Category Archives: dicking around

Fee Fie Faux

So I stumbled across this thing recently…

Even if you’re not a fan of Neil Gaiman, it’s worth watching. If you are a fan, it’s hugely funny. And if you’ve listened to Neil’s Audiobooks as much as I have (Which is to say obsessively) the above video is AMAZING.

My third time watching it, I started wondering, “Could we do something like this, but for my writing?”

At first I dismissed the thought as silly. For one thing, I don’t have Gaiman’s gorgeous voice and accent. I don’t think my writing style is as distinctive as his, either.

But the idea kept tickling at me. And the truth is, when I go to conventions, or events, or signings, I’m always looking for fun, bite-sized things I can read in front of a crowd.

So I’m finally saying “What the hell” and giving it a try. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t. But if it does work, this could be a lot of fun. I could read a couple on the JocoCruise next week, or when I’m out at Gencon. If nothing else, I’ll read the best of them on my twitch channel so everyone can see them, then upload them to youtube later for archival purposes.

So… yeah. If this is something that appeals to you, give me your best Bad Rothfuss style piece of writing in the form below. It should be NO MORE THAN 1800 characters (which is around 300 words).

I know. I know. How can you satirize my effluvient verbosity in only 300 words? Well… I don’t know. Maybe you’ll just have to pick some other element of my style to lovingly satirize. All I know is that if I don’t put a cap on these, we’ll end up with several hundred thousand words submitted and this will go from a fun little activity to a horrifying millstone around my neck. (And by my neck, I mean Amanda’s neck. Because she’s one of the folks who will be helping to winnow these down.)

Anyway. Be aware that the form is set to cut you off before you start to bloviate. What’s more, I let Amanda write her own sassy response that will pop up as an error if you go over the character count.

We’ve included a place in there for your name and e-mail, too. That way, I can give you credit if I read yours….

So… yeah. Here you go. I’m curious to see what comes in, and read some of them in my best audio narrator voice….

Take care of each other,

pat

Also posted in Consistent Verb Tense Is For Bitches, cool things, fanfic, talking shit, the craft of writing, The difference between 'slim' and 'slender' | By Pat55 Responses

Ice Bucket Challenge

I’m assuming at this point that you’ve heard about the Ice Bucket Challenge.

I’d heard about it. And it struck me as something fun and silly. But I didn’t have much desire to participate.

For one thing, I already do a bunch of charity work with Worldbuilders.

For another thing, I live in Wisconsin. That means for about 3 months out of every year just walking outside is like getting a bucket of ice dumped over your head.

I figured I’d be tagged eventually. But my intention was to smile, nod, make a donation, and move on with my life. I’m kinda busy these days….

Then this happened:

If it had been anyone other than Jim Butcher….

But that doesn’t matter, I guess. It was Jim. So I figured it was time to cowboy up.

I know, I know, I only called out two people. Sue me. I had dry ice bubbling around my precious nethers, so I wasn’t operating at 100%. And it wasn’t like we could go back and do a second take.

Who would I call out for my third if I had a chance to go back and change it? Joss Whedon? Felicia Day? Tina Fey? Max Temkin? Molly Lewis? Tad Williams? The Oatmeal?

The problem is I don’t know who’s already done it. I kinda live under a rock, and I’ve been sick these last couple days (I have no idea why.) So we’ll just leave that third one hanging. If you’ve been looking for an excuse to do the challenge, this is it.

So. There you go. Share the videos. Donate. Spread the word….

pat

P.S. I would just like it to be known that I wasn’t responsible for editing together the video. My semi-loyal crew did that. You’d think it would be enough to let them douse me with buckets of ice and water. But no, they had to tuck in that little bit at the end, too….

P.P.S. Don’t goof around with dry ice if you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s really easy to burn yourself. Or so I hear….

Also posted in hubris, Jim Butcher, my dumbness, Oot | By Pat40 Responses

Idiom’s Delight

When I was in Columbus recently, I met a reader that I’ve known for a long time….

For those of you who have been reading the blog for a while, you might recognize her name: Carly Trowbridge.

Trowbridge4-711731

She told me that she really liked the Cealdish idiom that I put into Name of the Wind, “Don’t put a spoon in your eye over it.”

For those of you who don’t know, an idiom is a phrase that means something other than what it means. For example, when you “pull someone’s leg” you’re not *really* pulling their leg, you’re teasing them. You’re telling a joke.

I love idioms, especially foreign idioms. For example, in German, you can say, “Du hast ein vogel.” Literally, it means, “you have a bird” but what it *really* means is “You’re crazy.”

Another one I like goes like this: “Jim likes to drag people through the cocco.” but what it really means is that Jim likes to trick people and pull jokes on them.

Anyway, Carly told me that she and her friends started making up their own fake idioms. Her favorite was “I’m angry enough to punch mirrors.”

So I’m throwing open the doors. Feel free to share your favorite foreign idioms in the comments below.

Or make up one of your very own.

Have fun,

pat

Also posted in fan coolness | By Pat295 Responses

Science!

Is anyone else out there interesting in doing some science?

Specifically, I’m referring to aperture science.

I’m considering trying the co-op, and I could use a partner who isn’t a complete asshat.

If anyone wants to friend up, leave your e-mail address in the comments below. (Though I would recommend somehow breaking up your full e-mail so the spam spiders don’t gobble it up.)

pat

Edit: As of 6:00 AM, with the help of North00, I have successfully saved science.

Thanks Northoo. You are a gentleman and a scholar. That was the first multiplayer I’ve done in a long while, and it was lovely. I had a great time.

Also Northoo, I’d like you to know that I really wanted to pull the light bridge out from under you a couple times just to watch you fall to your death. But I didn’t. Because that would be wrong.

For those of you in the comments that have mentioned that you’ve gone through the single player and would like to team up with someone for the co-op, maybe you could team up with each other. I have to say, the co-op was completely worth it. Not quite as cool as the single player, but approximately 80% as cool. And 80% of a near infinite amount of awesome is… well… it’s still a lot.

Play nice everyone.

It’s light outside. I should get to sleep….

pat

Also posted in gaming | By Pat112 Responses
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