Published: July 2, 2010

Protecting Our Nation’s Youth

So a couple months back, I went to the Detroit area for a convention.

Whenever I’m at a convention I find myself thinking, “I need to mention it this on the blog.”

The problem is this: When I get back from a convention, I’ve usually got a bunch of catching up to do. Revisions. Sarah needs kissing. And I usually have about 500 emails to sift through.

So I put off writing the blog for a couple days. But then something else always seems to come up. The convention stories get pushed back and eventually I give up on telling them.

But today I’m going to break that bad habit and tell a few of the stories from Penguicon.

I got a chance meet Randy Milholland in person for the first time. Randy does a webcomic I’m terribly fond of. He’s also one of the first webcartoonists to mention The Name of the Wind to his readers. It was a really big deal for me at the time, as it helped spread the word back when not a lot of people knew about the book.

We didn’t get to hang out as much as I’d hoped, but it was still cool to see him. I also took this picture:

That’s Randy drawing on the head of one of his fans. I took the picture because at the time I was a little jealous. But now that I’ve thought about it some more, I’m not so sure I’d like that sort of artistic responsibility.

I also had a lovely little adventure with Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary. But rather than re-tell that story, I’ll just link to his version of events. I honestly do not remember dropping the f-bomb on him. But Howard is a lovely guy, and I trust his memory more than mine.

I got to hang out with John Scalzi a little bit. He was delightful as ever. At one point he gave me an onion ring.

I honestly cannot remember why I took a picture of it. I think I was joking about selling it on e-bay.

Scalzi also told me a story.

Apparently, (Scalzi said) Subterranean Press sent him an ARC of The Adventures of The Princess and Mr. Whiffle.

The package showed up at his house, and his wife opened it. She flipped through it briefly, then set it down.

Later, his young daughter Athena wandered by. She saw the book and was curious about it. Understandable, really. On the surface, it looks like something every child would love:

(Warning: Do not allow book to come in contact with actual child.)

Anyway, Athena was lured in. She picked up the book, read it, and was a little… disturbed.

Athena then took the book to her mom and said, “I don’t think I like this.”

Luckily, mom was on the ball. She sat down with Athena and they chatted about the book. Processed it. Afterwards Zoe felt better, and, apparently, became rather fond of the book.

So fond of it, in fact, that Athena took it to school and asked the teacher if they could read it during story time. The teacher read the book and said “Hell no.” Though she said it in a much politer teachery way.

After Scalzi told me the story, I had a premonitory sweat. I shook my head and said, “I really need to put a sticker on the front of the book that says: This shit is not for kids.”

The idea rolled around in my head for a while, and so I talked to the illustrator, and we came up with this:

Then I had my best idea ever that week. Why not make the sticker really eye-catching? That way, people couldn’t help but notice the sticker and be fairly warned about the non-kid content.

I have to say it turned out perfectly. What’s more eye catchy than a gold-foil sticker? I’m sure when this is properly affixed to to the front of the book, people will be amply warned. Our nation’s children are now safe. Only the most foolish and lazy-minded of parents would ever mistake it for anything other than a warning label.

If you ordered your book from Subterranean Press, rest assured that you’ll be getting a sticker shipped to you along with your book. For the children.

In closing, two quick related notes:

1) Don’t hassle the folks at Subterranean Press, asking them if your book has shipped. They’re shipping them out as fast as they can. Be patient.

2) Subterranean is also shipping out their prizes from the Worldbuilders raffle. They’re sorry about the delay, but it was unavoidable. So if you get a couple unexpected books in the mail, it’s not a mistake, it’s a prize. Enjoy.

pat

Posted in conventions, The Adventures of The Princess and Mr. Whiffle | By Pat72 Responses
Published: June 29, 2010

A surfeit of surreality

So the other day I make a trip to the university surplus store. That’s the place where the University sells things that it doesn’t need anymore.

(Whoops. That should be university. No capital letter. It’s hard to break certain typing habits after working on the book.)

I love the surplus store. I’ve bought couches there. Chalkboards. Computers. The chair I’m sitting on right now came from the surplus store. Five bucks. It’s cushy and everything.

But on this particular day, I wander over because I hear the chemistry department has surplussed some of its glassware. Back before I fell under the dark sway of the liberal arts, I was studying to be a chemical engineer. I quit early on, before I could get sick of it. And as a result, I still have a real fondness for chemistry equipment. Especially the glassware.

So I head over and look at what they have. After poking around in a dozen boxes, I ask them what they’d take for the whole lot of it. We negotiate for a while, and eventually settle on a hundred fifty bucks for everything. I get them to throw in an old hand-crank centrifuge as well. Because if you’re going to have a  lab in your basement, why wouldn’t you want a hand-crank centrifuge?

It was a pretty frivolous purchase, I suppose. But I just love the stuff. Not even because it’s useful. Hell, some of the stuff I don’t even know what it’s called, let alone how to use it.

Other pieces are easier to identify.

This, for example, is obviously a bong:

This, on the other hand, is a much cooler, more complicated bong:

Okay, fine. I’m not sure what either one of those things is for. But look at the lower one. Witness its awesome. How could anyone not want something like that in their house?

After I bought the glassware I realized Sarah was off running errands. So my intrepid assistant Valerie offered to come pick me up and help me move the boxes.

While I was waiting for her, I wandered over to Starbucks for coffee. I know, I’m not proud of it. But I was on foot with half an hour to kill, and daddy needs his medicine.

By the way, we’re getting to the point of the story now. Did I mention that there was a point to this story? There is.

So I’m at Starbucks, trying to overcome the guilt of not supporting my locally owned, independent coffee shop. They don’t have blueberry syrup, either, which I figure is fair punishment for my betrayal.

Then the woman behind the counter says, “I really liked your book.”

I’m always surprised when someone recognizes me. It doesn’t happen that often, but it’s always flattering.  We talk about the book for a minute, and then I head out the door.

On the way back to the surplus store, I walk past a previously out-of-business store someone’s remodeling. I’ve heard a rumor that someone’s starting up a new restaurant in town called “Curry in a Hurry.” Needless to say, I’m delighted. Stevens Point is a nice place to live, but there’s no Indian food around these parts, and that makes me sad.

So I go over and ask the guy that’s painting a few questions. He confirms it is actually going to be the new curry place. I tell him that’s awesome. We smile.

Then, as I turn to leave, he says. “I’m a big fan.”

And this time it strikes me as a little weird. Two stranger in less than three minutes. And they haven’t just read my book, but they obviously know who I am and what I look like.

Still, I shrug it off. This is my hometown after all. And there have been more than a few local-boy-does-good stories in the paper. And I do have a bit of a distinctive look to me…

Given all that, I decide it’s just a coincidence, and that helps me keep my cool together.

But then, less than an hour later when I’m picking up an air conditioner at Menards, the guy in the loading bay smiles and says, “How are the books doing?”

And then it’s just all different colors of bizarre. Flattering? Sure. Cool? Yeah.  But mostly it was just weird. None of them said, “Are you that author guy?” They all just knew who I was. I’m not used to that. How can anyone ever be used to that?

Everything said, it made for a very surreal afternoon.

Later space cowboys,

pat

Posted in cool things, day in the life, Valerie | By Firebirdblaze87 Responses
Published: June 24, 2010

A Handful of Fanmail

I’ve got two pieces of mail, both of which should be answered sooner rather than later. So today we’re going to have a twofer.

Let’s do it.

Pat,

I missed your signing in Waukesha! I had a UFO come up at the last minute and wasn’t able to make it. (UFO = Unavoidable Family Obligation.)

My major problem is that I wanted to buy a signed book as a present for my boyfriend, who got me hooked on your book about a year ago. But now, when I’m catching up on your blog, I see that you had copies of the princess book there, too! I’m heartbroken!

Was it cool? I bet it was cool…

The point of my e-mail is to ask you if you’ll please come back to Milwaukee soon? Pretty Please?

Nat

It’s too bad you missed it, Nat. It was pretty cool. Everyone that showed up got an early copy of The Wise Man’s Fear and a backrub. Batman showed up too. He brought oatmeal raisin cookies and taught us all how to shatter a man’s hip using a broken-0ff chair leg.

So yeah, as far as my readings go, it was pretty much average.

I’m sorry you weren’t able to make it, but I don’t know soon I’ll be down in that area again. Logistically, it makes better sense for me to spread around my readings a bit, as it gives people in different areas a chance to attend.

I’ll probably do something down in Chicago before too long. Sarah wants to take Oot to the aquarium there, so I might as well do a little reading and signing while I’m in the area. (If anyone has a favorite bookstore in Chicago where they think I should stop, they can mention that in the comments below.)

Anyway, my point is I probably won’t be doing another reading in Milwaukee for months. But if you keep an eye on the blog and tour schedule page, you should be able to catch me when I’m somewhere nearby.

And if you still want a signed book for your boyfriend, you might want to check out Martha Merrell’s Bookstore. They brought in books for my signing down in Waukesha. And before I left, I signed a bunch of their stock. So they should have a bunch of my signed books still in the store.

They even have a few signed copies of the princess book, if you think your boyfriend would like one of those. It’s probably the only store in the country with those on the shelf right now.

Letter #2

Master Rothfuss,

I’ve been bad. I haven’t been keeping up on your blog, and consequently, I only today found out about your t-shirt design contest.

I desperately want to enter a design or two. But your blog says that the cutoff for entries is… today.

Can you please stretch out the deadline a bit for us sad, sorry losers that don’t check your blog as frequently now that school is out?

I promise it will be worth your while. I’m a graphic design major. I seriously do art and stuff.

In desperate minionhood,

Rich

(For those of you who are hopelessly out of the loop, here’s the blog where I talk about having a t-shirt design contest.)

This is what happens when you’re a lackluster minion, Rich. It’s because of people like you that the death star gets blown up.

Hmmm… I’m guessing that’s not the best example.

My point is that checking the blog should be an essential part of your life by now. You should treat my blog like your second job. You should revel in my blog with the same obsessive-compulsive fervor Sarah uses when I bring a bag of Cheetos into the house.

Seriously. She’s a freak for Cheetos. It’s like watching a very dainty shark.

Anyway, as I am a benevolent overlord, I realize my original two-week deadline was a little tight for some people. I’ve had several letters like this in the last few days, asking for a little extra time to complete designs.

So here’s the deal: I’ll extend the deadline for t-shirt submissions until the end of the month.

Two things to consider:

1. You’ve got your work cut out for you. We’ve had more than 100 designs submitted in the last week, and honestly, I’ve been really impressed. People came up with things I never would have thought of….

That means if you’re coming in under the wire, you better bring your A-game.

2. From this point on, we’ll only accept actual picture-type designs. We’ve got plenty of text descriptions right now. Over this next week, I’ll be turning over the best of these to our team of talented artists. They’ll work their magic, and early next month we’ll put the cream of the crop up here on the blog for people to ogle and vote upon.

Later everybody,

pat

Posted in fan coolness, Fanmail Q + A, Oot, Sarah | By Pat83 Responses
Published: June 22, 2010

A Brief Musical Interlude

Occasionally someone sends me a youtube video that’s just too cool to ignore.

That said, even the really cool ones I keep to myself. I worry if I posted them up here, I’d eventually become the blog-equivalent of that guy at work that forwards you two dozen funny cat stories every day.

Still, there are a few cool videos that are book related and cool, so I feel like I’m justified in sharing them here…

Here’s a guy who showed me that you can actually play a guitar with three strings. You can play the hell out of it, in fact.

And here’s some guys that took a crack at writing and playing Tinker, Tanner.


Share and Enjoy….

pat

Posted in fan coolness, music, videos | By Pat36 Responses
Published: June 17, 2010

A New Addition to the Family

Much to my delight, something arrived in the mail today:

(Click to Embiggen.)

That’s right, I was so excited about finally holding a real-life copy of The Adventures of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle that I actually went outside to take a picture of it.

It was strange outside the house. Everything was very bright and green. There was some sort of fiery orb in the sky that burned me….

Seriously though, I’m so happy with how the book turned out. It’s gorgeous.

Best of all, since these boxes of books showed up today, I’ll be able to take them down to my reading near Milwaukee this Saturday.

That means if you swing by the reading, you’ll be one of the first people to hear me read the whole story. And, if you want, you can buy a copy before they’re even in stores.

The books literally just got in from the printers. So the folks at Subterranean Press are still busy processing them. That means they won’t be shipping for a little bit. But the good news is that if you haven’t ordered it yet, you still have a day or so to get free shipping.

Or you can come down to Waukesha on this Saturday and pick up a copy. Did I mention I’m doing reading and a signing there? I’m pretty sure I did.

Man, I really need to get some sleep. Even new-book excitement can’t change the fact that I’ve been up for 40 hours.

Sweet dreams everyone,

pat

Posted in appearances, cool things, side projects, signing books, The Adventures of The Princess and Mr. Whiffle | By Pat58 Responses
Published: June 15, 2010

Who Fears Death?

Since I’ve become a published author, a lot has changed in my life.

Most of these changes have been good things. Money, for example. These days when I go to the grocery store, I don’t have to buy the 33 cent burritos. Now I can buy the 59 cent burritos, which contain, if not food, then at least a texture designed to emulate food.

When I buy ramen, I don’t have to buy the Chicken Maruchen ramen, which you can get for a dime a packet if you buy it in bulk. These days I can buy really fancy ramen. Ramen with three or four little packets of stuff you add to the noodles. These packets contain flecks of material that I suspect are not merely vegetable colored… they might actually *be* vegetables.

True, I usually buy the Chicken Maruchen ramen anyway. But it’s nice to know that if I wanted to, I could splurge a little.

People recognize me in public now. Not just here in Stevens Point (where I live) or in Madison (where I used to live.) Someone recognized me in a train station in Manchester England last year. It was a surreal experience back then, but it’s happened all over the US now, people come up to me on the street or in a coffee shop and say, “Are you…?”

And, usually, I am.

It’s amazing what you can get used to. I never thought I’d get used to seeing my book in bookstores, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. I’m used to fanmail. I’m used to sometimes getting a hundred comments when I post a blog.

But when I was at Wiscon a couple weeks ago, I got another surprise. My friend Nnedi Okorafor was GOH there and I picked up a copy of her newly published book: Who Fears Death.

Some of you might remember Nnedi’s name because of the fun little interview I did with her a couple months ago.

Anyway, when I was standing in line to buy her book, I flipped it over and was surprised at what I saw there.

(Click to Embiggen.)

It was a blurb extolling the virtues the book… from Patrick Rothfuss.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, of course. I had given her the blurb, after all. But still, it’s not something I’m used to yet.

Everything said, my blurb seems kinda weak compared to some of the others. I kinda suck at giving blurbs for a variety of reasons. But that’s a topic for a different post I suppose…

Despite my lack of blurb prowess, if you’re looking for something to read, you should check it out. This is doubly true if you happen to be tired of the same-old done-to-death fantasy crap. You know what I’m talking about: plucky orphans, schools of magic, faeries, dragons, vaguely medieval settings, stew…

Nnedi’s made a different type of world here, and she’s telling a different kind of story. I can honestly say there were scenes in this book that filled me with genuine horror and dread. I mean that as the highest sort of praise. It’s easy to make me laugh, and you don’t have to work too hard to make me cry. But to make me actually terrified on a character’s behalf? That’s rare stuff.

More news soon, stay tuned.

pat

Posted in recommendations, the art of blurbing, Things I didn't know about publishing | By Pat66 Responses
Published: June 9, 2010

T-shirt Design Contest

So the response to the “would y’all like some t-shirts” question has been answered rather enthusiastically.

I was thinking if we got about 150 people expressing an interest it would be worth doing. Since we got over three times that many responses in less than a day, I’m thinking we’re good to go.

Here’s the plan. I’m eventually going to make t-shirts for three different things.

We’re going to start with the last of these as Worldbuilders won’t be starting up again for months, and Adventures won’t be published for another month or so. (I’m so excited…)

Here’s the problem with the plan: I really don’t have a good idea for a t-shirt design.

Part of the problem is that I work in a non-visual medium. I’m texty. And while I’m good at what I do, raw text doesn’t usually make the most compelling t-shirt design.

There are exceptions, of course….

Shirts like this are fun for a lot of reasons. First, you get to let your freak flag fly. This one not only expresses my undying love for Joss Whedon, but it’s a bit of a star-wars riff, AND the shirt itself is from one of my favorite webcomics. It’s a nerdy hat-trick.

Shirts like this are like wearing geek gang colors. If I’m at a convention and someone says they like my shirt, then I know we have something in common. We’ll have something to chat about if we’re standing together in line.

But, generally speaking, a t-shirt with a bit of a picture is way more interesting.

(Click to Embiggen.)

For those of you that can’t see it that clearly, the t-shirt says: “Pose as a team, ’cause shit just got real.” Yes I love the comic that spawned it, but the real reason I own that particular shirt is because it cracks me up.

Sometimes shirts express a universal truth.

Others provide social commentary.

Or give fair warning.

There are also shirts that I consider stealth geek shirts. For example:

Obviously I’m not stealthing very well right here. But the point is, if I leave the convention and take off my badge, the Fruit Oaty Bar t-shirt looks perfectly normal. It doesn’t scream GEEK! at everyone who looks at me. But at the same time, real Firefly can identify me as a true believer.

Also, it’s a really good color on me. I’m an autumn.

Here’s my thought. A couple years ago when I ran a photo contest, y’all amazed me with your creativity. People climbed onto rooftops, stripped naked, someone even sewed a pair of pants for my book.

I’m hoping to tap into that well of enthusiastic creativity again.

So here’s the deal. For two weeks we’ll be accepting submissions for t-shirt designs. (Until June 23rd) Then we’ll winnow through them and put up the cream of the crop here on the blog for people to discuss and vote on.

  • What sort of design should I submit?

Something cool. The particular flavor of cool I leave entirely to you. Rock my world.

  • What format should I use?

The best option, of course, is that you e-mail us a file with the lovingly crafted design. Even shirts that are just pure text need some graphic design to them.

However, if you’re like me, you have no graphic talent. If that’s the case, you might want to consider teaming up with a friend to design something.

Failing that, you could just send us your description of what you think the shirt should look like. If it seems like a cool idea, I’ll talk to one of my artist friends and see if they can whip something up.

  • Where do you send it?

e-mail it to: paperback.contest [squiggly atsign thinger] gmail.com.

  • What do I get out of it if you pick my design?

First, the envy of your peers. Bragging rights. Adulation and fawning praise.

Second, we’ll come to some sort of arrangement for compensation. If you like, I could just buy the design off you in the same way I’d pay a graphic designer.

Or, if you’d prefer, I could give you something else. I’ve got a handful of first-edition books around here that I could sign for you. And some ARC’s too, if you’re into collectibles. I’ve got posters and a bunch of other stuff. We’ll be able to work something out.

Also, you can probably make a play for some free shirts when they’re done.

Thanks for playing everyone. Remember, the deadline is June 23rd.

pat

Posted in a billion links, calling on the legions, contests, Firefly | By Pat96 Responses

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