Category Archives: hodgelany

Photo Contest Part VI – Miscellaneous

Well, I seem to be on the mend from my recent bout with hellish sick. It was one of those where, as my mom used to say, “You run for the bathroom and then don’t know which end to point at the toilet.”

Even in the moments when I was not in danger of sudden containment breach, my guts…. how to put this delicately…. They have been filled with terrible rumblings. Were we on a spaceship together, and my guts made this sort of noise. I believe that you would be fully justified in shooting me and stuffing my body out an airlock, rather than risk dealing with whatever alien life form eventually emerged with the express purpose of wrecking your shit.

But enough of that. On to today’s winners. I’ve been saving some of the best for last:

There were a lot of pictures that didn’t fit into any category. So I decided to lump them all together under Miscellaneous. That’s what we have for you today:

Some of these were simple, if slightly quirky.

Some were slightly odd.

…and some were surreal.

Wii!

I really don’t know how I should feel about this shot….

Right now I’m going with vaguely titillated, then weird and guilty.

“Aerlevsedi” is definitely worth some extra points.

You guys….. I…. I love you guys. I don’t know who you are, but I’m guessing if I lived closer to you, we’d hang out. I’d bring over hex map (as opposed to your grid map) and teach you the Hero System ruleset so we could play in my world.

But alas….

These guys should go hang with the Barbies. I think that would be my favorite party ever.

I never expected The Name of the Wind to be scrapbooked. Ever. Never ever.

Someone familiar here, giving a bit of an Auri vibe. Plus: awesome tree.

As a side note, I think if I live a good life. I might see something like this when I die.

Hopefully just after I die though. Not just before. If I see this after I die, it’s because an angel wants my autograph. If I see it just before I die, it’s because a pretty young girl just pushed me out of a tree. Probably because I got all pervy on her.

I’m not sure why I like this one so much, but I do….

Science!

This looks like one of the old pieces of machinery you’d find in the Underthing.

(Click to Embiggen)

The Runner-Up. Most of the pictures will be familiar to you, but you’ll have to embiggen it to read the text, and the text is really what makes this one shine.

(Click to Embiggen)

The Winner. You’ll have to see the larger version of this one too. In fact, you’ll probably need to see some parts of it kind of close up to appreciate what’s going on….

Thanks again everyone who participated. And, as I’ve said before, info on claiming your prizes is in this blog post over here.

Still to come:”Best Cosplay” “Most Dramatic” and “Most Sexy.”

I’m off to work on book two….

pat

Also posted in contests, fan coolness | By Pat17 Responses

Interviews, etc

I did an interview a couple weeks ago over here, but I forgot to link to it until just now.

Also, for those of you who haven’t seen it already, Tarol Hunt over at Goblins did an awesome comic about the book. (It’s the second comic on the page, you’ll have to scroll down a bit.)

And lastly, this week I managed to hit the top 10 on the New York Times:

(Click to Embiggen)

That’s all for now. I’ll start announcing the winners of the photo contest later this week, so stay tuned….

pat

Also posted in cool things, Interviews | By Pat21 Responses

My Complicated Life

Okay. I’m pretty sure I’ve already pointed out Sinfest to y’all. But this one really cracked me up. I keep going back to the page, re-reading it, and laughing. So go read it then come back here. I’ll wait…

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Okay. For those of you who don’t already know, I live in Wisconsin. In the winter, Wisconsin is cold. For some of you who don’t live in a similar climate, it’s probably hard for you to understand how cold. Recently we’ve been having a few snaps around here where it drops down to more than 20 below, not counting the wind-chill.

Don’t get me wrong. I know other places are colder. I’m not trying to start a my-home-is-colder-than-your-home sort of pissing contest here. Because, honestly, pissing at these temperatures can be downright dangerous. I’m just laying the groundwork for a story here. I’m setting the scene. Wisconsin + Winter = Cold (+/- Damn).

Another thing that you might not know is the fact that I like squirrels. Mostly I like the big fluffy grey ones. When I have more free time, and the weather is more clement, I have been known to keep peanuts in my coat pocket. Then, if I see a squirrel and I don’t have anything pressing to do, I sit down and spend a half hour slowly gaining the trust of a squirrel until they feel comfortable coming to take the peanut out of my hand.

Knowing these two things, you can understand that when I found a dead squirrel on my front lawn, I was ensaddened. I felt kind of responsible, because it is my house. And I don’t have birdfeeders or anything where they can get easy food. And it’s been so *cold* lately….

So, whelmed with guilt, I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of peanuts, and last night at 3:30 in the morning I’m standing at my back door with an armload of them, ready to strew them around my backyard.

That’s when I realized that I had accidentally bought _salted_ peanuts.

I threw them out into the yard anyway, because it is really cold, and it’s likely to stay that way for a couple days. But now I’m worried that the squirrels are out there, really cold and really thirsty because they just ate a bunch of salty peanuts. Where do they get water when it’s this cold? Do they have to eat snow? Can you imagine living outside when it’s this cold, then having to eat snow because you’re thirsty?

Can squirrels get hypertension?

Anyway, that’s what’s going on with me lately. I hope everything is less anxious with all of you, regardless of geography, climate, and local fauna.

Fondly,

pat

Posted in hodgelany | By Pat35 Responses

Of things to come…

There are a few things I’ve been meaning to write about here in the blog for some time now.

Some are just little stories that I’ve been meaning to tell for a while. I have a bad habit of making a post that mentions that I’m going to a con, then when I get back I make a post saying something along the lines of: “Whoo! What a trip! I’ll give you all the details later.” But then I get busy and never seem to get around to it.

For example. My last signing was at a library in a little town where I went to high school, just outside of Madison. We got a surprisingly good turnout (about 30-40 people) and I stayed for about three hours, reading, chatting, and signing books.

Anyway, when I stopped to ask for questions, a little boy of about four or so raised his hand. I called on him, and he tells me that he likes the draccus. His parents had read him the book. Everyone smiles to themselves, and I tell him that I liked the draccus too. (In retrospect, I wish I would have asked him *why* he liked the draccus.)

I answer a few more questions, read another section, and the little boy raises his hand again. This time he tells me the secret to selling a lot of books. “You just write one,” he explained, making a gesture as if holding a pencil. “Then they make COPIES of it. Then they sell the COPIES.”

He was pretty proud of his idea, and, honestly, it was a pretty good one, so I guess he had every right to be proud.

Over the next month or so, I’ll try to get you the rest of these stories before they evaporate out of my flaky brain.

I also have a few… announcements to make. Some of them you’re going to probably be excited about, and some of them you’re probably not. Either way, both types will take some detailed writing up, and I just don’t have the time, energy, or mental wherewithal to do right now. It’s getting light outside and I should really be getting to sleep.

In closing, let me pass along a delightful time-waster: FREERICE.

I tend to average around 42 or 43, but I made it as high as 46 once. I was pretty proud of that.

Later everyone,

pat

Posted in hodgelany | By Pat24 Responses

…. and I’m back.

Hello there everyone. Sorry I’ve been away for so long.

One of the problems with doing a blog like this….

You know, only after typing that sentence did I realize something. I don’t really consider this a blog. Rather, I know this is a blog. This entity that you show up and read is a blog. But I don’t think of myself as *writing* blogs. I think of myself as writing something else. Something nameless. Something somewhere between a news post, an editorial column, and an open letter to the world.

Anyway, as I was saying, one of the problems with writing something like this. (Something that I update according to my whimsy, but that a fair number of people show up and read.) Is that if I don’t post anything for a while, it actually starts getting harder to post. After two weeks of silence, I start to feel like like I should have something *Really Cool* so say when I come back.

But I don’t. I don’t even really have any especially exciting reason for not posting for a while. Truth is, Me Being Busy Playing Catch-Up After A Convention + End of The Semester Grading + Thanksgiving + Two Signings = Radio Silence on My End.

I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t even checked my Amazon Ranking for, like, two or three days…. an unprecedented event.

(470, by the way.)

Let’s see, what news do I have? The Name of the Wind has been nominated for Borders’ Original Voices award for 2007. Point of interest, I’m the only person in my category whose title does not have a colon in it. For some reason that fills me with pride.

It just snowed here in Wisconsin. About 10 inches. My first snowfall as a homeowner. I shoveled for a solid hour tonight, great exercise that has reminded me how truly out of shape I’ve become. Take it from me, kids, being a writer has certain perks, but physique isn’t one of them.

Other news…. Hmmmm… it seems like after almost three weeks of being gone, I should have more to report….

Oh, right, my meeting with Gaiman.

In brief, it was pretty cool. About four hours before Gaiman was scheduled to do his reading, I went from being nervous about meeting him, to a different sort of nervous. Suddenly I was worried that Gaiman wasn’t going to be cool enough to live up to my expectations.

I know it’s silly to idolize authors. I know this because I *am* an author, and it’s silly for people to idolize me. Over these last couple months I’ve had people get nervous about meeting me and/or have various degrees of anxiety-related endearing geekiness when we talk. When people e-mail me and tell me that they’re nervous about meeting me a signing or a reading, I laugh and say, “Believe me, I’m really not that impressive.”

Anyone who has actually met me will back me up on this…

So I know firsthand that it’s silly. Authors are just people. But the fact remains that when we love a book, we want to love the person who wrote the book. We want them to be as cool as the stories they write, and Gaiman writes one hell of a story…

So as Gaiman’s reading approached, I grew increasingly nervous. What if he wasn’t cool enough?

I needn’t have worried. He was very relaxed and laid back. Very witty and articulate. He’s a marvelous public speaker. He gave us a early taste of his upcoming “The Graveyard Book.” He’s a great reader, too. Though I wasn’t surprised by that, as I really enjoyed the audio book story collection, “Fragile Things” which he read himself.

My reading was a half-hour after his, a hard act to follow. But I muddled through as best I could, reading a bit of my novel, a bit of poetry, and an essay I once wrote on the slow vs. fast zombies debate. It was a pretty good time.

I had about five minutes left in my time slot, and was trying to decide how to fill it, when one of the people organizing the conference came in and said, “Mr Gaiman wants to make sure he has a chance to talk to Pat before he leaves. I’m afraid I’m going to have to steal him…”

I gave the audience a look that said, “Are y’all cool with me heading out a little early?” They looked back, “Are you kidding? It’s Neil Gaiman! Run you fool, run!”

So I went over to meet him. I tried my best to not be a total spaz when we met. I didn’t want to be all gushy and fanboy. Personally, I enjoy it when people get a little geeky over my writing, but I figure he has to get that sort of thing all the time, and it has to be wearying after the first ten years or so.

So we hung out and chatted for a bit. Me and Neil. I have a picture somewhere, but I can’t find it right now…

He was, as they say, “a hell of a regular guy.” He told me that he’d had the chance to read the first few chapters of my book, because his publisher in England had given him a copy. He said something very flattering about my writing, but unfortunately, the book was too big to fit it into his carry-on luggage for his flight home. (The UK book is even bigger than the US version.) After that his life got a little busy, what with two movies coming out, books, signings, and generally being Neil Gaiman. So he kinda lost track of it. I can understand that. I’m overwhelmed right now and I can’t be a fraction of as busy as he is…

So yeah. The whole experience was lovely. We chatted and I asked him some comic-book questions, as I have some people sniffing around about doing the graphic novel adaptations of the book. It was lovely, and he gave some good advice.

Now here’s the crux of the story. Gaiman got ready to leave, but before he could head out, one of the con-goers caught him. The guy asked if he could send Gaiman a copy of his brother’s novel to read, so that Gaiman could give him some feedback. Gaiman politely refused, explaining that he wished he could, but he really didn’t have the time.

But they guy wouldn’t take the gracious refusal. He asked if Gaiman would maybe just look at a few chapters instead. Gaiman explained, again, that there just weren’t enough hours in the day, and besides, his brother would probably get better, more in-depth advice from a local writer’s group….

But the guy really wouldn’t take no for an answer. He tried a few more times from different angles. And here’s the thing: Gaiman stayed cool through the whole thing. He didn’t get bitchy or snippy or exasperated. Considering that he must get hit like that all the time, I was truly impressed.

The end. Moral: Gaiman is awesome.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now….

Oh… one other thing. I’ve been invited by writer/author John Scalzi to offer up one of my already written blogs for promotional re-post on his site: Whatever.

Any advice? Of the blogs you’ve read on here, which one do you think would be best for amusing/entertaining/hooking in new readers?

I’d appreciate it if you let me know what you think in the comments below.

Later all,

pat

Also posted in awards, meeting famous people, Neil Gaiman | By Pat31 Responses

Various and sundry items

It seems like I have a half-hundred little things I want to write about, but not enough time to do any of them justice.

So today you get a hodgepodge of miscellany. A hodgelany. If my regular blogs are nutritiously balanced meals, served with an eye for presentation… well… then this blog is going to be more like you coming over to my house and eating fish sticks directly off the cookie sheet while sitting on my couch. Tasty, but strictly no-frills.

Item 1) What I dressed up for this Halloween.

Gay Dumbledore.

If you hadn’t already heard the news, crawl out from under your rock and look HERE.

“Ah yes,” Dumbledore thought to himself. “That young Potter is a lovely bit of crumpet if I’ve ever seen one. I wonder if he’d fall for the old ‘pull something out of my hat’ routine….”

“Five points for Gryffindor!”

My accomplice in the photos is none other than my lovely ladyfriend, Sarah. It really wouldn’t have been a funny costume if I hadn’t been able to chase her around the party all night, groping shamelessly by the punchbowl and occasionally making suggestions that would make a fanfic author blush.

Item 2) Name of the Wind just made Publisher’s Weekly’s list of the top 150 books of the year. There were only seven books in the Sci-fi/Fantasy category, so I’m pretty flattered by that.

Item 3) Name of the Wind was also named one of the top ten Fantasy/Sci-fi books of the year by Amazon.

Item 4) Name of the Wind is the only fantasy novel to make it onto both of those lists.

Item 4-a (corollary) I rock the house. And, by virtue of association, so do you.

Lastly, because the blog has been getting swamped with spam advertising comments, you now have to do one of those mildly irritating security countermeasures in order to leave a comment. Please don’t let this dissuade you from making your usual witticisms. I crave them, and if they are not forthcoming, I may curl into a wretched emo ball and weep piteously.

Later,

pat

Also posted in Sarah | By Pat30 Responses

A Harry Potter Discussion, Featuring Orson Scott Card and … Me?

Due to a surreal series of events, I’ve been invited to have an online discussion with Orson Scott Card about the upcoming conclusion to the Harry Potter series.

So… yeah. One of my favorite authors and me talking about the biggest fantasy series ever. No pressure, right?

Over the next two weeks, both of us will be posting several blogs on the subject, leading up to the release, and following after.

If you’re interested in reading it, and participating in the ensuing discussion in the comments section, c’mon over. The first set of blogs have just been posted OVER HERE.

Share and Enjoy,

pat

Also posted in geeking out | By Pat2 Responses
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