Category Archives: contests

Published: May 19, 2008

Photo Contest Part III – Anthropomorphic and Athletic

Lots of pictures today. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

First category: Most Athletic

Here’s Captain Joe again, making me feel better about the fact that I still play on the springy horses too. The name of his mighty steed? Captain Joe dubbed him “Thunderplum.”

I don’t know what sport is being invented here. But I’m reasonably sure that 1) It kicks the ass off Polo. And 2) I really don’t want to play without some serious protective gear.

I love this one for many reasons, not the least of which is that it led to me learning an awesome new word: arabesque.

I don’t know the word for this pose, but I wish I did. I like to think that if I knew the word, I could make use of it at some future point in my life and be better off for it.

Why is this photo listed in “Most Athletic?” Well, apparently it was shot while running away from security on the set of Johnny Depp’s new movie, “Public Enemies.”

Someone might need a lesson about sharing. And about keeping his center of gravity low during a bout….

See? Apparently three people can read the book at once.

I really appreciate it when people are careful with the book. Since they have someone there whose express purpose is to catch the paperback if it falls, they get the runner-up position. Since it’s a group shot, they each get a prize.

I love the pointy toes here….

Another item for my long list of Fun Stuff I Would Hurt Myself Doing.

Also, I would like everyone to appreciate the degree of restraint I’m showing by not making a swinger joke right now.

And the winner. Both ladies can have their choice of items from among the swag available. Also, you should rest comfortably in the knowledge that you rock the house, the casbah, and my socks, in roughly that order.

Next: Most Anthropomorphic

Another thing I didn’t expect when I started this competition was that folks might dress up my books or to put them into people-ish situations. Such as this…

The caption for this photo was something along the lines of, “A great book, but does it cuddle?”

And yes, that is canned frosting and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. It appears my book is continuing in the fine tradition of getting more action than me.

…or should that be “more action that I?” Meh. Witness the deep wellspring of my not really giving a damn.

Moving on.

This is my book reading a magazine. Some flights are so long that even your leisure reading can get bored.

This one is bound to screw with your perspective a little bit…..

… especially combined with the runner-up. Who knew my book was such a rebel?

But this is the unabashed winner. The caption:

Old Grandpa muses on the new addition to the family…”It’s sure a good thing the little whippersnapper looks so much like my daughter. Look at that husband of hers – using a length of rope to hold up his pants. In my day, I had a rippling naked man chest – but I had to cast that vanity aside. Now days all you need is daisies to woo a woman and she’ll ignore your ridiculous pants!”

Every time I look at this picture I find something new to love. But even before I read the caption, I was marveling at the pants.

The next time I’m at some convention, and there’s a group of new authors hanging around at the bar trying to out-awesome each other, I’m going to sit back until everyone else has bragged their biggest brag. Then I’ll pull out my trump card: “Someone made pants for my book,” I’ll say, “And then they took a picture of it.”

So I declare this a double win. I’ll send the genius behind it a couple of prizes of her choice. She deserves them.

Later all,

pat

Also posted in cool things, fan coolness | By Pat23 Responses
Published: May 17, 2008

Photo Contest Part II – Babies

Everyone, I would like you to meet Captain Joe. You saw him paying homage to the book in the last blog.

Though Joe put together a lovely shrine and took an excellent picture, I mentioned in that he couldn’t win a prize in that category.

Joe came into the contest early, and he came in strong. He photoshopped, posed, dramatised, and wrote captions that cracked me up. What’s more, he seems to have put his life at risk at least once or twice. As in this one, where apparently he climbed up onto a roof….

…to set up a scenic shot.

So why can’t Joe win?

Well, the first problem is that Joe entered so many photos, of so many types, that if I let him win, he could, potentially, crowd out a lot of the other folks in the competition.

But the second reason is the larger of the two. You see, Joe is an Australian.

And I hate people from Australia.

No. Kidding. Just kidding. Well… I’m half kidding…. Joe is actually from Australia, Perth specifically. But I don’t hold it against him.

The real problem is that back when I set this up, back when I was hoping to get maybe a dozen entries, I said that the picture needed to include the paperback. They don’t have access to the US paperback in Australia yet.

This was a short-sighted mistake, and I don’t plan on repeating it if (when) I do another one of these.

Still, I’m left with a problem. On one hand, it is a rule. IN a way, it’s unfair to everyone else if I suddenly change it after the fact. But on the other hand, Joe’s pictures were pretty cool, and, in my opinion, this sort of fanatical minioning should really be rewarded.

So here’s the deal. In the upcoming blogs you’ll see Joe’s photos included in the categories such as “Most Sexy” “Most Dramatic,” but he won’t be eligible to win. Instead, I’ve decided to make create a new category for him. Let’s call it… “Most Most.”

What does Joe win? Well, that’s a good question. I’ve got some various stuff to give away as prizes.

1. Good old-fashioned signed copies of my book. I’ve got a bunch of the new hardcovers here at my house, and though I love them, they are taking up quite a bit of shelf-space. I’ll sign or personalize them and send them off to you if that’s what you want.

2. Copies of my first published book, The College Survival Guide.

This is a collection of the first four years of a humor column I used to write. It came out in 2005 and they only printed about 500 copies. I still have a box of them here at my house, so I’ll offer them up as prizes. Signed by me and my fabulous illustrator friend, Brett Hiorns.

3. Maps of the Four Corners, as rendered by my friend Nathan Taylor. Signed by both of us.

The winners and the runners-up can have their pick from these three. So if you see you’re a winner or a runner up, you might want to send me an e-mail letting me know which you’d like, and your real-world address too, if you haven’t done that already. Remember the address is paperback.contest {squiggly at thinger} gmail.com

In Joe’s case, because he really went the extra mile, I’m also going to include either one of the old black-cover galley copies of the book, or one of my old manuscripts. Whatever makes him happier.

Now, on to today’s category.

When I finally gathered all the pictures and tried to group them together, I found they didn’t fit neatly into the categories I’d been expecting. Oh sure, there were dramatic pictures, and cute pictures, and pictures of people reading. I’d counted on that. What I hadn’t anticipated were groups of pictures involving food, or birds, or babies.

This photoshopped one was the exception to the rule. Everyone else sent me pictures of their babies, which now that I think of it, is really unexpectedly sweet.

This guy has hair like mine.
Ah yes. This guy seems to have his priorities straight….

Eeeeeee! No! Don’t bend the cover back like that!

Awwww…. This guy wants it too. What’s more, he’s picking it over a bunch of brightly colored toys. I think we could hang out.

The Runner-Up. This is about the cutest thing ever. I think it’s a combination of the hoodie and the fact that the little pink elephant wants in on the action too.
But here is the undisputed winner. The caption that went along with this picture reads:

“Levi can’t believe he has to wait so long to continue the story. A year is a long time for a 2 month old.”

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but every time I look at this picture I end up laughing. I’ve never seen anyone so absolutely furious in my entire life. It’s nice to know that the angriest fan I ever have will never be this angry.

That’s all for now folks. More on the way….

pat

Also posted in babies, College Survival Guide | By Pat21 Responses
Published: May 15, 2008

Photo Contest Part I – Shrines.

When I first had the idea for the photo contest, it was completely off-the-cuff. I was making a facebook event for the paperback release date, and I thought, “What the hell. I’ll offer prizes if people want to take pictures of themselves with the new book.”

In my secret heart of hearts, I was thinking that it would be cool if I got maybe eight or ten pictures. Enough so that I could post them up in a blog, have some fun, and give prizes to everyone who played along.

I even had a secret backup plan. If not enough people participated, I would take some photos on my own to pad things out so I wouldn’t look like a big loser.

Suffice to say that I am officially stunned by the response. We ended with over five hundred pictures, so many pictures that it’s taken me hours and hours to download, label, and organize them. I’m sorry that not everyone can get prizes, and that I can’t even display all of them. There were just so many….

Anyway, today we’re going to start with just one category: Best Shrine.

Nice genuflection, you really stuck the dismount.

I like the fact that each of my books seems to have access to its own sword here.

Kneeling in reverential awe – check. Scenic backdrop – check. Dramatic sunset – bonus points.

Wait… is…. is that a frikkin gunblade? Yes. Yes it is.

While it would seem like this picture would be a shoe-in for the win, the mastermind behind it, Captain Joe, can’t win this category. You’ll learn why in more detail during the next blog, but rest assured, this level of awesome will not go unrewarded.

Here’s the runner-up. The Name of the Wind in paperback, playing king of the hill. If you look closely, there’s also a little plush draccus there.

The Winner. At first I thought this might be a very surreal candlelit dinner for a college student, but then I realized that the flowers, food, and drink were being offered up in tribute to the book. Also, the composition of the photo is really nice, though I’ll admit that the lighting makes me wonder if there might not also be a black goat and a knife just off frame.

Remember kids, blood sacrifices won’t get you book two any faster.

The clincher? The person who built the shrine got not only my favorite brand of ramen, but my favorite flavor too. Mmmmm…. Chicken.

Next blog we’ll get more photos, along with a discussion of what the winners actually win, and the revelation of Captain Joe’s tragic secret.

Later all,

pat

Also posted in fan coolness, geeking out | By Pat21 Responses
Published: April 27, 2008

The Rothfuss Corporation

A couple weeks ago I had the delightful experience of doing my taxes. It was extra exciting this year, because most of my money came from writery stuff. That means for the most part, I’m self-employed.

I’ve always thought “self-employed” had a nice ring to it. It’s sort of Firefly-esque. Wear a gun, take jobs as they come, and never be under the heel of nobody ever again….

But then I found out that if you’re self employed, you get to pay super double-fun bonus taxes. Because, apparently, the government hates you.

Up until this year, I’ve always gotten money back because I’ve lived well below the poverty line. This year, I got to give them money. It was, as they say, more fun than getting kicked in the throat. Mostly.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against taxes. Everyone loves to bitch about them, but taxes pay for schools, and roads, and snowplows, and sewage treatment plants. My friends have a son who is autistic, and the government helps them by bringing in well-trained people.

These things are important. If that’s all my taxes went toward, I would pay them gladly. I would sing a song while writing out the check.

However, we all know that’s not the case.

So, under the advice of several wise people, I’ve decided to start a corporation. This is supposed to prevent the government from taking quite as big a bite out of my ass for next year’s taxes.

It doesn’t seem right, honestly. The corporation is just me: I own it. And this corporation (let’s call it Me-corp) will be employing me. That, apparently, is different from being actually self-employed. Sorry? What? How does that work?

I guess what it comes down to is that the government is really, really dumb. Dumb enough so that if I put on sock on one of my hands and use it as a puppet, it will be convinced that the puppet is actually paying the taxes, not me.

But I’m not above exploiting a loophole in the system. So all that remains is to figure out what to call this corporation. I having trouble picking a name. Names are important things, you know. They tell you a great deal about a… a corporation.

So far, the only names that I can come up with are goofy ones, like Puppet-Co. Because the thought of owning a corporation is just silly to me, I keep thinking of cheesy names and slogans. Things like:

Rothco: Our Future is Your Tomorrow….

The Badassery: Crushing Your Hopes and Dreams Since 1998

Another part of me wants to just geek out and name the corporation after something in my book. I could call it “Elodin Enterprises” Or “The Valaritas Consortium.”

If y’all have any clever ideas, please feel free to list them below….

Also of note:

  • Today my book is going to be listed in the New York Times print edition at #11. It’s probably not such a big deal for you, but I’ve been excited to see it….
  • I’ve been really surprised by the response I’ve had to The Contest. I’ve already received over a hundred entries, and decided to push back the deadline because some people heard about it late and asked for more time. New deadline is May 4th. Clever readers will realize that this opens up the possibility of taking pictures on Beltane…. I’m just sayin’.

Later all,

pat

Also posted in geeking out, holding forth | By Pat58 Responses
Published: April 16, 2008

The Contest.

In the interest of being fair, I’ve decided to make the little contest I’m having on Facebook available to everyone.

This will also keep people from joining Facebook just to participate. I don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. Seriously. Facebook is like a deep well that you throw all of your available free time into. I wouldn’t wish it on any of you…

So here’s the deal.

You take a picture of your brand-new shiny paperback. Your picture reflects your deep, innermost feelings for the book. Maybe it’s funny. Maybe it tells a story. Maybe it’s full of blatant, tawdry sexiness in an attempt to appeal to my base desires.

At the end of the month, I will look at all the pictures, post the best of them in a blog, and give out fabulous prizes. Trust me. They’ll be fabulous. I have some full-color promotional maps here that have never seen the light of day. Galley copies of the book. Some first edition copies of the UK edition. Maybe I’ll even give out one of the old manuscript copies of the book I have laying around….

Anyway, here are the rules.

1. The picture doesn’t need to include you, but it does need to include the paperback.

2. Photo manipulation is legal, but by no means required.

3. Multiple entries are allowed.

4. Pictures will be judged on their general coolness. Categories may include: “Most Awesome,” “Most Funny.” “Most Sexy” “Most Dramatic” and “Most Best.”

4b. I reserve the right to add extra categories. That way, if your picture delights me, but it doesn’t fit into any pre-determined category, I can still give you a prize.

4c. Since the international readers won’t have access to the US paperback, I’ve created a new category to allow them to use their own native copies of the book: “Most Foreign.” This will be the one category you don’t have to use the paperback for.

For example:

You can post your photos up in the appropriate facebook group, or e-mail them to the following address: paperback.contest {swirly at sign} gmail.com.

If you send a picture to that e-mail address, make sure to include:

  • The photo(s). (duh.)
  • Your name.
  • How you want the photo to be credited, if it’s different than your name.
  • Your mailing address. (Where to send your fabulous prize.)

Contest is over at the end of the month.

pat

Also posted in fan coolness | By Pat12 Responses
Published: April 15, 2008

New York Times Bestseller List – Part Two.

As most of you could probably tell from my last post, I wasn’t really too coherent after I got the news about making the bestseller list.

Now that I’ve collected my wits, I figured I’d clarify a few things. Some of which I only recently became aware of myself….

First you’ll note that the date of the list I posted is from April 20th. This doesn’t mean that I know someone with a TARDIS. They make the list available before publication so that industry folks get an early clue-in.

Second, I feel obliged to point out that the list I’m on is the “Paperback Best Sellers EXPANDED list.” The regular NYT list only goes down to 20, and as you can see, I’m at #24.

What’s the difference? Well, if you look in the Sunday edition of the New York Times, you’ll find that they don’t print the expanded list. Also, bookstores tend to only stock the regular list of books. Truth is, I’m not entirely sure if I technically qualify as a “New York Times Bestselling Author” or not.

While I admit I’m hoping to climb those last few places, simply making it onto the list at all is extraordinary. A lot of authors never make it, especially not with their first book.

And the reason I’m on there is you. You bought the book. You told your friends and family about it. You nominated me for awards. You voted for me online. You read it at the library and then posted good reviews on AMAZON or Barnes and Noble. You wrote about it in your blog. You bugged your school librarian to order it. You listed it on your facebook profile. You drew fanart. You visited the website and read the blog….

In short, you helped to spread the word. Thank you all so much.

Lastly, in related news, I started a contest over on FACEBOOK to celebrate the release of the paperback. I thought I’d already mentioned it on here, but looking back on my previous blogs, I see that I haven’t. You’ve got until the end of the month if you’re interested in participating…

Later all,

pat

Also posted in cool things, Things I didn't know about publishing | By Pat9 Responses

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