m off to work on book two….

pat

Also posted in fan coolness, hodgelany | By Pat17 Responses

Photo Contest Part V – Driving, Reading, and Animals

Apparently, the book has been doing a lot of traveling lately, forcing me to add a new category. “Best Transportational Photo.”

This shows a degree of loving care that I appreciate.

Here, I can see my book isn’t entirely safe…. But it’s certainly having an adventure. That’s a fair trade-off.

This shot shot gave me flashbacks to Microsoft’s flight simulator. At the time I played it, the simulator was so accurate that you could count hours spent playing toward your total flying hours when applying for a pilot’s licence. It was so accurate that the manual was thicker than your average college history text. So accurate that I never, ever, managed to successfully land a plane without crashing.

Please do not read my book while driving.

Please do not read my book while driving. Even if you have the ability to steer with your freakish monkey feet.

Please do not read the book while driving. Even if you’re impatient for the audiobook. Runner-up.

Please do not…. Okay. Here’s the deal. If you don’t drive while reading the book, you two can have the win for this category. Fair?

A lot of people sent in pictures of themselves reading the book.

A lot of people.

A lot.

Of people.

There were several pictures of the book triumphing over homework.

If you look closely at this one, you can see that my book is also the wallpaper on the computer in the background.

You might recognize this lovely lady from before. She’s the dancer we saw back in part three of the contest.

Runner-up. I love the smile here, she’s obviously enjoying herself. If you’re ever trapped on a desert island, we all know what you should bring.

The book, I mean. Not a pretty young lady in a dress. Though now that I’m thinking about it….

Winner. The staging here is great. It’s also interesting to note that the book she’s reading from is the promotional galley. That’s the first version of the book that they ever printed. Don’t feel too jealous if you don’t have one though. I made about five thousand small changes and re-wrote several chapters between that version and when the hardcover came out.

Lastly, we have the “Book with Animals” category. Where, oddly enough, there were an disproportionately large number of bird-related entries.


I view my inability to come up with a funny caption for this picture a personal failing on my part. If anyone can come up with something worthwhile in the comments section, I’d really appreciate it.

Awww….


Creepy.

Creepier.

Runner up.

Winner. I really love this picture. Not only is the composition really nice. Not only do I like turtles, but this is exactly how I feel sometimes when I’m doing revisions….

Rest assured that in these last two photos, the animals were handled well and set free in the end. Here are the two photographers (both of whom you’ve already seen at this point) saying goodbye to the turtle, who they had nicknamed “Diogenes.”

Remember, if you’re a winner or a runner-up, you get fabulous prizes. For details head over here.

I’m sorry for the weak ending to this post, and the lack of wit in the captioning. But as I started to enter the photos for the final category, I began to feel… profoundly.

I was at Wiscon this weekend, and there was a stomach flu getting spread around. I thought I’d dodged it, but, given that I feel a painful rumbling in my guts and I’m beginning to sweat, apparently not.

I was looking forward to working on more revisions to book two after I posted this, but I fear I’m in for a very unpleasant night instead.

Pray for me.

pat

Also posted in fan coolness | By Pat30 Responses

Photo Contest Part IV – Celebrities and Foriegn Climes

People have been taking pictures of the book all over the place.

Based on some of the other photos that were included with this one, I’m guessing this is actually an honest-to-goodness desert-y area. As opposed to a beach or a gravel quarry.

This one was, apparently, taken on Mount Hood.

Not all of the locations were exotic. This one was taken at Uncle Hugos, a bookstore that deals exclusively in fantasy/science fiction. In an interesting side note, the guy who runs Uncle Hugos was one of the very first people to get excited about the book after reading a galley copy, and to ask me to come out for a signing. So this bookstore has a special place in my heart.

I’ve had several photos where the book was shown with famous landmarks. This one brings back some memories. I haven’t been out to the statue of liberty since I had to fetch that shipment of Ambrosia for UNATCO all those years ago….

Not all the landmarks that people used were universally well known. But anyone who has spent any significant amount of time in Madison knows exactly where this photo was shot.

Here we are above the clouds….

And here we are below the ground, in a New York city subway.

Here’s another by the same photographer. Can you guess where it is?

I have to say, I really like the composition of these shots. Even if it didn’t say, BITTER Photography I’d have a strong suspicion that they were taken by a pro.

Here’s the runner up in “Most Foreign.” This was taken in the catacombs in Italy. Apparently, the photographer got yelled at because taking pictures in there is, well, forbidden. The fact remains that it’s a pretty awesome shot.

But this has to be the winner. Not only was this the photo that gave me the idea for this contest, you can’t get much more foreign than this. The photographer told me that it was balmy out when he took this – a mere 60 degrees below.

And, because I admire ingenuity, an honorable mention for the photo of my book at the West Pole. Let me know which prize you’d like too.

Another thing I didn’t anticipate when I started this contest was the celebrity angle. A lot of folks sent in pictures of the book with famous people.

Of course, sometimes the celebrities weren’t really willing participants in this activity….

Other times the celebrities involved were completely fictional….

Or both.

Generally speaking though, the celebrities in question were desirous of the book….

Even Indiana Jones…

…and Benito Juarez.

Some celebrities were forced to make difficult choices….

Here’s Captain Joe again. Looking to help out the allied powers. As we all know, the hardcover will stop a bullet.

Here’s one obviously taken by a fellow Buffy Fan.

The caption to this one read: “The lute?… bah! A _real_ hero would have played the accordion.”

The runner-up does a nice job of illustrating why I like Batman better than Superman. Superman obviously can’t be bothered with the book. He’s obviously too busy flexing and reciting the pledge of allegiance in his head.

Batman, on the other hand, is obviously into it. I could see him appreciating Kvothe’s character.

And here’s the Winner of the celebrity category. On one hand, this picture can’t help but make me happy, as it is packed with all sorts of awesome: a beautiful woman, my book, and a Boba Fett made entirely out of Lego. But on the other hand, this picture makes me sad, as I’m guessing it’s probably the closest thing to a three-way that I’ll ever have.

Still, in terms of a three-way, you have to admit that’s pretty hot.

There’s more to come. And rest assured, I’m saving some of the best for last.

pat

Also posted in fan coolness | By Pat24 Responses
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